Teaching Kindness Through Books

Valerie Monforte  

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Wonder by R.J. Palacio

I have personally never read a book about a child with a physical deformity until I picked up this book. This book follows August Pullman on his first adventure into a real school. Because he was born with a facial deformity, something he doesn't describe to us, he has been homeschooled out his parents fear of him not fitting in. Finally, his parents agree to let him start the fifth grade at a private school in their town and it is nerve wracking for everyone, including the audience. This novel, interestingly enough, takes on the different perspectives of 6 different people; August, his sister Via, his best friend Summer, two classmates Jack and Justin, and Via's best friend Miranda. By using different perspectives we are able to see how one story can be seen many different ways. The story of August Pullman has its ups and downs. He is able to gain friends regardless of what he looks like, but not without having obstacles everyone knew were coming. At the end, for graduation, August receives an award for being courageous and kind. This is when his mother calls him a “wonder”. This is such a beautiful story to share with children because of how different it is from other books regarding the themes of bullying anf acceptance. August has to go through a lot because his deformity is not something that he can change, its something he has to deal with everyday. It is very important for children to read books about children with deformities and special needs, because they will encounter people like that and it is important for them to understand that not everyone is going to look the same, or “normal”. Some people are born that way and we just have to accept them for who they are and be kind. The main message from this book is to be kind to everyone because we never know the battles they are fighting at home or even in their head. Acceptance is such an important thing and everyone needs acts of kindness shown to know that they are valued and cared for. 

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Enemy Pie by Derek Munson

We, as teachers, do not just have to teach our children about the dangers of bullying, but also the importance of friendship. This book follows a young boy, whose name we are not given, who gains a new enemy when Jeremy Ross moves into his neighborhood. Jeremy didn't invite the boy to his trampoline, so he adds Jeremy to his enemy list. The boy goes to his father for advice on what to do when he has an enemy and the dad suggests making an “enemy pie” but in order for the pie to work, he has to spend a whole day with the enemy. The boy then invites Jeremy to play with him and then have pie with him after. When the dad serves the pie, the boy is scared it might be poisonous or it will make Jeremy's hair fall out so he tells him not to eat it. His dad starts eating it, so both boys do as well. Because the boy is so young, he just thinks nothing happened because his dad didn't do something right when he made the pie. This is my favorite part of the book because the boy says that he still doesn't know how to make the pie or how it works, “But I don’t know if I'll ever get an answer, because I just lost my best enemy”. It only took a day for the boy to realize that he just hadn't gotten to know Jeremy and so he had no reason to dislike him. For children, it's very easy to say they hate someone without knowing the consequences of their words. This story shows that they say things like this without knowing the real  meaning of the words. This book deals with friendship and acceptance. Jeremy was new in the area and the boy automatically ruled him as being his #1 enemy. The lesson the dad taught was that it was all in his head and he just needed to get to know him better. Just like we need to teach our students to see other people, to not judge a person by the way that they look, speak, act, dress, etc. and to give everybody a chance at friendship.

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The Hundred Dresses vs. Each Kindness

