oh hey! it’s me, wasting money on perfume samples I hate again.
zoologist tyrannosaurus rex is one of those legendary creatures in the perfume world, the one that people who like “beast mode” speak of admiringly as a literal beast. words used of it include “animalic”, “dumpster fire”, and “bold”.
I didn’t particularly expect to like this one, but did want to smell what the fuss was about. while I was at it, I also got camel, which has been described as “spicy”, “warm”, and “comforting”, and bee, described by most as a pure honey accord. spoiler! I strongly disagree with all of these descriptions! (except, perhaps, dumpster fire, which honestly could apply to all three in my nose.)
sprayed all three on card. having experienced that, they will never touch my body. ew. sad, really, as these are lovely samples, big 2ml spray vials beautifully packaged in a fully informative folded card. alas. at least the shipping wasn’t the usual insult-to-injury of perfume orders, since they came from toronto.
zoologist bee top notes: orange, ginger syrup, royal jelly accord. heart notes: broom, heliotrope, mimosa, orange flower. base notes: benzoin, labdanum, musks, sandalwood, tonka, vanilla. ok look. I know in here I am very prone to say “this smells like the nag champa stuff that head shop tie dye clothes are steeped in”, to the point that I wonder if there’s some very specific aromachemical to which I’m partly noseblind, and which reads like that to me. but this? smells ex-fucking-actly like that. syrupy and floral-ish. disappointing, since a pure honey would be a thing I’d be interested in.
zoologist camel top notes: dried fruit, frankincense, palm date, rose. heart notes: amber, cedar, cinnamon, jasmine, myrrh, orange blossom. base notes: civet, musk, oud, sandalwood, tonka bean, vanilla, vetiver. me on first spray: that smells really... familiar. some kind of cleaning product or air freshener? me, ten minutes later (very specific canadian reference): what the FUCK that smells exactly like the horrible scent they’ve been pumping into the 401 highway On Route rest stops for the past couple of years. (there are machines going full-tilt in the bathrooms. the last time I got a coffee from one from the drive-through window, the cup reeked so strongly of it it made my car stink.) HORRID. DREADFUL. I WANT COMPENSATION FOR THE PSYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE THIS INFLICTED. and how this could possibly have come about from the listed combination, I do not know. but ew.
zoologist t.rex top notes: bergamot, black pepper, laurel leaf, neroli, fir, nutmeg. heart notes: champaca, geranium, rose, jasmine, osmanthus, ylang ylang. base notes: resins, cade, cedar, civet, incense, leather, patchouli, vanilla, sandalwood. this one smells like someone heard what the comme des garçons more abstract scents were like, and clumsily tried to replicate it. first spray is burning plastic and fake roses. after a while the specifically “plastic” part of the burning passes, leaving just a simulated burning smell and chemical roses mixed with ylang ylang. at once more unpleasant and less interesting than I expected from all the many descriptions I’ve read.
well, that’s zoologist. I think that will suffice for my personal forays into the line!
