[terrorsmade]

𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓻𝓸𝓻𝓼𝓶𝓪𝓭𝓮 ; independent and highly private multi - muse ft. muses from various horror / supernatural media. written by anna ( 30 + . EST. she / her . ) minors dni.

heavily affiliated with ; @empireburned

RULES. PROMPTS. MUSE LIST. PINTEREST. PROMPT SB.

[empireburned]

  despite the heaviness that seems to have descended upon their conversation, tabitha manages a lopsided smile. " i think we were pretty considerate house guests, all things considered. " and as she recalls, jade hadn't been around the house much after that anyways; she seemed to always find him at the bar more often than not. " you're done already? " tabitha inquires, looking mildly surprised as she glances over at the carrots he'd cut. then again, she's used to the kids being her helpers, and they love to drag their feet about it. " you can put those in the pot on the stove. " she nods to the pot in question. " uh, and then you can help me — ah, shit. " the knife comes down and tabitha feels the sharp sting immediately. " shit, shit, shit, " she mutters, dropping her knife so her other hand can hover beneath her now bleeding finger to keep the blood from getting on any of the potatoes.

[terrorsmade]

he might've agreed , if he was in the mood for being honest ... the truth was , despite them all living in the same house , it had still taken jade a couple days to even notice ... mostly , because the house collapse had caused a vacancy in the bar , and jade had needed more room to work ... ' there's like four carrots here , I'm no gordan ramsey but --- ' whatever else remained of his pithy remark is cut off as tabitha swears. then , she does it again in rapid succession. jade's first thought is , stupidly ; I don't know if I've ever heard her swear that much ... before his gaze snaps in her direction and he sees the blood. ' shit , ' he agrees , carrots forgotten and his own knife dropped. jade steps towards her with seemingly practiced ease and snags the dish towel she'd only just thrown over her shoulder. nimble fingers gently wrap the cloth around the injured finger to try and stop the bleeding. ' hey , keep some pressure on that , okay ?? ' he asks , eyes locking onto her own as he speaks. jade hopes it's nothing so serious as to have to get kristi involved , but he also knows that medical supplies aren't exactly in high supply and the majority ( if not all ) of them rightfully reside in the clinic. ' here , sit down ... ' feather - light , his hands hover near her elbows , just barely touching as he guides her into a kitchen chair , his brows drawn together in obvious concern.

[empireburned]

  " at least now we know how to keep you in line. " her tone is light as she casts another glance in jade's direction, eyebrows raised. unfortunately, as so often happens in this place, the conversation grows a bit more somber from there. tabitha is silent for a few moments, considering his words. she hadn't been there when tian-chen had died, but she knew from ethan and julie alone how much the woman's absence was felt. it had never really occurred to her that jade had mourned her too, but the way he talks about her speaks for itself.

  " she always seemed to know exactly what people needed. sometimes before even they did. " tabitha speaks softly, returning to her task. " after the house collapsed ... we lost everything we had left. i asked her if i could go through storage to pick some things out and she invited us into her home without a second thought. she said to me ' mothers help together. ' " the recollection has her lips shifting into a sad sort of smile as she looks at him again. " i know you cared about her ... she cared about you too. "

[terrorsmade]

' she sure did ... ' jade comments , clearing his throat lightly as his gaze focuses back on the cutting board. it's easier to talk about it while going about his task , his gaze adverted ... easier to wrestle down the feelings that rise up in him whenever he thinks about that night --- the chaos , the near - misses , the sounds of her screams ... sucking in a breath , he desperately scrambles to return to the less grim topic of conversation. ' yeah , I remember that ... never even asked my opinion on the subject ... ' he deadpans , as if he --- who was also for all intents and purposes merely a guest in the house --- should have had a say in whether they took in the matthews family ... the look jade throws her way makes it clear , he hopes , that he's joking ... he doesn't respond to her last statement in any verbal way , but if tabby was looking in his direction , she might have seen the subtle slump of his shoulders. but he keeps his head down , intensely fixated on cutting up the rest of the carrots before he addresses her again. ' now what ?? '

