Tea and Snowflakes

Dragon-Womble, Reylo, Hannigram, Tunnellers. Deckerstar, Solvellan/ Aurum. Writer. Fangirl. Poppy. INFJ

[emospritelet]

Rumple or Belle :X

You meanie…

Making me choose between my babies :(

Obviously I love them both, but if it comes right down to it, Rumple. I would not have stuck with that shitshow for 7 years if it wasn’t for him. Besides, he had such a terrible lack of love for so long he needs all the love he can get

Also rawr

[teaandsnowflakes]

Omg that last gif. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

[cloudyfacewithjam]

[teaandsnowflakes]

His little flappy ears. 😭

[teaandsnowflakes]

[teaandsnowflakes]

Update to the saga that is Tea falling to peices.

Hi there. 

So I’ve been to therapy a few times. It is helpful, they do help me figure things out by adding a different perspective and opinion. And an educated mind. 

I have come to the conclusion that I am addicted to coffe shop guy and everything was one sided. 

Even though he’s been nothing but super fucking polite to me through all this crazy I feel like I need him to tell me to fuck off and to get out. 

I am staying away from the coffee shop and him. Though I may try and go in when he’s not working purely for the fact that the tea there is so much better than anything else in town. Everywhere else is either gross and the tea tastes like limescale or it’s so freaking loud that I can’t hear myself speak. 

Yes I could get a takeaway but I like to sit inside. Especially now that it’s getting colder and wetter, so going outside is not a luxury at the moment. 

On a differentish note, is it so bad that I just want a straight answer from the guy. 

Oh and another thing. My therapist suggested that I join some social clubs to meet new people. I live in the middle of nowhere, on the boarder to nowhere else, and I am heavily reliant on public transport as I cannot drive yet. Also as a massive introvert I think that it’s a stupid idea, I hate that introductory period of meeting new people. Small talk is hell. 

Ok I’m finished now. 

[teaandsnowflakes]

I started therapy last week.

After a friend of mine (my crush) noticed that I was having a bad time managing my mental health he suggested that I go see the therapist that he’d seen previously. 

I anxiously made an appointment and I had my first therapy session last week. 

It was not as scary as I thought it was going to be. It was emotionally draining but I felt balanced afterwards because I spoke to someone who was unbiased but also understood all the things that I am going through and knows that best way to help me back on the road to healing mentally. 

I think it was easier for me to take the leap in to therapy because my friend had been to see them too. (My ex once told me that I should see a therapist but somehow it just didn’t feel very caring compared to how my crush/friend worded it.) 

Oh, and this wasn’t planned or anything but as I was leaving therapy I saw my friend as he was coming across the carpark from where his mum works and we spent an hour wondering around town talking and it cheered me up to no end. 

[teaandsnowflakes]

How do you properly identify emtional pain?

For instance, physically I have pain in my elbow. I know this because when I move it it hurts. I can tell what kind of pain it is from a little examination. It’s not muscular or skeletal but a trapped nerve because of how it feels and what pain response I am getting when I poke my elbow. I also have figured out the source of the pain is likely from sleeping funny and trapping the nerve in my ulner. With the right treatment and some rest the pain will subside and go away on it’s own. Like with most other physical pains. 

So why do I have such trouble with figuring out what kind of mental pain I am in?I have gone through all the same steps. I do not know what kind of pain that I am in only that I am in it. I do not know where the source of my pain is coming from and with that I do not know where to start treating it and how. 

If you were to ask me what is wrong (on that deep emotional level) I would genuinly say I don’t know or I am not sure. Not because I am avoiding answering or I am looking for a way to deflect but because I do not know where to start. Or if what I think is the start is really the root of the problem. Or how it’s evolved in to this maze of uncertainty in which I am horribly lost in. 

I know I need help with my mental help but I don’t know where to begin. 

Does it stem from the breakdown of my 9&1/2 year relationship? 

Did this storm start brewing before then? 

I have made some progress in the past 18ish months with my mental health. I have actually had conversations with a friend about the tough stuff without completely shattering. And this is a HUGE thing for me, my normal way of reaching out to people was usually from behind a keyboard but he got me to talk things out face to face. Not everything but some small things and I am so thankful for him for it. 

[teaandsnowflakes]

Tea is having anxiety problems again.

There's this guy I'm interested in. We talk frequently face to face but it's mostly when he's working and we both work strange days so finding a day off together is hard. I should mention that he is not that great at answering messages.

We did spend the day together once and it was really great and I want to do it again. 

But here is the problem. 

I have tried to ask him out again but he is either busy or we haven't got the same days off; which is understandable. 

He's busy at work so I can't get the chance to ask him; messaging him doesn't work as he isn't great at reading them. 

or a new one that's come up is I have become emotionally unstable and have had to leave before I could ask him because I was on the brink of tears. 

I don't know what is causing it, I know that my anxiety is at play here but this is a whole other level of nerves. Im struggling to maintain my mood, I have broken down twice now ( not infront of him) and I just have this litany of "you're not worth it" and "He doesn't even like you." Even though there is evidence to the contrary. 

