Cold

"You won't see me." Tasha O'Neil, Ghost

[amanitacaplxn]

[tashaoneil]

leon-castellano:

“I’m not” he shook his head as he spoke. It was the truth, he wasn’t upset now, not like he’d been mere minutes ago. But there was a part of him that was slightly disappointed by the way in which their conversation played out. The corners of his lips tugged upwards slightly before a more defined smile settled there. She worried about him losing himself. There was so much Leon had done already that he wasn’t even sure if his mind was even capable of reaching that brink, that sensation of losing onself. He’d never reached such a limit so he wasn’t sure if the limit was there for him at all. “Don’t worry about that” was all he could say, letting his thumb caress her cheek with complete tenderness.

That was one way in which they were different: Tasha saw the fight as one that was done with, while he saw every single opportunity to keep charging forward and defy every law of reality. Neither was right and neither was wrong, it was just the way it was. A gentle hand came to rest against his face and the Tuner leaned against her touch, relishing the feeling now that she was here, keeping it engraved in his memory so he could recall it when she went away again. “Well, maybe everyone makes you cry. But I don’t want to be the cause of more tears” he replied, leaning down to press a few kisses on the side of her face, from the corner of her lips all the way to her cheekbone, erasing the trails of her tears with his kisses. “I’d rather make you smile” he whispered before pressing yet another kiss against her soft skin, this time closer to her earlobe.

He pulled away a little, just enough to be able to look at her as she spoke. There was a spark of hope thanks to her words, thanks to the notion that maybe another way did exist for them to be together, with her alive as well, if they continued to look for it. “Got it. If I discover some other way I’ll ask myself ‘What would Tasha do?’ before bringing it up to you” Leon mentioned with a slight smirk, a hint of humor in his words, not entirely oblivious that her moral compass seemed to be working better than his own. Not that he would know, but comparing the kind of actions he was willing to take to what she was unwilling to do made it pretty obvious. “I guess for now we can just enjoy what we have” the Tuner mentioned, feeling more and more drawn to her as he continued to hold her close. There was no hint of the coldness in her skin as when she arrived. All he felt was the familiar and special kind of warmth that only Tasha possessed “And I’m sure there’s a thing or two I could do to make sure you stay warm”.

He told her not to worry but it was hard. Worry was in her nature and no matter what Leon said it was impossible to stop her from doing so. He held her tightly and Tasha leaned into it wanting treasure each moment they had with one another.  He smiled at the comment she made. “You know I worry about everything.” A soft smiled played across her lips and she let herself release the worry at least for now. “Good, I can’t have you being mad at me. You’re all I’ve got to talk too.” 

She could almost feel him itching for the challenge of bringing her back. Part of wished he could understand just how hopeless it felt to her. It had been years since she made up her mind to give her life up to her brother and she never looked back. He leaned into her touch and Tasha smiled at the feeling of supporting him, it was easy as she borrowed his energy again. “I’m smiling now.” She answered lowing her hand to his chest so she could feel the beat of her heart against her skin. 

She laughed a shook her head at his new saying. “Or maybe we can just talk about it before you rush into anything without me.” Tasha pecked his cheek lightly as he spoke. “If you find another way, we’ll deal with it then.” He pulled her tighter and Tasha felt herself begin to blush at all the affection. “You know that I love you, even though you are a reckless lunatic.” There was affection in each word. Tasha couldn’t help but giggle as he mentioned keeping warm. 

[tashaoneil]

leon-castellano:

There was something in him that naturally wanted to challenge her decision but he understood there was a limit. This wasn’t like some fight he could win and he could only push so far before earning her rejection, her disdain, perhaps even her hatred one day. He just had to respect her decision and learn to be okay with it. Tasha was right, death could not be undone, regardless of how stubbornly he wished to believe there was more that could be done about it. “Okay” he finally conceded, giving a slight nod.

“It’s not that I forget it, I just…” he let out a breath, his shoulders slouching slightly. “This is what I do, Tasha. It’s what I’ve always done” he mentioned, hoping she would understand what he meant. It was in the Tuner’s nature to fight every battle, to want every challenge, and to push forward towards impossibles even if it cost him blood, flesh and bone, and it usually was his own. He’d been wired to be that way millennia ago, and with each new life those old habits sank deeply into every incarnation of him.

