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Am i that hard to love and understand? Am i that bad?

You make me feel everything and nothing at the same time and I wonder whether I could one day break in two, due to the emptiness and love colliding in my stomach.

// polarity j.d.m. (via poetryandthesea)

Not quite

I will tell you im okay I will tell you im not drowning I will tell you that it is progressing I will tell you im not overthinking anymore I will tell you im not 'that' broken anymore I will tell you the things you wanted me to tell Because these are the things you want me to say

yourdeusexmachina

ON PROMISES

They keep saying “Promises are made to be broken.” As if it is a fragile glass you need to put in a box with full of papers and styro to keep it from breaking. As if it is a new born baby you need to carry with all tenderness and care. Well, I do believe in that anyways. That promises are made to be broken. Aside from the fact that it was said repeatedly and I was convinced that it is indeed that way, I’ve already experienced it a lot of times, I am experiencing it and I think I will continue to experience it in the future.

Since I am a believer that promises are made to be broken, I don’t make promises that easy. Other people say the word “PROMISE” as if they are giving away coupon for free. As if they are throwing stones in the water and see how far it can go. But when I say PROMISE, it is always half whispered. Because I am so scared that it is fragile and I might break it the moment it comes out of my mouth. Promises are made to be broken and its broken pieces are made to cut through the heart of the one who received it.

When I was in high school, me and my friends PROMISED that we will keep in touch and we will not forget each other. They are my favorite people in the world. They know me inside out. I am always scared of losing people. I always say that to them. And then they will say in return, “I won’t be gone in your life, PROMISE.” Sometimes with the word promise or if there’s none, they make it sound as a promise. Then I will say, “I’ve heard that a lot of times but it doesn’t work that way.” Then they will say “I am different from them, I won’t be gone.” Then as stupid as it is, I will believe them. I will believe that at least, if I won’t see them, everything will still be the same. How we treat each other. How we shared stories and stupid thoughts. How it will not be awkward and silent when we see each other again after a long time. But the universe doesn’t favor you always. It doesn’t work that way.

People will always come and go to your life. People will make you happy for a while; you are hoping you did the same thing to them. People promising they will never leave you but they always do all the time. People promising they will never forget you but always do whenever something new was served on the table. People promising to keep you but always throw you once they are done on you. People promising to accept you but always push you away when they don’t benefit from you anymore. People telling you they love you but making you feel nothing after they lost their interest on you.

People make a lot of promises without thinking of their impact. They will reason out and say “Promises are made to be broken” but they never thought that people will be broken as well. Promises are supposed to be a friend to lean on but in the end, it turns out to be an enemy. It is a friend disguised in good words and temporariness of things. It is a traitor that in return will break itself and turn its back on you. The tiny shards of the broken promises are dangerous. It cuts though the different part of a person. It might cause wounds and scratches that will leave scars later on.

To tell you, I have a lot of invisible scars from the broken pieces of promises I received. Each one of them has names and most of them are named after you.

Im insecure, i will always be

Okay mask wearing again for tomorrow! 😅

#happy

Idk. I didn't even notice the time changing because darkness is the only thing around me

I wish. I will. Someday.

thequotejournals

You, of all people, deserve a happy ending. Despite everything that happened to you, you aren’t bitter. You aren’t cold. You’ve just retreated a little and been shy, and that’s okay.

Sylvain Reynard, Gabriel’s Inferno (via thequotejournals)

I wish :-(

Tatanggapin ko naba? Hindi naba talaga tayo magiging maayos? Wala naba talagang pag asa? Simple lang naman ang nais ah?

Back to being disconnected

It wont stop bleeding 🍃

Up all night

- "It's my favorite, the night" I said with all my might He asked, "why?" With silence, I responded to our fight He said "goodbye" I said "goodnight" He was angry that I didn't care Only then he thought he'd reconsider "When time comes Only then he will realize When time comes Only then he will consider" Ought to be okay That the pain will disappear one day I thought you were the knight of my night Thinking that it's okay to be up all night

Dark sunny Day

- One sunny day It just felt so dark Confused with my feelings I'm not sure if it marked Ambiguous weathers Are same with its feelings I came to you as a friend Why did i return with its seeings Im confused as fuck With what i feel I am asking for help To clear all this sheers I remembered, It was just a sunny day But it turns out to be a dark one Because I'm not sure when will you notice my care one day.

Accept mo nalang then accept ulit hayaan mo nalang sila, makakahanap kadin.

Kalye proverbs

I got you, self

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