ᵈⁱʳᵗʸ & ᶜˡᵉᵃⁿ

sᴏᴍᴇᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ, ᴅɪʀᴛʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʟᴇᴀɴ. ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ sᴍᴏᴋᴇ. ʟᴀᴜɢʜ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʜᴏᴋᴇ.

[terramarkcv]

Zatanna Zatara.

Zatanna was freaking out without her powers. So of course she did what she always did, she distracted herself by trying to help others. She took one of the guns Jason had left for “emergencies.” Even after they broke up she kept it there, for no other reason than not knowing what to do with it…and that included shooting it. But how hard could it be? Jim Gordon could do it. Now she was here on the streets, ushering people inside and underground. it was the safest place to be. Seh heard a growl and turned. “well here goes nothing.” she said went to fire the gun, but it didn’t move. “oh fuck. how the hell do i turn off a safety?” @assemblestarter​

Tara wasn’t much of a gun person. She also wasn’t much of a Titans or Justice League person. If it could be helped she would rather stay far away from the people she betrayed and potentially ruined the lives of. But, even if she’d rather not be near, it wasn’t in her to leave them to die. So when seeing Zatanna, magic probably on the fritz, with a stalled gun (or maybe with safety on, she couldn’t tell from this angle) Tara moved. “Look out!” She called to her from a distance as she ran in her approach. A chunk of rock carved itself from the earth around them, stomping onto the hell beasts and keeping them far away from where Zatanna stood. A bit timid to get to close, she rose the smallest piece of pebble to Zatanna’s gun and clicked off the safety. “There, now it’s shootable.” Please don’t shoot me, she inwardly hoped. 

[terramarkcv]

Tim Drake | Red Robin.  

.

     Tim’s body hit the ground with enough force to knock the air out of his lung with a choked splutter, a ringing sound in his ears as Tim turned over with a groan. He needed a moment to revaluate and get back up, a moment that he definitely did not have right now. “I’m fine, don’t stop for me! It’s not safe here” he protested when he heard footsteps approaching, pushing up with his elbows as he worked on steadying his breathing once more. “Seriously, I mean it”

 @assemblestarter​ 

Tim Drake, it wasn’t the same as she knew the eldest Robin but Tara did know of him. They had seldom interacted but interacted nonetheless. He knew of her betrayal surely, potentially even knew of her living through it and needing the physical therapy. “There’s not much that’ll put me in danger.” She told him, eyes scanning around them for the danger. “Come on.” She tugged him to his feet. “I’m pretty tough. I’ll protect you.” Tougher then one could imagine at first glance. 

[terramarkcv]

Barry Allen | The Flash   >

-

Barry looked at the young woman in concern, his eyebrows furrowing. “Well, alive is a good place to start,” he said, offering her a little smile. He looked over at her for a minute, wondering why she was standing in a graveyard in the middle of the night. Was she there to visit someone? Or was there something more to it? “Do you need any help?” he said. “Maybe we can get a cup of coffee or something if you need to talk.”

“I- ... I don’t say this to be cruel or to make you feel bad about yourself, or less of a man or any negative way it can be taken, it’s nothing to do with that or you, it’s just that.” She needed to phrase this kindly, he was trying to be kind. “No one could help me. There’s nothing you or anyone else is capable of, to help me.” Even with the preemptive warning, she still felt cruel saying the words. Even if they were true. “Sometimes you get dug a bit too deep for anyone to pull you out, ya know?” Her eyes on the ground, where she was buried without a corpse. “And sometimes you don’t deserve to be saved.” Her throat felt dry, saying the words and knowing they were true. 

[terramarkcv]

Kurt Wagner | Nightcrawler   > 

»   𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐔𝐍 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓.

The thing about Kurt was that he always respectful in all sense of the word, even while fighting. Sure, sometimes he had his monstrous moments but didn’t everyone? He was at least trying to work on his. Miss was a term of endearment, at least in his eyes. “Of course,” he nodded in response. A hand moved to hand her one. “I suppose not, no.” His smile was kind but it moved into one that wrinkled around his eyes in warmth. “It gives me something to look forward to at least. Death after all should be an adventure. To be at peace is a dream.” He dreamt about it sometimes. What would it be like? Would he be older? Wiser? Younger and free of any aliments? Would he still be blue? Would he of loved and been loved? “I think, in some sense, we’re given what we can handle… and maybe a little more. Old friends know.” They had to of. Love, illness, trauma and more. “Thank you, Fräulein. I certainly do try to make up for what others may see. You seem very kind to me as well. Can I be a little more honest?”