We’re already broken, she said, and he couldn’t really say anything to go against that statement. A dead girl and an asshole. Quite the match they were. Broken as they may be, Leon just didn’t want to be the reason to create more cracks in her. “I just don’t want to hurt you” he admitted, letting a hand move up to brush away the tears that left trails down her cheeks. “But just by being me I know I will. I made you cry again” the young man added, closing his eyes for a second as he let his forehead rest against hers. He couldn’t promise her that another discussion like the one they had wouldn’t happen again. He knew better than to promise to go against his own nature.

He pulled away just enough to look at her when she spoke, holding her closer to him as the apology left her lips. “I have you. And whichever way I can have you, that will be enough”. Whatever notion he’d hoped for more would be set aside so he could fully embrace what he did have. Tasha was more than enough, and that was everything for him. “We’ll work with what we have. We’ll make it work this way”. That could be the challenge to conquer here: a Tuner and a ghost making a loving relationship work.

Part of her wished she could say yes, she wished she could allow him to fight reality and morals for their relationship. Maybe if she wasn’t so stubborn she could have everything she ever wanted. Her decision to die had always been set in stone in her mind, now Leon came to challenge it to say he had a way to undo it all. But at what cost? His own soul, someone else’s life. SHe couldn’t bear it even if the rewarded seemed so sweet.  “Please don’t be upset,” She said with a sigh looking into his dark eyes as she spoke. His face held resolution still now. “I can’t let you lose yourself for me.” 

This is what he did he fought what everyone else knew to be fact. If Tasha was honest that is what she loved about him. His unwavering fighting and his need to fix the world to his standards. “I love that you fight, I do,” A soft hand rested on his face as they spoke. “this is just not your fight and it’s was finished years before I met you.” 

A small laugh escaped her lips and she shook her head. How sweet he was being right now but he couldn’t expect to never hurt her feelings. “Leon, I used to cry at commercials. Please don’t take my crying as anything more than a symptom of my emotions.” She looked at him with honesty in her eyes. His forehead rest against hers as they spoke. “It’s just what I do. Everyone makes me cry.”

Looking up at him she nodded in agreement as he said they’d work with what they had. “We can look for other ways, I am not saying we can’t fight for something better.” Lifting her head he stared at him with a soft look in her eyes. “But I won’t do it at the cost of someone else’s life.” 

[tashaoneil]

leon-castellano:

Leon kept his eyes trained on her, feeling fucking powerless do anything at all to sway her opinion. His way of seeing things wasn’t all that complicated: People made choices every day and regardless of how right or wrong those choices could be deemed by others, they just had to own up to them and their consequences. Why attribute meaning to a higher power that could supposedly decide for them? Because of some sense of morality? Frankly, he didn’t know. That was just another reason he never saw eye to eye with some members of his family, particularly his parents. “Well… it’s your choice” he stated simply, feeling somewhat defeated even if he didn’t entirely show it. Tasha had decided and he had to accept that, even if he would have chosen differently in this situation.

Her question had a way of making him feel like he wasn’t standing on solid ground. The Tuner had died more times than he could bother to count, but his experience only encompassed that precisely. Death. Not staying dead. All the young man did was shake his head, conveying his answer like that. He didn’t know what existed in the afterlife when souls ascended. So if Tasha ever went there, he wouldn’t be able to follow. The ancient entity that was him would choose a new incarnation after his death as had always happened.

He had heard it countless times. ‘The power of love’. Tasha spoke of how such a feeling was strenght, but he was learning that love was one way in which people could truly hurt those closer to them. And that notion didn’t spark in his mind because she was hurting him in some way, Leon thought of it because of how sad and angry he’d made her just then. Apparently love didn’t just brought a sense of unfamiliar weakness, it also made him more reckless, more stubborn and more selfish than he already was. All because of how much he wanted her. “Really? Because right now it feels like we could break each other at any moment” he mentioned, worried that one day they might just do that.

The Tuner looked visibly puzzled by her next words and the way in which Tasha rose her hand for him to take. As underserving of taking her hand as he felt in that moment, Leon didn’t reject it. He walked towards the bed again, taking her hand in his with a tight but gentle grip. His eyes stayed on hers as she sat down, letting his other hand wrap around her, resting at the small of her back. “Lo siento, cariño” he spoke with some hesitancy, feeling he might still be rejected at any moment now that Tasha had seen some of the ugly parts of the real him. And as unapologetic as Leon Castellano could be, it wasn’t that hard for him to say it again as he allowed for the distance between them to lessen “I’m sorry”.

