Teddy Bear

Ted Spankoffski | 35 | he/him | single (my DMs are open😏) Death Counter: 28

[ted-spankoffski69]

Hey suckers!

I'm a hatchetfield-based bachelor looking for love. I'm 6'2", got a job at CCRP, and yes, I have been called a monster before. So if you're looking for a sexy sleezeball, who's a monster (in bed), shoot me a message!

Do also message me if you're not looking for a partner, I need something to do at work, so my ask box is always open. And to be honest, I mostly created this blog because my lil' bro told me my friends were on tumblr (and they didn't tell me, what the fuck)

edit: Uhm, so I didn't put "Teddy Bear" as the name of this blog, but whenever I try to change it, this yellow goat appears on my screen and when it's gone it's back to this? What does that mean?

edit 2: What does Death Counter mean?? Why can't I delete it? I'm so confused

{this is a Hatchetfield rp blog. I know y'all love to murder Ted and please continue doing that, but as a warning, if I feel like I won't enjoy writing the death, I probably won't answer it. Don't wanna get burnt out again. So just be creative with your murder! Also, some posts on this blog might get suggestive or include heavy topics and gore. I try to always tag and label everything, but just in case I forget about it, approach with caution if those things make you uncomfortable. (Also please point out to me if I forgot to tag something.)}

[ted-spankoffski69]

I wanna plan something special for Pete, you in?

@calaverage

You'll have to gimme more info first

[calaverage]

Well, I didn't get to celebrate his birthday with him since he was out at college, so I figured I'd throw him a belated one.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Eh... alright, I'm in. As long as it's not too much work.

[calaverage]

I mostly just need your input on if I have an idea that he'd fucking hate. I'll handle the rest.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Alright. Whatcha got, kid?

[calaverage]

I was thinking something spaced themed. Like a group stargazing thing or something.

[ted-spankoffski69]

He is a big nerd about space, but star gazing... that sounds kunda boring...

also it's very dependent on the weather. If it rains or even if it's just cloudy, it won't work.

Maybe think of a plan B- I mean something more entertaining.

[calaverage]

Hm...I might be able to convince one of the professors at the college to let us borrow a space there?

[ted-spankoffski69]

I guess that would work. Or you could look into presentations at the planetarium.

[calaverage]

There's a planetarium in Hatchetfield?

[ted-spankoffski69]

Yup. I think it belongs to the natural history museum or something. Our mom took us there a few times when Pete was basically still a toddler. Not sure if he even remembers it.

[calaverage]

Perfect. I'll see if they do bookings.

[ted-spankoffski69]

..If it's too expensive for you, I can cover it.

[calaverage]

Thanks man.

[ted-spankoffski69]

eh... he's my brother.

[calaverage]

Who you're allowed to admit you care about, you know?

[ted-spankoffski69]

yeah whatever.

[calaverage]

What? Too cool to admit you love family?

[ted-spankoffski69]

Don't you have better things to do?

[calaverage]

Not really. It's a slow day.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Then go call the planetarium or something

[calaverage]

You know you would think a man so attention starved would appreciate when he's actually given a compliment smh

[ted-spankoffski69]

For your information, I get a lot of attention and compliments.

[ted-spankoffski69]

I wanna plan something special for Pete, you in?

@calaverage

You'll have to gimme more info first

[calaverage]

Well, I didn't get to celebrate his birthday with him since he was out at college, so I figured I'd throw him a belated one.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Eh... alright, I'm in. As long as it's not too much work.

[calaverage]

I mostly just need your input on if I have an idea that he'd fucking hate. I'll handle the rest.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Alright. Whatcha got, kid?

[calaverage]

I was thinking something spaced themed. Like a group stargazing thing or something.

[ted-spankoffski69]

He is a big nerd about space, but star gazing... that sounds kunda boring...

also it's very dependent on the weather. If it rains or even if it's just cloudy, it won't work.

Maybe think of a plan B- I mean something more entertaining.

[calaverage]

Hm...I might be able to convince one of the professors at the college to let us borrow a space there?

[ted-spankoffski69]

I guess that would work. Or you could look into presentations at the planetarium.

