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Note to Self by Ninon Arts

“Unfinished Painting” — Keith Haring

This painting was left intentionally incomplete. Haring began it when he was dying due to complications from AIDS, and knew he didn’t have much time left. The piece represents the incomplete lives of him and many others, lost to AIDS during the crisis.

“AIDS Memorial Quilt” — Multiple

This quilt is over 50 tons heavy, and one of, if not the, largest pieces of community folk art. Many people who died of AIDS did not receive funerals, due to social stigma and many funeral homes refusing to handle the deceased’s remains, so this was one of the only ways their lives could be celebrated. Each panel was created recognition of someone who died due to AIDS, typically by that person’s loved ones.

“Untitled” — Felix Gonzalez-Torres

This pile of candy weighs the same amount as an average adult man. Visitors are encouraged to take some of the candy. As they do so, the pile of candy weighs less and less. This is a commentary on how AIDS deteriorates the body of those who have it, as Gonzalez-Torres’ partner, Ross Laycock, had died due to AIDS-related complications that same year.

The SF Gay Men's Chorus

This photo was taken in 1993. The men in white are the surviving original members. Every man in black is standing in for an original member who lost their lives to AIDS.

“Electric Fan (Feel it Motherfuckers); Only Unclaimed Item from the Stephen Earabino Estate, 1997” — John Boskovich

After the death of his lover, Stephen Earabino, from AIDS, Boskovich discovered that his family had completely cleared his room, including Boskovich’s own possessions, save for this fan. An entire person, existence and relationship had been erased, just like so many lives during the AIDS crisis. Boskovich encased the fan in Plexiglass, but added cutouts so that its air may be felt by the viewer, almost like an exhalation. In a sense, restoring Earabino’s breath.

“Blue” — Derek Jarman

This was Jarman’s final feature film, released four months before his death from AIDS-related complications. These complications had left him visually impaired, able to only see in shades of blue. This film consists of a single shot of a saturated blue color, as the soundtrack to the film described Jarman’s life through narration, intercut with the adventures of Blue, a humanization of the color blue. The film's final moments consist of a set of repeated names: “John. Daniel. Howard. Graham. Terry. Paul". These are the names of former lovers and friends of Jarman who had died due to AIDS.

“Untitled” (Perfect Lovers) — Felix Gonzalez-Torres

Created by the same man who created the previous untitled piece, this piece was also inspired by his lover’s deterioration and death due to AIDS. This piece consists of two perfectly alike clocks. Over the course of time, one of the clocks will fall out of sync with the other.

In a letter written to his lover about the piece, before his lover’s passing, Gonzalez-Tourres wrote, “Don't be afraid of the clocks, they are our time, the time has been so generous to us. We imprinted time with the sweet taste of victory. We conquered fate by meeting at a certain time in a certain space. We are a product of the time, therefore we give back credit were it is due: time. We are synchronized, now forever. I love you.”

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I may be a pretty shitty boyfriend, but… turns out I’m actually a pretty damn good babysitter.

#seeallthiswomen #iMAE Hello, my name is Jenna Imani Clayburn and I am a visual abstract expressionist. My art is based on spiritual influences that translate into different forms of mixed mediums Raised in Brooklyn, NY I grew up as a black Muslim woman in one of the most diverse cities in the world. I've admired and idolize the strong, unique, diverse and nonconformed women who both do as she pleases and masters masculine and feminine energies. As a young woman, I've always been reckless and wild consider looking for love and exploration in the world beauty. I didn't want my economic situation to define my knowledge and view on the world which led me to travel America living and visiting American cities such as Honolulu, Denver, Los Angeles and etc for a consecutive 3 years. I was forced to learn a lot as a young woman living in different cultural norms of femininity and patriarchy. Inspire by my experience with becoming a woman from teen while traveling American society I learn a lot about how other views my mind, body, and soul because I was born women of color. I learn a lot about claiming back your power, cultural diversity and being comfortable as a divine sexual regardless of people reactions and ideas of who I am. These three women (order bottom to top) are spiritual goddesses representing a guardian of feminine and masculine energy that empowers all Womon. The first one is a goddess of physical empowerment inspired by my time around water and taking my first bathing suit pictures, being confident enough to feel effortless in the strong frequency of the Pacific ocean. My only Tattoo is of tribal waves taken from a purity ring and I want to use this same idea of sexuality being a power similar to water strong, sensual and highly misunderstood. She symbolizes the power of women to harness and control strong currents or sexual aggression. She is a woman goddess who is street smart and holds her power in her knowledge of secrets, seduction, power and trusts the harsh urban game. being hip to the ways of the world wherever she aims her inner light and brightness intimately yet effortless guarded. she is fun to others but she mostly focuses on bring herself to the highest point of empowerment and enlightenment The second goddess is spiritually inspired by the Hawaiian goddess Pele resurrected in the future. Pele is known as a fire god who created the island by multiple explosions making the latest formation of land in the world. I was inspired by her power and almost presence on the island even seeing fires on the mountains reminded of the mystical aspects of the land by purposeful judgment and attempted to depict women as we see god. I wanted to feature an almost translucent and portal aspect of her understanding and perspective. she is the hand of a local women reflecting that a bit of her guidance is found in all parts of the island and can attest its plainness to her love. Ho' oponopono it tells you to give gratitude love and forgiveness to the gods/ yourself and others this is sad to heal the heart. She is a manifestation of love and passion she is can be the most ruthless because she is the moral compass where she destroyed in order to create the fulfilling destiny in ways that confuse others in the present. she is a natural and teacher who integrity fun deep in her plans. seeing some of the beautiful landscape on the island she help heal my heart allowing me to feel at peace deserving seeing true beauty in the world and embracing it its feminine love. She is a strong feminine energy that takes cares herself and then the world. the third god is more so inspired by my personal fascination with gardens my whole life and my favorite book series "Alice and Wonderland" multiple times finding a deep connection to the idea of living in a land of one's imagination. As an earth sign, I wanted to incorporate my most admirable aesthetic my art always features some natural elements or sometimes things I receive from outside. I love untrimmed flowers and my art looks to bring out the beauty of the natural earth to be enough to be great. I've always was told by my family that I live in my own world which helps me be myself and ignore stress that was going on around me. This goddess is someone who I myself desire to be. I wanted her to have pink hair because it has always been something I wanted to do but found it hard to hear my own wants and desires as a young girl or confidence to ignore the fear of expectation. she is someone is very unexpected in every way much like nature. a diamond in the rough she is a woman in which her pure mentality and action can be the dark in which flowers grow she knows lots of natural/spiritual information on the world that has no relevance but to her life. She is natural in sensuality, logically powering the world around her by focusing on her own development to extend her powers. I take the ideas of women being like flowers by highly focusing on her being the center of her command, the complexity of her benefits and focus on her growth. she is magical and mystical sometimes confused as a witch in which she commands the earth around her without resistance to risk and natural circumstance All these guardians or goddess started from my personal journal I was given to me by my mother to help my coup with a mental illness after leaving the island. these women are in every one of us describe just a few but common female strengths that are diversified between all the women that came before us and will come after us. Submitted to [See All This Magazine – Women’s Issue](https://ello.co/artist-invites/see-all-this-magazine-womens-issue)