A small smile twitched on her lips. “It is,” She said unwaveringly in her idea that she could not take the life from someone who still lived. Tasha could see the disappointment this brought him and she wished it could be different. He wanted so desperately to be with her that he would sacrifice anything but she couldn’t allow that. Tasha wanted a life, a chance with Leon but she had to keep him from losing himself in this mess they’d made together. “Bodies don’t come without souls Leon.” She wouldn’t let him given into the darkness that he desired to take. “You can’t take my death back. I did this for Aiden and I don’t regret it.” She looked up at him softly. 

His eyes reflected confusion when she asked if he had been dead. He couldn’t answer and Tasha didn’t expect him to. Of course, he hadn’t, the way he spoke every day made that so clear. The distance she felt was something Leon had never known. “I told you once I was lost and sometimes I think you forget that.” Leon had to stop trying to save her from what had already happened. 

“Leon, love,” She shook her head wishing she could be more like him more hopeful. “We’re already broken.” Tasha’s eyes studied him gently. Her voice was quiet as she spoke. “You’re in love with a dead girl.” There was no comfort in her words just honesty. There was no future here no hope, just feeling. Yet neither could walk away, they were too attached now to surrender. Even if staying close meant more broken pieces. 

“Don’t be sorry,” She said as he came closer holding her once more. These small comforts were all they had. “it’s natural to want things, to want normal things.” Tasha kissed his hand softly as closed the distance between them. “I’m sorry I can’t give you that is all.” 

[tashaoneil]

leon-castellano:

“The who does? God?” he asked, the last word like a foreign poison in his tongue. It went without saying that he did not believe that such a concept as ‘God’ existed. Or any other form of deity, for that matter. Fate, life and death weren’t controlled by anyone, no supreme being with a higher purpose and a grand plan. It was all just fucking chance. At least that was the way he viewed things after his various lives on this planet. “That soul inside Asher’s body, he called him his friend, you know. Maybe they didn’t do something wrong” he mentioned, offering a different perspective. He didn’t know that Asher guy enough to know the whole story of the other soul inhabiting his body. But the way in which the guy spoke of his friend made it sound like their relationship was positive in some way, not parasitical like regular possessions. It was unusual, but Leon didn’t judge it as wrong. So then why would it be wrong in Tasha’s case? He just couldn’t see it, but clearly the two of them operated on different levels of morality and ethics.

“Well, I’ve died quite a few times…” he muttered, taking another drag from his cigarette. He recalled each death from each of his previous lives. Leon was just being stubborn, really. He had died, yes, but the truth was the Tuner didn’t know what it was to be dead. He didn’t stay dead, he never became a ghost, that ancient entity within him just found a new incarnation after his death. Tasha had said more than once that she would ruin him, or that she had ruined him already and the young man just couldn’t comprehend those words. How could being in love mean he was ruined? But it triggered him even more to hear her call him weak, of all things. After all, he was a being that had spent all of his long existence fighting, surpassing some of the greatest challenges in the history of humanity, being as competitive as any entity could ever be. The Tuner had never been weak… but maybe, just maybe, he was now. After the initial flare of anger at such thought, the realization of what that truly meant dawned on him like a ton of bricks. “I guess there’s a reason I never loved before” he spoke with seriousness such an admission entailed. The Tuner had never loved anyone in millennia… until her. He had never faced the possibility of the vulnerability that came with love until now. There was something extraordinary and even somewhat frightening about it.

For a while there he’d been able to look past the fact that he’d made her cry, being laser focused on the topic he brought forth and nothing else, but once she spoke of her death those tears became painfully evident for him. Those tears were his fault and he looked down, much too aware of the sense of guilt that washed over him. He put out his cigarette, pressing it to the ashtray by his nightstand. “You’re in love with an asshole” he spoke in a low tone, sounding calmer now than he did before. It was the truth, though. Unluckily for Tasha, she had fallen in love with an emotionally dysfunctional, selfish idiot.

“I don’t know who gets to decided Leon, but I know that it isn’t me.” A tired tone in her voice. Right now it felt like they were miles apart, how had it only been moments ago they were wrapped in each other’s arms. This lack of understanding between them was becoming more clear with each word they spoke now. He spoke of God and Tasha no longer knew what she believed, she’d been a good person if there was a god surely they would have taken her in at her death. “I’ve only got you and Aiden, perhaps if I had a friend willing to take me in then this would be different.” She’d meet Asher before herself but knew little about his condition. “Please don’t think that I don’t want to be alive with you, I wish there was a way but stealing a living person’s body isn’t something I feel comfortable doing. I died on my own terms and everyone deserves that at least.” 