Tara couldn’t remember the last time she had been handed a flower. Maybe as the princess as Markovia? No, no it actually hadn’t been that long ago. Still long ago but not into the single digits, it had been Beast Boy, she realized. A time so so long ago. “Thank you.” The tone was far more tender then Tara usually allowed herself to use. “You like adventures then?” She prompted curiously. “You make it sound like peace is something boring. I think some peace could be nice once in a while.” Especially when it was someone you were so unused to. “You really think so.” His belief couldn’t help but make her wide in the eyes, she didn’t typically meet people who had such faith and belief. Tara didn’t know what to do with it, she was almost jealous at the ease in which he believed so kindly. “You could call me Tara.” She offered him. “Miss makes me feel old so. Yeah. Tara if you will.” Confusion spelled her features, but not fear. “You’ve been plenty honest already, if you’re willing to share a bit more I don’t mind at all.” 

[terramarkcv]

Rachel Roth | Raven   > 

.

Rachel watched the other for a moment as she failed to meet her eyes after all she’d burned the trust that they once shared and unlike the other Titans she wasn’t a forgiving person. “For a whole year? And what were you learning during that time? Given that I’m pretty sure it had to have been a Lazarus pit that brought you back, are you wholly together?” She questioned watching as if she were nothing more than someone she’d used to know there was hardly any warmth in her heart for Tara but at the same time being cruel to an already broken soul wasn’t her style either. “Is that what you truthfully thought? If so then you never understand what friendship was. Regardless of the past, I know of at least one person who would’ve loved to know that you were alive. If you think your death didn’t weigh heavily on his heart then you are very wrong in your thinking yet again Tara.”

“I was healing,” She didn’t intend to snap but Tara couldn’t help it. She snapped back when she was cornered, it was simply what happened. It was how her control of her powers slipped and slipped until it was non-existent. You kept trapping a dog in a corner and eventually it bit back. Now, biting was the only response she knew. “I got buried alive with lava and rubble and god knows what else, I was supposed to die Rachel, I wanted to die, and then that didn’t happen. You aren’t the only one who was disappointed!” She caught herself and grimaced. “Weren’t.” It was past tense, it needed to be past tense, she was happy to be alive now- really, she was. She was. “I don’t know how long I was under there, or how I was found, I just woke up covered in bandages and burns and they called me a Jane-Doe. Guess it was karma.” Her arms crossed defensively, as if somehow it would shield her from the other girl’s words. “Isn’t that the whole point? I didn’t know. Still don’t, I guess. I was a pawn to Slade and with all you Titans I was a liar, anything I ever knew of friendship was born out of lies. And even what I think is the truth of it is muddy and confusing.” She admitted shamefully. One person. They both knew who. “He’s living a better life thinking I’m dead.” She words were crass and with her heart, Tara believed them. “I’m alive and he knows and then what? We’ve established I don’t know shit about friendship, or even being a good person. You know Gar, you know he wouldn’t ‘give up’ on me. Me, not being alive, is the best thing for him. Tell me I’m wrong.” Unintentionally, the words became a plea. “Out of everyone, you wouldn’t lie, you would know. So please Rachel, tell me. Tell me I’m wrong.” 

[terramarkcv]

Atticus Flint   >​

.

     “You’re right” Atticus nodded gently. It was easier to recognize with a wider perspective that everybody was going through something which was why he always made an effort to try to be kind. “Some people definitely have it worse than I have today, too. So I really shouldn’t complain too much” he shrugged. Some alone time was all his inner introvert needed to recover and he was sure he’d get some later with Stephanie on patrol. “I know what you mean” he frowned, mind going to his brother immediately. “Well…is there anything I could do to make it stand out from every other day?”

