DISCLAIMER: I pulled this writing out of my asscrack, I mean my google docs drafts. I just like it for what it is for some narcissistic reason and want to leave it up so maybe I'll remember it and write something tangible about it but you know. Probably not. If someone else manages to read this I hope you see my vision mwehehehe
If Caine was just some demented, mentally ill, psychotic human, at least someone could armchair diagnose him and make everyone’s existence here less unbearable. But, Jax supposes, the fact that he’s instead a horrifyingly unpredictable AI that makes their existence so unbearable in the first place is just one of the immutable facts of… current life.
When characters are filled with overwhelmingly complex emotions it becomes too much for their programmed cartoon bodies and escapes them as digital errors or whatever the hell. Usually this just ends leading to a slow abstraction but sometimes there are other symptoms, ones that come with feeling a specific type of emotion - love
These dynamics are supposed to be superficial and for entertainment purposes, for whoever the hell they were entertaining. Tv shows and movies might boast complex and intricate dynamics but nothing will ever match up to the infinitely complex perpetual awkwardness of real life itself. If these characters think too hard about themselves or each other, the program simply can’t handle it.
Theres nothing to love about anyone here. Love is formed by developing a fondness, an admiration for the way that a person chooses to navigate life. And to be honest as much as jax has settled in he can’t consider this a life. He doesn’t even consider it existence. He doesn’t feel like he exists.
And yet ragatha tries so hard to make it seem like this is life, like this could be a home, like every stupid idiot here could mean something to each other. Why does she.do that. It’s simply for her own benefit - that’s what shes doing to keep herself from abstracting, acting like this is a life that she has a purpose for. It’s everyone for themselves here. Even the saintly ragatha has selfish motives.
God, fuck he can’t think too hard about it. Everything about her disgusts him. That stupid smile, her stupid words, the fact that no matter what he does to provoke her she lends him the same stupid fucking superficial kindness that she’s offered to everyone else in this circus. It’s like nothing he’s said or done has gotten to her. So then why, why does he have to be the one pulling roots of flowers out of his throat??
This is exhausting. Jax doesn't want to do it anymore. Jax doesn't know what he wants to do. What a stupid fucking name, jax. It’s not even his name. Or maybe it is since he’s had to live— exist with it for so long. The problem is that subconsciously he’s still anticipating a day where he wont be in this malleable cartoon body, because for some reason getting sucked into a computer program didn’t mean he’d lose all of the complex human emotions. He hopes he can forget about it. He hopes abstraction is painless.
From established relationship to coworkers to halloween au based fanfiction (???) and fluff to jealousy to angst, all the akanene scenarios
since i've moved on from tbhk and akanene a while ago i decided to finally publicize all of my eternal wips on wattpad so that at least one other person could get some enjoyment/inspiration out of them! the table of contents is in the first chapter, although i haven't finished releasing everything on it quite yet
Honestly, yes, but not as much and in the same way as I used to? I like them in the sense that I think they look impeccably good together and I'm obsessed with the idea of them in a relationship, but I'm also aware that b/c of how the plot has handled their dynamic it's kind of hard to picture any romantic chemistry between them, so I get the most joy out of trying to figure out a way to pair them up in a believable manner - like puzzle pieces, I guess?? I have a lot of short oneshot ideas about them but I've just never gotten to writing them bc of how life has gotten in the way 🥲🥲I hope one day I can make atleast one thing for them I think they have a lot of untapped potential
As much as I'd wanted to kill and die for a romantic dynamic between characters like tam and sophie for the past well 7 years (jeez) of being aware of KOTLC, I no longer have any interest in indulging in the lore or the minor details of the books anymore, and thus these fanfics will never see the light of day - at least finished... I'm posting these just so that I don't have to feel that slight pang of guilt.
The scenes are really out of context and lack proper transitions, which is hella embarassing and why I don't actually expect anyone to find that much enjoyment in these tiny things. But I'll add context to all of them too just in case. The longest WIPs will go first, and then the rest are just short paragraphs.
Based in Lodestar, the moment before Sophie manifests as an Enhancer and she goes to the Hall of Mirrors(?). Biana and Tam have a one-on-one while they're working on it together(mostly stopped working on this because I was worried about the subtle inaccuracies if they do exist)
“So do your group’s recreational activities always have to do with working towards your intense missions?” Tam asked as they made their way up to the Hall of Mirrors.
“No, but that’s kinda all we need to be using our time to do, nowadays,” Biana said. “...I guess we had a slumber party a few weeks ago, but even that was to look through Alvar’s scrolls. Oh, and to keep us safe from the potential attack on Havenfield.”
“Sheesh.” None of them ever seemed to catch a break. Luckily, he and Linh were used to that kind of thing.
