TCC is problematic

Hey there, I used to be a member of the teacher crush community but I'm not anymore. I've realized there are a few problematic things going on in the community which I will address on this blog. I'm not here to hate on the tcc.

[teachercrushsurvivor]

red flag to look out for:

if your tc is asking you to keep secrets about what you two are doing, or talking about, or how much time you’re spending together, that is bc they know they are doing something wrong!

if what you two are doing is completely appropriate and acceptable, it wouldn’t need to be a secret!

Keep reading

[for-when-youre-lonely]

I've never had a TC account but as someone that was in the community for 3ish years,,, here are some things I'd like to share after now being about 4 months out of highschool

-If you see those posts about watching out for red flags, how older men shouldn't be friends with teenage girls and how they should Definitely never persue relationships with them and your first thought is "not me, I'm just mature for my age, it's fine if I do it and I can handle myself" I was you for years. As soon as things start to get iffy, get out fast. Grooming is very real, and a lot of older people do use their power positions to manipulate younger people. You could very well have a healthy, mentor like relationship with your TC, but know where the lines are and when they're being crossed.

-it is completely normal for younger people to take an interest in older people, especially ones in power positions over them. It is the adult's job to never entertain that idea. (Not that you should Ever persue a much older adult as a minor though, you do have some responsibility but victims of grooming are victims and are more than valid)

-Learn! The! Signs! Of! Grooming!! If you are ever uncomfortable or feel as though you're being perceived by your TC in a way that makes you uncomfortable or just not feel right, don't brush it off. Set your boundaries and avoid that situation as much as possible after boundaries are crossed.

-It's okay to feel uncomfortable. I know a lot of people on here talk about how much they would love more or a certain type of attention from their TC, but if you're in that spot, don't let anyone make you think you have to be grateful for it, even and especially if it makes you feel wrong/uncomfortable/violated in any type of way

-I'll add more if I think of anything else, and feel free to comment anything along these lines I missed. More than anything, keep yourself safe. Your health and safety come before anything else, even their job or reputation if it gets to that point. Whatever you're feeling IS valid.

My asks and DMs are always open for anyone that needs it. I hate that I have to look back at highschool and have it laced with memories that now make me feel sick to my stomach knowing those moments weren't what I thought they were and it's hard to not have anyone to talk to about it because no one knew, but that also means I have no room to judge or blame anyone in the same spot. Just stay safe guys ❣️

[catchymemes]

Bedtime cuddles

[t3sla]

look at this fucking baby

[disgustinganimals]

i can’t fucking believe this wtf wtf wtf wtf

[hellaextraneous]

Little reminder

It’s not okay for your teacher to like you back. Teacher’s shouldn’t be attracted to their students. Even in college, that’s grounds for them to lose their job.

If your teacher shows signs of liking you, that’s genuinely messed up and not good. Most of y'all are children, anyway.

It’s okay to fantasize about them, but don’t put moves on them and you should absolutely report anything inappropriate. It’s not okay.

Yes, even if you guys are in the same age range. They have far too much power over you. Assume you guys break up? Suddenly, now you have to go to a class with someone you can’t get away from. This isn’t the same as liking another student in your class because you could always ignore them or sit away from them. Where are you gonna go when your ex is legit the entire foundation of your class? Your environment becomes stressful. What happens if you need extra help? You can’t go to your teacher (aka your ex) for that now since it’s too awkward. What if they don’t like the fact you guys broke up and are now docking your grades? Now you either have to go tell someone (and have it outed to the authority’s and speculated by the entire school) or suffer in silence.

If you guys don’t break up, you’re going to wonder if you’re actually getting good grades or if your boo is being nice. You’re going to double check every good score. Or at least, if the school board finds out, they definitely will. You guys will literally be walking on eggshells all the damn time. Imagine the stress? The secrets you keep from others and the lies you’ll have to tell? Relationships shouldn’t be like that, they should be fun. If you have to lie about seeing a movie with somebody, your relationship isn’t a relationship, it’s a game of jenga.

Please stay safe.

[rose-solace-deactivated20190527]

blackheartsclass

Full disclaimer: we will not be naming names, revealing locations, or posting photos of either A or B, nor will we be linking their social media in order to protect the privacy of all involved.

To begin with, us finding out who A and B are, is funnily enough B’s fault.

There was an account on here who accidentally liked one of our posts to do with the blackheartsclass account. Said like immediately disappeared, but unfortunately for B I (Rose) was on the app and saw the notification pop up.

