i will never escape voltr*n i never will she will never let me i mean its my fault i still follow her but fucking hell dude why didnt it affect u like it did me??
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@taserblade
i will never escape voltr*n i never will she will never let me i mean its my fault i still follow her but fucking hell dude why didnt it affect u like it did me??
everything is falling apart. my bf is gonna leave me if i dont get therapy, my job sucks, my sister still wont rlly talk to me, i havent seen my dad in months. im so tired. i feel like ive fallen off the ladder ive worked so hard to climb up on.
tried to reach out to my sister. got nothing back. she tried to end it a week ago n now she wont talk to anyone.
hot manager is leaving so i have absolutely no idea what im doing at my job anymore. its not like anyones actually teaching me fucking anything when i work mid shifts anyways.
ive completely lost my appetite again.
i am ab to be the worst ive ever been. maybe if im lucky my heart will give out this time around.
god i dont think things could get any worse.
went with my bf to his therapy appointment today and i hated it. the appointment went well, but after he kept wanting to talk therapy with me.
he brought up the company softball tournament last year and told me ab a conversation him n hot manager had ab me and it ruined my day completely. i dont know why. there was a company halloween party tn and i didnt go bc i just couldnt fake being happy for them. i hate how much other people’s opinions and perception of me can affect me. THIS WAS FOREVER AGO!! WHY DO I GIVE A FUUUUCK??
i hate how much i crave male validation. i has the power to absolutely make or break my day.
tomorrow is my 4 yr anniversary with my bf. i have a feeling im gonna ruin it.
been feeling very willing to put myself in bad positions in the possibility i get hurt bc i want the pain without people being mad i did it to myself
i have put myself in such a specific situation and i dont know what to do about it anymore.
one of my twt moots called me thinsp0!! love it sm
i am over the cold, i need summer back!!
i miss wearing tank tops n shorts im so sad rn
my life rlly is like a fuckin smut book, this shit is so fun omg 😆
also, does cum have calories?
finally hit my gw of 100 lbs!! what do i do now tho? maintain?
metal head is ab to get herself fired dude. she just screamed at john cena for no reason, i dont get it. managers cut her for the day n r sending her home.
all he asked was for her to stop throwing tickets on the ground, and she got in his face saying he need to get his own fucking friends.
again, i dont wanna be friends with a teenaged 26 yr old. thats embarrassing.
was having a conversation with john cena and literally in the middle of it, metal head came up and stood hugging me while we continued talking. im not gonna acknowledge u, i know what ur doing.
hot manager just walked in and he looks so fucking good today oh my god he’s wearin glasses n a black long sleeve and his hair is done oh my god he’s so hot. that’s why he’s called hot manager 🙂↕️
went to a hockey game with a friend (who will now be known as mist) today for her bday!!
it was my first hockey game since elementary school, and i honestly had so much fun!! i dont rlly know anything ab hockey, but it seems pretty straight forward. could be how many times ive read the foxhole court. exy is literally a fake sport, but it seems kinda like hockey. maybe its time for a reread.
MAJOR TANGENT!!
omg, talkin ab the foxhole court, god i love that series. i have a music playlist for that series. dude my TRUCK is literally named neil (the main character). i remember reading that book at softball tournaments, praying that my college team would even be a tiny bit like those books. i set myself up. i dont wanna talk ab this anymore.
BACK TO ORIGINAL STORY!!
anyways, all i could think ab the entire time tho were all those smut books ab hockey players (im not immune to the propaganda).
we got margs after the first period, and two were $45?? actual theft. got me decently tipsy, but i have the worlds lowest tolerance so it doesnt take much.
team ended up losing the game, and they played like ass (according to mist, again, i dont know shit ab hockey) so it was kinda a shit bday game for mist :-((
afterwards, we went to a bar n got some drinks while we waited for uber prices to drop. had another wonderful drink, n then hot manager texted us!! he said we arent allowed to go to anymore games, which funnily enough, when me n my sister were younger, we convinced ourselves that if we watched the cowboys they would lose. anyways, it reminded me of that. we joked ab his bday (which i think i know what im getting him now teehee), n then asked for a ride bc uber prices were so fucking high. he was honestly willing to come get us which was so fucking sweet, i love him fr. n then he joked ab me finally getting to go to a sports game this week, and yeah no he isnt wrong. i was happy bf wasnt invited this time.
he told me not to drive home, but bf texted n said he went out drinking with john cena. so i just ended up driving to the bar they were at, n leavin neil there. john cena n a bunch of other friends were there so i ended up havin more drinks :-))
then, omg so fucking weird, this random girl came n sat down with us n said it was her bday n asked us to sing for her?? we did bc we were drunk n why not, n she hung around talkin. after last call we decided to go to waffle house, which i was super excited for bc i had never been. random girl wanted to come so john cena gave her a ride. we all ate, which omg, waffle house is so good. maybe it was bc i was drunk, but the hash browns were actually crispy?? gas. after we ate, john cena offered to give random girl a ride to a homeless shelter.
anyways, that was my night!! very fun, very good time :-))
and dnd session tomorrow at 12!! gotta figure out what food to get.
bf kept asking me to take pics n i told him no bc i dont wanna remember anything ab this trip.
im gonna try n block this all out.
we’re going out for breakfast before we leave tomorrow. im so embarrassed i dont want to go. i hope they have alc there.
he keeps trying to fucking talk to me. i dont want to. leave me alone. here’s the one picture i got before we left.
its just the sunset.