“I thought leaving you would be easy, just walking out the door. But I keep getting pinned against it with my legs around your waist and it’s like my lips want you like my lungs want air; it’s just what they were born to do. So I am sitting at work thinking of you cutting vegetables in my kitchen. Your hair in my shower drain. Your fingers on my spine in the morning while we listen to Muddy Waters. I don’t know why I’ve got so much hope pinned to someone who will never call me home, but the way you talk about poems like Marxists talk of revolution, it makes me want to keep trying. In the mornings, in my shower drain, in the music, in the walk out the door. I am looking for reasons to love you. I am looking for proof that you love me.”
— October, Clementine von Radics
