༯ synopsis: Friday finally arrives, bringing the moment Louis has been eagerly awaiting: Faramir steps up as the game master, leading the Fellowship into their new RPG campaign. With dice ready, maps spread out, and anticipation running high, they prepare to face the dangers and unravel the mysteries buried deep within the forgotten halls of the Mines of Moria.
༯ tags: characters play dungeons and dragons; comedy; everyone is so done with pippin; gimli hates pippin's dice; boromir has his A MAN moment; nobody is taking this seriously besides Aragorn and Faramir;
༯ synopsis : Bilbo Baggins, a grumpy food critic with a passion for tea, is sent to the charming town of Erewhaven to cover the so-called "Coffee Wars." What begins as a simple assignment quickly unravels into a mess of age-old rivalries, stolen recipes, and long-buried secrets. At the heart of it all stands Thorin, the proud proprietor of the Golden Dragon — and the one person Bilbo had hoped to avoid at all costs.
As anonymous notes and sabotage begin to boil, Bilbo is drawn into an unexpected mission to reunite the long-lost Brotherhood of the Seven Cafés. Between mysteries and mochas, he discovers that the true flavor of the city lies in the broken bonds, the unspoken passions — and in a coffee that changes everything.
༯ tags : found family; mystery; secret society; slowburn; humor;
༯ synopsis : Ethan, a lonely mechanic, never expected that a simple encounter with a red-haired customer would awaken fragments of a life he didn't remember living. Now, Kili, haunted by memories that seem too real to be dreams, finds himself driven to find the people he once called family.
His only hope lies in a tiny newspaper ad.
༯ tags : fluff and angst; found family; reincarnation au; kili fell in love at first sight again; thorin's company; family dynamic;
༯ synopsis : Ethan, a lonely mechanic, never expected that a simple encounter with a red-haired customer would awaken fragments of a life he didn't remember living. Now, Kili, haunted by memories that seem too real to be dreams, finds himself driven to find the people he once called family.
His only hope lies in a tiny newspaper ad.
༯ tags : fluff and angst; found family; reincarnation au; kili fell in love at first sight again; thorin's company; family dynamic;
⏦ﾟ♡︎ the last of durin's line . . . tauriel x kili (part 2)
༯ synopsis : Tauriel is the night guard at the NY Museum of Natural History, but she didn't expect that with the arrival of an Eraborian exhibition she would find the love of her life in the sculpture of Prince 'Killian Durin'.
༯ tags : inspired by night at the museum; tauriel and legolas are night guards; thranduil and bard are so unserious; tauriel fell in love at first sight; attempt at humor; arwen and aragorn are oblivious in love;
༯ word count : 2.5k
༯ status : on-going
༯ part 1
The museum was unusually quiet for a night like this. After the frenzy of corralling the lions back into their exhibit, Tauriel finally had a brief moment of peace at the information desk. She and Kili sat side by side at the counter, her feet swinging slightly as she guided him through the complexities of the modern world — more specifically, YouTube.
The prince stood next to her, leaning in slightly, his eyes gleaming with youthful curiosity as he observed the computer screen.
"So... this object shows images and sounds of anything you want to see?" Kili asked, his voice thick with fascination.
Tauriel smiled, shaking her head.
“Basically. You can search for music, stories, movies… it’s all here.” She slid her mouse over the table, accessing the YouTube website. “Some are funny, some are educational, some are completely useless. Check this out.”
Tauriel clicked on a random video on the homepage, and the two of them sat in silence as they watched a cat trying to open a door.
The silence lasted only a few seconds before Kili burst out laughing.
"That's genius!" He slapped his hand on the counter, still laughing. "Have humans actually spent time watching cats struggle to open doors?"
“You’d be surprised what entertains people these days,” Tauriel replied, trying to keep a straight face but failing when she saw him so genuinely amused.
"I need to show this to Fili. He'll love it." Kili smiled, still staring at the screen in fascination.
Tauriel observed him for a moment, noting how effortlessly he was adjusting to this new world. There was still some confusion and surprise, of course, but unlike Thorin, who approached modernity with caution, or Fili, who carefully examined everything before gradually embracing it, Kili welcomed it all with boundless enthusiasm — like a child marveling at newfound wonders.
“You’re handling all of this well,” she commented, leaning an elbow on the counter and looking at him.
He turned his face to her, the smile still present but now softer.
