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@talkpilottome
Yeah, yeah, rub it in, Nintendo. [He sticks out his tongue at him.]
See, part of the problem… [He starts fiddling with the sugar dispenser, just to have something in his hands.] …is that I’m not even entirely sure if I’m…attracted to anything?
That is possible.
That’s what Hermann said it sounded like, he seems to know his shit… [He rubs his eyes.]
There's nothing wrong with that, brother.
I tend to say what everyone is thinking.
[He finished is bagel] Not-leaving is the same as toleration, almost. [He crosses his arms after a sip of coffee] Failure is part of the experience. Break-ups and all. You’re a scientist, you’ve got to fail before you succeed sometimes. But honestly that’s what love and relationships are. Leaping into something you’re not one hundred percent sure that’ll last forever. Unless you’re me and Alison, you find that one girl and infinity seems just over the horizon. [smirk]
Yeah, yeah, rub it in, Nintendo. [He sticks out his tongue at him.]
See, part of the problem… [He starts fiddling with the sugar dispenser, just to have something in his hands.] …is that I’m not even entirely sure if I’m…attracted to anything?
That is possible.
…yeah. [He sighed heavily.] Guess I was just taking what I could get.
Which isn’t bad, but you didn’t really…figure anything out. Most people piece together what they want in a relationship. Do you know what you want besides “toleration”?
Do you and Hermann have some kind of hive mind? He asked me the same thing just recently.
[He sighs.] I dunno, man. Not-leaving? I haven’t put a ton of thought into it, after Ingrid I just kind of…gave up, I guess? I was going through stuff, I didn’t want to deal with more failure, then just as a got a handle on my mental state, giant monsters started fucking up our shit and I sort of eloped with K-science.
I tend to say what everyone is thinking. [He finished is bagel] Not-leaving is the same as toleration, almost. [He crosses his arms after a sip of coffee] Failure is part of the experience. Break-ups and all. You're a scientist, you've got to fail before you succeed sometimes. But honestly that's what love and relationships are. Leaping into something you're not one hundred percent sure that'll last forever. Unless you're me and Alison, you find that one girl and infinity seems just over the horizon. [smirk]
…well, at first she seemed to find me more “funny” than offputting…that was kinda nice.
So Newt, what I’m gathering so far is that the people you dated, is very…superficial? [He rubs the back of his neck] You dated people mostly because they tolerated you. Which sounds more like a fling than an actual relationship, no offense. Flings are fine. But you were in an emotionally invested fling. A relationship you remember more than just they were nice to you.
…yeah. [He sighed heavily.] Guess I was just taking what I could get.
Which isn't bad, but you didn't really...figure anything out. Most people piece together what they want in a relationship. Do you know what you want besides "toleration"?
…honestly, dude, I was depressed when we started dating, so I don’t really remember much in the terms of emotions. You know, beyond everything sucking.
So you don’t remember anything that made you feel better about her?
…well, at first she seemed to find me more “funny” than offputting…that was kinda nice.
So Newt, what I'm gathering so far is that the people you dated, is very...superficial? [He rubs the back of his neck] You dated people mostly because they tolerated you. Which sounds more like a fling than an actual relationship, no offense. Flings are fine. But you were in an emotionally invested fling. A relationship you remember more than just they were nice to you.
Oh, yeah. Ingrid. I broke up with her.
What did you like about Ingrid though?
…honestly, dude, I was depressed when we started dating, so I don’t really remember much in the terms of emotions. You know, beyond everything sucking.
So you don't remember anything that made you feel better about her?
[Tendo listens, and chews on his begal. He’s seeing a pattern. Both with the reason Newt is dating and the reason he is getting dumped]
Is there a four?
Oh, yeah. Ingrid. I broke up with her.
What did you like about Ingrid though?
[His entire demeanor changes in an instant, and his look becomes one of pure dread.] Oh gooooood.
Newton.
Don’t. Don’t start on the dad voice, you…uuugggh. Fine.
[Deep breath in.]
We met through mutual friends, kinda got along in that weird “one of the guys” way? But then a lot of making out happened, she was cute, she thought I was cute, we kind of stumbled into dating, but whoa, did she move fast, like, express train fast… [His voice is speeding up a bit.] And I’m like, “Christ, is this how all relationships work? Is it normal for her to want this so suddenly?” But I kept telling her no, because…well, I don’t know, it seemed logical at the time, and, and you have to understand, I was just starting to go crazy the year before, I was probably on a high, fighting happening, she asked me if it’d kill me to act like a normal human being for once, and then she dumped me outside a bar at three in the morning.
…so that happened.
[Tendo listens, and chews on his begal. He's seeing a pattern. Both with the reason Newt is dating and the reason he is getting dumped] Is there a four?
…me. I went wrong. [He shrugged.] Said some shit…you know, stupid, insensitive stuff, and I’m not surprised she stopped talking to me.