[calaverage]

There's a planetarium in Hatchetfield?

[ted-spankoffski69]

Yup. I think it belongs to the natural history museum or something. Our mom took us there a few times when Pete was basically still a toddler. Not sure if he even remembers it.

[calaverage]

Perfect. I'll see if they do bookings.

[ted-spankoffski69]

..If it's too expensive for you, I can cover it.

[calaverage]

Thanks man.

[ted-spankoffski69]

eh... he's my brother.

[calaverage]

Who you're allowed to admit you care about, you know?

[ted-spankoffski69]

yeah whatever.

[calaverage]

What? Too cool to admit you love family?

[ted-spankoffski69]

Don't you have better things to do?

[calaverage]

Not really. It's a slow day.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Then go call the planetarium or something

[ted-spankoffski69]

I wanna plan something special for Pete, you in?

@calaverage

You'll have to gimme more info first

[calaverage]

Well, I didn't get to celebrate his birthday with him since he was out at college, so I figured I'd throw him a belated one.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Eh... alright, I'm in. As long as it's not too much work.

[calaverage]

I mostly just need your input on if I have an idea that he'd fucking hate. I'll handle the rest.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Alright. Whatcha got, kid?

[calaverage]

I was thinking something spaced themed. Like a group stargazing thing or something.

[ted-spankoffski69]

He is a big nerd about space, but star gazing... that sounds kunda boring...

also it's very dependent on the weather. If it rains or even if it's just cloudy, it won't work.

Maybe think of a plan B- I mean something more entertaining.

[calaverage]

Hm...I might be able to convince one of the professors at the college to let us borrow a space there?

[ted-spankoffski69]

I guess that would work. Or you could look into presentations at the planetarium.

[calaverage]

There's a planetarium in Hatchetfield?

[ted-spankoffski69]

Yup. I think it belongs to the natural history museum or something. Our mom took us there a few times when Pete was basically still a toddler. Not sure if he even remembers it.

[calaverage]

Perfect. I'll see if they do bookings.

[ted-spankoffski69]

..If it's too expensive for you, I can cover it.

[calaverage]

Thanks man.

[ted-spankoffski69]

eh... he's my brother.

[calaverage]

Who you're allowed to admit you care about, you know?

[ted-spankoffski69]

yeah whatever.

[calaverage]

What? Too cool to admit you love family?

[ted-spankoffski69]

Don't you have better things to do?

[ted-spankoffski69]

I wanna plan something special for Pete, you in?

@calaverage

You'll have to gimme more info first

[calaverage]

Well, I didn't get to celebrate his birthday with him since he was out at college, so I figured I'd throw him a belated one.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Eh... alright, I'm in. As long as it's not too much work.

[calaverage]

I mostly just need your input on if I have an idea that he'd fucking hate. I'll handle the rest.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Alright. Whatcha got, kid?

[calaverage]

I was thinking something spaced themed. Like a group stargazing thing or something.

[ted-spankoffski69]

He is a big nerd about space, but star gazing... that sounds kunda boring...

also it's very dependent on the weather. If it rains or even if it's just cloudy, it won't work.

Maybe think of a plan B- I mean something more entertaining.

[calaverage]

Hm...I might be able to convince one of the professors at the college to let us borrow a space there?

[ted-spankoffski69]

I guess that would work. Or you could look into presentations at the planetarium.

[calaverage]

There's a planetarium in Hatchetfield?

[ted-spankoffski69]

Yup. I think it belongs to the natural history museum or something. Our mom took us there a few times when Pete was basically still a toddler. Not sure if he even remembers it.

[calaverage]

Perfect. I'll see if they do bookings.

[ted-spankoffski69]

..If it's too expensive for you, I can cover it.

[calaverage]

Thanks man.

[ted-spankoffski69]

eh... he's my brother.

[calaverage]

Who you're allowed to admit you care about, you know?

[ted-spankoffski69]

yeah whatever.

[ted-spankoffski69]

I wanna plan something special for Pete, you in?

@calaverage

You'll have to gimme more info first

[calaverage]

Well, I didn't get to celebrate his birthday with him since he was out at college, so I figured I'd throw him a belated one.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Eh... alright, I'm in. As long as it's not too much work.