The guilt of letting him fall for her ate away at her insides. This had been all her fault she should have known better. There was a pain in his eyes and Tasha felt responsible. “You’ve died but have you been dead?” She asked truly unsure of the answer. Leon’s body was strong enough to face death and come back from the brink but he didn’t know the feeling she had now. Of belonging but never being whole. Tasha didn’t break his gaze but her heart broke as he spoke his next work. “Love doesn’t make you weak Leon,” Her voice was stern. “it’s a whole different kind of strong.” A sad smile crept across her lips as she thought of her younger brother. How dearly she loved, how strong she’d been. Tasha had made the impossible happen with her love.

Tasha wiped the tears off of her face as Leon seemed to realize just how upset he’d made her. Looking up from the bed she didn’t argue with that statement. “If you aren’t going to hold me then I am not going to keep this form.” Holding her hand out she waited for him to come back to her. 

[tashaoneil]

leon-castellano:

To someone with a moral compass more directed towards all things good and righteous, Tasha’s words would have sounded like a valid point. Not to him, though. “Not everyone alive deserves to live. And not everyone dead deserved to die” he stated back, unflinching. He genuinely believed what he was saying. There were enough shitty people in the world, a great porcentage of them living in this goddamn city. Surely someone out there did not deserve to keep breathing, to have their heart continue to pump blood through their body while someone like Tasha was dead. Life and death were hardly fair, but people like him, Tuners, could twist fate a little and Leon had never had any qualms about it. Hell, his number one hobby was exorcising phantoms out of people’s bodies and it never mattered much to him whether the host body lived or died in the process. He was no stranger to playing judge and executioner. For her he would do it without thinking twice.

When she said she should leave Leon got up from the bed, exasperated. He began moving, pacing, needing the motion to process things. He was never good at staying still for too long but with her that became easy. The calm and the stillness weren’t unnerving, they were comforting. But that was gone now. He reached out to his nightstand for a cigarette, needing his little vice as a way to occupy himself with something. “It’s always the same, isn’t it?” he asked without looking at her, slipping the cigarette to his lips and grabbing his lighter. “The moment things get difficult, you have to leave, don’t you? The moment you start feeling even a little uncomfortable about what we’re talking, it’s time for you to go. What are you so afraid of?”.

She was backing away and Leon was just becoming more and more determined to keep charging forward, without looking around, without thinking, as was his way. “It’s a choice, Tasha” the words left his lips accompanied by a puff of smoke from the drag he took from the cigarette. “I don’t know, maybe that’s why you keep vanishing, because you always choose to leave even when in moments like this you can choose to stay. It’s like you’ve let it become second nature for you, like it’s stronger than whatever it is that makes you want to come back”.

“You don’t get to pick that,” She said harshly matching his tone. Maybe Tasha hadn’t fully accepted being dead but Leon seemed in total denial of it. He stood and she sat up straighter on the bed, not stepping to him but holding her ground. “you don’t get to use me as an excuse to hurt the world.” There were tears in her eyes but her voice didn’t shake. “I died before I knew you, it was  never your responsibility never yours at all Leon.” Tasha wasn’t sure where this was coming from but if he wanted to throw this at her she wouldn’t allow him to go in without hearing her out. “I love you Leon, more than I’ve ever loved anyone that doesn’t change what’s right. Death is above me and you can’t change that.” 

His next words made her recoil, she stared at him shocked that he would take it that far. “Maybe being dead isn’t as easy as you seem to think it is.” Leon didn’t know, he often acted as if he did but he didn’t. He passed around the room filling with range and Tasha emotions were beginning to match his. “I was stupid to think you’d understand, I have to go because I’m dead and I’ve already ruined you!” Tasha didn’t remember the last time she raised her voice like this. “I told you to send me away that I’d ruin your life and now here we are! So maybe I’m not the weak one!” 

“I did choose to vanish, I don’t think you understand what my death meant.” Tasha was shaking now. “That day in the woods with Aiden!” Tasha held his gaze angry tears burning in her eyes. “he was bleeding in my arms and I choose.” Tasha wasn’t sure she’d ever told Leon that before. “My brother was in far worse shape than I was after that Phantom, but I gave my life to him.”