I read Each Kindness first and once I started reading The Hundred Dresses, I realized how similar these are in terms of their setting, characters and story line. To summarize in short Each Kindness, Maya is new in school and the first thing she does is smile at Chloe, but Chloe looks away. Everyday after that she ignored Maya or makes fun of her. It isn’t until Maya doesn't come back to school that Chloe realizes that she should have been nicer and maybe Maya would have stayed. This is extremely similar to The Hundred Dresses in the sense that Wanda is new to the school as well and Maddie and Peggy only talk to her to ask her about her dresses because they know shes going to say she has a hundred of them. Maddie is the one to realize how horrible they have been to her and realizes this only after Wanda has left the school because she was being made fun of. In both stories, one of the bullies realizes how mean they have been for no reason at all. Neither Wanda nor Maya did anything or said anything mean to anyone. They both went to school and tried to mind their own business. Maya and Wanda are also similar in the sense that they come from poor families. Maddie notices that the clothes that Maya wears seem to be second hand, although it is never confirmed if she is poor or not. Wanda, on the other hand, lives in a poor neighborhood in a small house with her brother and father. She does wear the same dress every day to school, but it always looks clean. This paves way for the girls to make fun of her because she always says she has a hundred dresses, but she only ever wears the one blue dress. The end lesson between both books is similar because both girls that are bullied leave the school. That is when the bullies realize that kindness would have gone a long way with the girls, especially since they were new and had no other friends. The Hundred Dresses is written with less illustrations as to be read by an older group of children. Each Kindness has pictures on every page so it is geared towards younger children with interests in looking at the pictures. Although both books are very similar, they are both great books to have in the classroom and to share with children on the topic of bullying and the importance of friendship.

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The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes

“She was never going to stand by and say nothing again. If she ever heard anybody picking on someone because they were funny looking or because they had strange names, shed speak up.” This is the lesson that Maddie learned at the end of this book. This, much like Each Kindness, end with a child never coming back to school because of how they were treated. In this book, Wanda is the girl no one actually likes and only gets noticed when other kids want to make fun of her. Wanda mostly get made fun of because she tells all the kids that she has a hundred dresses hanging in her closet. Kids think this is very funny because she wears the same dress to school everyday. Wanda also comes from a very poor family so they all know that there is no way that she could have a hundred dresses only to wear the same one everyday. Reading through this book, I got a feeling of sadness because of how many children there are being picked on at the moment because of situations like this. Where kids go to school with the same clothes, or hand-me-downs and can't do anything about it. Thats why I think books like this are so important. Books with these types of morals and lessons show children the possible outcome of bullying and picking on people who don’t have the same things they have or sound different, or have weird names. This book also did not end with Maddie and Peggy formally apologizing to Wanda for making fun of her. Wanda moved away and that was that. She also gifted the class with her drawings of the hundred dresses that she had drawn, which was her way of forgiving the ones who did her wrong. This story ends with the bullied being the strong one and forgiving the bullies. So it is also a story about forgiveness, something that is not always easy to do especially in the case of bullying but it is something that is possible. This book is not a full picture book, it is written for grades 1-4, but it could also be read by higher grades since it is on a topic that children of any grade should read on and learn about. The illustrations are beautiful and sure to catch a child eye.

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Each Kindness by Jacqueline Woodson

“Each kindness makes the world a little bit better” This is the lesson that the narrator, Chloe, has to learn the hard way. When a new girl comes to school, Maya, no one pays attention to her or is even nice to her. It isn’t until Maya is gone that Chloe wishes she had a second chance at kindness. What is really nice about this book is the lesson that their teacher presents to them about being kind to others. She says “This is what kindness does. Each little thing we do goes out like a ripple into the world.” She teaches this lesson by visually showing them how a small pebble affects a larger body of water. These words stay with Chloe as she knows she was not kind towards Maya and a little bit of kindness could have changed her life a lot. Another reason this book is on my list is because of the ending. It is not a happy ending because Chloe didn't get to undo her actions. Maya was gone and there was nothing Chloe could do to change the situation. This is a very important lesson to teach children especially at the reading age for this book, kindergarten – third. Not all of our actions can be fixed so we need to be very cautious of the things we say or how we act. In the case of new kids at schools, they are already afraid and to have nobody to talk to or even smile at them can really ruin their days or even their school experience. We, as teachers, don’t want to see any child being left out and we must do as much as we can to instill in our children the importance of being kind to one another because we all need friends. This book was illustrated by E.B Lewis and compared to other children's books, the illustrations are very realistic. This is important because it also helps children who read this to connect more to the book because they can see how similar the drawings are to people they know or even themselves.