"Well, it's a little weird, I won't lie. But…" He looked back at the screen, where the cat was now trying to climb a shelf without success. "If this world has things like this, maybe it's not so bad." 'Like you' he wanted to say.
Tauriel smiled, nodding.
"I'll teach you how to look for specific things. What do you want to see?"
Kili was thoughtful for a moment before his eyes lit up again.
"I want to see archers. Who are the best archers of your time?"
She typed 'world’s best archers' into the search bar and clicked on the first video. The two of them watched as a modern athlete hit targets at impressive distances, and Kili tilted his head, analyzing every move.
"Interesting... but he wouldn't last even ten minutes in a real battle." Kili commented, crossing his arms.
Tauriel laughed. “I kind of agree with you, but archery is mostly just used as a sport these days.”
Kili was relaxed, his arms crossed on the counter as he watched yet another video of an archery championship. But after a while, he frowned, looking away from the screen.
"Hey… where’s Fili?"
Tauriel paused the video and tilted her head in consideration as she looked at him.
"Now that you mention it… the last time I saw him, he was with Legolas, Thranduil, and Bard."
Kili arched an eyebrow. “After living here for a while, I know that doesn’t mean anything good.”
Tauriel huffed out a laugh and stood up. “We better go look before they get into trouble.”
The two of them walked through the museum, their footsteps echoing faintly through the silent hallways. They passed through the main hall, checked near the interactive exhibits, but found nothing. It was only when they approached the cafeteria that Tauriel suddenly stopped, holding up a hand to tell Kili to be quiet.
He looked at her, confused, but then followed her gaze to the entrance of the cafeteria. And that's when he saw it.
Fili, Legolas, Thranduil, and Bard were hiding behind a large ornamental plant at the entrance to the cafeteria. Fili and Legolas were crouched low, trying not to be seen, while the two miniatures — Thranduil and Bard — were perched on top of the pot, whispering to each other with conspiratorial expressions.
Kili narrowed his eyes. "What are they doing?"
Tauriel sighed and crossed her arms. “There’s only one way to find out.”
The two approached silently, stopping just behind the group without being noticed.
“I still think we should get closer,” Fili whispered, peering through the leaves.
"Reckless," Legolas muttered back.
"I disagree. With the right angle, we can hear better." Bard said, adjusting his tiny cowboy hat as he looked at Thranduil.
The tiny roman general sighed dramatically. “I don’t need to get any closer. I’m a natural strategist. I understand the situation without needing any more information.”
Kili and Tauriel exchanged a look before finally following the group's line of sight… and then they understood.
In the cafeteria, sitting at a table, Aragorn and Arwen were talking. The king's expression was serene, a slight smile on his face as he spoke to the tour guide, who watched him with a soft gaze.
"… Are they spying on Aragorn and Miss Arwen?!" Kili whispered in disbelief.
"Clearly." Tauriel rolled her eyes.
Fili finally noticed their presence and frantically gestured for them to get down.
"Don't ruin the operation!" he muttered.
Kili sighed and knelt down beside his brother, though his expression made it clear he had no idea what was going on.
"And what exactly would that operation be?"
Legolas finally looked away from the cafeteria table and looked at Tauriel and Kili with the seriousness of someone who was dealing with a matter of utmost importance.
"We're trying to figure out if Aragorn really is courting Arwen or if it's just our imagination."
Kili blinked. "…Why?"
Fili pointed at the table excitedly. "Because look at them! They've been talking for a while, but we still don't know if it's flirting or just casual conversation."
Tauriel rubbed her temples, feeling a headache forming. “You all have centuries of life experience, Legolas, you are old enough, and still are you all spying on a couple in the cafeteria like you are gossipers from a small village?”
Bard crossed his arms, indignant. "Information is power, my dear."
Thranduil let out an impatient sigh. “I told you, there’s no doubt about it. She’s clearly interested, but he’s, as always, a man of few words and discreet gestures.”
"So what’s the next step?" Fili asked excitedly.
"We wait for physical contact!" Bard replied, as if it were obvious.
Kili looked at Tauriel, clearly expecting her to put an end to the situation. She just sighed again. “… Move aside! I want to see too.”
"Shall we bet? I say he holds her hand in less than five minutes." Kili asked excitedly, finally giving in to the situation.
Bard chuckled softly. “You’re being optimistic, prince. I say it’ll take at least ten.”
Thranduil sighed dramatically. "That is, if he has the courage to do so."
