Texts From Gravity Falls

Welcome to "Texts From Gravity Falls!" Here the only mystery is what were they thinking and how much booze was involved! If you have suggestions for photos or texts or both, send 'em in! Images are made in GIMP.

[ruinedchildhood]

These grandkids planned to surprise their grandma at the airport dressing as t-rex but she heard about it and planned her own surprise.

[68623]

I might seem okay but deep down I wanna go on a vacation every month

[aiyanayanas]

This shit is my internal dilemma

[sourdough-seal]

writing is easy actually. all you have to do is tell people what happened

[enjoylentgreen]

[senseiwu]

Not to derail a silly post with something serious but

This is why I've found it helpful to start out with a bare-bones dot point list of things that happen. Basic idea of what happened, what feelings are felt, the gist of what characters say. Sometimes you even get cool ideas for lines while you're doing it, and can add them in.

Then you come back later and just. Expand on the dot points. Make it as flowery as you want, get into the details. You know where you're starting, and where you need to go.

(I don't do this with all stories, some are just vibes the whole way through)

[depsidase]

[thehotgirlproject]

Starving You is the Point: The Neuroscience of Hunger and Obedience in America

We are watching a government experiment in population management using stress, scarcity, and biology to keep people too tired to fight back.

[duckbunny]

don't infantilise yourself. you are not a child who needs an adult to make your decisions for you. you are a splendid and magnificent autocrat and you are consulting your trusted advisors. you are exercising great wisdom by inviting an expert to give their opinion before making your ruling. often the path of wisdom is to say "good morning, I'm trying to [perform task] and I have a question about [aspect], can you tell me who I should speak to for advice?" before you do it. sometimes the path of wisdom is to hire a plumber. there are times when you cannot do things for yourself but that doesn't mean you are not an adult. you don't need a grown-up. you need a specialist.

[dynamitebean]

“May I ask you to confirm why I was called here?” she said.

“His Majesty has shown a disinclination toward tomorrow’s surgery,” Jinshi replied.

Maomao stood for a moment, her mouth agape. Then she said, “Whoa, whoa, whoa!”

“Don’t ‘Whoa, whoa, whoa!’ me,“” Jinshi answered, lips pursed.

The Apothecary Diaries by Natsu Hyuuga, Volume 15, Chapter 14: The Patient’s Consent

[ryuuna]

sibling tomfoolery

(tho using magic like that is not Hecate approved 😔)

[sandcheeze13]

got another code red moment for us... :/

Federal Register :: Request Access

please actually reblog this post this time, as this one will gut national parks for more fucking paper. we have 14 days to stop it, giving us literally no time to do so.

they are literally betting on us to not do anything about it, because they're that desperate on keeping control, and ruining lives for everyone, but themselves.

[lingonberry24]

The proposed rule would rescind the 2001 Roadless Area Conservation Rule (2001 Roadless Rule) (66 FR 3244, 36 CFR Subpart B (2001)), which prohibits road construction, road reconstruction, and timber harvesting in inventoried roadless areas, with limited exceptions.

[prismatic-bell]

Took me five minutes.

Go do it.

[wetwareproblem]

I just used the line “that’s not an asshole move, it’s a whole asshole ballet” and I’m kinda proud of it so it’s going here where it will get the recognition it deserves.

[tealdearest]

A pas de douche, if you will

[wetwareproblem]

All right, the rest of you can go home, this one wins.

[ilajue]

call me a dirty communist radical but I think everyone should know if they live near toxic waste

[ilajue]

if youre in the united states and would like to learn new and terrible things about where you live, you can visit the EPA's Environmental Justice Screening map and put in your location or zipcode

click on superfund proximity to see how close you are to a superfund site (location contaminated with hazardous material)

heres Niagra Falls NY! google love canal!

