Moving on

[teachertrainig-blog]

Firsts

Today I had my induction for my new year at uni and the butterflies were out in force. I’m really excited to get started properly on Monday but am a bag of nerves at the same time. I have put so much into this chosen career path and I don’t want it to all be for nothing.

I am also a bag of nerves due to going on a date tomorrow night. It’s only the second one that I’ve been on since being dumped by my ex and there seems to be a spark between me and the guy but I’m not used to dating. Not when yph were friends with the ex first before starting a relationship 😬

I’m sure it’ll be really nice and just what I need to take my mind off my course. 🤞🤞

[teachertrainig-blog]

Anticipation.

So after waiting for nearly 5 months I’m a couple days away from starting my school direct teaching year.

I’m a little bit anxious as everything seemed to be going well last year until I let things get on top of me but I have realised that I need to throw myself into the course and keep talking to people. This year has been a bit of a rollercoaster so far but being able to pour everything into my teacher training will be amazing and I’m ready for this challenge.

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Believe

So today I competed in Pretty Muddy for race for life. To say I am not made to run is an understatement but I have got to say this cause (cancer research uk) is a cause close to my heart. I have two grandparents who have both been diagnosed, battles and survived cancer. I also know people who have unfortunately lost their battle against cancer. I felt very nervous this morning going to the event as I was by myself but had an amazing time and met some lovely new people. It will definitely become a yearly event for me.

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His loss

So April is upon us and hopefully the weather will start getting nicer 🤞.

My dad is back on Friday and I am so conflicted with how I feel. I used to love when he came home for a break from work but given everything that has happened I don’t even know what to think. We shall wait and see how that goes.

My ex is off playing happy families with his new girlfriend and looks far too comfortable for a one month relationship so there was something going on before but I don’t care.

This will be the last time I talk about him. I’m moving on. I cannot be bothered to sit and stew about some spineless boy any more because that’s what he is a boy not a man who is mature and adult. A cowerdly little boy who cannot own up to his mistakes.

Moving forward.

[teachertrainig-blog]

Moving On

It all comes in threes. That's what everyone says and this is so true of my life at the moment. Coming in to the New Year there were so many positives for me and in the space of 3 months everything has changed.

January - the New start for the year, this ended up being the month that my whole world changed. Now I know that sounds extremely dramatic but to find out, from thin air, that your dad had been seeing someone else for 2 years and had decided to leave your mother and get a divorce knocks you for 6. So  as I was still digesting this we move into...

February - After nearly 6 years of being in a relationship, and looking at houses only the month before my boyfriend decided that he wanted to call quits. He apparently had know since Christmas but due to the dad situation kept it secret. Even through my birthday and valentine's day. Now I was heart broken as two of the most important people in my life had lied to me and left but I pulled myself together and tried to move on, focusing on my teacher training and the idea of the job I had lined up for September.

Move into March and triple trouble appeared. First I failed my university placement which in turn meant I didn't have my job, 1 & 2. Then to find out my recent ex had started dating someone after 2 weeks brings in to question the WHOLE relationship as he never appeared to be the type of guy to move on so quickly so does that mean that he was cheating? It would explain the vague nature of the breakup.

 But after all that I have two choices. Sit and wallow in the past couple of months and spiral to the pits of despair or the preferable choice....

 Move on!

I cannot control what is going on with my dad, only he can make that decision and he knows my feelings at the moment.

In terms of university I am pulling my big girl pants on, as my sister would say, and am throwing myself into turning the degree around and improving.

Relationship wise, I am going to embrace the single life. I am in no rush to jump into a rebound relationship. I am dipping my toe into the dating scene and seeing what is out there but by no means committing myself to anything.