( * singing sirens. )

teddy blake — ❝ the only thing i know is this: i am full of wounds and still standing on my feet.

[holtassists-blog]

i use my grand iq to decide what lip gloss to wear in the morning

[intcmperance]

I was about to say that you’d be out of your mind if you chose this conversation over possibly winning over Jessica Alba. You’d be one of the few who actually enjoy speaking with me and I can’t help but be surprised. Regardless of what you’ve done, you can always improve and strive to be a better person. Your past doesn’t define who you are and who you want to be. Despite what you may say, I still think you’re angel material. Geeze, you say “chill” a lot, have you realized that? Oh, come on, I know when a person is flirting with me.. okay, fine, maybe I don’t but I’m slowly getting the hang of it. If you can get me a Teddy dictionary then I’ll give you a light bulb. Not my precious one, of course, but it’ll be same brand and last just as long. I’ve been told by far too many people that I never know when to quit talking, so with that being said, rambling is kind of what I do best. I tend to avoid talking to people because if I do, I’ll either end up embarrassing myself or putting them to sleep. It’s true; my coworker fell asleep while I tried to explain the importance of purchasing games online. There’s been a ton of cases where someone would go to buy a video game in a store, bring it home, and then the CD-key is already in use. Why waste all that time when you can buy the game online, hassle free? Anyways, yes, you are slowly making your way up to being more “wow” than my light bulb. It’s going to take some time, but if you keep being, well, you, then you’ll surpass the inanimate object sooner or later. Also, I would appreciate it if you could “chill” with your face, because I’m feeling disrespected just by looking at you.

[teddystfu]

You're cute but, unfortunately, not cute enough that I'd blow off the chance to wife up Jessica Alba. I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't enjoy speaking with you even if you do speak quite highly of inanimate objects. Strive to be a better person, eh? Would cleaning out Winston's cage more than once every two weeks be a good example? Or keeping the guinea from peeing on my brothers bed? I feel like that might get me past the golden gates, for sure. Okay, fair enough. But I'll have you know "chill" happens to be one of my favorite words. It also happens to be the word I use a lot when I'm nervous.... Or whatever. Pft, I can assure you you're very bad at telling when a person is flirting with you. Like terrible at it, actually. But as long as you're slowly getting the hang of it, I could work with that. I'm a pretty patient guy after all. I'd have to actually write a Teddy dictionary first... But I'll be sure to get it to 'ya. Especially if I'm getting one of these magical light bulbs in return. Wow. Jesus, dude. Alright, alright the award for best rambler goes to you for sure. You've definitely earned it, dude. Although it was slightly endearing watching you go on about this incredibly important issue. But that also might just be because I like the sound of your voice. You could possibly read me the phonebook and I'd still feel pretty.... chill. Again with this "slowly" nonsense. I don't think the light bulb has ever called you an angel or complimented your face, therefore I feel I should be better than this precious light bulb by now. Ah, I'm not too sure how to chill with my face. Plus if my not so chill faces makes you this smiley and such then I don't think I'd wanna chill with it even if I could.

[frckgraham-blog]

Why is dickshit still your default comeback? Like, dude, we’ve known each other how long and you’re still calling me that? Also, you don’t look like Bradley Cooper in any universe ever. Uh, I’m attractive, fuckass. But anyways, I’m not into dudes, man. You’re attractive…maybe? But nah. Not for me.

[teddystfu]

Still such a shame you haven't discovered the wonderful world of dudes, I could even show you around. Teach you some tricks about the dicks. It would've been a fun time, Graham. Why must you go and ruin all the fun with your heterosexuality?

[teddystfu]

{ TEXT // LANCELOT }

Lancelot: guess what? i'm broke af too :)

Teddy: why do u want me to die

[intcmperance]

I don’t know what to say asides from thank you, I think? God, I’m so bad at this, so feel free to drop this conversation whenever you want. You’re the one who has the appearance of an angel. I mean, have you looked at yourself lately? Total angel material. Shut up as in shut up? I’m still not quite sure if you want me to actually stop talking. I don’t see why you’d be surprised about me knowing the meaning of such a simple word. It’s not like I barely go outside, avoid talking to people and fail to understand the lingo. I talk to people every day but it just so happens that I’m terrible at it, so I keep to myself mostly. No way. My face is.. my face. Your face is like, wow. I’m not sure how to describe it, but I assure you, that was definitely a good wow.

