Moved to @talking-bigender! @talking--bigender - Tumblr Blog

Hey fellas! So I switched blogs! Feel free to follow me @talking-bigender instead! (it’s the same username as before, if you’ve noticed I changed this account’s name so I could keep the old username)

Hello. So, I have a character in a story I made. In the start he is cis, but I’m considering him being bigender later on in the story (Sorry if that sentence sounded weird and/or rude). Do you have any tips on how a person can find out if they’re bigender in the middle of a story?

Hi, so sorry for the late response- and it’s not rude! Although I would like to say that if your character is bigender at any point then he isn’t “cis in the start”, he’s just in the closet. There can be many ways- maybe he talked to another bigender person about their experiences and he relates to them, maybe he hears the definition somehow and is hit with a wave of realization, maybe he tries different labels throughout the story and finds that the bigender label makes him happiest.

H e y so I'm bigender (girl/gender-neutral or agender, idk the proper word) aand 1) am I allowed to claim both the terms lesbian & feminamoric (tbh i'm very attached to my lesbian identity it's my only connection to girlhood) 2) how do I remind myself that I'm valid? cuz most ppl assume bigender = boy/girl aaand 3) please help what's the deal with the flags?? i love the og, but also the one you have on your icon... this feels like a lesbian flag dilemma 2.0 what's going on??? (PS: fellow ace!!)

So sorry for the late response!! But 1) you sure are! Nonbinary lesbians are absolutely a thing and many people identify as a lesbian due to their attachment to the label and community- so go for it! 2) Self validation is a hard thing to come by, but I hope it helps that I absolutely think you’re valid and we certainly need to spread the idea that bigender isn’t always just “boy + girl”! 3) It really is lesbian flag dilemma 2.0., because the creator of the most popular bigender flag (the pink, purple, white, purple and blue one) was revealed to be... A total shithead so the flag I use is the second most popular and made by someone decent, from what I’ve heard at least. (And hell yeah fellow bigender ace!!)

i know fluidflux is a thing but is bigenderfluidflux a thing? because i feel like at any given moment i have two genders. sometimes im more female than male, sometimes more male than female but always both. except sometimes i just don't have any genders at all. it's always both or none, i never have just one gender or more than two. i dont know, i'm confused.

If nobody has thought of bigenderfluidflux before, then just make it a label anyway! Please, if you think it suits you best and describes your experiences, then go for it.

I've been identifying as bigender for a little over a year now but I've realized my gender changes between several genders, not just two. On that note, it's still never more than two genders at a time. I still feel like this label describes me very well, but I'm worried that calling myself bigender would be lying/misrepresenting the community. Do you think it would it be disrespectful to continue to identify as bigender? Even if it's not, I'm wondering if I should try finding a different label?

Hey there! Sorry for the late response- but let me tell you something. Nobody but you can dictate what gender you are or what label to use, and it doesn’t matter if someone claims you’re “misrepresenting the community”. I think it’s awesome that you feel like the bigender label fits you best, and I think that you should keep using it on that basis alone. Don’t let gatekeepers and other people’s opinions keep you away from your identity, alright?

Do you think it’s possible to not be cis but also not be trans? I feel like a lot of bigender people probably question this since their agab is likely one of their gender identities

Well, thing is, all nonbinary genders CAN fall under the transgender umbrella- by that I mean it isn’t a matter of what “kind” nonbinary you are that determines your trans-ness, but if you personally want to go by that label. For example, I’m nonbinary and by extension could consider myself trans, regardless of whether one of my genders align with my agab- but I choose not to, mainly because I don’t like exclusionists lumping me under the T label to justify their bigotry and exclusion of other identities. It’s just a matter of choice really

hello! im not sure if you're still active but i came across your blog and wanted some advice :) ive been out as a demiboy for a long time(not irl ofc) but recently, i feel like i could be bigender or androgynous? maybe im just a really feminine (demi)guy or just feel that i don't pass and maybe that's it? my friends suggested maybe i was cis but i don't think that's it because i was out before as ftm for a year or so and felt really good about it? (sorry if i don't give enough info)

Hey there! So sorry for the late response- to start, I think that if you feel good being not cis, then you’re definitely not cis. Secondly, presentation or how well you pass has no indicative on your gender, so please don’t feel like you have to chose a label based on how others see you- instead, what would make you most comfterable/content? You said you were pretty happy as being binary trans, so what label would make you feel the same now, if not better? That’s what you should be asking yourself, I think. And the final decision on what you identify as should be made by you and you alone.

Hello! 💕 I’m afab, and for almost all my life I thought I was cis, but recently I’ve been questioning—even though I strongly relate to my birth gender (maybe 90-99%), sometimes it feels good to imagine myself with different body parts, or use they/them pronouns, and when I imagine my ideal self it’s a person w/ masculine features & body parts who presents femininely. Do u think this is bigender? Is it ok that it’s such a small percentage of me, and is it valid to consider myself nonbinary?

Hey there! Sorry for the late response- secondly, I’m not here to tell you what you are or what you’re not. All I can say is that if the nonbinary label and the bigender label is enticing to you, that you think it encompasses what you feel and it’d make you happy to identify as, then that’s the label for you. Even if you only feel a small percent of a different gender, no matter how you present or what you want to look like, the final decision should be made by you.

Hi so um I was wondering if I could still be bigender if I'm a female and a demiboy?