its a good tool to see what environmental factors could be harming your health that you may not know about. this is not limited to toxic waste so look around at it

my favorite is looking at roads. there are some interesting correlations. Here is a map of Buffalo NY with traffic proximity

here it is again but with where people are getting asthma :P

crazy

heres where the people of color live in Buffalo btw

in case you where wondering what the explanatory factor here is, its the 6-lane expressway that they ran through a residential community in the 50s. a redlined neighborhood btw. the road used to be beautiful parkway. thank you Urban Renewal, thank you Robert Moses, and thank you Kensington Expressway

ok heres the link again because now you really want to go look at it lol

[ilajue]

anyways yeah um environmental health issues are super insidious and not talked about enough. i know thinks seem daunting and scary when we talk about environmental problems, things like climate change are huge and all-encompassing. The way you can make the most impact, real tangible impact is by learning about things local to you!!!!

learn about them, talk to other people about them, organize or find a way to get involved with orgs that already exist. grassroots activism is infinitely more effective than they want you to know and its your responsibility to yourself and your neighbors to try to make things better good luck I love you all

[dungeonmalcontent]

One day I showed up to D&D and one of the guys in our group, before we could even start playing, was like "guys, look at this thing I found." And pulled up either this exact map or a very similar one that cross checks environmental hazards from industrial facilities with average income (more detailed than by zip code, it was pretty cool). And we use a big TV embedded in the game table for maps and stuff, which he pulled this up on, so we spent like half an hour looking at where we all lived and going "oh. Shit." And then we sat there a bit kind of ambling through some cool down small talk.

And like, the thing that kind of made it real for everyone was the context of it being on the screen we use to look at world maps for a fantasy game. It was very surreal for some of the guys at the table, the more conservative ones in particular, like they could see the map and it was showing them the forces of Mordor marching to their doorstep. And for a short time they understood that there are actually vast and evil forces in this world that they could defeat with a weapon, they were just large corporations commiting environmental crimes with very well protected CEOs and fantastic lawyers.

[ilajue]

check out your location while you can!!! Part of Trumps immediate changrs includes getting rid of public information sources like this one. I don't know if they will keep this website up for much longer so go on and download any reports or pollution information you might want

[ilajue]

so as of today, February 5th 2025 this website is down. This is coinciding with mass censorship of other government agencies online from the Trump administration. Those who were able to download their data before the removal, keep it and learn it and share it with your peers. Those who did not get the chance, know that there are other avenues and follow them. Information is power and they are trying to take it away from you. Do not let them.

here are some other mapping resources from the notes. this is not everything, but it is a start.

Check the quality of your tap water here:https://www.ewg.org/tapwater/

Check your climate vulnerability here: https://climatevulnerabilityindex.org/

explore historical redlining maps here: https://dsl.richmond.edu/panorama/redlining

this is just the wikipedia page of current superfund sites, take a look and see where your state has hazardous waste sites.

look into the history of your area and TALK ABOUT IT. be annoying and loud about it. don't stop learning and don't stop talking.

[ilajue]

update! here is a clone of the website, thank you @boots-fastened-slip-fashion for linking this in the replies I'm putting it here so it can be accessed along with the other sites :)

[ilajue]

hey! if you're in the notes worrying about how the website is down, you should be rbing this version, which has a replica of the site and a bunch of other resources!!!

[i-need-of-a-hobby]

stan is the only member of the pines twins^2 to never make a deal with bill and i think he needs more credit for that.

ford makes, just, so many deals with his demon boyfriend

dipper literally trades his body to bill in sock opera

and while i will die on the hill that it was never her fault, mabel is tricked into making a deal with him for weirdmagenon.

but stan never gets tricked. the only time he comes close was when he was pretending to be ford but that was with the sole purpose of getting bill erased. never does bill get to him or twist his thoughts. for being the "dumb one" he's surprisingly rational in this was.

nobody matches bill intellectually, ford's fatal flaw is that he thought he did, and the pines family wins because they have an emotional core that bill never had (the power of sibling bonding saves the day and i love it) but ill go out on a limb and say that out of everyone, stan is the only one to match bill's street smarts.

bill's a master manipulator but stan is a professional con-artist with no respect for the law, you tell me who's coming out on top.

stan successfully faked his own death, ran a business for 30 years, taught himself some sort of advanced engineering to repair the portal, evaded local, federal and international authorities from the age of 18, and did it all without any support.

and going back to when he pretends to be ford to get bill to enter his mind, that scene makes stan the only character to ever outwit bill.

anyways this has been a stan pines appreciation post, thank you and goodnight

[cryptotheism]

Elf cooking show: First person helmetcam of a an elf hunting and killing a deer with their bare hands. They sing a lullabye to the deer before they snap it's neck and prepare a side salad.