[calaverage]

I mostly just need your input on if I have an idea that he'd fucking hate. I'll handle the rest.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Alright. Whatcha got, kid?

[calaverage]

I was thinking something spaced themed. Like a group stargazing thing or something.

[ted-spankoffski69]

He is a big nerd about space, but star gazing... that sounds kunda boring...

also it's very dependent on the weather. If it rains or even if it's just cloudy, it won't work.

Maybe think of a plan B- I mean something more entertaining.

[calaverage]

Hm...I might be able to convince one of the professors at the college to let us borrow a space there?

[ted-spankoffski69]

I guess that would work. Or you could look into presentations at the planetarium.

[calaverage]

There's a planetarium in Hatchetfield?

[ted-spankoffski69]

Yup. I think it belongs to the natural history museum or something. Our mom took us there a few times when Pete was basically still a toddler. Not sure if he even remembers it.

[calaverage]

Perfect. I'll see if they do bookings.

[ted-spankoffski69]

..If it's too expensive for you, I can cover it.

[calaverage]

Thanks man.

[ted-spankoffski69]

eh... he's my brother.

[ted-spankoffski69]

I wanna plan something special for Pete, you in?

@calaverage

You'll have to gimme more info first

[calaverage]

Well, I didn't get to celebrate his birthday with him since he was out at college, so I figured I'd throw him a belated one.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Eh... alright, I'm in. As long as it's not too much work.

[calaverage]

I mostly just need your input on if I have an idea that he'd fucking hate. I'll handle the rest.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Alright. Whatcha got, kid?

[calaverage]

I was thinking something spaced themed. Like a group stargazing thing or something.

[ted-spankoffski69]

He is a big nerd about space, but star gazing... that sounds kunda boring...

also it's very dependent on the weather. If it rains or even if it's just cloudy, it won't work.

Maybe think of a plan B- I mean something more entertaining.

[calaverage]

Hm...I might be able to convince one of the professors at the college to let us borrow a space there?

[ted-spankoffski69]

I guess that would work. Or you could look into presentations at the planetarium.

[calaverage]

There's a planetarium in Hatchetfield?

[ted-spankoffski69]

Yup. I think it belongs to the natural history museum or something. Our mom took us there a few times when Pete was basically still a toddler. Not sure if he even remembers it.

[calaverage]

Perfect. I'll see if they do bookings.

[ted-spankoffski69]

..If it's too expensive for you, I can cover it.

[ted-spankoffski69]

I wanna plan something special for Pete, you in?

@calaverage

You'll have to gimme more info first

[calaverage]

Well, I didn't get to celebrate his birthday with him since he was out at college, so I figured I'd throw him a belated one.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Eh... alright, I'm in. As long as it's not too much work.

[calaverage]

I mostly just need your input on if I have an idea that he'd fucking hate. I'll handle the rest.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Alright. Whatcha got, kid?

[calaverage]

I was thinking something spaced themed. Like a group stargazing thing or something.

[ted-spankoffski69]

He is a big nerd about space, but star gazing... that sounds kunda boring...

also it's very dependent on the weather. If it rains or even if it's just cloudy, it won't work.

Maybe think of a plan B- I mean something more entertaining.

[calaverage]

Hm...I might be able to convince one of the professors at the college to let us borrow a space there?

[ted-spankoffski69]

I guess that would work. Or you could look into presentations at the planetarium.

[calaverage]

There's a planetarium in Hatchetfield?

[ted-spankoffski69]

Yup. I think it belongs to the natural history museum or something. Our mom took us there a few times when Pete was basically still a toddler. Not sure if he even remembers it.

[ted-spankoffski69]

I wanna plan something special for Pete, you in?

@calaverage

You'll have to gimme more info first

[calaverage]

Well, I didn't get to celebrate his birthday with him since he was out at college, so I figured I'd throw him a belated one.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Eh... alright, I'm in. As long as it's not too much work.

[calaverage]

I mostly just need your input on if I have an idea that he'd fucking hate. I'll handle the rest.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Alright. Whatcha got, kid?