[tashaoneil]

leon-castellano:

A playful grin appeared on his lips after Tasha’s statement, but the smile didn’t linger too long. Why did she sound so reluctant to even talk about this matter? She was so readily dismissing everything, saying he sounded like a madman speaking of impossible things. They lived in a world where ghosts and phantoms roamed and the Earth and where eternal beings lived inside bodies like his own, for fuck’s sake. “Listen to me” he insisted, keeping his gaze settled on her as his thumbs brushed her cheeks slowly “I know for a fact because I met a guy who had the soul of a dead man in him. Somehow it worked, it wasn’t like anything I’ve seen before. It wasn’t like a possession. One soul was dormant and the other one was in control of the body, living a regular life here”. It wasn’t quite like returning someone from the dead, which made it all the better. It was just living, though at the cost of one soul being nearly nonexistent while the other thrived.

Her expression told him everything he needed to know about that grand idea of his. She was rejecting it fully without even letting him tell her all about it. His hands dropped from the sides of her face and he just looked down for a moment. There was silence between the two. Leon cursed himself mentally for ruining the lovely moment they were having before he brought this up. But he had to. “We could have a life together, Tasha” the Tuner mentioned in a lower tone, letting his fingers brush over her hand briefly and then moving his hand back. “I was okay with these fleeting moments with you before I knew we could have more. Now that I know it’s possible, I… I want that, Tasha. I want that life with you”. Was it selfish of him? Most definitely it was. But he couldn’t just fool his heart into not wanting what it yearned for: Her. 

Looking at his face she could see just how serious he was as they spoke. What on earth was he going on about? Her inhabiting someone’s body. How could he know for a fact that it was possible? How could he know if she was able to take hold of someone else that way. “I am listening to Leon,” She said maintaining the distance between them still shocked by how this conversation had turned. “Even if it were something I could do, how could you ask me to suppress someone else? It would be their body, not mine. No one deserves to have their life cut short.” She sat up straight up now sure of herself. 

Her heart broke when he mentioned a life together. Of course, she was desperate for a life together. The selfish part of her wanted nothing more than that. The way he wanted it filled her with guilt again. “Leon, please don’t say that.” Tears rolled down her cheek now as he spoke. “I should leave, every day I stay here I’m hurting you more.” Tasha got closer to him now. “I know you don’t see it that way but it’s true. I think it’s time for me to go.”

[tashaoneil]

leon-castellano:

The energy that had been poured into the healing of his wounded hand was instead focused now on making up for what Tasha was borrowing from him. He didn’t mind, to be honest. That special Tuner ability of his allowed for it to be like a cyclic flow of energy: what she took he was able to replace, taking that slight damage and turning it into new strength. He didn’t feel a thing, or if he did he was more distracted with the presence of his lovely ghost and the blissful feeling of getting to sense her lips against his.

“I usually wait for no one but you’re special like that” the young man spoke with humor in his voice. In spite of the playful statement, there was truth to it. Everything about this bond between them was different from all previous relationships Leon had in the past, in this life or those that he had before. He did things differently with Tasha, his reactions to her were new and contrasted greatly with his usual detachment and callousness to others.

“What? No, I don’t want to sleep”. It was too damn late, most people in the city were surely asleep at such an hour but Leon did not feel even a little tired. Like hell he’d waste this time with her by being asleep. “I’m not saying that because I’m tired, Tasha. I’m saying it because I know for a fact that it can be done. I met someone who did it” he spoke as he let both his hands cup her face, looking at her intently as what he said dawned on her. “We could do that. It’s definitely worth a shot”. Stubborn as he was and determined to conquer impossible challenges, it was clear in his eyes that he was dead set on attempting such a feat.

She would never understand why he’d picked her. Of all the possibilities someone like him was entitled to so much more than Tasha could offer.  A long life, happiness, growing old together, marriage, children, everything normal people dreamed of. Tasha loved him so much she wished for him a normal life, something she could never give.  She traced the line of his jaw down to his neck before letting her hand fall to his chest. Tasha hadn’t been aware enough to miss him but she could feel his need for her in each touch. Knowing he’d suffered because of her broke her heart. 

“You’re like my solar panel.” She said with a small laugh still holding him tightly as if she might disappear again at any moment. The color returned to her face and she was certain it was easier for Leon to look at her this way. He never complained about her natural form but Tasha knew it wasn’t pleasant. 