Fili leaned next to Legolas and watched the couple for a moment. “Hm… I’d say he holds her hand in three minutes.”
Legolas smiled. "Done."
Tauriel rolled her eyes. “You guys are ridiculous, I say fifteen.”
The whispers and giggles continued as the small group remained hidden behind the potted plant, watching Aragorn and Arwen with the concentration of strategists in battle. Fili and Legolas chuckled whenever the king hesitated or ran a hand through his hair, clearly nervous.
“He’s completely lost,” Tauriel whispered, trying to contain a laugh.
“Look at that, look at that! He just leaned forward a little,” Fili muttered, nudging Bard lightly, careful not to push the miniature.
“That doesn’t mean anything,” Bard replied, adjusting his tiny cowboy hat. “He might just be settling into his chair.”
"Or it could be a calculated move to close the distance between them." Thranduil countered, crossing his arms and giving Bard a superior look.
“You two are approaching this like it’s a political negotiation,” Tauriel muttered.
"To a general, everything is a political negotiation." Thranduil replied with a smug smile.
Kili held back his laughter, nudging Tauriel lightly. "I admit, this is a lot more fun than I expected."
Tauriel just shook her head, holding back a smile as she went back to observing the scene.
But they were so engrossed in their “spy mission” that no one noticed the silent approach of two imposing figures behind them. Again.
"I would like to know what exactly is going on here." Thorin's deep voice cut through the air like a blade, and everyone froze in an instant.
Fili, who was leaning forward to get a better look, almost fell forward, but managed to catch himself on the potted plant at the last second. Kili's eyes widened and he straightened up quickly, while Bard and Thranduil exchanged glances as if they were already planning to blame each other. Legolas shivered as did Tauriel.
Slowly, everyone turned to face Thorin, who was looking at them with his arms crossed and a not very pleased expression. Beside him, Bilbo was also watching them, but his expression was a mixture of confusion and amusement.
"Mahal…" Thorin sighed, running his hand over his face. "What are you doing hiding behind a plant?"
Legolas pointed directly at Fili. "It was him!"
Fili cringed, taking a deep breath. “We’re just… following an important moment.”
Thorin crossed his arms, his sharp gaze sweeping over each of them before settling on his nephews. “And why exactly does that require you to hide behind a plant?”
Fili opened his mouth to respond, but Kili interrupted him, poking his arm.
"Shhh, look over there!"
Everyone immediately turned their attention to Aragorn and Arwen. The couple continued talking, but then, just as Fili had predicted, Aragorn took a deep breath and, with a determined look, reached across the table, gently taking Arwen's hand.
There was a brief moment of silence… followed by an excited murmur from the group behind the plant.
"I knew it!" Fili whispered, triumphant.
"Three and a half minutes, I almost got it right." Kili laughed, looking at Legolas's watch.
Bard shook his head, impressed. Thranduil just rolled his eyes. Thorin, however, looked completely incredulous.
"Are you guys betting on other people's romances?"
Bilbo, who had been quiet until then, covered his mouth with his hand to hide a laugh. "Well... it seems they got it right."
Thorin shot him an exasperated look, but Bilbo just shrugged, clearly enjoying the situation. He rubbed his temple, as if he had already accepted that this night would only get more chaotic.
"Alright, the fun is over. Get out of here before you get caught." Bilbo said, before grabbing Thorin's arm and pulling him towards the Oceania exhibit.
But before they could move, Aragorn looked up slightly, as if he sensed something strange. His eyes narrowed… directly at the plant.
"Shit." Fili hissed.
And then, without thinking twice, the whole group ducked at the same time, as if that was enough to avoid being seen, Thranduil and Bard had pulled a leaf down.
The group stood there, huddled behind the plant, breathing as quietly as possible, hoping that Aragorn and Arwen had not noticed them. The silence in the café seemed eternal, and no one dared to move, except for a few muffled sighs and furtive glances exchanged between the members of the "conspiracy".
Aragorn glanced briefly at the plant, but seemed more concerned with what Arwen was saying, not paying any more attention to what was around him. With that, the group relaxed a little, relieved that they had not been caught.
"That was close…" Fili whispered, still breathing heavily.
“If we stay here for another minute, we’ll be found,” Kili muttered, trying to keep his tone calm, although his expression revealed how much he was enjoying the situation.
"Don't tell me you're afraid of being caught spying." Thranduil said, with his characteristic aristocratic tone, not hiding his disdain.
