Teacher's Wordplay

Do your professors say funny things? Well mine do. This is a blog dedicated to the strange witticisms and jokes that our educators provide us. Afterall you know what they say, teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theatre.

[teacherswordplay]

Interest groups have a sack of money with a '$' on it and go over to the Rayburn building, hand it to a staffer and say 'you just got your vote sir.'

Dave, November 8, 2012; on how he thought lobbying worked.

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I'm glad to be here, I feel like I'm running a refugee camp out of my house.

Dave, November 1, 2012; on all of his family coming over after Sandy.

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This is all doom and gloom. Can we talk about something bright and cheery, like the president's accumulation of war powers?

Dave, November 1, 2012, our first class back after Hurricane Sandy when all we want to do is ask him if his house in Jersey is destroyed.

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You can't go from making F-22s to making Ferbies.

Dave, October 25, 2012.

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Baby boomers are all back at HQ.

Dave, October 25, 2012.

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Only fools propose if they don't know what the answer is going to be.

Dave, October 25, 2012.

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The tanks were always ruuning.

Dave, October 18, 2012; on energy efficiency along the Inner German border.

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The Western Allies get together and say 'Fuck that, we have all the cards.'

Dave, October 18, 2012; on the end of the Cold War.

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If you were a scorpion in a bottle you wouldn't be like 'hey guys I just read Kant and I think we can all be friends if we all want to be friends' because that scorpion is the first one to die.

Dave, October 8, 2012.

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We're just going to help out dictators that are cool.

Dave, October 8, 2012; on the US policies towards autocracies.

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Don't get drunk because people will lose track of you and you end up in a corn field somewhere.

Dave, October 8, 2012.

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Oh wait, you have no choice. You HAVE to answer all eight questions.

Dave, October 4, 2012. On protocol for our test.

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A conversation between me and Dave about Standard Operating Procedure

Dave: Go to McDonald's and try to order a grilled cheese. They can't make it for you. Have you done this?

[I slowing raise my hand]

Dave (seeing my raised hand): Have YOU done this?!?

Me: Yes.

Dave: And they made it for you?

Me: Yes.

Dave: You're blowing my mind right now.

[teacherswordplay]

College professors drive Suburus to fit in; they wear jackets with elbow patches...to fit in.

Dave, October 1, 2012; on organizational logic.

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Yikes I'm going to throw away his t-shirt. Just kidding, I don't have a Che Guevara t-shirt. I have socks, they're way cooler.

Dave, September 27, 2012; on Che Guevara murdering children or basically causing the Cuban Missile Crisis or something

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Not the band, the bomb.

Dave, September 27, 2012; on the B-52

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If you're downloading...STOP!

Dave, September 27, 2012, on his presentation running slowly.