“But anyway, how’s life back in the Lost Cities going for you and Linh?” Biana asked Tam.
They weren’t really ‘back’ in the Lost Cities. After all, they’d been living in one of the Black Swan’s hideouts and continuing to attend Exillium, even when they got to spend two days at Foxfire for it. But, overall…
“Peaceful.”
It wasn’t like things were bad in Alluveterre–not at all, when they had the companionship of the gnomes. But he sure did like sleeping in a cozy bed with soundproof walls again.
“That’s good to hear,” Biana exhaled, flashing one of those signature grins that had Tam looking away. He’d been quietly disparaging Sophie for her crazy love life, but could he really blame her when he seemed to fall just as victim to the charms of the Vackers?
“Sorry that I brought you back here so suddenly, by the way,” she apologized. I just had the thought–since the Lodestar mirror has to do with light, and… Alvar was here to use it, then maybe it involves some Vanisher trick.”
“Don’t worry about it. I was actually considering that, too.”
She smiled at him in relief.
“Sophie probably would’ve wanted to come with, but to be fair, I think she needs the break, anyway. Teach her to rely on her friends, show her that we can be useful, too, and all…”
She seemed to be mumbling her inner thoughts out loud, but it did have Tam thinking. He knew Sophie was The Moonlark and all, but did she really feel the need to be involved in everything? That sort of obligation must’ve been incredibly burdensome.
“What’s she doing?”
“Sleeping.” She seemed to realize that she should probably elaborate, and added, “I don’t know if I should be the one to tell you, but Mr. Forkle just triggered another ability in her, so she’s probably out cold from the exhaustion of it.”
“Another ability?” Tam remembered the plethora of pins he’d seen on her Exillium cloak and shuddered. Did she really need it?
“I know,” Biana laughed at his expression. “But I think it’ll be really useful if we were to ever face off the Neverseen again.”
He was about to ask her what exactly she’d triggered, but they were already standing in front of the Lodestar mirror.
“Here it is,” he flippantly announced. He paused, letting Biana take a few moments to inspect the mirror, secretly hoping something would click in her head, but she only looked back at him blankly.
“...There’s really nothing unusual about it.”
He sighed sympathetically. “Yeah, it’s been the same on my end, too.”
She took a few more seconds to scrutinize it more closely, blinking in and out of view as she did. “...If anything, the pure light makes it easier to pass through, but that doesn’t suggest anything about how they might’ve utilized it…”
He was half-expecting Biana to accept her failed hypothesis and call this impromptu investigation a day, but she continued to stand in place.
“Do you have any other ideas?” Tam asked her.
“No,” Biana admitted, “But I’m sure this mirror is important to whatever the Neverseen had done here. Give me time to think about it a little harder.”
“Of course.” He wasn’t completely confident in Biana’s claim, but it felt nice to be working with someone else over the matter, so he decided to put his trust in her for the day. As the two of them stood in complete silence, Tam decided to examine the vast space of the Silver Tower.
He didn’t have the time or the desire to think about it before, but it was some of the most incredible elvin architecture he’d ever seen. There was a little bit of irony in how he’d gone from attending three years at the run-down Exillium to being inside one of Foxfire’s revered towers. The sliver of a chance that he and Linh could come back to this school and attend classes within this very building gave him a flurry of mixed emotions.
But then again… considering the current circumstances, it was still hard to envision a future of him and his sister attending Foxfire again like normal students.
(The conversation transitions to Keefe's betrayal)
"I want to believe in him," Biana whispered. "I've known him for years, and I'm sure whatever the Neverseen's goal is will never convince him to turn over to them."
"I don't think that's what the problem is, though," Tam argued. "I can tell he's not the type to want to cross lines, but if he's so in over his head about this plan of his that he can't tell not to cross them, what then?"
She was silent.
"...I don't know. But for as long as Sophie is willing to put her faith in him, I am too."
That Sophie. Tam grumbled, "Have you ever wondered if Sophie hasn't given up on him for another, unrelated reason?"
Biana, at first, glared at him like she had no idea what he could possibly be talking about. Then she sighed, and said, "Tam, I know you haven't been here long, but I think you misunderstand something."
She turned away from the mirror and crossed her arms. "Sophie might not be as smart about boys as I like, but that just means she'd never let anything that silly cloud her judgement. She's just a genuinely trusting person, and she believes in anyone willing to be vulnerable in front of her."
Tam didn't doubt that for a second - after all, she was the first person to not shy away at Linh's powers, Tam's shadows, or the fact that they were twins. It left a lasting impression on the both of them - especially when she'd stood up for them in front of their mother and father.
"But still," Tam countered, "What does that have to do with my point?"