[empireburned]

  she shakes her head, watching him clean off the bit of carrot and eat it. all the while, there's a tinge of fondness in her features that she wouldn't have been able to get rid of even if she'd known it was showing. " yeah, he does, " tabitha agrees softly, sighing as she sets her knife down for a moment to itch at a spot above her eyebrow. " probably a little too much sometimes. " she's always loved ethan's eagerness for learning and discovering new things, but here especially, she wishes that she could have protected him more from the darker things that life has to offer.

  it would be easy to let those thoughts put a damper on her mood, but fortunately, jade keeps up the lighthearted rapport they've managed to establish. " ah, now there's an idea, " tabitha remarks, fighting back a smile as she reaches for a dish towel off to the side, tossing it over her shoulder with a pointed look in his direction. but her gaze lingers, attention captured by that quiet laugh of his. frankly, she can probably count on one hand how many times she's even seen him smile. after a moment, tabitha forces herself to focus on the task at hand again. " i don't know ... probably that you were a pain in the ass. " again, a huff of a laugh leaves her, but she doesn't make any attempt to cover it again. tabitha's pretty sure jade had been a pain in the ass to everyone when he'd first arrived (probably still is to many); she certainly hadn't been overly fond of him at first. " did you drop any of her vegetables on the floor? because then i can relate. "

[terrorsmade]

there's more he could say where ethan is involved ... part of him wants to reassure tabitha that she's doing her best in an impossible situation. that ethan reminds jade of himself in some ways , that he'd also experienced a hard loss at a young age ... he wants to tell her that everything was going to be okay , that ethan and julie would both make it through this goddamn nightmare and come out stronger for it ... but , jade lets the subject drop. not your monkeys , not your circus ...

he's enjoying this little reprieve , like he's been drowning for months and this feels like a much needed gulp of fresh air. ' woah , c'mon ... let's not be hasty ... ' again , the task falls to the wayside as he opts for holding up his hands in surrender , as if the threat of the dish towel was serious enough for him to plead. another soft breath of a laugh is pulled from his lips. ' I was absolutely a pain in the ass , ' he agrees , then glances down as a pang of loss ripples through him. ' of course , I was dropping shit all the time ... running my mouth , using all the hot water ... and she put up with me regardless ... what a fucking saint ... '

[avadcniels]

FROM ⇢ 4x05 | WHAT A LONG STRANGE TRIP IT'S BEEN

[empireburned]

  " that doesn't surprise me, " tabitha responds, her smile strengthening a little at the mention of tian-chen. " she liked to put everyone to work. " this kitchen — this house — certainly isn't the same without her. " ethan used to love helping her in the kitchen. any time she would start cooking, he'd be right there, just waiting for instructions. " it's weird to think about how much different things have become since their arrival; back then, it had almost been tame in comparison.

  she's just finishing up peeling the potato in her hand when the commotion happens. tabitha sees the piece of carrot go flying in her peripheral vision and turns her head to look at him. something about the look on jade's face and the ridiculousness of it all pulls a quiet laugh from her lips, though she automatically raises a hand to her mouth to stifle it. but despite all of the trauma and the grief and the fucked up nature of this place, it feels good to laugh, even a little. " usually the vegetables are supposed to stay on the cutting board, " tabitha points out wryly, picking up the next potato. " try to be a little more delicate with it, " she adds, though it's less a criticism than a tease.

[terrorsmade]

none of what tabitha says is surprising to him , jade can practically picture it --- and it's a hell of a lot nicer than most of the images he's able to conjure up in his head these days ... and soon enough , he has another mental image that he plans to keep ; jade just manages to catch the way the laugh shapes her mouth before her hand moves to cover it , and his stomach seems to flip. she's so goddamn beautiful ... he'd always pushed down that thought , refused to acknowledge it ... why would he ?? she'd been married , and while he might be a piece of shit , that was a line even he wouldn't cross ... now , the thoughts , the feelings are damn near impossible to ignore. his soul , and it sounds so fucking corny to think that , recognizes tabitha's ... but that's a dangerous road to tread , so jade scoops to pick up the rogue carrot and deflects ; ' what , really ?? ' for a moment , he genuinely tries to look as if that information is new to him. ' five second rule , right ?? ' he asks , moving to flip on the facet and rinse the piece of carrot off in the running water.

