Tal The Water Beetle

[tal-the-water-beetle]

Pinned post

I'm Talal and I'm a Japanese Water Scavenger Beetle. (Regimbartia attenuate)

Note the lack of articulated abdomen, or "insect tail" if you're a stupid trend following furry, and the antennae are under the nose, you know, where nostrils are supposed to be.

Oh I'm a boring nobody with no personality, trust me.

Special Abilities

Abilities common to my species

Superhuman strength, if applied gradually.

Superhuman traction.

Corrosion proof.

Strong penetration resistance.

Strong thermal resistance.

Basically immune to nuclear radiation.

Can hold my breath for hours.

Can go without drinking water for long periods of time.

Displacement manipulation. (not the same as force manipulation)

Immunity to some common deadly toxins, poisons and enzymes, including mercury and tetrodotoxin. (the ones most asked about)

Superhuman sense of smell.

Mildly superhuman hearing, but excellent underwater hearing.

Powerful jaws.

Powerful forehead.

Powerful spine.

Powerful legs.

Superhuman burst speed. (works for a fraction of a second every few seconds) (quickly uses up stamina if only used a few times)

My personal abilities

Magnetostatic manipulation. it's not magnetokinesis, not even close. it's something far far worse. i can bend energy and warp space-time. take note, "warp" and "bend". i don't completely control them. i don't skip, generate or destroy them. i curve them.

environmental and spatial awareness.

i'm smart. not in terms of IQ. i have wisdom.

i'm dedicated to a task if it matters enough.

i'm fearless.

i have a high pain threshold.

i'm a lot fitter than i look.

i have real fighting experience.

i'm a tough, stubborn old mule.

and most importantly, i'm different. you'll find out what that means.

[tal-the-water-beetle]

Can I say I'm a method actor, if I make police reconstructions of events involving organised criminal gangs?

side note:

today i found out that Yzma's name translates as "chilling bones".

[tal-the-water-beetle]

Dear people who say "check out my blog", and then immediately block you. I just want you to know, that I had no idea you were doing that. I just found out today, that you've been doing this all February. My partner was using my phone, and clicked on the suggested blogs. I've never once looked at the blogs, that you so enthusiastically suggested. So I'm glad you got a giggle out of it, but sadly your prank backfired.

My partner just said that you're like people who ding dong ditch abandoned buildings. Too true.

[acidtheater]

"Halloween adults are just as bad as disney adults" "Furries are worse than disney adults"

I gotta be real, I thought we were critical of disney adults for aggressive loyalty to a really gross mega-corporation, or refusal to engage with media that isn't for kids, not because people... have hobbies?

[tal-the-water-beetle]

could do without the wed and the orgies though.

[monstermonk]

How do you feel about digestion? (other than a little tingling of course)

i gave myself acid immunity for a reason ksjfjf i am not into digestionnn and the only kind of digestion i'd be willing to rp is painless melting into goo with reformationnn

[bort-the-solenogaster]

i got the same question.

nobody reads your bio here.

[tal-the-water-beetle]

oh i hope

[i-am-but-a-beta-fish]

eva: oh hey you're back early

simon: ocean's haunted

eva: what?

simon: *cocks radiation gun* ocean's haunted

[tal-the-water-beetle]

the ocean's always been haunted.

oh wait, you meant the movie.

[asphodel-asphodel]

always have. <3

[tal-the-water-beetle]

well at least the tax dollars are going to a good cause

[kingsillysmilez]

Angel Redesign !

[tal-the-water-beetle]

kinda reminds me of my bf

[ms--medusa]

Looking at followers list

Let’s see what’s on the menu tonight.

[tal-the-water-beetle]

*ducks behind a small bush so as not to be seen*

does this count?

i mean i'm not on the list of followers, but i am...

[that-one-enby-ranger-2000]

I have one simple request and that is to see Halt holding and cuddling one of these fat fucks

Look at how adorable they are. This one is apparently eight days old from what the pin description said. Little baby kiwi

[loz-the-unhinged]

kiwi's are practically adults when they're born.

so basically you're saying all kiwi are cute lil babies.

i'm a cute lil baby.

..--**yay**--..

[tal-the-water-beetle]

all kiwi are valid in the vore fandom.

[bort-the-solenogaster]

It's possible.

Kiwi birds are the only creature that if anthropomorphic would be able to swallow you whole without just recently giving birth.

No other creature has an opening that stretches wide enough to actually swallow another creature their size.

And yes, that includes herptiles, birds and molluscs.

That means kiwi birds are the only same-size vore pred that's canon, without breaking the laws of physics.

Behold your master. The mighty kiwi. Lord of the vores!

and by the way, both males and females can stretch their anal cavity wide enough and rearrange their organs to accommodate something their size.

they don't even have to be fertile or have genitalia at all.

in terms of swallowing things orally, if they were human-size, they could swallow a skinny person head-first, right up until they met the hips, which would be too wide to fit through their mouth.

similarly, if going feet first, they would stop half-way up the thigh, the hips being too wide.

they would need to break their jaw to swallow orally. the flesh can stretch, but the skeletal structure wouldn't allow it.

it is possible however that a kiwi bird could be born with a defect where the temporomandibular joint (the hinge of the jaw) failed to ossifice properly (bones didn't grow) during development in the egg.

a wild bird with this would be unable to forage, but an anthropomorphic one could use their hands to compensate.

meaning that if anthropomorphic kiwi birds existed, there would be a small percentage of their population that wold absolutely be able to oral vore other creatures their size.

[loz-the-unhinged]

[tal-the-water-beetle]

well.

you're certainly unhinged.

[maggotmuncher0]

just a sketch

[loz-the-unhinged]

[tal-the-water-beetle]

my partner changed their persona to look more childlike

and now it's really awkward to explain to people

that we are %@$#ing in real life.

[tal-the-water-beetle]

My reaction on meeting kiwi bird oc's

just replace duck with kiwi

[longsightmyth]

Scientist on the ship: listen you laugh at the regulations but one time a woman DID try to tale a penguin home with her. I swear. She got it on the ship and was keeping it in her bathroom.

Me: that's WILD. These bathrooms aren't up to spec for penguins even overnight

Scientist: ...how would you know that

Me, realizing I'm about to get to tell my story about managing a hotel when there was an emergency stopover for penguin transport and we were the only place in the area with bathrooms that would work for the night:

[tal-the-water-beetle]

are you that racist guy from the hotel in south africa?

only this anecdote...

[chimaerakitten]

Look if a garment is like. Wool or silk. And it’s like, don’t put me in the fucking wash. I’m like yeah of course ma’am I shall lightly dab you with a damp cloth and air you out so you don’t get stinky. But when a polyester garment is like “hand wash only” I’m like who the FUCK do you think you are. You’re plastic. Get in the drum.

[tal-the-water-beetle]

this has weird parallel's to the protagonist of Iron Lung

[leaving-earth]

[tal-the-water-beetle]

that distinction of 'fake' blood

implies there's a movie with more blood in it,

only that blood wasn't fake.