“You’re allowed to complain.” The words left her lips with more vigor then intended. “I mean, everyone faces different hardships. Comparing them just is bullshit. No one should be comparing eachother’s tragedies, it isn’t a contest. You’re allowed to have a bad day and be sad about it. Don’t let anyone tell you different..” Not that she was a great judge on these type of things. Or even a good judge of people quite honestly. His offer was kind, not that Tara would know what to do with it. “That’s nice,” She said. “But it’s okay. I don’t think there’s much anyone could do, honestly.” Sort of showing up with Slade’s disembodied head, not much could make life better for the blonde. 

[terramarkcv]

Dick Grayson | Nightwing   > 

dick took a breath, not expecting her to be the one to run into him. he reached out and grabbed her by her jacket to keep her there. “tara,” he looked around, realizing the café was probably not the best place for this conversation. he hitched his arm to hers and led her to sit down on one of the patio seats.

“you look good. alive,” he didn’t sound angry. he sounded like concerned ex-boss or brother. “i won’t question how.” his own brothers were proof that some people just don’t stay dead. not that he ever wanted tara to die, “you doing alright?”

she bit onto her lip, trying to halt her own emotions and be strong. the despair she felt when being met with one of the people she so viciously stabbed in the back was just as vicious as the stabbing itself. dick had protected her. he had trusted her. with his identity, to watch his back, to be his friend, to call herself a titan. she had betrayed all that in one fell swoop. she hadn’t even hesitated. she followed him, knowing that running away would only make her look worse then she already did. which was already plenty bad. “it... wasn’t on purpose.” the words came out as a grumble. “that came out--” not right. “i mean, when you thought i was going to die i thought i was going to die too. i didn’t lie to you, that time. i promise i didn’t.” guilt burned in her heart with such words, it felt like acid. “i---” she was surprised at the question, frankly. it was the last she would have imagined hearing from him, from any of the titans except maybe gar. “i’m alive.” that was a pathetic answer, dick probably knew it too. “i thought i was gonna die and then i lived.” stating events wasn’t the same as stating emotions. 

[terramarkcv]

Barbara Kean   >  

@terramarkcv​: “I’m not proud of what I did.” 

Babs shrugged. “What’s the point in regret?” she said. ​“It doesn’t change what happened. And even if you could, you’d probably erase some good stuff, too.” She gave another little shrug. “I mean, I could label dating Jim Gordon as a colossal waste of time and emotional energy, and wish it had never happened. But then I wouldn’t have my kids.” She took a sip of her wine as she leaned against the bar of the Sirens Club. “So instead I just chalk it up to being a lonely sixteen-year-old and a sucker for blue eyes.” 

“Is the good worth the bad though? Better yet, is the bad worth the good...” Tara thought about it grimly. She remembered the good moments of comradery, feeling protected, being apart of something more then herself. Then there were the other moments, the really truly bad ones. When she had been the knife stabbed in their back. When she made a choice to hurt to people who had shown her nothing but love. She clung to the regret and the burn it brought, Tara knew she deserved it. She grinned softly as Barbara spoke of her children. she would have been a different woman had her mother been more like Barbara Kean. “Your bad decisions brought two awesome people into the word though. The only good I did was trying to take a bad one out, and I kinda screwed that up too.” 

[terramarkcv]

Cassie Sandsmark | Wonder Girl  >

‘ i’m sorry that it took me this long to see you. ‘ @terramarkcv​

Cassie frowned. “Are you alright Terra?” she asked cautiously. Having just rejoined the team after being in Washington, Cassie was a little hesitant to let her guard down around Terra. 

Tara grimaced and refrained herself from saying Never. She needn’t the pity or even sympathy. “I’m here.” Better then dead, she supposes. “How have you been, Cassie?” They weren’t the closes during her stint on the Titans, before the betrayal, but she did care for the girl. 

[terramarkcv]

Roy Harper | Arsenal   >

❝ don’t be afraid. ❞ - @terramarkcv​

roy looked behind him for a moment, confused. he was trying to see if maybe she was talking to someone else. “i’m sorry, me?” he finally questioned. “why would i be afraid of toph that can see?” yes, he and lian has been watching avatar that is beside the point.