The account was a first name and a last name. Finding this odd, I checked the blog. It was empty, but the likes were public, and all were from the tcc.

I told our good friend @iris-crush - she also agreed it was odd and so she checked her following list. Turned out the same blog followed her. We both thought it was a bit strange that B - who had been promptly communicating with her - could read her answers to his asks and respond so quickly. Surely a teacher doesn’t have time to sit on Tumblr and wait for responses? Unless, of course, said teacher was following her on a throwaway blog.

So, we took it upon ourselves to do a little digging. Something was telling us that there were far too many coincidences for it to remain one. @iris-crush went through social media with that name, knowing that B must live in the US. We didn’t think we’d ever find him, but alas, through some luck (or rather skill), she did - on not one, but two platforms. Facebook and Instagram.

Now, how do we know it’s him, you ask?

Oliver and I had no knowledge of A and B’s blog prior to the original anon ask. But she and another friend of ours had been keeping up with them and had seen the photos A had posted both of herself (her face reveals) and him (the back of him, the top of his head in her nsfw picture) when they’d met up. From memory, they were both able to match up his hair to the hair of the man who runs the Instagram and the Facebook. Naturally, even though we had the name, we doubted the fact that we’d found him.

But, again, there were too many coincidences. This man was a teacher and he lived in the US. He had the same name as the blog that was being shady. His hair definitely matched up to the pictures they’d posted. And his Instagram handle? That featured a word that was in the title of the blog. Still unconvinced, we went through his Instagram. And on the most recent post, dated 5 days ago at the time of writing, was a picture with a caption featuring the words ‘young lady’. As I’m sure you all know, B had a fondness for calling the girls in the tcc ‘young lady’. If any of you have received asks from him, you’re likely to see that he’s called you that at some point or another.

Now, how is all this relevant? Sure, we found them. We know who they are. Why does it matter?

Because, people, B is married. With children.

In fact, his youngest child was born not even a week ago. That’s who he was calling ‘young lady’. His newborn child.

Considering his Instagram is completely public, as is his Facebook profile, we’re betting that A knows he’s married and has children too. That’s how much he’s groomed her, to the extent that she still wants to be with him even though he’s married and has children. That’s why they were both so nervous about people finding out who they were.

One of the most disgusting facts of all? The AoC in his state is not 16. It is above that. Which means that yes, for him, their relationship was illegal and prosecutable.

This is the man you’re trusting. This is the relationship you’re fangirling over and idolising. He had no problem flying over to visit A and have sex with her while his wife was heavily pregnant. And if he’s happy to cheat on his wife with A, who’s to say that he isn’t cheating on A? This community is full of underage, vulnerable girls, who he especially has made a point to befriend. Who’s to say one of you aren’t next?

We can’t make your decisions for you. We can’t tell you who to believe or who to trust. But what we can tell you is that B is not a good person and for your own personal safety, you should stay well away from him.

We will not be getting involved in his personal life or telling his wife because that isn’t our place to do so. We won’t be exposing any personal information either. We have only done this, and written this post, to make the tcc aware of the fact that you need to be careful of who you trust - and that B is not someone you should trust at all.

R & O

[notanothertcblog]

i'm new to this whole tcc thing, but it worries me how many blogs i see that are making up total lies just for likes and attention. it also gives other impressionable young people here "hope", which only puts their teacher in a difficult position. what do you think about it? it's ridiculous, right?

it’s crazy to me that it even happens. honestly, writing down what “happened” truly serves no positive purpose if it didn’t actually happen.

i use my blog as a diary of sorts. if i lie and tell people that i banged my tc, it’s not a faithful account of my life anymore…and what good is that? the people who would like that post don’t care about the real me — they only care about the story i’m making up.

lying could also (like you said) negatively affect the people who read the posts, by encouraging them to do things that they probably wouldn’t have done had they not been given that false confidence.

that then can negatively affect their teacher crush by forcing him to tell admin about the student, and then there’s a chance of disciplinary action and even less chance of a positive relationship developing…really, fake posts are quite the menace. it’s best (imo) to just take everything in the tcc with a boulder of salt.

sorry for the novel lol i got a little carried away

[tcc-critical]

stop 👏 promoting 👏 unhealthy 👏 relationships 👏

[tcc-critical]

I'm trying to stay out of the Drama but honestly you are all wasting your time and effort. That girl is stubborn, just leave it. She's an adult, she needs to deal with her own mess.

[tcc-critical]

PSA

I'm semi active here but I have a lot going on right now. So please keep me out of any drama. That being said, if you need advice or anything about your TC, you can always drop me a message.