“Leon you are talking crazy,” She said sitting bit and letting a bit of space come between them. “you know for a fact? Love, do you hear yourself?” He was breaking her heart all over again. Tasha should have stayed away. Each time she came back it became harder for Leon to let her go. “Did what? Returned someone from the dead? Please, I don’t want to do this.” 

[tashaoneil]

leon-castellano:

Tasha’s presence alone was warm and bright for him, but it did not escape his notice how cold her skin felt to the touch when he first found her laying on his apartment’s floor. In silence he continued to hold her close, finding to his relief that the iciness of her skin seemed to gradually give way to a somewhat more normal temperature in her body. He had no idea if that slight change was her own doing or if it had anything to do with their closeness, with his arms wrapped around her. Either way, the Tuner was not letting go.

Her apology was met with a shake of his head. That wasn’t something for which she had to say she was sorry. As she sat up he continued to hold her close with one arm, while his other hand lifted to brush a few strands of hair behind her ear if only to brush his fingers against her skin and let his hand settle at the side of her neck. “You’re stronger than you look” he whispered after she told him she didn’t give up, saying the same words he had in a past exchange between them. Then, he just leaned down, finding her lips to give her a gentle but lasting kiss. Leon had been yearning for her lips against his, fearing that perhaps he might not get to kiss her ever again. He relished this moment as if it could be their last kiss, but he was determined to not let it be so.

As their lips parted he stayed close, making sure to feel her close to him to know that this wasn’t some dream of his, that she was truly here now. His eyes stayed on hers, and there was something loving but fiercely determined in the way he looked at her. “You don’t have to go anymore, Tasha. That feeling of being pulled and kept away by some strange force… it can end. You could stay here in this world for good. Alive” he began, his tone serious but with a hopeful undertone. Their time together was like a ticking bomb, at any time it could go off and she might drift away for who knows how long. Leon was not willing to keep losing her when he knew there was a way for them to stay together.

There she was laying against his chest borrowing his energy to keep herself present. Studying his face she couldn’t help but smile as they lay there entwined into each other bodies. He kissed her and she leaned towards him as they held each other close. Tasha knew she was borrowing some of his soul’s energy to make herself a little warmer to fade the blood for her clothes and the touch of death from her features. They could pretend for a while longer now that she was back. 

“Only because I knew you were waiting for me.” Tasha had no memory of the time she was gone, the same as every other time. The same way she borrowed Leon’s energy something much larger would take her’s. It had never been a problem until now. Aiden hadn’t noticed, he’d never even seen her, to begin with. Now Leon counted the moments she was away and worried about her well being. Tasha wasn’t sure what she should do to help him. How could she fight this? 

His next statement made her face twist with confusion. “Maybe you need some sleep.” She said softly, suddenly feeling guilty for borrowing from him. Perhaps she had taken too much. He was clearly delirious. “I can stay with you, just close your eyes.” She pressed a gentle kiss on his cheek then on his lips. “I’m sorry I worried you, rest now darling.” Tasha pulled herself closer to him as she spoke. Hoping he would take her advice. 

[tashaoneil]

leon-castellano:

Even in such a frail state Tasha still found energy to try and cling to this world when letting go would have been so much easier. She still found energy to give soft signs of affection for him and to tell him she loved him.  “Y yo a ti, cariño” the Tuner spoke back in a gentle way, more certain of this than of anything else. If she was capable of bringing out this side of him, a side he never knew he had even in his past lives, then it surely had to be love. Leon didn’t doubt at all that his lovely ghost was the sole owner of his heart now.

“Yes…” his tone shifted somewhat as she replied to her question. His concern grew to some degree, unsure of how grave the situation was considering that Tasha did not even know she had been gone for such a long period of time “It’s been a while, over two weeks”. Leon sat on the bed, positioned himself so that she could lean against his chest as his arms continued to hold her close, tenderly and protectively. “I thought maybe a phantom had gotten to you” he dared voice out the fear that had been haunting him for the past days. It was something to be worried about that it was all due to her condition as a ghost lingering in this world.

He sat on the bed with her and she curled against his chest. His heart was beating so fast and Tasha wished she could comfort him more. When he’d first said he loved her Tasha tried to run now she was desperate to hang on the idea of being away from him and Aiden was more frightening that whatever this feeling was. Tasha stayed silent there for a while, breathing in his energy, keeping herself tied to the earth around them.  Falling in love with a human was selfish, any other ghost would have had more sense. Yet here Tasha was laying with the turning, clinging desperately to his soul energy. 