if anything , jade doesn't want to waste it ... it wasn't terribly long ago that they were worried about running out of food , and if the settlement is no longer safe , then ... jade pops the carrot piece into his mouth and chews. it's certainly a less offensive thing to put in his mouth than the psychedelic mushrooms he'd found in the freaky ass forest. ' noted , ' jade murmurs , fingers touching his forehead in mock salute. ' that kid is a sponge ... he absorbs everything ... ' circling back to both the earlier conversation and his cutting board , jade resumes his task. ' I'm willing to bet tian - chen yelled at him a lot less. probably didn't smack him with dish towels either ... ' the soft huff of his own laughter seems to surprise him , and as his knife thuds softly against the cutting board , he glances over at tabitha again , his expression bemused. ' what's that say about me that she would have rather worked with a ten - year - old than me ?? '

[poohsources]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH EVERYBODY ! let’s take this as a reminder that no matter what you identify as, no matter if you’re out of the closet or not, no matter if you’re still questioning, all of you are incredibly loved and i am so damn proud of you.

[empireburned]

  it's certainly taken some adjusting, having jade back at the house again. what had started as him offering his assistance to ethan in locating the lake of tears had steadily evolved, more or less, into ' helping to figure things out. ' the extent to which julie and ethan believe these excuses is difficult to gauge, and tabitha feels the incessant weight of guilt for keeping so much from them. but neither side says much more on it, and for now, that's probably for the best.

  she does wonder, however, the kind of toll it takes on jade, to be here and not really feel like he belongs. it's a weird limbo they're in right now, one that constantly has tabitha second guessing herself, both with the kids and with jade himself. she can't imagine how much more uncomfortable it must be for him. to his credit, he doesn't complain, doesn't try to push his presence in the house. while tabitha appreciates the respect he's shown, it seems as though he's been tiptoeing around them all. hopefully there'll be a time when it feels more natural for him to be here, if natural is even a feeling anyone can find in this place.

  tabitha moves around the kitchen — another thing that had felt neutral, enjoyable even, in the past — mostly on autopilot. her thoughts wander to the news she'd received from ellis earlier, that they'd retrieved roger's body from the settlement. that the wounds in his face had been sewn up like that of a doll's ...

  despite being deep in thought, the sound of jade's voice doesn't startle her; if anything, it's grounding, it brings her back to herself. she glances over her shoulder at him, setting the ordeal with roger at the back of her thoughts. " that depends ... how good are your cooking skills? " the corner of her lips lift on one side as she beckons him forward with a nod of her head. " how do you feel about chopping some vegetables? "

[terrorsmade]

how good are your cooking skills ?? it's a question he should have seen coming , honestly ... and he probably should have considered coming up with a better answer before he'd opened his mouth in the first place. regardless , jade notices the hint of a smile on her lips , and something about it seems to settle his raging nerves ... ' decidedly not great ... ' he answers truthfully , but continues his forward trajectory towards her in spite of it ( as if he could possibly do anything else ) ' but , tian - chen did put me to work a time or two ... ' most likely complaining about him all the while , but he finds the thought far more comforting than insulting ...

jade moves to stand near where tabitha indicates , glancing down at some vegetables awaiting their fate on a wooden cutting board and moves to carefully take the knife. he's certainly no gordan ramsey with the thing , but he hasn't cut himself ( yet ) which jade will take as a win. after one particularly rough cut , a hunk of carrot seems to fly up from the cutting board and torpedo onto the floor. ' jesus !! ' he exclaims , features morphing into a look of sheepish embarrassment as he gazes down at his blunder.