I have been advised by a mutual friend of ours that I should ask to talk to him face to face the next time I see him face to face. But I am so nervous to see him now because the last time I saw him I was on the literal verge of tears. The brave side of me wants to talk to him because then there would be some resolve and some closure to whatever way this goes and my muddled mind can focus on the next stress in my life. 

On the I don't know what's causing it front I am talking to a doctor to see if there is a physical symptom to all this because I apologise if this is TMI but I have been on my period for nearly 3 weeks now. So physical side of things is being looked at. And this is my mental side of things being looked at. 

[teaandsnowflakes]

Tonight by Viva La Bear. 

I just wanted to share a song from my friends band. 

[teaandsnowflakes]

Confused

Over the past few months I have become kind of friends with someone who works in a cafe that I frequent.

When I'm there he'll be chatty and we can talk for well over an hour if the shop is quiet. We make each other laugh and smile and we have alot of the same interests. So I started talking to him online. The thing is that online he barely talks to me. I know that he might be busy and he has more of a life than I do. I messaged him recently to set things straight between us and he's not replied.

I'm scared that his talking to me in person when I'm in the cafe is a polite facade because he's in a customer facing role and it would be rude to not interact with a customer. He is often equally chatty to other customers but I am usually the only one in there on my own.

I don't know what I'm going to say to him the next time I see him. The next time I'm going to be going in there is with my ex's sister her daughter so I could be safe to assume that I will simply get happy, smiley him and we'll have a brief cordial coversation where he asks me the same questions that he asks. (How are you? Up to much etc)

I know that I am being annoying with me messaging him more than he replies but I sometimes just can't help myself. I haven't messaged him since I asked him to straighten things out which was on Saturday but it's been longer since he's talked back to me.  

I'm just venting at this point. I'm getting tired of going in circles. But I can't seem to want to stop because I feel happy around him.

[dhauwjwncjsiwnxn]

finding out the heights of your internet friends is always the weirdest thing

[crutchie-morris]

reblog this with your height in the tags then we’ll all know

[teaandsnowflakes]

Tea needs to vent something

I'm pretty anxious about alot of things at the moment but the one thing that my brain has laser focus on is my kinda almost friendship with this guy I talk to whenever I go in to his coffee shop. At first it was wonderful, friendly conversation that could have lasted for more than an hour, we talked about our interests and what was happening with our week and so on and I would leave the shop feeling light and happy and practically high. We started chatting via social media and he suggested that I start playing this computer game the he likes and we also started talking about that as I asked him questions on how to play it. But then he stops replying to my messages and when I see him in person after he says sorry for not replying because he was busy. Which I believe. But there's that ridiculous part of my brain that tell me all the negative things like he's not interested in me or I'm being annoying and obtrusive. And even when I've pointed this out to him (via text) and apologised he's said nothing via text and then talks to me in person as if I didn't text him like some mad women. All I want is a straight answer from him, or for him to tell me to go away. It's just so hard. I keep going through this cycle of talking to him and feeling great, then messaging him, then feeling like crap and blocking him then seeing him in person and feeling happier again. I don't know what to do. When I saw him today I barely talked to him and I was very meek in my manner of speaking (I am also kinda ill atm) But he was the first one to say good morning to me today and he said my name which he's never done. But today instead of feeling a rush of endorphins I felt like I was going to break down and cry; thankfully I didn't

[introvertunites]

If you’re an introvert, follow @introvertunites​​.

[teaandsnowflakes]

Hoomans that are looking for a gas and electricity company in the UK.

As someone who lives on their own and has a sesonal job I need an affordable energy company. This is my first time ever paying bills so looking for somewhere was scary as I knew literally zilch. Thankfully, Utility Point are super affordable and you can develope credit with them to cover your bills if you can’t pay for whatever reason. 

They are WAY easier to navigate than British Gas. I’m still trying to escape the clutches of BG as they were the provider for this flat for the previous tennants.

Anyway: Here’s my go click speil. 

I've joined Utility Point and saved money on my energy. They provide a dedicated and personalised service and work together with their customers to ensure our utilities work around our lifestyle. If you join too we both get £25 credit towards our energy plus they actually reward loyalty! Use my link and get a quote today! https://www.utilitypoint.co.uk/?refer_token=Orange48901

[teaandsnowflakes]

Venting/anxiety woes

Due to a past relationship where I was a burden for my ex I have now started viewing myself as a burden to others (even though I probably am not) One specific case is someone I have only really just met. I only see this person once a week in the deli/cafe I frequent and have had a few conversations with him about various things and I've left our conversations feeling happy, for one that I am willingly talking to someone outside my social circle and talking to someone who I thought had an interest in me. But, once I tried to talk to him through social media channels that's when my anxiety kicked in. I know it's normal for people to take a while to respond to messages or whatever but I was essentially talking to thin air; which made my anxiety even worse. This has made me more tentative in talking to him face to face as I don't feel like I'm having a genuine conversation with him and that he's putting on a customer service facade. So I did a bit of a dumb thing and I asked him via a DM if he actually even liked me etc etc and that it wouldn't bother me either way (which is wouldn't as I barely know him). What's bothering me more is the face that he's not addressing it in any way. I saw him again today and he was polite to me in a customer service fashion but other than that he didn't talk to me and I didn't really talk to him to be honest. I was probably afraid of something he might say. I don't know how to get a response out of him without sounding needy. It wouldn't be apporpriate to say anything to him in person even if I was brave enough as he works in a busy public setting and I've never seen him outside of his work.