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Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes

With so many children nowadays having very unique names, this book is perfect for teaching all children that all names are perfect. Chrysanthemum loved her name and she thought it was perfect until she went to school and everyone made fun of her name. She would go home crying that she hated her name, and everyday, her parents reminded her that everything about the name fit who she was. It wasn’t until a teacher who also had a very unique name made the class realize how beautiful unique names are. For years, we have seen parents start to give their babies very unique names such as “Blue Ivy”, “North”, “Apple”, “Cricket”, “Huckleberry”, etc. Most of these are celebrity baby names but we hear about these more often. Going back to the point that not everyone is going to have the same name. If they do that great but if they don’t thats okay too. Chrysanthemum LOVED her name until she was made fun of for it. This is such a great book to teach children about acceptance. Not only about names, but about other aspects that make children different from each other. At such a young age, children are learning to pick on other people and isolate them based on differences. If we can teach them that it is okay to be different and that no two people are ever going to be the same, then we are, hopefully, saving them from going on into middle and high school bullying other people because they are different. This is such a beautiful book not only to teach children to accept others but also about accepting your own differences. It teaches about self-love and that is the most important lesson I see. We have to learn to love ourselves first before we can get other people to love us.

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Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

Eyeopening. Heartbreaking. Perspective Changing. Just a few feelings to describe what this book has caused in people. This novel, turned Netflix series, has really changed how people view bullying, even the most smallest comments and actions can affect someone so much. This novel addresses grades 7 and up as it is a bit on the mature side, something not suitable for younger children. It is most definitely mind blowing and a tear-jerker. It all starts out with Hannah Baker, she is a transfer student and as being new to the school doesn't have friends. She befriends a few people, but they end up being the wrong kind. After many letdowns, heartbreaks and friendships lost, Hannah feels alone. The only person she has is Clay Jensen and she pushes him away. Ultimately, the only choice she believes she has is to commit suicide. She leaves behind a set a tapes, every tape detailing one of the reasons that pushed her to the edge. Many times, books sensor the reality of situations like this and children need to know what can happen when someone gets pushed too far where they feel like they only have one option and that option is suicide. This novel uses scenarios such as rumors spreading, sexual, physical, and emotional violence; all which are considered forms of bullying. I feel like not all children know what is considered bullying and they don’t understand the magnitude of their actions or words. This novel is a great book to provide to middle schoolers as it is usually around this time that people start being really mean to one another not realizing the impact their actions have. Besides the impact of bullying, it also shares the importance of friendship. Especially when children are so vulnerable and on the edge of breaking, a small act of friendship and kindness can go a long way, might even save a life.

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The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig

In this story, Brian feels invisible. Everyday, his classmates pretend like he doesn't exist and he continues every day on his own. That is until a new classmate, Justin, starts school and they begin a friendship that makes Brian feel visible again. From then on, he doesn't feel like an outsider anymore as at least one other person acknowledges his presence. I found this story very touching as there is always a child or two in every classroom that is always quiet and stays by himself. This could also refer to children who are isolated because of any differences. This book came about in an article in honor of DD (Developmental Disabilities) Awareness Month and honors children with disabilities. These children are exceptionally quiet but they also want to have friends and they want to belong. They may also feel invisible and at times attacked and bullied because of how different they are or look. This book is so great to show children that everyone needs a friend and like in the case of Brian, it just took one act of friendship to bring color into his world. This image is very vividly portrayed in this book. It's very discouraging to read and know that there are children all around the world that feel invisible and don’t feel included in their classrooms. School is a place for learning and growing, for children like Brian, if no one every makes you feel important, then that feeling of being invisible may never go away. This book shows a great lesson about friendship and inclusion, as well as the effects of indirect bullying. The constant exclusion of a child, or any person, is a form of bullying as it can potentially cause  short or long term psychological harm. Story books like The Invisible Boy is a very subtle way to get the message across to young children about the importance of friendship and inclusion for everybody.