“toph, that ones new.” a long time ago, when the world was less grey and far more bright, tara would have laughed at the joke instead of the uncomfortable disposition she currently held. “i think comparing us might be setting the bar a bit high for me though.” toph had mastery over her powers, never faltered with her emotion. very unlike tara herself. “honestly? i thought you might think i was a ghost.” she admitted with a grimace. that was, unless roy had already known of her being alive. which, given his connections, was entirely in the realm of possibility. 

[terramarkcv]

Kurt Wagner | Nightcrawler   > 

»   𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐔𝐍 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓.

Kurt gave a kind smile. “Miss, respectfully, in German. My native language; not English.” he admitted before bending to set a rose on another grave. “They may not be my people,” superficially or not, “but they were still people nevertheless.” He looked up at her before standing up once more. “Would you like one?” Kurt turned to her to offer a rose. “For your fallen?” His head nodded in the direction of the grave he had seen her looking at? Visiting? “Can I be honest, stranger to stranger? Some days I envy the dead… but on days like this, I find comfort in them. It’s why I do this sometimes. Someone should remember them. Visit them. Say hello like old friends would.”

“Miss... oh.” That was nice of him. Very polite for a young man his age. “I see. Thank you.” Her eyes watched him place a rose on the grave, her grave. He didn’t even know her and yet--- He was kind. She blinked her eyes at the offer, he had no idea he’d already given her one in another way. It brought forth emotion Tara didn’t know she possessed. “I... yes. Thank you.” She was selfish, god she was so selfish. “Is there any other person to be honest to?” She asked, trying for a light note of humor. Who else to be honest to then a stranger? “You do...” It was an interesting statement, and Tara didn’t know what to think of it. Except, she did. “I think I do too. It must be easier, to be at rest. Sounds easier.” Her lips pursed together at his words. “Hello like old friends would,” She mused them, his words. “You’re a very kind soul.”

[terramarkcv]

Rachel Roth | Raven   > 

.

Raven never allowed someone to hurt her twice; she was very much unlike the rest of the Titans in this aspect, once a bridge with her was burned it was almost impossible to rebuild. She’d allowed Tara in only for her to betray them all, she could paint it whatever little picture she wanted but that was the truth nothing about was wrong.  “Tara” Was all she replied watching her as she felt her uneasiness and fear given she could read almost anything when it comes down to it. “And that’s supposed to make everything better? How many times must you use that excuse, Tara? I wasn’t planning this, It wasn’t my fault..how long Tara? How long were you walking around and didn’t bother to check in with people who cared?” She looked at the stone how many times had Gar sat at this place wishing she hadn’t died for them one too many times in her book.

“No, nothing is better. It will never be better. I know that, I know that.” She exclaimed, unable to meet Rachel’s eyes as she spoke. It hurt too much. Not just because of the anger in the other girl, but because Tara knew she deserved it. “I haven’t been.” Her words were small, just like how she felt. “I’ve only been on my feet the last year, not... not before that.” She admitted, ashamed. “When I... died. I almost did. I was close but... I guess someone thought it’d be funnier if I had lived instead.” She breathed in deeply, trying to keep herself calm, not to let her emotion take it’s reign. “I’ve been in recovery for a long time, I only started being a person again recently and I thought--” Finally, she turned to the other girl. The admission came out, along with the pain that intertwined in it. “I thought your lives would be better ones without me in them.” A pause, a beat of silence as Tara hated to ask. “Were they?” 

[terramarkcv]

Atticus Fletcher   > 

.

     Atticus gave an appreciative nod at her confirmation that his presence wasn’t a bother, a sigh leaving him as he relaxed, looking over the view of the park before them for a moment before she spoke again and he turned to look at her properly. “Uh…sure” he shrugged gently. “It’s not like anything particularly horrible has happened but it does feel like anything that could go wrong today has…What about you?”

“Everyone has different definitions of particularly horrible.” Tara stated simply. For instance, for her, any emotion she couldn’t contain was particularly horrible. For anyone else, they just needed some Ben and Jerries Ice Cream and their night would be set. Tara didn’t have it that simple. “Anything could go wrong at anytime. Life’s just kinda... like that. Sometimes. Awful.” She grimaced at his words, not expecting the question to be redirecting it. “My day is just... my day.” She struggled to describe it. It just was. “Just another day I guess.”