[He watches Newt for a moment before kicking back on the back two legs of his chair] So far, you like nice girls. So far all I can gather is you like nice people. So what about number three?
[His entire demeanor changes in an instant, and his look becomes one of pure dread.] Oh gooooood.
Newton.
[For a second, he looks genuinely sad.]
It was a…teen band thing? I was going to college at the time, but my dad wanted to make sure I was hanging out with kids my age, and she played bass, and we kind of hit it off…we were friends for a while, then we started going out…she was…nice. I really liked her.
So… same interests, same age, you guys were friends first. [He notes the sadness] So what went wrong?
…me. I went wrong. [He shrugged.] Said some shit…you know, stupid, insensitive stuff, and I’m not surprised she stopped talking to me.
[He watches Newt for a moment before kicking back on the back two legs of his chair] So far, you like nice girls. So far all I can gather is you like nice people. So what about number three?
…This is gonna sound really sad, but…I was sixteen and she was the first girl who was really nice to me. That’s how I remember it, anyway.
No shame, brother. [He leans back] So she was nice to you. Now what about girlfriend two?
[For a second, he looks genuinely sad.]
It was a…teen band thing? I was going to college at the time, but my dad wanted to make sure I was hanging out with kids my age, and she played bass, and we kind of hit it off…we were friends for a while, then we started going out…she was…nice. I really liked her.
So... same interests, same age, you guys were friends first. [He notes the sadness] So what went wrong?
Right. That was…fuck. Lizzz? I wanna say it was Liz. Mostly I remember calling one of her friends an idiot, and I’m pretty sure that’s why she dumped me.
But why did you date her? Not why did she dump you.
…This is gonna sound really sad, but…I was sixteen and she was the first girl who was really nice to me. That’s how I remember it, anyway.
No shame, brother. [He leans back] So she was nice to you. Now what about girlfriend two?
Okay, uh… [There’s no subtle way to put this so he just barrels through.] I just can’t figure out if I wasn’t attracted to them, you know, or if I just have this weird trust hangup related to sex, or both. Talking about Girlfriend #3 won’t be helpful in this, I just realized, nothing about that relationship worked. I don’t know what I was thinking.
[Tendo snaps his fingers] Oi, focus, brothers. Start with one. The first one. No one else, the first one.
Right. That was…fuck. Lizzz? I wanna say it was Liz. Mostly I remember calling one of her friends an idiot, and I’m pretty sure that’s why she dumped me.
But why did you date her? Not why did she dump you.
I’ve been not thinking about it for over sixteen years, dude. That’s the problem. My entire mini-crisis around my sexuality hinges on my memories of my relationship with them. Which I’ve been systematically blocking for a while.
Ahhh that makes sense. Well lets jog your memory. [He sits down in a chair because that’s what Tendos do]
Okay, uh… [There’s no subtle way to put this so he just barrels through.] I just can’t figure out if I wasn’t attracted to them, you know, or if I just have this weird trust hangup related to sex, or both. Talking about Girlfriend #3 won’t be helpful in this, I just realized, nothing about that relationship worked. I don’t know what I was thinking.
[Tendo snaps his fingers] Oi, focus, brothers. Start with one. The first one. No one else, the first one.
Don’t point that thing at me. I used to be able to do this. Used to…like, ten years ago. I haven’t really had the opportunity lately. [He rolls his eyes and sits on the counter.] So, uh, you know those awkward ex-girlfriends that you don’t like thinking about?
It’s called not thinking about it, but go on.
I’ve been not thinking about it for over sixteen years, dude. That’s the problem. My entire mini-crisis around my sexuality hinges on my memories of my relationship with them. Which I’ve been systematically blocking for a while.
Ahhh that makes sense. Well lets jog your memory. [He sits down in a chair because that's what Tendos do]
[Text] k
[Minutes pass. Eventually, there’s the sound of clattering wheels, swearing in German, and an abrupt stop to the wheel noises. When Newt peers into the break room, he’s holding a skateboard.] Paging Mr. Choi?
[Tendo looks up and then down at the skateboard and gestures with a bagel] Why do you have a skateboard, you have terrible balance.
Don’t point that thing at me. I used to be able to do this. Used to…like, ten years ago. I haven’t really had the opportunity lately. [He rolls his eyes and sits on the counter.] So, uh, you know those awkward ex-girlfriends that you don’t like thinking about?
It's called not thinking about it, but go on.
alisonfrommunitions has logged on
[He straightens up at his desk] I would love to, but I’ve got another thirty three lines of code to finish by tomorrows test run. [he reaches out to take her other hand] Though the offer is…a might tempting [he kisses her hand]
[She sighs, frowning slightly] Tendo, these late nights aren’t good for you… [However, her lips twitch up in a soft smile as he kisses her hand. She then moves her hand to cup his cheek.] But, if you really need to stay up…I’ll keep you company.
[He leans into her touch] You don't have to do that, babe. You can go to bed... I won't be much longer.