[hopingtc]

can they please stop romanticizing teacher student relationships

[heavenlyvividreams]

cough: riverdale

[tcc-critical]

What do you think of false accusations in the comunity like what happened to imthatteacher

I have no idea what's been going on there tbh. But false accusations shouldn't happen.

[tcc-critical]

Hey, can I dm you about something? I could really use your opinion

Sure!

[reine-de-la-rose-deactivated201]

thoughts on a-girl-with-a-tc ?? 👀👀

I don’t like to comment on specific blogs. I don’t agree with what she’s doing but I won’t bash her for it.

Thank you for asking 💕

[nymphdaisy]

Hey heads up

Don’t actually try to seduce your teachers

Harmless crushes are fine, ruining someone’s life isn’t

(This seems like common sense but apparently it isn’t)

[heavenlyvividreams]

so tumblr is changing community guidelines which means no more sexual content available, whats this for the tcc? nothing

yall shouldnt be nasty about your tc’s

BUT there is nothing wrong with having feelings, emotions, etc. lets just not encourage our audience to act sexually upon the ppl who are supposed to protect us, k?

[tcc-critical]

The dangerous thing about the tcc is that they sometimes do not realize inappropriate behaviour. I know a lot of you are aware of the boundaries that your TC shouldn’t cross but there’s always a few people who actually don’t realize these boundaries and encourage others to pursue dangerous relationships.

[reine-de-la-rose-deactivated201]

Rant

Okay, this is just going to be a word of warning to the tcc. I didn’t think I was ever going to speak about my experiences having a tc on here, but that anon that was having a difficult time with their old tc has shaken me up, and I think I’d like to share.

I met my tc when I was 16, and he was 28. Everybody - and I do mean everybody - loved this man. He was charming, charismatic, cute and seriously intelligent. At the time, I was struggling a lot with trauma from my past and I was incapable of trusting men, especially men that had power over me. He was the first man in that kind of position that I trusted. My friend - a massive admirer of his - convinced me to speak to him about my past trauma. I did so, and I have never regretted anything more in my life.

At first it was fine - he reassured me, he was lovely and supportive, but then I found out that he’d told multiple other teachers (despite me specifically saying that I didn’t want anyone else to know). My entire history got put on my confidential notes (i.e. notes that all of my teachers could see) and when I came to him about it, angry as all hell, he immediately got defensive and said it wasn’t his fault, then effectively manipulated me into apologising, like it was my fault. Being the naïve teenager I was, I let it slide and started coming to him about my troubles again, because I had nobody else to talk to. I eventually told him something at a time where he was stressed, and he completely flipped out on me. He yelled, he said some shitty things and it shook me up. Then he ignored me for three weeks, and didn’t apologise until I came to him for one, and even then it was filled with excuses, like “all teachers are stressed at the end of the year”, “I was dealing with three other students at the time” etc. It’s true it was a stressful time for him, but that does not give him the excuse to flip out on me over something so personal, that I struggled with.

The point to me sharing this story is that I see a lot of you who have very toxic or otherwise strange relationships with your tcs, and I really want you all to remember that just because they’re your tc, just because they’re a teacher, it does not mean that they’re good people. Teachers can quite easily figure out if their students have crushes on them (like it or not, we’re not exactly subtle about it) and my tc used my feelings to manipulate me, by paying more attention to me than others, gaslighting me etc, and he knew exactly what he was doing. I’m not the first person he’s done it to either.

I love you all, but facts are a lot of you are still children in terms of maturity (ESPECIALLY those of you still in high school) and if you were to get into a relationship with your tc, it would most likely be incredibly unbalanced and toxic. Enjoy your childhoods, guys. Have this innocent crush on your teacher, blog about it if you want, but for the love of God, please do not act on anything until you’re an adult in mind as well as in the law. I know it feels like you’ll never get over them, but you will. It just takes time and distance. And if you do get into a relationship with them after you graduate and they’ve known you since you were a young teenager, please please consider that their intentions might not be so great. Teachers who have known you for a long time as a student don’t tend to suddenly develop feelings for you right after you graduate - they tend to be predators who have liked you for longer than the law said it’s okay to.

That being said, I have nothing against teacher-student relationships once the student has graduated, or age gap relationships (hell I’m in one right now!) but only when the teacher and student or older and younger partner are on equal footing. If you’re not then it’s unbalanced and unhealthy, and can quickly turn toxic.

That’s it, I guess. Stay safe. 💕