[terrorsmade]

that out of place feeling seems to stick with him. it lingers through the conversation with the kids , through julie's whatevers and crossed arms , through ethan's questioning gaze and obvious hesitation. jade's dry - mouthed and anxious in an entirely new way , which is almost impressive ; this place has unlocked levels of discomfort and fear that jade had never even come close to knowing in his ordinary life. his bag , full of the measly possessions he has to his name --- possessions that don't even truly belong to him --- rests near the edge of the sofa. he refuses any other accommodations , citing the assurance that it would only be a few days ... that the sofa would do fine , he's slept worst places and he barely sleeps at all these days ... he actively tries to give off a temporary drifter vibe , someone benefitting from tabitha's unrelenting kindness and not that he's trying to fill the jim - shaped hole in all of their lives ... jade looks the part , feels the part ... hopefully ethan and julie feel it , too ...

the house itself feels different. not a bad sort of different necessarily , but jade feels tian - chen's absence acutely ... half expects to find her in the kitchen making tea , or kenny rushing down the stairs like a bat of of hell ... instead , it's the sound of julie's slammed door and ethan's far quieter retreat up the stairs. instead , he finds tabitha in the kitchen , seemingly prepping for supper by herself and --- as it so often does now , the sight of her stops him in his tracks. jade lingers in the doorway , unable to move closer or slink away as that feeling slams like a wrecking ball into his chest. he wonders if she feels it , too , on some level. wonders if she also just knows when he enters a room , when they share the same physical space as though their bodies were somehow attuned to one another ... but , jade gives his head a subtle shake and draws in a steadying breath. ' need some help ?? ' he asks , already taking a step forward before tabitha can answer.

@empireburned

[empireburned]

  " well, i don't know. " her reply is quick, infused with confusion and a slight defensiveness as her shoulders rise. " i don't know much they should know or ... or what i should be protecting them from. " ethan and julie are traumatized, fragile, grieving. but the worst part about this place is that it waits for nothing and no one. it isn't going to give them time to mourn or cope or heal. what if their ignorance of the truth puts them in danger? but then ... what if telling them the truth drives them even further away from tabitha than they already are? they still don't understand what had happened to jim, why their parents hadn't returned to town together. how much more would they hate her if they knew?

  tabitha exhales sharply, eyes squeezing shut as she runs a hand over them. " okay. you're right, maybe it's too much. " he hasn't even vocalized that thought, but she knows it's there. she lets out another sigh, arms crossing loosely in front of her as jade makes an alternate suggestion. " we could do that, " she replies after a moment of consideration. " it's a start. " truth be told, tabitha isn't sure how they're going to manage to extend that past a few days. she also suspects that julie won't be entirely on board with this, but if it's for ethan, it's unlikely she'll put up much of a fight. the rest, they'll just have to face when it comes.

  " are you okay with this? " the question seems to come out of nowhere, her gaze flitting over his features as she reaches out to gently smooth out the front edges of his sweater. it's such a natural, oddly familiar gesture that it takes tabitha a moment to realize she's doing it. with a soft clearing of her throat, she pulls them back. " uh ... i just didn't think to ask, but ... " again, what choice is there, really?

[terrorsmade]

he's already preparing to back down --- what the hell does he know about kids anyways ?? then , tabitha backs down. agrees with him. and instead of feeling some sort of satisfaction that she'd taken his suggestion , jade feels something twist uncomfortably. not your monkeys , not your circus ... no amount of whatever the hell he feels for tabitha magically makes him have any sort of authority where her children are involved , and it certainly doesn't give weight to his opinions. he feels so goddamn out of place that he can't even seem to properly run his mouth , so he simply drops a nod to show his acknowledgement. ' it's a start ... ' he agrees , but his words lack his usual conviction.

he's assuming that's the end of it , that she'll be satisfied with the result of their conversation and leave. or drag him back to the house ( though , not much dragging would be required ... ) instead , another question flies from her lips , and her hands find him again. jade's lips part as he looks at her , as he feels the warmth of her hands even through layers of clothing. and that feeling rises in him again , the same one he'd first felt at the bottle tree after playing that song. the feeling he refuses to put a name to , but his refusal to acknowledge it does nothing to dampen it ... ' yeah , fine ... ' jade chokes it out , forcing his shoulders to move in a nonchalant shrug. ' let me just grab my stuff ... ' he moves a couple steps and slings a bag over his shoulder , his gaze resting longingly on the bottle of booze for a heartbeat or two ... then ; ' ready when you are ... '

[empireburned]

  a breath of a sardonic laugh passes through tabitha's lips as she shrugs as shoulder. ethan and julie's reactions are a valid concern, one that had certainly crossed her mind briefly before she'd made her suggestion. " i don't know, " she answers honestly. most of the fire in her has fizzled out now, replaced by a weariness she can feel all the way into her bones. ethan might let it slide with some convincing, but julie is another story entirely. and tabitha gets it; the timing and the optics aren't ideal. " but what other choice do we have? " having jade return to the house might result in some tension or disagreements, but it's better than the alternative.