[teddystfu]

I wouldn't drop this conversation even if Jessica Alba decided she wanted to dump whoever the hell she married and was currently out looking for a new husband. Well okay, I probably would but still chill out. Believe it or not, I quite like talking to you. How sweet of you to say but even with this face, I can't say all the shitty stuff I've done would ever qualify me as angel material. You on the other hand, have most likely got this angel thing in the bag. The only not so chill thing about you so far is that you're pretty oblivious when it comes to someone trying very, very hard to flirt with you. But still I don't think that would keep you from the angel thing. Jesus, dude. Shut up as in I really want you to keep talking, okay? I'll be sure to get you a Teddy dictionary sometime so I don't have to explain these things in the future. I think you're not as bad at this whole communicating thing as you think you are. We've gotten this far and I've already compared you to an angel far too many times now, so. In fact, it might be me who needs lessons on it. Mostly on how to stop rambling. Your face is your face, this is indeed true. But I think that's what makes me like it, if that makes any sense. Oh. Well, I-- Oh. Thanks, uh, I.. Was not expecting you to say that really, um. Does this, y'know, mean I'm getting closer to being more "wow" than the light bulb or?

[teddystfu]

&— ❝stop crying, you're an adult

"this is a new side of you, so full of fear."     

     Hanging up the phone proved to be a more difficult task than Teddy thought, in the end he simply locked it before dropping it on the bed. His entire body by this point was trembling so bad he felt like he was on permanent vibrate mode. For a few measly seconds it feels like he's just in a nightmare and even goes as far as to pinch his arm and remind himself it's only scary because it's not real.

   But he doesn't wake up.

 And this is real.

             Suddenly Teddy's throat feels dry and scratchy and he can practically feel the thumping of his heart in his ears, it's beating so fast against his ribcage it almost hurts. His hand immediately clutches at the left of his chest as he squeezes his eyes shut and tries his best to remember how to breathe properly. "C'mon, god, not now.. Not right fucking now." He mumbles harshly under his breath as his fingers grip tighter over the fabric of his shirt.

              He feels like vomiting, screaming, and he's still shaking so bad he feels like he's gonna explode. The feeling of needing to cry builds up in his chest until he finally drops his arms into his lap and rests his head against his forearms, curling into a ball and trying his damn best to calm down. "Stop. Stop, stop, stop. People need you. Get it to-fucking-gether. Grace needs you. Jackson..... God, Teddy, he fucking needs you." His voice is trembling and coming in weak whispers and his chest feels tight and full and he feels like he's gonna pass out.

                   Finally feeling like he can catch his breathe for a second he takes that time to stand on wobbling feet and reaches with a shaky hand for his keys on his bed side table. "Jesus Christ." He breathes as he runs a hand over his face and pinches the bridge of his nose. His chest still feels tight and he still feels like he could fall over at any second but he grabs for his phone anyways and makes his way downstairs. He doesn't bother waking Silas and simply opens the door as quietly as he can manage. The cool air outside whips around him and ruffles his hair and for a second he feels numb, like he can't feel anything and then he remembers Jackson telling him that yesterday and he gulps. "Jackson, you fucking idiot." He seethes and allows himself to feel angry for a moment before he quickly goes back to feeling like he's gonna fall apart as he reaches his car.

           Sliding into the driver's seat the lump in the throat feels bigger than it was before and it hurts to swallow, he slides his hands up the wheel slowly and that's the moment he lets out the scream that feels like it's been trying to claw it's way out since he got the phone call. And he barley registers the tears escaping from his eyes and it's not even like he's crying it's more like he's heaving dry sobs and he's still struggling to catch his breathe. And he knows that Grace needs him and he knows that Jackson does, too, but for a few moments he decides it's okay to be a little selfish. 

