teecup

Pain is all i know (i like writng ig)

[deyageka]

AU where after the disc finale, Tommy builds a community garden instead of a hotel at the remains of L’manberg.

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[teecup-pot]

Yes please you have no idea how much serotonin I woudl experience

[teecup-pot]

Regret (Niki Nihachu Headcanon)

Headcanon: The nuclear bomb killing off Tommy worked however it seems like it opened her eyes to what she’d done.

The nuclear bomb had set off and marked its place. The ringing in my ears weren’t enough to silence the agonizing scream of a young boy. Tears flowed down his face, through the blood,  onto the snow, onto his dead brother’s cold body. Two compasses clinked together as he screamed, cried for his lost companion, and held him closer. It was like watching a homeless child hold onto to bread given my stranger. Eyes full of suspicion, pain, and dullness. He held him so close but Tommy was already gone. He was so close to the explosion. He was so close to death that I couldn’t stop smiling when I ran away. The snow below felt like nothing, as if I were running in a stream during the summer. I was running for my life and running for his to end.

Yet, why? Why is that when I see Tubbo begging for Tommy that I feel pain? Isn’t this what I wanted? Him, Tommy, gone? He’s gone. He’s gone forever, he had one life and I dealt it. Was this what I truly wanted. Tears of agony and resurfaced regrets formed in my squinted eyes. My face became distorted with pain and realization. My mouth was wide open. I was begging to say something, anything to stop this. Only gross gawks between cries came out of my shameless mouth. Jack beside me, no longer standing. He was on the ground, looking away from the scene. Away from what he had been planning.

It’s resulted in another loss, there was so much blood, tree branched entangled with Tommy’s body. His blood was poured out like melted chocolate. His face was twisted with pain and longing for an explanation. “What have I done?” The only words that could be choked out of my throat. It felt like my world was collapsing. No one could hear my small cry over the sobs of lost broken boy.

Was this really what I had worked so hard to do accomplish? Kill off one of the lights in life? The thing that held the strings, more than Dream ever could? The reason our Wilbur could smile before he died before Phil got the chance. Tommy, tubbo, fundy- so much more but oh Tommy. Tommy this and what, no matter what it was him beside him. Supporting him, sure there were painful feelings lurked in every conversation but that kept Wilbur going. I destroyed it. I destroyed Wilbur’s happiness. No there’s Tubbo- but Tubbo. How could there be happy? What happened to the brightness of Tubbo? The one who smiled so brightly at the horizon. He was so full of hope but it was Tommy next to him. Why have I done this? I continued to stare at Tubbo before crumbling myself. My hands held onto the spare coat Wilbur had. I selfishly held it tight. It was pathetic, my body found undeserving comfort from its warmth. Tears continued to flow until the ice froze it solid. There were no more tears I could shed. However no matter how long I felt regret and stayed there choking on dry tears, Tubbo continued to scream. His voice was coarse by now. His nails dug deeper into Tommy’s corpse, not out of anger but grief. He was trying to hold the last of his dear friend. His tears even if they stopped flowing would never truly stop. I caused this. I am sorry.