[terramarkcv]

Barry Allen | The Flash   > 

-

Barry frowned a little in concern as he noticed how the girl wouldn’t look at him. He had come here tonight to visit the grave of one of the secretaries who had worked at the lab, an older woman whose family had moved away and had always been nice to him, baking him cookies and brownies to “fatten him up”. Of course, with his special metabolism, that wasn’t really possible, but Barry had enjoyed her kindness – and the baked goods certainly hadn’t hurt. “No, you’re fine,” he said, offering her a little smile. “Are you okay?”

She wasn’t fine. Tara don’t think she ever was, not since she had been the princess of Markovia without a care in the world. It’d been a long time since then however, and she was far from that little girl. Now, if her emotions got too out of hand, the world fell apart around her. She was disaster in the form of a little girl. “Thanks...” She didn’t know what else to say. What else did people say? “I... “ That was a question she should lie to. The answer wasn’t the one he, or anyone else, wanted. “I’m alive.” She said. That was all the positive answer she could provide. she was alive.

[terramarkcv]

Dick Grayson | Nightwing   > 

@assemblestarter​

dick was walking around town - it was good to spend his mornings just relaxing. he walked into the coffee shop - it was surprisingly busy for how late in the morning it was. “okay, i’ll just come back,” he turned around and bumped right into whoever just stepped up behind him. “ah, sorry about that.”

shit shit shit shit, out of her mind, type of shit. “dick grayson.” she said the name without thinking about it, her mouth speaking before she had the moment to so much as process the words. “i--- i’m sorry.” she exclaimed, turning her hood up and wanting nothing more then to hide. to run. “sorry.” she muttered again, wanting to run and hide. would he even recognize her all these years later? she was supposed to be dead. 

[terramarkcv]

Hal Jordan  >

@assemblestarter​

It had been a while since Hal was back on Earth, training with the Corp usually took a lot of effort and focus but he always felt revitalized afterward. Of course, the first thing he’d done was hunt down some of his friends he hadn’t seen in a rather long time yet now he found himself with much to do as he sat in the park watching the hustle-bustle of life. “Oh yeah no the spots are wide open I’m not waiting for anyone if you’d like to sit” He mused offering the other side of the bench to the person who’d asked.

“... thanks.” Tara spoke quietly. It took an abrupt moment to realize she recognized his face. There was something about it-- maybe the jaw? Could he be... no way. There was no way her luck was so poor she would run into one of the Titans no no wait, no, she’d seen the Titans unmasked. No, this would be one of the Leaguers, one of the Justice League. Would he recognize her? Would he care to? She had met the League seldom and nervously, mostly from their personal connections to the Titans then anything official. Still she was fearful, what if he recognized and obliterated her? Suddenly nervous, her emotion leaked into her powers and the earth shook. Shit. She clenched her hands into fists, willing it to stop. “I should go.” Hopefully he hadn’t felt the small quake she’d caused, hopefully he wouldn’t kill her (what if he was Batman?) 

[terramarkcv]

 Atticus Fletcher   >

.

     It had been one of those days that felt as though it would never end, all of those small annoyances and setbacks like stubbing his toe or breaking the zipper on his jacket only serving as proof for Atticus that the universe clearly had it out for him today. Even on days that had been worse than this one, however, Atticus always found a way to make time for coffee and besides, there really wasn’t much that could go wrong with a large cold brew, surely. It was unsurprising but just as disappointing when he found the shop bursting at the seams with customers and so with his coffee in tow he approached the first bench he spotted. “Excuse me, do you mind if I sit here for a few minutes?” he asked, settling onto the bench anyways. “Rough day”.

@assemblestarter​ 

“Not at all.” Tara assured him quickly. She wouldn’t say it outloud, never put it on the shoulder’s of a stranger, but secretly she quite enjoyed the company. She didn’t like being alone. She kind of hated it. Yet alone was all she was these days, it was all that became of her and with good reason. It was just how it was, there was nothing to change it even if she wished differently. Still, she longed for company. “I know what that’s like.” Almost everyday for her lately felt of the rough sort. “Wanna talk about it?”