“Two weeks, I’m sorry.” She looks up at him as he spoke to her. The guilt began to build in her stomach. When she’d disappeared before it hadn’t really affected anyone, Aiden still hadn’t seen her. Leon was why she’d fought so hard to get back.  She stayed close to him. “I don’t know where I got when it happens, it feels like something had me.” Feeling a little more stable she sat up a bit to look him in the eye. Still leaning against him, she gave a small smile. “I didn’t give up this time.” 

[tashaoneil]

leon-castellano:

“Tasha” the Tuner spoke again, panic rising in his tone as he quickly approached her. Whatever pain that still lingered in his healing hand was soon forgotten at the mere sight of the ghost on the floor of his apartment, silent and unmoving. He knelt by her side, hesitating for a moment whether he should touch her or not, afraid that mere contact could cause her more pain than what she was evidently feeling already. He finally gave in when she spoke, letting his hands touch her shoulders, sliding to her back to help her sit. “It’s okay, don’t move. I can do it for you, I can carry you”.

There were a thousand questions running through his mind, things he wanted to ask her to know what had happened to her, and a faint sensation of anger nestled in him that wished to lash out to whoever had done this to her if there had indeed been a perpetrator. It if had been a phantom, well… that thing could kiss its sorry ass goodbye soon, he would make sure of that. He managed to keep that brewing anger and his confusion aside, his main concern being Tasha right now. God, it broke him to see her this fragile and then the next words that escaped her disarmed him completely. Leon pressed a kiss to her forehead once, twice, then to her cheek and his lips lingered there “I missed you” he whispered. His arms wrapped around her body then to pick her up, keeping her close to him as he carried her to his bedroom. It was better to lay on a bed than on the floor, after all. 

She kept herself in a physical form with all of her might, some kind of current pulled her. Yet Leon’s gravity was more powerful than nature right now. Leon leaned her up with no help from her in the movement. The feeling of kisses on her face eased the pain. If she had been stronger she’d have asked for more. The sound of his voice and his presence would have to be enough for now. He lifted her and Tasha felt her head fall on his shoulder. He was so warm and she couldn't help but smile when his arms were wrapped around her. She opened her eyes to take in his face. Turning she pressed a small kiss onto his shoulder as he held her. 

“Te Amo." She said softly recalling him saying the words to her but time felt distant and Tasha knew by the look on his face that she must have disappeared again. He said he'd missed her but Tasha couldn't recall how much time she'd missed. "Was I gone long?" She studied Leon's face still in his arms. Tasha felt stronger as Leon held her. Tasha recalled the last few times she disappeared, it was tiring to come back but this time was much harder for her. "It's getting worse, it's never been this hard to come back."

[leon-castellano-blog]

@tashaoneil

There was blood on his hand. His own blood. The nasty gash acros his palm was beginning to heal, but phantom-inflicted wounds took longer than regular injuries. It was late, or too early in the morning depending on the point of view. Tonight he had been the one to close the gym and as he was locking the door he sensed it, like a predator detecting the faint smell of blood, ready to hunt. Leon Castellano could never turn his back when a phantom lurked close by, needing the thrill that came with exorcising. These days it was the least he could do to keep his mind busy, to keep his thoughts from going back to her. To the fact that she was gone. Of course, he refused to believe she was gone gone.

It had been over two weeks, and even though Leon was not too good at acknowledging his own emotions, he was tiptoeing over a line of desperation and concern. The only way he knew how to process something like that was through aggression and so he focused all he had in ripping apart phantoms, in forcefully cast them away from this world. Which surprisingly was not just a shitty coping mechanism from the Tuner, it was also the only way he knew of dragging information from those creatures, to learn if one of them had done something to Tasha. A wandering ghost in a place like Port Ashbourne was a dangerous thing, a city infested with phantoms that could claim her and turn her into one of them.

The acid-like sting in his hand was gradually lessening and he could see the wound was starting to close. He closed the door of his apartment with the heel of his shoe and tossed aside his gym bag to the floor, his keys over the kitchen counter. He quickly turned towards the messy living room, sensing a warm presence envelop his whole body, like the energy of her welcoming him home. For the first time in weeks, the Tuner felt something that didn’t threaten to destroy him from within and cause him to destroy everything around him. His eyes widened a little, taken aback but relieved. “Tasha” he spoke, her name leaving his lips with reverence and a very clear sense of love. 