  " maybe ... maybe i will just have to try explaining all of this to them, " she muses grimly. as if it'll be that simple. just the idea of trying to explain to her children that she's returned to this place many times over centuries with jade has her bringing a hand up to massage lightly at the spot between her brows. that would be a long and complicated conversation, but perhaps it's overdue. " jim was always better at this sort of thing, " tabitha adds with a rueful smile, reluctantly addressing the elephant in the room. she finds herself wishing he were here now to help her with this. " he had a way of getting through to them that i ... " she trails off, shaking her head and glancing away.

[terrorsmade]

what other choice do we have ?? jade blows out a breath , his shoulders rising and falling. there was the obvious , the one that tabitha is obviously going to shut down ; he continues sleeping here , alone and pretty goddamn defenseless , accepting any consequences that come from that particular decision ... but he clings to her words , the conviction behind them ... she doesn't want to lose him , too. and that has to fucking count for something. at least one person in this god - forsaken town wants him to keep breathing , and , lucky for him , it's tabitha ... everyone else can take a fucking hike ...

' explain ... all of it ?? ' he repeats dumbly , eyes going wide as he tries to imagine that conversation --- hey kids , so I know your dad just died but actually jade and I are kind of soulmates ... jade actually winces at the thought , his stomach churning. it sounds fucking ridiculous ... fake ... and even if they could convince ethan and julie that it was the real deal , that doesn't magically make it easier to swallow. jim was their father ... jim was gone. and maybe that's even partially jade's fault ... it's all just so much to throw at already traumatized children living in an actual monster - infested hellscape ... ' maybe ... maybe we hold off on that for a bit ... I --- ' I think it's too much ... he doesn't say it , but it hangs there regardless. ' ethan is still trying to figure out where the lake of tears could be , right ?? maybe ... maybe we start there. we're so committed to the task that we gotta work long nights ... and since the goddamn freaks make moving around after dark a death sentence , viola !! I'm crashing on the couch for a bit ... '

[empireburned]

  tabitha doesn't look at him as he approaches, afraid of what emotions might yet be lingering in her gaze. she doesn't even know where all of that had come from (or rather, she does, but she's not quite willing to look any further into it at the moment). the panic is still there, making her heart flutter uncomfortably in her chest, but jade's hands on her arms help a little. her lower lip catches between her teeth as her eyes sting once more, alerting her to the inevitability of more tears. rather than let jade see them, she leans forward, her forehead resting gently against his shoulder.

  " i'm not, " tabitha replies, her voice slightly muffled. her arms, which had still been hanging awkwardly at her sides until now, finally move to wrap around him, albeit lightly. some part of her still feels the guilt of the gesture, as if she's being disloyal to jim, but right now, she needs this. they both do. " i'm not giving up, " she assures him once more, her tone taking on a bit more conviction as she rests her chin atop his shoulder. tabitha stays like that for a bit, and when she does finally pull back, it's not completely out of his reach. " you can't stay here anymore, " she informs him, sniffling quietly as she runs the back of her finger along her waterline, wiping away a tear. " if this is what's going to happen, we need to stick together. you should come back to the house. "

[terrorsmade]

jade's arms seem to know what to do. as tabitha lessens the distance between them , his arms automatically move to slide around her and hold her in a gentle embrace. and why wouldn't they ?? how many lives had he lived with her ?? how many times had he held her just like this ?? not here , not yet ... not until just now , but it feels oh - so - familiar regardless ... a lump forms in his throat , his eyes falling shut as he savors the closeness. there's the slightest pang of guilt , he can practically feel the weight of jim's presence but he can't bring himself to pull away before she does.

