Texts from Castlevania

What happens in the castle, stays in the castle. Unless someone posts it on the internet. Feel free to submit texts using the "Submit" button at the top of the page!

[textsfromcastlevania]

(708): I'm lost and stupid without you.

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(306): Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.

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(518): I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit

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where the heckcrap is that one you put up of granfalloon and the it's raining men song i can't find it heeeeeeeeeeelp

I gotchu fam

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(413): Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.

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(651): It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.

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(905): Sonia carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her

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(360): A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".

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(231): Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.

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(314): The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch guy

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I know I haven’t been keeping up with this blog lately, but this morning I woke up from a dream where Netflix announced that CVTV season 3 was actually going to be a Carmilla-focused spinoff sitcom called The Real Housewives of Transylvania, and if I have to be haunted by that mental image, so do all of you.

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I lost 3 followers after posting this

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I had a motherfucking prophetic vision, and you fools shunned me for it

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I’M GOIN’ IN

Mod found season 3 of the Netflix cartoon. Expect a few Thoughts(TM) posts and relevant texts to come.

The purpose of this post is to say that, like with S2, all things related to season 3 will be tagged with “CVTV S3” for the next few weeks. Blacklist for a temporary spoiler-free experience.

[textsfromcastlevania]

(716): I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.

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(516): I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love

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(770): Alucard about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.

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(602): It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.

[textsfromcastlevania]

Welp, I’ve been a terrible fan who’s paid absolutely no attention to anything, and apparently CVTV Season 3 happened?

I broke up with my Netflix password source, so be patient while I figure out how to watch this for you guys. In the meantime...hi, any new fans who find this blog! Enjoy the vast wealth of CV content before 2020.