tales of a thirty something nothing.

[juldanielle]

.𖥔 ݁₊˚⊹ chaos reaches outer space .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ⋆

long live ego death !!! this record will never leave my mind and my heart. i cannot believe i’m seeing hayley live soon CRAZYYYY

[talesofathirtysomethingnothing]

it's been a year since Ryder left this world.

he saw me settle into adulthood through my 20s and mid 30s

he was an anchor and showed me what pure, selfless love is

but most of all, he was my best friend.

my heart broke into so many pieces the day he left

and those pieces are still mismatched and scattered.

but despite his death,

I've learned so much about myself

I've taken chances I never would've before

I'm leaning on my friends and family

I'm learning and creating art to help fill the mountain of a gap that he left.

I'm putting in the work to be the best person that I can be

more so than ever in my life

I don't know what that really means

it's a strange dichotomy.

I celebrated him with McDonald's chicken nuggets, fries, and Andy's custard

and reminisced about his sassiness, but how much he loved his people.

Ryder, I miss you more than everything I am.

you're my favorite thing I've ever done.

I miss you forever.

[talesofathirtysomethingnothing]

I'm doing this thing

where I'm justifying large expenses

(concert tickets, trips, etc.)

because my dog died a year ago around this time.

how's that for grief?

[qvotext]

[mournfulroses]

Virginia Woolf, from her novel titled "The Waves," originally published in 1931

[shisasan]

Oh God, I’m so tired. 6 July, 1927 The Letters of Vita Sackville-West to Virginia Woolf (1924-1941)

[sadcoms]

up there so long everything changed i won't quit on you | hayley williams

[havanaberry]

Hayley Williams Glum (In The Park)

[iero]

HAYLEY WILLIAMS | Glum

[pmoregifs]

Strange fruit, hard bargain Till the roots, Southern Gotham

HAYLEY WILLIAMS True Believer - The Tonight Show - Oct. 8, 2025

[dailywilliams]

HW.

[ateazure]

"and the universe said i love you."

prints now available here!

[iero]

Go ahead and kill me, can't get much stronger

HAYLEY WILLIAMS | Kill Me (In the Garden)

[phantom-threaded]

"There's no definition of grief, like there's no beginning or ending of grief. It just is its own thing, so in the middle of the third take that scream just came out. […] It didn't feel like it was… it was like an ancient grief." — Jessie Buckley Hamnet 2025, dir. Chloé Zhao

[talesofathirtysomethingnothing]

The moment Ryder died, I curled up next to his body and screamed out the way that Agnes does in Hamnet. My mom said she'd never heard such a guttural cry from me.

I didn't know there was a way that moment could be recreated, until I watched it on screen.

This film is the embodiment of grief. Holy shit.

[talesofathirtysomethingnothing]

I'm tired of you, still tied to me.

[taohun]

back to my marker and scanner roots

[talesofathirtysomethingnothing]