' good. ' it sounds strained , and jade clears his throat roughly. ' me either ... ' he murmurs , voice soft and clogged with more emotion than he wanted. once tabitha does move back slightly , jade keeps his gaze towards the ceiling as he blinks back the moisture that had gathered in his own eyes. he's in the process of pulling a shaky breath into his lungs when she speaks again , and his eyes snap back to her face immediately. ' tabitha , I --- ' the start of a protest is on the tip of his tongue , but she isn't entirely wrong ... staying at the bar alone made him a sitting duck if and when the townsfolk decided to throw him into the fire. and , he likes the idea of being close if anything tries to happen to her or the kids ... ' are julie and ethan going to be okay with that ?? ' he asks , his brows drawing together in concern. even if jade comes back and sleeps on the couch , he has a feeling it will be a tough sell for two people that just lost their father ... and it's not like there is an easy explanation for it either ... julie , he's sure , will see through any bullshit ...

[empireburned]

  it wouldn't have to be everyone. tabitha sees the truth in that statement, but it's not what she wants to hear. if it truly comes down to it, murder only requires one person, someone pushed to the brink or egged on by fear or persuasion. still, she throws him an exasperated look, almost wishing that he would lie to her instead (it's not his style).

  " it's not just the two of them, " she argues after a moment. " there's kenny and ellis. and — and henry and victor. kristi, surely. " but tabitha can already imagine the counterpoints to those names as well — kenny has lost everything in this place, who's really going to listen to henry or victor, etc. for each of these thoughts that occur to her, tabitha's panic spikes a little more. she continues her pacing, but stops when jade points out his own lack of popularity in town, something snapping within her.

  " i don't care, i am not going to lose you now too! " the words burst from her lips so suddenly and with such force that even tabitha looks a little taken aback. after a long moment, she crosses her arms and angles her body slightly away from jade, one hand covering her mouth as if doing so will keep any further outbursts at bay.

[terrorsmade]

jade lets her ramble off the names without an aubible protest. as far as he was concerned , he'd said his piece , presented the argument in a pretty damn ironclad way ... it was possible --- of course it fucking was --- it's happened before ... but he can see that it's bothering her , hear her voice get more and agitated as she talks ... the last thing he wants is to upset her , but in this place ?? it's pretty damn hard not to ...

he responds in his head , however ... kenny was a good guy , but could easily become a loose canon ... ellis' priority is fatima , and if that was compromised it could be a tipping point ... henry and victor aren't exactly the most sane and well respected people around town , either ... and who knows how victor would react to the information that jade had been christopher and tabitha had been ... kristi's got the doctor thing going for her , but ---

tabitha's outburst snaps him out of that line of thinking , and jade's head snaps up from the sheer volume of it. it's certainly not the first time tabitha has yelled at him , won't be the last ... he's sort of used to being put through the wringer by members of the matthews family by now ... then , the words seem to properly register ; I am not going to lose you now too !! warmth blossoms in his chest , wars with the icy dread in his stomach ... before he knows it , jade is on his feet again and standing before her , his features soft. he reaches for her , both hands lightly resting against her upper arms. jade longs to pull her in for a real hug , but his cowardice wins out. ' hey , I never said I was just gonna lay down and let it happen ... ' his tongue flicks against his lower lip , moistening the chapped skin there. ' you think I wanna join the ranks of the violin playing dead guys ?? hell no. my money's still on us figuring this out , so you better not be giving up on me now ... '

[empireburned]

  her head continues to slowly shake, denial stubbornly taking root. but despite that, something seems to finally click for her. first they blame you. the image of patty's face — half-burned, afraid, distrusting, casting wary glances tabitha's way — floats to the forefront of her thoughts. undoubtedly, she'll want an explanation for how tabitha had known anything about those doll monsters, and it's impossible to provide those answers without including everything else they've learned. and if patty gets a hold of that information, who knows how far it will travel after that. who knows what the reaction to it will be.