"We're not scared. We're just trying not to cause any more trouble than we already have today." Tauriel replied, slowly getting up from the plant.
However, what happened next was one of the biggest disasters of their little “spy operation.”
As everyone prepared to leave silently, the potted plant next to Fili, which he had unintentionally leaned on, swayed dangerously.
“Watch out!” Kili shouted in an urgent whisper, but it was too late.
The plant pot tilted and, with a heavy sound, fell to the ground with a dull crash, scattering dirt all over the entrance of the cafeteria.
The sound was enough to make Aragorn and Arwen look in the group’s direction.
“Hey, what’s going on over there?” Aragorn stood up, his eyes narrowing as he tried to make sense of what was happening.
The group immediately split up, trying to hide as quickly as possible, but the mission was a failure.
“Come on, come on!” Tauriel whispered, pulling Kili to move behind an empty table.
But before they could move completely, Thranduil, who had been more trapped in the plant than the others, moved abruptly and accidentally bumped into the edge of the pot.
"Argh…" Thranduil fell to the side, like a toy doll, and rolled straight into the middle of the cafeteria.
Bard had jumped onto Legolas' shoulder, who had tried to run, but there was no turning back.
Aragorn, with an astonished expression, pointed to the small general in the middle of the hall. "This can't be real..." he muttered.
Arwen, smiling with a slight amusement, glanced at Aragorn and then at the group huddled behind the tables.
“I knew they were here,” she said, looking directly at the crouched Tauriel with an amused smile.
Fili, desperate, stood up, trying to do something that seemed natural, but instead he ended up tripping over the chair and hitting his head against the counter.
"Ouch, ouch, ouch..." he groaned, tidying himself up and trying to act as if nothing had happened.
Kili simply shrugged and tried to smile awkwardly. "Well, it seems the mission was a success... if the goal was to cause a big mess, of course."
Tauriel slapped her forehead in exasperation. “I’m never going on a ‘secret operation’ with you guys again.”
Aragorn, now with a mischievous smile, walked towards the group, who were recovering from the mess, and stopped in front of the Durin princes.
"What exactly were you guys doing, huh? And why were you hiding behind plants?"
Fili, with the most innocent expression he could muster, tried to hide it. "We just wanted to observe the environment, nothing more."
Arwen laughed softly, her gaze more understanding. “I’d say they were ‘observing’ more than just their surroundings, but that’s okay.”
Tauriel, still not knowing what to say, felt her cheeks flush and she walked over to Thranduil, picking him up and placing him on Legolas' shoulder.
"I warned you…"
The looks exchanged between the group and the two in the cafeteria said it all. It was a night to forget... or at least to laugh about later.
⏦ﾟ♡︎ the last of durin's line . . . tauriel x kili
༯ synopsis : Tauriel is the night guard at the NY Museum of Natural History, but she didn't expect that with the arrival of an Eraborian exhibition she would find the love of her life in the sculpture of Prince 'Killian Durin'.
༯ tags : inspired by night at the museum; tauriel and legolas are night guards; thranduil and bard are so unserious; tauriel fell in love at first sight; attempt at humor; arwen and aragorn are oblivious in love;
༯ word count : 2.7k
༯ status : on-going
༯ part 2
New York, 2016
“Legolas!” the woman exclaimed, breathless, as she hurriedly climbed the museum’s entrance stairs, trying to balance a tray of coffee in her left hand and a backpack in her right. “Wait for me!”
The man turned, raising an eyebrow as he saw her running towards him. She was dressed in a bulky white jacket, matching her light-colored cap that had a large pompom on top. He smiled and shook his head, walking down two steps to catch up to her and take the tray from her hands.
"Oh my God, Tauriel! You're going to run someone over at this rate." he said, exasperated, as he looked around at the busy street. The day was coming to an end, and people were hurrying towards their homes. "We still have five minutes until our shift starts." he added, checking the watch on his wrist.
“No! We’re late! Inspector Beorn asked us to arrive early, remember?” she said, her eyes wide as she grabbed the man’s wrist and pulled him toward the museum entrance, hurrying through the revolving doors. “He wanted us to organize the new Erabor exhibition. We had to make sure we were the first to see it at sunset!”
"Fuck..." Legolas' eyes widened as he looked at his watch again. "The museum will wake up soon. What floor is the new exhibition on?"