[nopegrace-blog]

Visit Original Link

[teddystfu]

teddy's spotify ♫

007. lullaby by misterwives

in your eyes lies my smile  moments spent here are so fragile

[teddystfu]

PHONE CALL ✆ T E D D Y

Grace: Beyond trying to hold her tears in, Grace's words were muffled despite how clear she tried to get them out. "He w-was okay, Teddy, he was fine. Everything was good and then, all of a sudden, it...wasn't." Sniffling, she wiped away her tears on the back of her hand, but it made no difference as they kept falling down her face. "He was fine and then he passed out and just -- no. I'm still at his place, oh God, they wouldn't let me ride with him. I'm not family and I'm not his girlfriend or someone they saw as significant enough, but- but," nearly cursing under her breath, Grace managed to stop herself, "I couldn't go with him, but I need to be there, Teddy, I need to get there and I don't know if I can drive right now. You're not s-supposed to drive when you're emotional."

Teddy: His entire body was shaking and his hands were beginning to tremble so badly that it was becoming difficult to hold the phone, "Okay. O-okay." Scooting to the side of his bed, he tried to keep his legs from shaking so he could stand without wobbling but he couldn't quite get himself to calm down yet. "I'll come get you, Grace. Don't.. Just stay there and.. I'll be there soon, okay?"

[teddystfu]

PHONE CALL ✆ T E D D Y

Grace: Shaking her head when he asked where Jackson was, the realization not yet hitting her that Teddy couldn't see her while she clung to the phone, she muttered a delayed "no." Taking a deep breath, she tried again, "He's not here, Teddy. They took him... The paramedics, they- they took him to the hospital and I don't know what to do. What can I do? They took him away and I don't even know if he's going to be okay," her chest heaved as she sobbed between words, "They said he's going to be okay, but they're just paramedics, they don't know if he's going to be okay."

Teddy: Clutching onto his phone so tightly now Teddy worried if he might break it but he didn't care at this point."Th-the paramedics?" Teddy could feel the palms of his hands sweating and he could feel himself shaking already. "What happened? I thought you got him? I thought he was fine, it was just a bad trip.. Wh-what I don't understand, Grace. I don't." Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat, he tried to catch his breath and calm down. "Are you at the hospital now?"

[teddystfu]

PHONE CALL ✆ T E D D Y

Grace: "Teddy?" Grace could hardly get his name out without it catching in her throat, "I can't do this alone... I really- I really need you here."

Teddy: Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Teddy finally sat up bringing the phone with him. "Gracie? Wha--" His brows furrowed in both confusion and concern. "What's going on? Are you okay? What happene--" Suddenly remembering the texts he received last night, Teddy perked up a bit more and held the phone a little tighter. "Grace.... Where's Jackson? Is he still with you?"

[teddystfu]

PHONE CALL ✆ T E D D Y

Grace: [ phone ringing ]

Teddy: Waking up to his ringtone nearly breaking his eardrums was not Teddy's favorite way of greeting the day. But that was probably what he got for leaving his phone right on his pillow. With an irritable groan and without bothering to look at the caller id, he swiped his thumb lazily over the screen and held it up to his ear. "Wha' do you wan'?"

[wtvrdakota-blog]

You’re rude as hell. Pretending to appreciate my efforts simply won’t cut it. I’d go out of my way to buy you a Christmas present, a limited edition one may I add, and not get a single sign of gratitude. People are dying, starving, crying and you’re lucky enough to get an awesome present and be friends with me. What more could you possibly ask for? Uh, Mother Theresa would definitely do that. You only know her name, not her story. It’s one of those things the government hides from us. Wake up, America. Rather naughty, huh? Don’t you think that’s a bit of an understatement? If I go to hell, I’m taking you down with me. You need to share the blame for my sins. Seeing as, it’s partially your fault. I was a sweet girl, y’know. Once upon a time, in a land far, far away. C’mon, she only loves you because she doesn’t have to spend time with you. I, however, must suffer on a day to day basis. Pretending to be friends with my mortal enemy is exhausting. Emotionally and physically. Oh, wait, on second thought, I just remembered that I’m practically a scientist. I mean, I’m not fully qualified yet, but you’ll take my word for it, won’t you? I’m sure you wouldn’t mind offering up your body to me. 

