I’ve been having trouble sleeping for two months now. It’s not really because I don’t have time to do everything I need to do for work or for daily errands and chores. I usually find myself playing games on my phone or reading books on my Kindle instead of doing something more productive. Yet, despite all these “relaxing” I seem to be doing, I’m still feeling anxious. There’s this feeling of dread inside me that scares me. I can’t stop to think that my life is going nowhere. I’m not getting any younger and I feel like I haven’t really done anything worthy to speak of. I feel so restless and aimless. I know I have to do something but I’m not sure what it is or even where and how to start or at least point myself in that direction. Everyone else around me seems to have their life figured out with their careers and their marriages. While I’m here still faking it. I’m so scared that one of these days they’ll find out about me and I’ll feel even more of a loser than I already do now. I think it’s what they call “Impostor Syndrome”. I’m doing what I can, keeping up this facade while waiting or the other shoe to just drop. I want to get out of this funk I’m in. I’ve bought self-help and productivity books. I’ve started to read them. The operative word is start. I haven’t finished any of these books at all. I need help, I know. What I need to figure out now is from whom; because that’s going to be critical.
