I wish you still looked at me the way you did in the moment before you kissed me for the first time. We were in your car and it was almost 10:30 p.m. on a Thursday night. September 18th, 2014. You turned on a song as you were driving me home and I remember smiling and feeling the rush of blood to my cheeks as I began to blush. We sat in your car outside my house and talked for so long before I started to leave. “Wait,” you said. And I paused. I will never forget that look. You looked at me with such innocence and curiosity, full of want and love. But you don’t look at me like that anymore.
I will never forget that kiss. You twisted your fingers in my hair, your lips were soft, and your kiss was gentle. I felt your hand shaking ever so slightly as I held it in mine. I remember falling in love in that moment. It was the kind of kiss that you read about in fairytales. It was the beginning of us. Everything disappeared during that kiss. But you don’t kiss me like that anymore.
I wish you still loved me the way you did on October 3rd, 2014. You asked me to be your girlfriend and I knew my answer before you even asked. Yes. If you could’ve seen the smile on your face; the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen. I could see so much love in your eyes. You used to hold my hand like it was your favorite thing to hold. You used to talk to me like you never wanted me to go. But you don’t feel that way anymore.
I miss the way you cared about me. You used to tell me that I was beautiful everyday. You used to tell me that you loved me everyday. You used to tell me good morning and goodnight everyday, even when we were furious at one another. You used to talk to me about our future like there was no ending to our love. But you don’t care that much anymore.
You used to love me like I was everything you had. But now I’m just something you have, and you’re not sure that you love me.
J.C. — written December 2015
gamechangershow
gracieabrams
romaincrisis
discoholicmusic
2087
tangentwithtanner
amandla
areudirty