"On the second floor, next to the Ancient Egypt exhibit! We can’t let Galadriel talk to them first." Tauriel replied, letting out a soft laugh as she positioned herself behind the information desk in the middle of the museum. She placed her backpack on the swivel chair, took off her jacket and cap and hung them on the back of the chair, before fixing her hair. "The museum is going to be a disaster — it’s been a while since we’ve had a new exhibit. We have a total of three new sculptures.." Her eyes lit up at the thought of what was to come. The museum, quiet and peaceful during the day, always gained a special touch at dusk. Magic happened — literally.
Legolas adjusted the earpiece, listening to the soft hiss of the intercom before letting out a weary sigh. Leaning over the counter, he gazed down at his clipboard.
"'The last of Durin's line', the princes have the original weapons? Amazing..." Legolas murmured, surprised, as he read the documents on his clipboard. "'The King under the Mountain', I remember seeing this sculpture in a documentary, it's very realistic..."
"That explains why we spent almost two months on renovations..." Tauriel bit her lower lip, picking up her coffee cup and drinking.
"Don't even tell me, Faramir wouldn't stop complaining about the dirt in the Egypt section." Legolas looked at his watch and picked up his clipboard, starting to walk towards the elevator. "It's almost time."
"Well, you're the one who decided to get involved with an emperor," Tauriel replied, hanging the bunch of keys at her waist.
The man ignored the red-haired woman, simply rolling his eyes as he leaned against the elevator wall, nodding along to the classical music playing.
"Do you think it will be peaceful today?" Legolas asked, still focused on his drawing board, but without hiding a certain anxiety.
"Calm?" Tauriel raised an eyebrow, with a cynical smile. "With Galadriel, always around? And now with these new sculptures? I highly doubt it."
"But, King Aragorn assured me that he would keep Rex busy, with the help of Bard and Thranduil." said the woman.
"Do you really trust those two not to cause trouble?" Legolas asked, shrugging as he remembered how the little cowboy and the general of the Roman Empire always left a trail of chaos.
"As long as the toy car has a battery... Of course I trust them." Only Aragorn actually, she thought to herself.
The elevator doors opened with a soft clink, and Tauriel’s lips lifted in a small smile.
“Showtime,” she murmured to Legolas, her voice thick with anticipation.
The blond let out a deep sigh, letting his shoulders relax before casting a careful glance around the silent hallway. He gave his friend a small wave and walked ahead, his footsteps barely audible on the polished floor.
The museum's soft lighting cast long shadows on the walls, giving the room an even more solemn air at this time of night. Tauriel followed Legolas's gaze for a moment before turning her attention to their final destination: the large, dark doors that held the museum's newest exhibit.
Her smile widened a little as she began walking in that direction. It was always a special moment when new artifacts came to life for the first time. The newly arrived statues would soon awaken, and she would be there to guide them through their first contact with this new world.
Tauriel pushed the heavy doors open with both hands, feeling the cool wood beneath her fingers as they creaked open. Her heartbeat quickened slightly as she took the first step into the new exhibit. Strategically placed lighting cast shadows and glows across the artifacts, but it was the trio of sculptures in the center of the room that immediately caught her attention, the paintings and some artifacts going unnoticed.
There they were. The last of Durin's line.
In the center, Thorin Durin stood imposingly, his stern expression carved in impressive detail. His eyes held an almost intimidating seriousness, and the cloak fell over his shoulders with an impressive wealth of detail. Every strand of his black beard, every fold in his armor, everything seemed alive in a surreal way, the statue conveying the same imposingness that the true king would have had in life. Tauriel stopped before him, studying him with respect before moving to the left.
Prince Phillip. His gaze fell on the blond prince, and a sigh escaped him without realizing it. His long, traditionally braided hair shone in the light, and his braided mustache reinforced his noble bearing. There was something serene in his expression, as if, even in wax, Phillip carried a quiet joy, an unwavering loyalty.
Then, her eyes slid to the last statue.
Her breath hitched. Prince Killian.
The younger prince seemed to capture something beyond the simple art of sculpture. There was an intensity in his sculpted gaze, an energy that made her breath catch in her lungs for a moment. His features were strong, but there was a softness to them, a perfect balance between bravery and youth. The waves of his hair fell over his shoulders with stunning ease, pinned back slightly.
He was absolutely gorgeous.