"I'm saying that her faith in Keefe isn't as misguided as you think it is," Biana deadpanned. "Anyway, why are you so adamant about this topic? It's not like her will to believe in Keefe has anything to do with you. If anything, she probably wants to punch him the most out of anyone."
BIana was right - why was he getting so worked up over this? He let out a defeated sigh, to Biana's amusement.
"You know, Tam," Biana grinned, "if there's anything you have to say about Sophie, you can tell me."
He sharply turned his head. "What?"
She held up her pinky finger.
"She's my bestie, I can tell you anything about her. Oh, trust me, though, I'll keep this a gooooood secret. Even from her."
"No. Wait, what? No! What are you--?" He turned into a stammering mess, partially hoping that his bangs would cover the look on his face.
Biana teased, "Oh, c'mon. I thought you were at least less oblivious than Fitz. Or maybe the topic of romance just embarasses you in general. Softie."
At the mention of her brother's name, Tam finally came back to his senses. He coughed.
"No way. I'm not associated with that little fanclub of hers at all. And I don't want to be."
Biana sighed. "Okay, fine, I get where you're coming from. But," she placed a hand on her hip, "you have to admit you're just as weird as those three."
Well, he didn't want to.
Based in Flashback, when Sophie and Fitz are bedridden after Umber(?)'s attacks
(Elwin told Tam to accompany Sophie on her night walks in Foxfire)
It shouldn't have been this embarassing to be walking alone with Tam - it wasn't as if they were awkward around each other. They'd been seeing each other way more often, in fact. But something inside Sophie's head was screaming, 'You're alone! At night! With Tam! ALONE!'
She shook her head lightly, trying to see if temperature regulation could cool her ears.
She's alone with Tam. So what?
"How've you been feeling?" The storm inside her head was so loud that she'd barely heard him speak.
She thought about it. "Better," was the only thing she really felt like saying.
"That's good to hear," Tam smiled quietly. "'Better' is always good. Especially after the state you and Fitz were in before..."
Sophie could hear the lingering fear in his voice.
"...You know," Tam said slowly, "I really did think that you and Fitz..."
Sophie gave him an understanding look. Whatever they'd been through clearly showed, and it had an undeniable effect on Tam. She didn't feel like reminscing about such things, though, not when walking in the dark like this felt so peaceful and so silent.
She chose to crack a small joke, instead. "At this point, it's honestly just another Tuesday."
~~~
(Under the assumption that Tam has visited Sophie and Fitz often, and he's walked into the infirmary again)
"Don't you have anything better to do?"
The look on Tam's face seemed to be genuinely hurt as he raised an eyebrow. "I didn't realize you weren't a fan of visitors."
"No, it's not that." It was the opposite, really - Tam and Keefe's regular visits made her feel like she was still included in whatever might be going on outside. "It's just... You don't have to feel obligated to visit me - us - all the time."
Tam walked up and sat beside her cot, waiting until she met his silvery eyes.
"I don't feel obligated, you know," Tam told her sternly. "I'm here because I want to see you."
Immediately, Sophie's mind locked onto the word 'you' against her desperate will, and she could feel her face warming unpleasantly. "Good to know."
"Plus," Tam added, "the fact that you're so used to the presence of that one - " he points towards Fitz - "and Gel Hair implies that you must really need this breath of fresh air."
He gestured to himself as said breath.
Sophie tilted her head. "I mean, I don't really mind either of them, though?"
Tam blinked, and the look on his face morphed into something she didn't quite understand. Before he could open his mouth to say anything, though, Fitz's voice sounded from across the room.
Random paragraphs that either lack context or don't really need any
(A really copium monologue written after re-reading Lodestar a few months ago)
For some reason, when Linh had revealed Tam's type to be brunettes, his thought process immediately delegated to a blonde girl instead. Which was baffling - he was sure he liked Biana.
Mulling over it seemed aimless and totally pointless. Who cared, what mattered about the girls he may or may not be attracted to, in the context of an ongoing mass-scale political and interspeciesal conflict? And yet, he was still doing it. Clearly, the problems of said blonde were rubbing off on him.
~~~
(Was supposed to be a part of a post-Flashback series, but I got lazy)
Sophie blinked at the sight in front of her. Of everyone she knew, the last person she expected to ever visit her house first was...
"Tam?"
Tam nodded. "Hey."
"Hi? What brings you here?"
He tugged on his bangs before admitting, "Nothing. I'm just bored. Wanna go to Mysterium?"
She looked down at her pajamas.
"You can go get changed first, obviously."
"Is it just us two?"
He paused. "...Yeah. I just want to go out, so I don't really wanna make some big group thing out of it."
"What about Linh?"
Tam raised his eyebrow. "I'm not attached to her by the hip, you know."
"Right..."
"So are you in, or not?"
