"Teeth are expendable & so are you!"

We at Teeth Co. are dedicated to bettering the lives of those around us; one tooth at a time. Est. 1974

[teeth-co]

is there a way to dispose of my entire body? i’m quite tired of it and would like a refund, i have the receipt

Do you want an exchange or full return?

[teeth-co]

Ah how lovely to see you again, I've recently acquired an allotment of ears and I'm not entirely sure what to use them for, do you have any suggestions? Could I trade them in for something else?

Time is never linear, is it? It’s like we keep popping in and out of this dreadful timeline.

You could always donate them to one of our facilities, which we would greatly appreciate! However you can also trade them in for another body piece of equal or lesser value!

[teeth-co]

I get so excited when I see you are back. I recently picked up some cuttlebones from one of your locations and DIY'd myself some new kneecaps!!! I can run better than ever and it's all thanks to you!! Much love! Xoxo

That sounds remarkable! We are always happy when people enjoy our services.

Run like the wind! Enjoy a new life you never thought possible.

[teeth-co]

How do you like your teeth? Soft? Hard? Filled with moths? Let us know in the comments!

[teeth-co]

Is your refrigerator running?

No, but you better be.

[teeth-co]

Yo I got four wisdom teeth I don't need, freshly pulled. Think I could trade em in for something?

You can always donate them at a certified Teeth Co. location, however you may be able to trade them in for a shiny metal coin!

[teeth-co]

is it possible to replace skin with snail teeth? and have a feathered starfish asa tongue? askin for a bro

I don’t see why not, the possibilities are truly endless!

[teeth-co]

This week ONLY save up to 50% on eyes, guys, and flies! Only at a certified Teeth Co. location!

[teeth-co]

Oh it's a deal baby. I'm gonna jump on that like stomach acid on steel!

Oh you 😉

[teeth-co]

Will your Leg Accelerators help me run like the 6 million dollar man?

If we say yes, is that a deal?

[teeth-co]

how can i get rid of my breasts? do i put em on a choppin block and wait or

Depends how you want the job done.

[teeth-co]

Our apologies if our tagging system is in the fritz!

Tumblr has decided to erase our ‘most used tags’ so we no longer have easy access to them and are forced to activate the Brain-In-A-Jar we keep on hands!

Thank you for your patience. Our lawyer has already been activated.

[teeth-co]

Good morrow, teeth co.! It seems that I have misplaced my armpits, do you have any suggestions on what I should use as a replacement? You always have the best deals.

You can always indulge in our one for two human armpits!

If that isn’t your thing, I personally recommend spider limbs! They’re on sale currently!

[teeth-co]

Uh oh!

Have your vertebrae run away? 

Catch up to them with our new Leg Accelerators! Attached at the calf, our ultra-fast blasters will help you run up to 60 miles per hour each step!

[teeth-co]

co teeth? become tied i tongue. words my up all are mixed. replacement a i get can?

Ahah hahahahaha funny joke! No.

[teeth-co]

When rearranging my face this morning, i confused my eyes with my ears and now they’re stuck. Do you have any recommendations on how to remedy this?

Simple goo-gone tends to work well, but if you are unable to buy any at your local hardware store, rubbing alcohol can do a crude job with enough force!

[teeth-co]

hhhhhands? spare hhhhhhhhhhhhands for the hhhhhh, hhh⛥ ⛥̸̢̡̛̠͔̤̙̻̬͙͙̫̪͔̲͖̣͓̻̭̣̦̤̗̩̹̥̺͕͇͚̣̫̻͔̥͔̄͒̈́̈́̀͗̈̀͛̿̑̀̊̈́͊̉̓̔̏̍͐͋́͋͌̂̐͊͐̏́̌͂͗̔́̾͘͘͜͝͝͠͝ͅ ̴̧̛͎̩̫̹̞͈̺͒̇̆̀͋̉̑̊̎̂͝͠⛥̸̛̛̛̖̯̬̻̥̩̜̝̹̳͉͉̖̪̳̠̋̓̋̅͐̄͗̈́͂̈̐̆͐̑͘͜͝͝ ̷̧̡̺̰̼̪͉̪͓̠͈̘̮̝͉̖̩͈̭̟͖͐̀̉̋̅̀☠̶̡͚̠̰̭͙̪̟͙̰͇͚͙̪̠̰̬͋̾̄̈̈́̒̔̌͐̾̽̋̔̈́͋̅́̏͌͒̃͊͌́͑̕̚͜͝͝͠ ̷̛̥̽☠̸̧̺̥̣͉̖̩̩̳͉̜͖͍̪̗̭̫̭̼͇̗̫̮̜͍͙̼̘̤̤͍͒̋̒͜ͅ ̸̡̛̌̈́͒̌͆̋͗̎͂͘̕̕͠͝ψ̵̼̟̖̜͈̭̗͕̤͉͎̯̖̺̣̞̩̞͚͇̥͔̩̅͌̏̐̅̕̚͜ͅͅ

So mote it be.