Sure! If you feel like that encompasses your gender experience best and it’s what you want as a label then please use it! I’ve said this before, but labels are tools for us to use rather than innate things we “are”, if that makes sense, and exist for our comfort!

There's a fair few bigender flags right? i have a bigender character, and i was wondering which flag would be best to use? ive heard that theres some controversy around one/some of them, but ive been looking and i cant find much information on it and i dont want to accidentally use the wrong one

There are a few, the most popular one (the pink, purple, white, and blue one) is the one with the most controversy because the creator is shit- the one I’m using in my icon and header (I’ll also post it here) is the second most popular and from what I’ve heard has an ok creator. So this is the one you should use!

Maybe right term is bigender? I'm biological female. From young age I would identify as male and female characters and "felt" like girls are my opposite gender. It's interesting that kids treated me like a boy (maybe because I was a bit tomboyish). Later I started feeling more and more female but there is still something "male" in me. Second, maybe it's too private-but I fantasize about having male body during sex sometimes. Other times female. I feel "wrong" and want to finally accept myself.

Hey there! There’s really nothing “wrong” with you. I think you’re very hung up on how others see you and on fitting a certain mold though. You should focus on allowing yourself to experience what you do freely, and being an observer rather than a suppressor/trying to control your experiences. I also can’t tell you what you “are”- you get to decide what fits you best and makes you happiest in terms of labels. If you think you’re bigender and that’s what you want to be, then that’s probably what you are. Or, if not, then there are other labels that you should look at and see if you connect to them better. Hope this makes sense.

Hi! I have been questioning my gender lately and I have been thinking that I might be bigender? How can I find out if I'm bigender or not? Is it okay if I sometimes don't want to use pronuns? And when I do can I use the pronouns she/he? Do I have to use pronuns if I'm bigender? How can I tell my friend that I might be Bigender or my homophopic mom?

Hey there! Sorry for the late response- first of all, pronouns are not indicative of gender and you can use any pronouns you want, or none at all! Second, there’s no singluar way to “find out” you’re a gender- if you think you’re bigender and the thought of being bigender makes you happy though, then you’re probably bigender. Third, I’ve never come out to people so I don’t have advice on that front, I’m really sorry. Although if you have a homophobic mom, I advise you stay safe and don’t come out to her until you’re in a position where you don’t depend on her for shelter/income/food/etc.

This isn't really a question, but I stumbled on this blog and although I, myself, am not bi-gender, I love learning about different gender identifications, and I was curious about people who identify as bi-gender. I also recently wanted to write several bi-gender characters in this writing project of mine, and you helped me understand a few things. Sorry if this is inconvenient, but I really wanted to comment👌 I also will add that I will still research about this topic, so I can be respectful.

Sorry for the late response, but I’m happy to learn that I’ve helped with your creative process! I’m always happy to hear about bigender rep. Although, if you don’t mind me commenting, you can write bi-gender as just bigender, no need for a dash!

Hi! I'm AFAB but I feel both female and agender at the same time and sometimes I feel like it switches to nonbinary and agender at the same time or nonbinary and female. Is that considered bigender and if not do you happen to know what it is considered? Thanks in advance!

Hey there! Sorry for the late response first of all- second, labels are flexible and if you feel like your experience makes you bigender then feel free to call yourself that! It’s not up to me to decide what you are, what you need to focus on is finding a label that makes you happy and comfortable. And if bigender does that for you, then go for it! Hope that makes sense

can you be bigender feel like youre transmasc and a trans boy? does that make sense? like. sometimes i feel like im a transmasc nonbinary and sometimes i feel like a guy!

Hey there! Sorry for late response, but yeah! No bigender experience is the same, and if you experience your gender fluidly then that’s fine too!

I just noticed that I might be bigender- but the thing I keep asking myself is what if people don't know how to put my sexuality? I'm use to lesbian, cause I was female at birth. But what if people is confused on how to put it?

Hi there! So sorry for the late response- but I think that it’s counterproductive to worry about what others think when it’s your identity. I know it’s hard defining your sexuality when you’re nonbinary, many familiar labels aren’t made for us- but that shouldn’t stop you from identifying as what makes you happy! Besides, nonbinary lesbians exist and have existed for a long time- so don’t worry about others, it’s none of their business really, and focus on yourself and what feels best for you!

Hi, um I was going around google and stuff like that trying to figure out what my gender could be because lately, and times before, I've felt like, well I don't really know how to explain it really, but I've felt like I should be a guy then other times I should be a girl. So I'm confused on if I'm bigender, gender fluid, transgender, I just don't know anymore. Then I came across you and thought wow someone I can get advise from or relate to so yeah that's my story. I just really need someone.

Hey there! So sorry for the late response- But essentially, pick the label that makes you feel the most comfortable/happy! For starters, nonbinary identities (including the ones you described, such as genderfluid and bigender) fall under the transgender umbrella, so you can identify as trans no matter what. Second, bigender and genderfluid have definitions and experiences that can overlap so. Feel free to just choose! There’s even such thing as bigenderflux/bigenderfluid if you can’t decide!

I know there’s this idea that you’re born with or have an innate “perfect” label for you, that there’s a “right answer” to the question “what am I”- but labels are just that- they’re labels, ie. tools for us to use. It’s up to you to put them on, and up to you to chose which one(s) fit you best. Hope this helps!

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Moved to @talking-bigender!