[tashaoneil]

She felt cold drifting, she did try to fight it at first. But soon she couldn’t recall what she had been struggling for. Until something pulled her back. Tasha had been nothing for days now and reforming there on Leon’s floor commanded all of her energy. Aiden’s blood-soaked her clothes and her body shook from the frostbite left from the night she died. Trying to be human after weeks of disappearing was like trying to speak another language.  There was no answer when he called her name. Tasha was only just remembering that she might have one, that might have been in this room before. Recalling that maybe she knew the man who stood over her. 

She opened her mouth to answer but only a small whimper escaped. Tasha was becoming more solid and so were her memories. Lifting her shaking hand to her face she tried to hide the pain and exhaustion she was feeling. How long had she been gone this time? It felt worse like something had been drained from her. “I-I’m sorry I c-can’t move yet.” It was a struggled to get those words out her hand still covering her face. This physical form was heavy and sitting up with it seemed impossible.

“I-I could do m-more if I wasn’t-t soild, but I missed the feeling of your h-hands.” She smiled up at him weakly just longing for the feeling of his arms around her. Tasha could see the fear in his eyes now.

[magda-lennah]

[tashaoneil]

We Didn’t Start the Fire//Teo&Tasha

Hours and hours of her time had been spent fighting these fires, yet it seemed of little use. Leon had been out trying to challenge the flames as well yet nothing seemed to keep the flames from starting up again. Even worse Tasha could feel the heat now. Being dead she thought herself immune to the flames yet now closer to the docks, Tasha could feel them hiss against her freezing form.

Standing along the flames Tasha recognized the other spirit standing there. “What are you doing here?” She asked wondering what the other spirit was doing this deep in the fires. Perhaps he was trying to help as well. 

@teo-silvestri

[netvoenutro]

[tashaoneil]

miguel-soto:

“It’s hard, I know. The numbers of those dying has skyrocketed since it first began. I went over a couple of times to make sure she was all right as well. I hope your brother manages to avoid all of this chaos.” It seemed that Tasha really had come into her powers. She was like some ghost superhero now, and the papers had begun to notice too. “Says the ghost who never takes a break from worrying about everyone else other than herself. Just because you are no longer living doesn’t excuse you from taking a personal day.” Miguel mused aloud, sending Tasha a light smile as she sat down next to him. They’d become good friends over the last couple of months, which was not something he could have guessed would happen. “Yeah, they are. Maybe you’re not a famous writer- well not yet anyway, but you’re getting attention like one.” 

“It seems like no matter what I do there are more fires,” She said looking back at him. It was strange even with all of her efforts there didn’t seem to be any quelling the fires that were engulfing the town.  Looking at Miguel smiling she admired his dedication. Wishing once again that she could do more. “I don’t operate like you do anymore.” Tasha appreciated his concern but she had been stronger than ever recently. Perhaps it was spending so much time with a turner, or maybe it was just that she had finally found a little happiness. “I’ve been really strong lately, no fading at all.” She reported to her friend. “I don’t need attention I’m just glad that I can help in some way.” 

[tashaoneil]

teo-silvestri:

Teo pauses for a second at the obvious statement. “…he is.” The appearance of Zach’s incarnations never mattered to him. He was first and foremost bound to their soul. But Pablo being attractive is quite inconvenient for him. It means he has to scare off more unworthy people pursuing Pablo. “I have since I died, although I’m not certain if it is common. I’m inclined to believe it depends on how strong you are bound to them” he hasn’t met another ghost like him, repeating lifetimes with their unfinished business. Even if there were others like him, it was unlikely that they would end up in the same place as him. Souls are reincarnated all over the world. “He was unable to until recently.” He doesn’t go through the detail of his history of haunting. “I assume yours can’t?” He asks since mediums are not as common as ghosts. In his case, Pablo was the first reincarnation that is a medium. 

“That is amazing,” She said looking up at Teo with a small smile. How souls work was fascinating, there was no two that seemed to react the same. Tasha wondered what it must feel like to be bound to some who would relearn you each time they were born. “You’re like his guardian angel.” Leon had referred to her that way but Teo was the literal translation of such a title.  At the question, Tasha kept the smile on her face. Shaking her head lightly. “No, he can’t see me. Sometimes I think he hears me, but never for long.” Tasha shrugged her shoulders a little. “He didn’t take my death well, he hasn’t faced it really.”