[teddystfu]

I'm also hot as hell so I figure it makes up for my rudeness. And it must considering you've stuck around this long, right? I hardly doubt you'd ever go out of your way for anything for me, especially a Christmas present. In fact I'm pretty sure last year you gave me a banana container or something like that. I'll probably just put the Cullen's on my Christmas list to Santa and I know he'll hook me up for sure. Who needs you when I've got Jolly Old Saint Nick, am I right? Nah, you misunderstood. What I was trying to say was that Mother Theresa would never give up Edward and would keep him in her nasty, greedy little claws. I really hope my grandmother never hears me talking about Mother Theresa this way or else I will definitely get a Granny Chop to the head. I wanted to say naughty so I could possibly make a naughty list joke but now you've gone and ruined that for me. I've already got a special little throne next to the big guy down there, so no worries. But this whole sweet girl bullcrap is just that-- Bullcrap. You have been a little devil since the first time I met you, I could practically see the horns and little pointy tail. Suffer? It's more like an honor that you get to be in my presence every day. Or more like I let you be. Wherever it is you're going with this, Kota... No.

[teddystfu]

TEXT || TO THE SEXIEST TEDDY BEAR EVER

Jackson: only a lil

Jackson: will you bring me chicken nuggets

Jackson: im nicer to winston and let him into the wild sometimes and that's what matters

Jackson: wouldn't you be sad if my balls were gone

Teddy: u love the meanie a lot otherwise ur not getting any nuggets

Teddy: and u can have those after i get u and ur drugged up ass

Teddy: i stg ur gonna lose winston one of these days and im gonna kill u

Teddy: shut up..... maybe.... honestly shut up

[teddystfu]

TEXT || TO THE SEXIEST TEDDY BEAR EVER

Jackson: meanie

Jackson: a lake i think there's water and its beautiful and its talking to me and telling me to jump in

Jackson: winston loves me he would never

Teddy: u love the meanie

Teddy: do not jump in the lake w/e u fucking do u idiot just stay there

Teddy: winston loves me more and would do w/e i ask of him tyvm but lucky for you i love you a lil and wont actually let him touch ur balls

[minaking-xo-deactivated20150115]

Whoa, so outstanding, we’ve got a sarcastic child in the vicinity. God knows that no one should show any excitement here. 

[teddystfu]

Whoa, calm down there Sugarplum fairy, nobody said your excitement was unwarranted or anything. If you wanna skip around the Christmas tree like the people in Whoville then by all means, Cindy Lou Who. 

[teddystfu]

TEXT || TO THE SEXIEST TEDDY BEAR EVER

Jackson: i don't know there r lots of trees and i think theres a swing but it might be a bird

Jackson: meant to go see mom but i got lost I'm lost

Jackson: teddy bear no u don't need to come I'm fine go back to winston

Teddy: shut up for a second

Teddy: so ur at the cemetery or at least close like by the park or lake?

Teddy: give me some fucking clue here jackson or so help me winston will bite off ur balls when we see u

[augustinefck-deactivated2015030]

You could’ve at least warned me about this new no-pants thing, because it’s a little weird to arrive at a place and be greeted with the naked thighs of another dude when you were expecting your fully-clothed friend. And for the love of god, Teddy, don’t call them the goods.

[teddystfu]

Oh man, did I forget to put a sign up on the door about the new rule? Lame, I'll be sure to get to that later when I can be bothered to put pants on. But, like, c'mon my naked thighs are probably the best you've ever seen. You should honestly be thanking me. Well, sir, I've certainly had no complaints and from the reviews I do believe they are quite good.