His bow rested securely on his back, and his arrows were positioned perfectly in his quiver. The way the sculpture captured the tension in his muscles, the lightness in his posture, made him look as if he might move at any moment.
And he would.
Tauriel felt a current pass through the air. It was subtle at first, a barely perceptible vibration, but soon the dim glow of the lights flickered, and a low, almost imperceptible sound began to vibrate in the air. Rex. A soft crack, followed by another, louder one.
Her heart raced as the first spark of life appeared in Thorin's eyes. The statue was no longer a statue. His hands moved slowly, testing his own fingers, and a long sigh escaped his lips, as if he were waking from a deep sleep.
Beside him, Phillip blinked several times before letting out a muffled murmur. His twin blades now gleamed in the soft light of the museum, as if they had been forged for a battle that was about to begin.
Tauriel held her breath as the last of them finally moved.
Killian blinked slowly, his brows furrowing as if he were trying to figure out where he was. The gleam in his brown eyes began to focus, and then he took a deep breath, lifting his head. His hands flexed slightly before resting on the bow on his back, an automatic gesture of an archer accustomed to keeping his weapon close at hand.
And then he saw her.
Killian's eyes met hers, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still.
Tauriel felt heat rise to her skin, but she kept her posture firm. First impressions were always important. Then, finally, she broke the silence. “Welcome back.”
Thorin stepped forward, his expression dark and intense. He was taller than Tauriel had imagined, his imposing presence radiating a natural authority. His eyes, now bright and questioning, fixed her intently.
“Who are you?” His voice was firm, thick with suspicion. He looked around, his eyes scanning the room warily. “And where in Mahal’s name are we?”
Phillip and Killian exchanged a brief glance before turning their attention back to the woman. The older one seemed more attentive and analytical, while the younger one tilted his head slightly, his gaze curious but attentive.
Tauriel took a deep breath. She was used to this kind of reaction — it was always like this when new exhibits came to life for the first time. She took a deep breath before speaking, keeping her voice calm and controlled.
“I know this must be confusing for you, but I can explain. You are inside a museum.” She gestured around the immense hall. “This is an exhibition dedicated to the lineage of Durin, your sculptures were brought here as part of the collection to be preserved.”
The king frowned, clearly not satisfied with the explanation. Phillip, on the other hand, arched an eyebrow, absorbing the information with interest.
"Preserved? Are you saying we are just… memories of a time that has passed?"
Thorin, beside him, remained silent, his eyes scanning the surroundings, absorbing every detail.
Killian, on the other hand, tilted his head slightly. “But we’re alive,” he said, touching his own hand, feeling the skin that had once been nothing but wax. “Why?”
Tauriel allowed herself a small smile before answering, “Because of Faramir’s Tablet.”
The three men looked at each other, not recognizing the name. Thorin looked impatient.
"And what is this tablet thing?"
“An Egyptian artifact that is on display in the next wing,” Tauriel explained. “Every night, it emits an energy that allows the sculptures and figures in the museum to awaken until dawn. But when the sun rises, you return to your original state.”
Phillip let out a low whistle, impressed. “So, basically, we’re stuck in a cycle of life and death every night?”
"If you prefer to see it that way... yes."
Killian chuckled softly. “Well, it could be worse. At least we’re here, right?”
He smiled at her, and Tauriel felt a slight heat rise to her face, but she kept her composure. Thorin, however, remained serious, pondering everything. After a long moment of silence, he finally spoke:
"And what happens now?"
Tauriel uncrossed her arms and stepped forward. “Now, I’ll guide you. I’ll explain the rules. And I’ll help you understand any questions you may have.”
The three of Durin's line continued to stare at her, absorbing her words. And deep down, Tauriel knew that this would be a very long night.
"By the way, my name is Tauriel, and I am the night guard."
“Fili Durin,” said the blonde prince.
“And Kili Durin,” said the younger one.
“At your service,” they said together and bowed.
Thorin just looked at her and nodded slightly.
───────
The sound of Tauriel’s boots echoed across the museum’s shiny floor as she walked ahead of the trio, leading them through the lobby. With every step, she felt the watchful eyes of Prince Filí and the king on her and their surroundings, taking in every detail of the new reality they found themselves in. Killian, on the other hand, seemed more interested in his own discovery of the place, curiously touching the display cases as they passed and nodding at the sculptures they passed.
“So this museum… keeps warriors and kings as exhibits?” Fili asked, glancing around at the other sections.