  " no. " her head shake becomes more adamant as she stands, taking two steps away with her hands on her hips. " no, that's ridiculous, " tabitha continues as she turns to face him again. her tone almost sounds angry, but it's driven by the fear that shines so clearly in her dark eyes. " that — that is not going to happen. boyd and donna, they would never allow that to happen. " but even as she makes the argument, tabitha comes to the realization that in some small part, it already has. the town meeting following her return from maine ... the frustration and the accusatory questions. they'd been ready to crucify her for failing to do as they expected.

  she takes up the pacing that jade had managed to resist just moments before. her hands rise to her mouth in what almost looks like a prayer, though tabitha has long since forsaken any notion of a higher power. " we've come to know these people, jade. they are our friends. do you really think that they would be capable of doing something like this? "

[terrorsmade]

he'd expected this response , denial always seems to be tabitha's first line of defense ... and jade gets it. hell , he'd thought the town was all an elaborate prank that tobey was pulling when he'd first gotten here ... he knows a thing or two about denial ... and it doesn't exactly help that tabitha also tends to see the best in people , or tries too ... an admirable trait , one that jade has always struggled with ... he's met some of the most ruthless human beings on the face of the earth whilst fighting tooth and nail to earn his place in the tech industry ... and jade recognizes some of those traits in the people around here.

he watches with tired eyes as tabitha moves to stand , taking steps away from him as if his words were so repugnant , so unsavory that she had to physically distance herself from him. and it's immediate , the pang of regret that her hand has left his forearm ... it frees him up , however , to take another swig. ' it wouldn't have to be everyone ... ' he points out matter - of - factly , his voice sounding oddly resolved. ' we've already seen some of them gear up in full angry mob form ... the only thing missing was the pitchforks and torches ... ' they just need someone to work them into a fervor , or a common cause ... they're scared , desperate ... and once they know about him and tabitha , they'll have a common enemy ... one that's much easier to get their hands on than those monsters that come out at night ...

' boyd and donna are just two people ... powerful people , sure ... but that power doesn't make them invincible and it's certainly not absolute ... ' they've already seen boyd's authority waver , his decisions questioned ... he's not quite the infallible hero he'd been when they'd first rolled into town ... jade leans forward , his forearms resting against his thighs , head bowed. ' and , I'm definitely on the leader board for a person to throw under the bus , tabitha ... '

[empireburned]

  concern intermingles with confusion as she watches him. any certainty he might have possessed in comforting her seems to have evaporated, replaced by anxious energy, reluctance even. the first revelation is enough to explain the change in his demeanor; without even thinking about it, tabitha rests her hand against his lower forearm, the pad of her thumb gently stroking the exposed skin near his wrist. reliving a loved one's death — now that's something that makes sense in this place, something that feels like a normal torment here. but the rest of it?

  " they were you? " she repeats softly, biting her lower lip as she thoughtfully averts her gaze to the floor. she supposes that does make sense. there's a strange (albeit small) part of her that envies him for having those pieces to the puzzle. tabitha may have some of the memories of those lives, the emotions of them, but not much more than that. what had their lives, their personalities, their connections with others been like?

  all of the questions vanish and the cogs stop turning in her brain as he gets to the crux of the situation. her gaze snaps back to him, head shaking slowly. " murdered by what? " the monsters were capable of murder for the sheer sake of murder, weren't they? " that ... no, that doesn't make any sense. " the unspoken answer rests there between them, but tabitha can't (or won't) process the full meaning of it.

[terrorsmade]

his throat works as tabitha's hand moves to his forearm. jade tries not to pay too much attention to the point of contact , won't even let his gaze fall there for fear of scaring her off ... the truth of the matter is that it helps. he gains some measure of comfort and strength from the gentle stroke of her thumb. jade's head moves in a single nod at her first question , then , he clears his throat roughly. suddenly , it feels as though it's lined with sandpaper and he wants to reach for the bottle ... but he resists , takes a deep breath and ;

' it kinda makes too much sense ... ' another urge rises , quick and impulsive , to stand up and pace around. tabitha's hand keeps him rooted , but the fingers on his free hand drum against his leg with restless energy. ' first they blame you , then they hate you ... eventually they kill you ... ' he quotes it , parrots the words that had come from the younger jade's mouth. and somehow , that's not even the worst part ... somehow , the words that have been buzzing around his brain since he'd come back to himself aren't about him at all ...

and tabitha ??

for tabitha , it's worse ...