strawberry-boogie

Real life~

I wanted to write this for a bigger publication but sometimes it’s difficult to pitch about things that have hurt you. You have to make it sound juicy and maintain a certain level of professionalism - it’s annoying. You have to prove why your story is worth telling. Sometimes I just want to speak, get your check, and go.

I’m 19 weeks pregnant with my first child. I’ve talked about being a mom for so long, so of course I’m happy to be here.

The father is a childhood friend that I trusted. That trust is now gone and the last few months have been brutal.

Long story short, he cheated and broke up with me before I made it through the first month of pregnancy. I raked my heart and mind for all of my missteps. I hated myself for putting myself in that position. I felt so stupid and naive.

I barely moved in January. I didn’t eat a lot, I didn’t comb my hair, I forced myself to shower. My grandmother had to do my laundry for me.

Before the breakup, he told me that an abortion would alter our relationship. I barely considered myself because I cared about his feelings more than my own. A family member also shamed me for wanting an abortion after I was betrayed. The pressure was a lot. I’ve always wanted a family and I needed to grow a bit, so I decided to keep the baby.

I can count on one hand how many times I’ve seen the father of my child this year. He hasn’t come to a doctor’s appointment - not even when there was a cyst on the umbilical cord. I’ve done the majority of the calling and texting. He assures me that he’ll be there, but as this very moment, I don’t believe him.

Towards the end of a day that started off with lots of panic, I told him that I was afraid and didn’t want to do this alone. He told me “that’s life”. I cried myself to sleep for maybe the 20th time since the year started. That phrase is maybe my second favorite quote from him - the first is “God will provide”. We were talking about responsibility and money.

He also told me that he was hesitant about having a child, he didn’t want to be in a committed relationship, and that he broke up with me to protect me. Daggers.

I always return back to myself and accept accountability for my actions. I moved too quickly, I had too much faith in another person, I thought our relationship held more weight than it did. I could’ve used condoms. I knew better. I have no choice but to peep my role in all of this. My swollen face, sensitive breasts, and growing belly remind me.

But even with all of that, I’m honored to be bringing a person into the world. I made the right decision and I’ve done my best throughout the pregnancy. I know that my kid will be the coolest person ever. Even in weak moments, I G’d up. Rearranged my environment, continued my writing career, faced fears, all that jazz. So, my most dominant emotion is joy.

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Flyer - December 2017

#events #livepainting #concert #club.livemusic #sunset #losglobos #deuceellis #art #losangeles #california #popupshop #mysticaljoyride #Tigerthedj #frankielinstrom #brandoncordoba #cyper #rapping #teethrater

Photo I just edited for my portfolio taken in Hawaii while on a date with @deuceellis looking for a place to set up shop on the north shore of Oahu. Check out "An Electric Ride" by Deuce Ellis for more art and stories about our adventures making art all over the world traveling outside our bodies and comfort zones. I miss being on one the most distant islands in the world sometimes , but my time outside the typical American society and to be able to develop our individual beings and personal artistry is meant to be shared. I can't wait to share with y'all the trip that has been America and continue our ride across the country reliving our trippest moment's together !!!! #thecult 🙌🙌🙌#hawaii #honolulu #beach #photography #islandlife #anelectricride #graphicdesigner #albumrelease #travelgram #trees (at North Shore, Oahu, Hawaii)