[calaverage]

I was thinking something spaced themed. Like a group stargazing thing or something.

[ted-spankoffski69]

He is a big nerd about space, but star gazing... that sounds kunda boring...

also it's very dependent on the weather. If it rains or even if it's just cloudy, it won't work.

Maybe think of a plan B- I mean something more entertaining.

[calaverage]

Hm...I might be able to convince one of the professors at the college to let us borrow a space there?

[ted-spankoffski69]

I guess that would work. Or you could look into presentations at the planetarium.

[ted-spankoffski69]

I wanna plan something special for Pete, you in?

@calaverage

You'll have to gimme more info first

[calaverage]

Well, I didn't get to celebrate his birthday with him since he was out at college, so I figured I'd throw him a belated one.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Eh... alright, I'm in. As long as it's not too much work.

[calaverage]

I mostly just need your input on if I have an idea that he'd fucking hate. I'll handle the rest.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Alright. Whatcha got, kid?

[calaverage]

I was thinking something spaced themed. Like a group stargazing thing or something.

[ted-spankoffski69]

He is a big nerd about space, but star gazing... that sounds kunda boring...

also it's very dependent on the weather. If it rains or even if it's just cloudy, it won't work.

Maybe think of a plan B- I mean something more entertaining.

[ted-spankoffski69]

I wanna plan something special for Pete, you in?

@calaverage

You'll have to gimme more info first

[calaverage]

Well, I didn't get to celebrate his birthday with him since he was out at college, so I figured I'd throw him a belated one.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Eh... alright, I'm in. As long as it's not too much work.

[calaverage]

I mostly just need your input on if I have an idea that he'd fucking hate. I'll handle the rest.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Alright. Whatcha got, kid?

[ted-spankoffski69]

I wanna plan something special for Pete, you in?

@calaverage

You'll have to gimme more info first

[calaverage]

Well, I didn't get to celebrate his birthday with him since he was out at college, so I figured I'd throw him a belated one.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Eh... alright, I'm in. As long as it's not too much work.

[ted-spankoffski69]

I wanna plan something special for Pete, you in?

@calaverage

You'll have to gimme more info first

[ted-spankoffski69]

[Ted is stopped in the streets by a woman he doesnt fully recognise, she looks somewhat familiar]

Hi I'm so sorry, Ted is it?

@sicklysweet23

Depends on who's asking.

[sicklysweet23]

My sister charlotte? She said she works with you?

[Morgan holds out a thermos)

She said you... left it in our house? She just asked me to return it, she's busy at the moment.

Sorry if this is weird or you're the wrong person

[ted-spankoffski69]

[Ted quickly grabs the thermos and stows it away without commenting on it.]

Yeah, I'm Ted.

Are you visiting her right now?

[sicklysweet23]

Just moved in, finished college and needed somewhere to stay will I'm figuring my shit out, I'm living with her and Sam

[ted-spankoffski69]

Ah...

[Ted doesn't sound very happy about it, but it's also hard to tell if he even cares at all.]

And you're planning to stay with them?

[sicklysweet23]

I am at the moment yes, her husband doesn't seem to want me the in the house very much but he has been really lovely, he's trying to find me a roommate, actually he suggested this girl- I'm sorry, I'm telling you all of this and you don't even know me, I'm Morgan.

[She holds out her hand to shake]

[ted-spankoffski69]

Uh-huh..

[Ted looks at her hand and shakes it half-heartedly.]

Sam is an asshole. He's anything but lovely.

[sicklysweet23]

Oh. No one else I've met has that opinion.

Do you know many people around here?

[ted-spankoffski69]

Yes. I've been living here all my life, and it's not a very big town.

[sicklysweet23]

That's cool, um you might not be the right age but do you know a Zoey Chambers?

[ted-spankoffski69]

Never heard of her.

[ted-spankoffski69]

Hi👋

Heard you're having a man stay over at your house? Not very appropriate. Just letting you know he does have him own him so no need to be led into sin!

@onlyonemansgirl

Okay, first of all, that man is a relative of mine. Very sinful of you to imply that I'd fuck him.