“Something like that,” Tauriel replied, not elaborating too much. She didn’t want to overwhelm them with information right away.
Before she could continue, a shrill scream cut through the silence of the museum. Tauriel stopped abruptly, her eyes widening for a brief moment.
Thorin frowned, his hand instinctively reaching for the hilt of his sword.
"Was that a scream?" Filí asked, frowning.
“There were several screams,” Kili corrected, already instinctively reaching for his bow.
But unlike them, Tauriel just took a deep breath, wasting no time, she ran down the hallway, hearing the heavy footsteps of the three men behind her. When she turned the corner, she found exactly the kind of scene she feared.
In the middle of the hall, Dwalin — a heavily clothed Viking with striking tattoos— was shouting furiously at a small toy car, its engine roaring. Beside him, Gimli — a pirate in a wide hat and worn boots — was shouting with equal indignation.
Inside the cart sat two tiny figures: Thranduil, a miniature Roman general in gleaming silver armor and a red cape, and Bard, an equally small cowboy in a hat and leather coat, his legs casually crossed.
And of course, they shouted back loudly.
“Out of the way, you noisy ogres!” Thranduil demanded, grabbing the reins of an invisible horse.
"That's right! We're on a mission!" Bard reinforced, tipping his hat back.
"Mission my ass! You almost ran over my foot!" Gimli retorted, stamping his foot on the ground.
“So what? You have two, don’t you?” Thranduil snapped. “Your foot is worth nothing compared to the honor of a Roman general!” he retorted, his small voice full of arrogance.
"By Odin, I will crush this cart with my bare hands!" Dwalin roared, raising his fists.
In the midst of the chaos, Bilbo, an archaeologist in beige clothes and a scarf around his neck, stood between the two groups, looking as if he wanted to intervene, but not brave enough to step into the line of fire.
Leaning against the far wall, Legolas watched everything with his arms crossed, shaking his head slowly in pure denial, as if he had already given up on sanity, his long hair was all messed up.
Tauriel took a deep breath before finally interjecting.
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!"
Immediately, everyone froze. Silence filled the hallway, broken only by the sound of the car creaking slightly as it slid forward an inch. Thranduil turned toward him with an arched eyebrow.
"Ah, finally, someone in authority. Tell these barbarians to get off the road."
“Road? It’s a corridor, you lunatic!” Gimli exclaimed.
Kilí, who was standing behind Tauriel, watched everything with an amused glint in his eyes.
“Okay,” she began, keeping her voice steady. “I’m only going to ask once: why exactly are two big warriors yelling at two who aren’t even big enough to fight?”
“They nearly ran me over!” Gimli pointed an accusing finger at Thranduil and Bard, still sitting in the cart. “And they didn’t apologize!”
"We have no time for excuses when we are on a mission of great importance!" Bard retorted, adjusting his leather coat as if he were a true gunslinger.
“Of great importance?” Dwalin snorted. “And what mission would that be?”
Thranduil crossed his legs and tilted his head, looking at them as if they were mere commoners in his path.
"That's none of your business."
"That's none of your business!" Gimli repeated mockingly, rolling his eyes. "Just see!"
Bilbo, who had been watching until then, finally found the courage to speak. "Well... maybe they have a good reason?"
"Thank you, archaeologist." Bard smiled, raising his hands.
"At least someone here has some common sense."
"Don't pull my leg!" Bilbo quickly retorted.
Meanwhile, Legolas remained leaning against the wall, watching everything with boredom. Tauriel gave him a sharp look.
"And you? Why didn't you do anything to stop it?"
Legolas shrugged. "I wanted to see where this would go."
Tauriel let out an exasperated sigh. “Okay. Everyone, stop. Now.”
Her authoritative tone silenced the group again.
“Thranduil, Bard, get off that cart. Now.”
“No.”
Tauriel closed her eyes and counted to three before opening them again.
"Thranduil…"
The miniature Roman general snorted dramatically before finally standing up, followed by Bard, who jumped out of the cart with a quick leap.
"Thank you. Now, Dwalin and Gimli, no one is to smash anything, understood?" The two grumbled, but nodded.
"I liked them!" Kili said, a big smile on his face as he watched the scene.
"Does this… happen often?" Fili asked, looking from Tauriel to Legolas.
Thorin just ran a hand over his face, as if he was already tired of the situation before he even fully understood it.
Legolas shrugged. "You get used to it. Welcome to the night shift..."
