i remember as a kid being told that spiders are more scared of you than you are of them. they may look kinda freaky and yes they bite sometimes and yes there are some that are poisonous but mostly they mind their business and they’re helpful.
you can make spiders into really creepy villains in your head if you want. you can think about how gross it would feel to have them crawl under your clothes without your permission. you can get freaked out when you see even just a web in the corner of your room. if you want to. or you can let them be a natural innocent thing you share the earth with. you can remember that if one tries to crawl on you, you’re able to crush them to death with your bare fingers.
this is the same way i feel about men haha. i’ve had allergic reactions to spider bites. to the point of being nervous to spend time in the wilderness. i’ve been deeply deeply traumatized by sexual abuse from men. to the point of being celibate for a few consecutive years in my 20s. but the body heals. the psyche heals. we move forward. if we want to.
if i’m scared of spiders, i can choose to lose sleep every night out of fear that one will bite me while i’m unconscious. if i’m scared of men, i can choose to live my life like a defensive caged animal. or i can choose a perspective that’s grounded in reality and power. i choose to live my life freely and not cause myself unnecessary suffering out of fear of harm that may or may not come my way. if a spider bites me or a man wrongs me, it’s not my fault and it’s something i can overcome and alchemize to make myself even braver and more powerful.
if a man harms or attempts to harm me, i’m extremely capable of making him regret it. i can crush him with my fingertips as easily as i can crush a bug.
i love the natural wild world and all the vibrant experiences i can have in it. i love men, i love bugs, i love learning lessons and expanding and i know that expansion does not come from a safe frictionless life. i’m a tough autonomous being that can weather any storm. fully ensouled adults don’t let fear win.
