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some texts from last night incorrect quotes esque dealie. source for everything is textsfromlastnight.com submissions open

[textsfrommidgar]

Rude, to Reno: I wasn't worried. You assured me you'd make it home safe because you had pizza rolls were waiting for you.

[textsfrommidgar]

Cid: Can we fast forward all this to the part where we get gyros.

[textsfrommidgar]

Zack: Well technically I did have a shirt on.

Zack: It was just around my waist.

[textsfrommidgar]

Elena: So I just googled the ten commandments-

Reno: Yeah, we're fucked.

[textsfrommidgar]

Cloud: I was going through mum's stuff in the attic last night and I found a deer candelabrum.

Cloud: The antlers had candle holders- it was like a deep country menorah.

Tifa: We are going back and getting that thing right now.

[textsfrommidgar]

Sephiroth: Alright. I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night.

Genesis: This is a bet we're both destined to lose, I think.

[textsfrommidgar]

Zack: He washed my hair while I ate him out in the shower.

Zack: Bored or gay?

[textsfrommidgar]

Reno: So I woke up today with someone's doorknob in my pocket.

Elena: I hope everyone else got out of the house okay.

[textsfrommidgar]

Reno: The dude just kept asking me "do you love it? Tell me you love it," as I was riding him.

Zack: And?

Reno: I told him it was alright.

[textsfrommidgar]

Cloud: I feel like someone was just looking at my memory, took out an eraser and was like, "hope he doesn't need that".

[textsfrommidgar]

Reno: I can't believe I wasted a thong on a guy in a sweater vest.

[textsfrommidgar]

Aeris: I found Zack on the dance floor with his cellphone to his ear.

Aeris: He was saying that he didn't like the music they were playing so he was going to listen to his own.

[textsfrommidgar]

Aeris: Last night when I was hammered, I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favourite ones in the whole world.

Tifa: You needed a reminder??

[textsfrommidgar]

Cloud: So I hit rock bottom, and g-d threw me a shovel.

Cloud: And I contined to dig.

[textsfrommidgar]

Rude: Do you think that guy in all camo's going hunting or something?

Reno: Should I go bump into him and be all like "woah sorry, didn't see you there"?

[textsfrommidgar]

Cid: The last two calls in my phone are Domino's Pizza and 111.

Cid: I'm not sure how my night went.

[textsfrommidgar]

Zack: The brownie started to kick in before I finished the essay.

Zack: It became a race against my own increasing intoxication.