"Oh, of course." Sophie didn't have a good reason to say no; plus, she was kinda itching to go out as well. It would be nice for someone as mild-mannered as Tam to accompany her.
~~~
(Part of the same series as above, this time after midterms or finals or whatever)
“Woah.” Tam stared down at the heaps of gifts stacked up in Sophie’s thinking cap. “This Foster Fan Club really a thing?”
“No,” Sophie vehemently denied.
He looked over at her with a smirk, as if he didn’t believe her in the slightest. She sighed–Tam was free to believe whatever he wanted. Why was he sticking around here, anyway? Wasn’t he already done with dropping crush cuffs over at Biana’s locker? …Sophie decided to refrain from saying that out loud.
She analyzed the pile, wondering if she should haul the whole thing over to the cafeteria or just pick out the ones from people she knew, but even the latter seemed to be an arduous task. She knew a lot of people, after all: Biana, Linh, Dex, Keefe, Fitz, Marella, Maruca, Stina…
Hold on. She’d gotten a gift from Stina Heks herself, but someone was still missing. The boy in question gave her an inquisitive look when he noticed her shooting glares at him.
“What is it.”
“....Nothing.”
She supposed that it made sense for Tam not to have gotten anyone a gift–something about his gloomy, reserved disposition or whatever.
~~~
(Possibly part of the same series, though written a lot lot earlier. They're sitting outside of Edaline and Grady's residence)
“So. Those two.” Tam didn’t make any gestures with his fingers nor his face, but Sophie knew exactly who ‘those two’ were.
“Yeah.” There was nothing else to say.
Tam paused. He was clearly curious, but he was careful in his speech. “...Have you… got one in mind?”
She didn’t want to reply. Tam took that as the answer, and they both continued to sit in silence on the ledge, Sophie alternating between looking at her swaying legs or up at the glimmering sky—Why was the sky always so beautiful, no matter the time of day? Was this another elven invention that she had yet to learn?
She was sidetracking her own thoughts, because she could feel her throat clogging up with all the things she wanted to say. Girl talk, she supposes, but that wasn’t suited for this situation in many different ways.
Why not just tell Biana? (Well, her brother is involved.)
Or Linh? (She was a little wary of who exactly she liked.)
Marella? Hell no. She shouldn’t have brought up her name in the first place.
Tam didn’t seem quite right either, but when she felt his presence beside her, neither overwhelmingly warm nor frigid, all the things she wanted to say that she clearly shouldn’t be saying in the middle of this 4-year crisis was coming up and out of her mouth right now.
“Keefe is just so—ugh, and Fitz? He’s… He’s…” Sophie sighed, kicking her legs against the ledge and secretly regretting it afterwards because of the dull sting.
Tam snickered, and Sophie sharply turned to look at him.
“Eloquent.”
“You know what I mean.”
“...I know.”
He did? Sophie raised an eyebrow at the words—she wasn’t expecting him to actually say so.
That's all! If you read all the way to the bottom, I declare you a true Taphie devotee, so as to go so far as to read some random's unfinished garbage. I really wouldn't mind if you're a fellow writer and got inspired by these... wink wink...
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Aoi Akane | Glasses/Yashiro Nene || Oneshot || 271 Words || General Audiences || Fluff, College AU, Microfic
<><><>
Akane wasn’t exactly well-versed on how to be in a relationship. This came as a surprise to even him, based on the efforts he’d gone through to win his lifelong crush’s heart, but maybe that was exactly why he was so incompetent when it came to dating; he’d never imagined such a scenario with anyone else.
It was a miracle that Nene had decided to put up with him for so long. Forgetting dates, never posting her on social media, sparse compliments even when he noticed she’d dressed up that day… The excuse of being caught up with college life could only go so far.
Every time he’d voice these concerns to Nene, she’d look at him and flash that captivatingly sweet smile of hers.
“But you still like me, right?”
“You’re awfully forgiving,” Akane grumbled, sinking his head into her shoulder on the couch of his apartment. “Wasn’t your teenage dream to have a devoted prince arrive at your humble abode and sweep you right off your feet?"
Her neutral expression morphed into a mock glare, a dust of pink highlighting her cheeks. Akane unapologetically stared out towards the blank TV in front of them, the corners of his lips rising into a smirk as Nene, once again, insisted that she’d matured and those dreams of hers were long gone.
“Even if they weren’t, you have me now,” Akane said. “No prince wants to commit adultery.”
Nene laughed as she pushed against Akane buoyantly. “See, you do know how to be romantic!”
Akane blushed as he stared down at the head of buttercream-coloured hair. She was satisfied with so little.
teru's peeved reaction to hanako being happy about nene's admission to her future confession -> teru being upset about nene's love for hanako -> JEALOUSY!? jealous? is this man jealous? perhaps he is a little envious?! /delusional
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