Dwarf cooking show: America's Test Kitchen but even more rigorous. 20 minutes of discussing how to maintain precise heat just to boil water.

Halfling cooking show: Great British Bake Off with soap-opera levels of internal drama. Everyone is stoned off their ass.

Orc cooking show: Edible mythbusters. The contestants must make bbq with a live dragon. People straight up die sometimes.

Goblin cooking show: Goblins don't really understand the concept of restaurants, but they have a show like Diners Dive ins and Dives for rooting through people's trash.

[gin-juice-tonic]

one off gag from my notes

[foxgirl87]

[paper-birdies]

He's just a funky lil' fella

[freshydip]

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[alexaloraetheris]

See, a scientist makes a little moisture sensor sensor for his plant to remember to water it.

But a mad scientist chooses that kind of audio.

Put this guy in castle Heterodyne, and they'd be best friends.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Well I would give a medieval peasant some spaghetti.

[what-even-is-thiss]

1. They don’t have forks. I would hand them a fork with it and see what they do.

2. They don’t have tomatoes. This is something they can never experience again

3. I would let them keep the plate because it’s a nice plate and I think they’d like it

[predatory-lesbians]

i love it when a post comes with its own FAQs

[good-fwiend-in-wome]

what the fuck do you mean they didn't have tomatoes

[what-even-is-thiss]

Tomatoes are not native to Afroeurasia and generally wouldn’t have been available on that continent before the Colombian exchange. When we refer to medieval peasants we’re usually referring to the poor of Europe and west Asia between the fall of the Roman Empire and the beginning of what we now call the Renaissance and Enlightenment periods. A time before the so-called age of exploration and colonization brought food such as tomatoes, maize, and potatoes to Afroeurasia and domesticated animals such as pigs and chickens to the Americas. European cuisine of the poor and rich alike before the Colombian exchange would still have been tasty with their wide selection of game meat, herbs, vegetables, and grains, but tomatoes would not have been available to them and that’s why I want to give a medieval peasant a plate of Italian-American style spaghetti with marinara sauce just like dad used to make

[juh-was-deactivated19691231-dea]

wait so. italy? i guess it’s not called afroeurasitaly, but…so “italian” food used to not have tomatoes? until they came from the americas? and they they what, decided “hey let’s just rebuild our national identity around these tasty christmas tree ornaments”? centuries of italy were lasagna-free and i’m just supposed to accept this

[what-even-is-thiss]

They had lasagna. It just didn’t look like what we think of lasagna today. It was more like layers of flat noodles with spices and cheese on a plate that you ate with your hands rather than a baked dish.

If you look at ancient Roman food there’s certain things we’d recognize as “Italian” like olive oil or fermented fish sauce or cheese but the flavor profile is completely different and pasta isn’t anywhere to be found. They also had herbs and spices that have since become unpopular or even gone extinct.

A lot of things we view as unmovable and unchanging about certain culture’s cuisines are incredibly recent developments. Modern Indian cuisine for example can be traced back to a singular guy in the 16th century. And these days lard is considered to be integral to making tamales but that wasn’t used until the Spanish brought over pigs and cows.

Food culture is something that can change very rapidly. Sometimes within a single generation. People generally use what they have available and what’s available can change at a moment’s notice.

[ailius-suffers-through-art]

This feels like watching a clown get questioned by the crowd before they pull out a history textbook and proceed to whack the audience repeatedly with it

[what-even-is-thiss]

That sums up pretty well what it’s like to be me yeah

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Let's all thank that singular guy in the 16th century for inventing the best food in the world