[angelrecipe-deactivated20180602]

people who complain about dinosaurs “not being scary anymore” because its been discovered they have feathers and are closely related to/ancestors of birds are so bizarre like

its not about how scary they are, they are/were real life animals and what matters is learning more about them, not how well they fit into your science fiction horror film lol

can you imagine a 13 foot chicken running at you with full intent to eat you??? thats fucking terrifying holy shit

[roachpatrol]

peacocks are synonymous with vain, frivolous beauty and they will attack cars. they will attack you while you try to get to your car. they’re like six feet of useless feathers and they will destroy you. imagine if they were carnivorous and had functional spurs. 

a t-rex could look like a gay disco ball and i guarantee that you would fucking book it if it had a problem with you

[thepioden]

listen

listen

have you ever met a swan

if anything the birdier they get the scarier they are

[dreverybodyilovedies]

Australia literally fought a war against giant birds AND FUCKING LOST

[hyena-butts]

@kidwithheadphones

[arumine-kaoru]

Overheard in the student lounge:

“Oh man, I can’t deal with birds ‘cause they’re dinosaurs and sometimes it’s like they get this glint in their eyes and they remember.”

“Have you ever interacted with a goose? ‘Cause those things are dicks.”

[niamhermind]

If chickens were still the size of a T-Rex we’d all be dead. No question.

[camwyn]

Feathered creatures that give some serious lie to the idea that feathered dinosaurs ain’t scary:

This is a bearded vulture, or lammergeier. It’s four feet long and has a nine foot wingspan and it eats bones.

This is a shoebill stork. It dropped the duck without biting down shortly after the picture was taken, but if it had decided not to-

… it could have been the end of the road for that duck.

This is the last thing a fish sees before a macaroni penguin eats it.

This is a secretary bird in the act of demonstrating to Lord Voldemort that he came to the wrong neighborhood, ese.

This is a goose.

This is a vulture.

This is a cassowary on the attack. 

Be glad I couldn’t find the actual gif of a pelican swallowing a fish, because it’s freakin’ Lovecraftian in its HEADS SHOULD NOT BEND THAT WAY factor. You’ll have to settle for the idea of a feathered dinosaur suddenly going GLORP and devouring its victims whole just like this lady here.

Steven Spielberg didn’t create these. These are the feet of an emu.

And this is what happens when a swan (this one is named Asboy; his father was Mr. Asbo, the first swan in the UK to get named after an anti-social behavior order in ‘honor’ of his tendency to attack boaters) decides it doesn’t like you. I should probably note that this one attacked a cow.

Respect the feathered dinosaur, yo.

[dduane]

Terrifying. The last two illustrate why you did not fuck around with the Children of Lir.

[la-vallett1]

I suspected that a dinosaur could have been feathered after I heard that a T-Rex is the chickens’ ancestor.

[dezzoi-deactivated20240303]

For those who think dinos aren’t cool because they’re feathered…whatever, mutherfuckers.  Evolution doesn’t give two shits what you think is cool or not.

[varanusindicus]

You showed a cassowary on the attack, but forgot to show what exactly it’s attacking with. Their feet are nearly identical to the Emu’s, except for one minor, teeny tiny detail: A five-inch claw for killing motherfuckers, raptor-style.

[bonesofthepast]

This is like the “fuck birds master post” and I love it because Honestly, Fuck. Birds.

[introvertunites]

If you’re an introvert, follow us @introvertunites​

[teaandsnowflakes]

I want your opinion.

OR at least I think it’s an opinion I want. 

If you’ve seen my last couple of posts then my minds not in a good place right now for some very good reasons. Though for the first time in writing this post I am not a sobbing emotional wreck. 

TLDR: Read this. 

Now he wants to know why I have a problem with him having sex with her. He doesn’t get the emotional and psychological pain it’s causing me. He gets that I might worry about accidents and infection possibly happening. But the simple reasoning that I DO NOT WANT HIM TO SLEEP WITH HER because it fucking hurts me is beyond him.

I think what I’m trying to say is why do I feel like I’m the wrong one?

I’m not crazy am I?

I would really appreciate someone else’s thoughts on this. 

Because I’m sick of going round in circles with these conversations I keep having with my bf.

[teaandsnowflakes]

Update.

Me and the bf have broken up. 

I tried to be the gf he wanted, I talked more about my problems, I went to the doctor and got antidepressants and I am looking in to counselling. 

But that obviously wasn’t enough. 

So I am stuck in this house with him and his parents until either I or they find me a place and I can move out and move on. 

Work and my friends are my only happy place right now. 

Right now there is a tug of war inside me that’s wanting to be cuddled by him and wanting to hiss and spit venomous words at him and her.

I have friends that will support me and offer me a place to stay but right now I just need to find my feet and hope there is a soft landing at the bottom of this pit.