' I think ... I think we need to start seriously considering who we can actually trust in this place ... '

[empireburned]

  we are going to protect them. tabitha looks at him for a long moment, some of the edges in her features softening. the sentiment hits her hard, reminds her that despite what she'd been thinking, despite jim being gone, she's not alone. she still has a partner in all of this, one with whom a connection has spanned over centuries and lifetimes. words fail her in that moment (nothing quite feels adequate enough to showcase just how much that means to her), but she nods in acknowledgement, hoping that somehow he understands.

  but her expression quickly shifts with concern as he pulls his arm away and answers her question. there's something about the manner in which he replies, the long pull he takes from the bottle of alcohol that has dread settling like a stone against tabitha's chest. " what do you mean? " she asks apprehensively, brows furrowed as she angles her body a little more towards him. " what did he say? anything meaningful? or helpful? " it seems unlikely, based on the word cryptic, but something must have affected him, especially since he's not being particularly forthright with the contents of the conversation.

[terrorsmade]

as shitty as tabitha's report had been , jade finds he preferred it to having to tell his part. even if yet another problem has been revealed and another townsperson had met their untimely end , the conversation had somehow been easier when jade was simply trying to comfort her. now he's gotta reveal what he'd found out and likely heap even more stress onto her plate. ' fuck , I dunno ... ' he runs his fingers through his hair , making the thick curls stand up even more crazily than they had been before.

' first off , I got to relive my grandmother's death ... so fun ... ' he gives his head a little shake as if to clear it. ' I guess ... I found out that all the people I've been seeing , they're me. past versions ... which , I guess makes sense , now that I think about it ... ' another drink , because the next part is arguably the worst bit of information he'd gathered , and he needs that little break before he presses on. ' well , apparently I was just as unlikable in all those past iterations ... because none of my ghosts were torn apart by the monsters , they were murdered ... '

[empireburned]

  she eyes him dubiously, her frown deepening. it's hard to think that all of this isn't her fault when she and jade are tied to this place. based on everything they've managed to uncover thus far, her lives have been nothing but failure after failure. what if this time is no different? what if they're simply doomed to live out this purgatory on repeat for the rest of their eternities?

  it's too heavy a thought to bear at the moment and tabitha looks away with a shallow shake of her head. " not this time, " she says quietly, knuckles resting gently against her lips. " i can't keep putting them in danger ... i have to protect them, but i don't how to do that. " maybe there simply isn't a way to protect her children in this place, and that is a truly troubling thought.

  we learned something. the remark takes a few moments to properly register, but once it does, her dark eyes lift to find his face again. tabitha hadn't necessarily set out to gain any knowledge, but jade had. " what about the mushrooms? did you see anything? " the fact that he's still in one piece seems to be a good sign, but there's no telling where he's at mentally.

[terrorsmade]

' we are going to protect them ... ' he says it with as much confidence as he can muster. jade knows now that if push comes to shove , if a remaining member of the matthews family was facing down dire straights , he would lay down his life if it meant giving them a chance. and maybe that's what he's meant to do , maybe he's disposable in the grand scheme of things ... maybe in another forty years , a new iteration of his soul will trip on forest mushrooms and see this version of him playing a violin on the steps of colony house , a knife in his chest or bullet wound in his head ... he hopes not , hopes that this time is different and they'll both survive. that they'll all be able to go home , but ....

as if tabitha can see into his head , she switches the subject to the very thing that jade had been thinking about. he rubs a hand against his forehead , then reaches for the alcohol again. the next drink is far larger than the first , and , after a few moments of careful consideration , jade lets his arm fall away from tabitha's shoulders. ' oh , I saw plenty ... ' he mutters , the back of his hand moving to wipe against his mouth. ' including my twelve - year - old self giving me unsolicited advice and cryptic ass answers in french ... '