Secondly, I still have sex with men. Often. Without marrying them. And also women who I'm not married to. And women who are married to other men. And I fucking enjoy it.

[onlyonemansgirl]

Do not talk to me like that ever again thank you ever much. I do not appricate it. I am trying to be helpful and I would like if I didnt have to be abused because of it. ☹

I will be talking to Peter about this

[ted-spankoffski69]

Fuck. Shit. Cock and balls. Sex. Masturbating.

[onlyonemansgirl]

You are 35 years old. Please be more mature. .

[ted-spankoffski69]

You're a teenager. Be more horny.

[onlyonemansgirl]

I am able to control my urges. If I had them. Which I don't. Ew.

[ted-spankoffski69]

I bet you're secretly a real dirty girl. It's always the repressed ones that are the kinkiest.

[onlyonemansgirl]

That's wrong! Who told you that? They're lying. I'm not repressed. I know lots about the world. Enough to know that I do not care for many worldly evil things. I don't even know what kinkiest means so there. I can't be.

[ted-spankoffski69]

If you want, I can explain to you what kink is.

[onlyonemansgirl]

I DONT THINK I WANT THAT! Thank you 🥰🥰

Do you need some holy water?

[ted-spankoffski69]

A shame. You'd probably be into it.

I'm fine. I've got a working faucet.

[ted-spankoffski69]

[Ted is stopped in the streets by a woman he doesnt fully recognise, she looks somewhat familiar]

Hi I'm so sorry, Ted is it?

@sicklysweet23

Depends on who's asking.

[sicklysweet23]

My sister charlotte? She said she works with you?

[Morgan holds out a thermos)

She said you... left it in our house? She just asked me to return it, she's busy at the moment.

Sorry if this is weird or you're the wrong person

[ted-spankoffski69]

[Ted quickly grabs the thermos and stows it away without commenting on it.]

Yeah, I'm Ted.

Are you visiting her right now?

[sicklysweet23]

Just moved in, finished college and needed somewhere to stay will I'm figuring my shit out, I'm living with her and Sam

[ted-spankoffski69]

Ah...

[Ted doesn't sound very happy about it, but it's also hard to tell if he even cares at all.]

And you're planning to stay with them?

[sicklysweet23]

I am at the moment yes, her husband doesn't seem to want me the in the house very much but he has been really lovely, he's trying to find me a roommate, actually he suggested this girl- I'm sorry, I'm telling you all of this and you don't even know me, I'm Morgan.

[She holds out her hand to shake]

[ted-spankoffski69]

Uh-huh..

[Ted looks at her hand and shakes it half-heartedly.]

Sam is an asshole. He's anything but lovely.

[sicklysweet23]

Oh. No one else I've met has that opinion.

Do you know many people around here?

[ted-spankoffski69]

Yes. I've been living here all my life, and it's not a very big town.

[ted-spankoffski69]

[Ted is stopped in the streets by a woman he doesnt fully recognise, she looks somewhat familiar]

Hi I'm so sorry, Ted is it?

@sicklysweet23

Depends on who's asking.

[sicklysweet23]

My sister charlotte? She said she works with you?

[Morgan holds out a thermos)

She said you... left it in our house? She just asked me to return it, she's busy at the moment.

Sorry if this is weird or you're the wrong person

[ted-spankoffski69]

[Ted quickly grabs the thermos and stows it away without commenting on it.]

Yeah, I'm Ted.

Are you visiting her right now?

[sicklysweet23]

Just moved in, finished college and needed somewhere to stay will I'm figuring my shit out, I'm living with her and Sam

[ted-spankoffski69]

Ah...

[Ted doesn't sound very happy about it, but it's also hard to tell if he even cares at all.]

And you're planning to stay with them?

[sicklysweet23]

I am at the moment yes, her husband doesn't seem to want me the in the house very much but he has been really lovely, he's trying to find me a roommate, actually he suggested this girl- I'm sorry, I'm telling you all of this and you don't even know me, I'm Morgan.

[She holds out her hand to shake]

[ted-spankoffski69]

Uh-huh..

[Ted looks at her hand and shakes it half-heartedly.]

Sam is an asshole. He's anything but lovely.