Team F Merc Notes - Copyright <c> 1969, Mann Co. OS Version 3.2 / Date - Wed 10-Sep-1969
Frequently seen: The Lounge area, outside playing baseball, running everywhere in the base, fried chicken restaurants
Important things to note:
- Egotistical (Like his father), but insecure
- Surprisingly decent artist
- Has a below than average IQ, easy to fool with large vocabulary
- Never stops talking, terrible at keeping secrets
- Has had a crush on Miss Pauling for years (Definitely one-sided)
- Gets easily distracted by women and talking about himself
- Drinks Bonk! to an excessive degree (probably contributed to his low IQ)
- Seems to be unaware of his real father
Age: Looks to be in his late 30s to early 40s
Frequently seen: outside marching or yelling at disembodied heads, digging in the dumpsters, around a campfire with cardboard cutouts during the weekends
Important things to note:
- Has no boundaries, willing to be fully nude ANYWHERE
- Genuinely believes his military status
- The only one in the base not drinking bottled water
- Stupid. Really really stupid.
- Loud and will yell at you if you’re not up by 6 AM.
- America is his only identity (DO NOT make jokes of it around him, unless you want to do 100 pushups.)
- Brings home raccoons (Probably has rabies. STAY AWAY)
- Micromanager, regardless of his lack of knowledge in a given subject
Name: ??? (Wiped from database)
Age: ??? (Completely covered from head to toe)
Frequently seen: The Lounge area, Engineer’s workshop, Anywhere involving fire, Respawn areas (even outside battles) Teufort alleyways
Important things to note:
- Will never take off mask, even during dinner
- Draws everywhere?? The main culprit of graffiti in the base
- Completely enraptured by fire, will set anything aflame
- Made own weapons (Impressive)
- Probably not human, not even sure what her/his gender is
- Has a close relationship with the Engineer
- Even his own team is afraid of her
- Has a collection of stuffed animals she leaves around everywhere (will burn anyone who touches them)
Name: Tavish Finnegan DeGroot
Age: Likely in his mid to late 30s
Frequently seen: The Living Room, Any pub/bar in town, The warehouse looking for supplies, Respawn Areas
Important things to note:
- Incomprehensible when completely plastered
- Loud. Hard to miss him when he enters a room
- The present owner of Eyelander
- Surprisingly clever, able to keep up with different types of personalities. (More aware of his surroundings than he appears. Watch out.)
- Makes his own bombs, sometimes drinks Nitroglycerine by accident
- Cannot live on anything other than alcohol
- Affectionate, a HUGE hugger (Avoid compliments when he’s fully hammered)
- His eye makes growling sounds at night (What possessed that thing?)
- Sometimes sneaks off to the BLU base (Adminstrator isn't going to like this)
Name: Milkhail [REDACTED]
Age: Looks to be in his late 40s to early 50s
Frequently seen: Respawn areas polishing his guns, The public library, The kitchen, The living room
Important things to note:
- Quiet. A little too quiet
- Usually in a corner somewhere, always watching when you least expect him or reading
- The best cook in the base
- Has names for every minigun he’s received (Flattering, really.)
- Sleeps with Sasha, his minigun
- Always has food packed up, great provider when you’re feeling peckish
- A likelihood that he knows more than he’s letting on (Be cautious of your speech around him)
- Very passionate during battles
- Has a close relationship with the Medic
Age: Likely in his early to mid 40s
Frequently seen: His workshop, fixing things around the base, Electrical room, Respawn machines, wandering around Teufort socializing with locals
Important things to note:
- INTERACTIONS MUST BE MADE WITH EXTREME CAUTION
- Will probably kill you, clever enough to make it look like an accident (Has 11 PhDs)
- Related to Fred Conagher (NEVER TELL HIM YOUR REAL NAME)
- Has a robotic arm he uses in battle, called the “Gunslinger”
- Has a father-child relationship with Pyro, the only one who can understand her
- Plays guitar during breaks
- Popular with Teufort residents, civilians are TOO comfortable being around him. (Flirtatious, but not at same level as Spy)
- Charming, which makes him popular with ladies and men (Potentially, a great manipulator)
- Never takes off his googles (Suspicious)
- Looks sweet, but likely isn’t (The way he smiles is offputting)
- Too smart for his own good, likely uses his polite demeanour hide his true nature (DO NOT trust this man under any circumstances)
- Stays late into the night
Frequently seen: Medbay, Experimenting with Engineer
Important things to note:
- Keeps a lot of doves in his workplace
- Will also probably kill you, but will brag about it
- Had his medical license revoked
- The only one who could give a medical examination in this area
- Has put animal parts in other mercs during surgery (DO NOT accept the Uber surgery, even if it puts you at a disadvantage)
- Type of man to ask invasive questions (very inquisitive when it comes to my physical body in general)
- The most sadistic one in the team, being oddly aroused by blood and violence (No shame whatsoever)
- Needs to be admitted to mental asylum, likely a psychopath (another merc with an offputting smile)
- Has a close relationship with Heavy
- Has a close relationship with Engineer (Probably planning something sinister. Stay far away from the those two)
- Also stays late into the night
Frequently seen: his Van, hunting out in the Badlands, near a phone booth outside
Important things to note:
- Never ever uses his room in base, sleeps in his van exclusively.
- Only comes in the base for food or coffee
- Keeps jars of his own piss (Diabolical)
- Hides in bushes, keeps watching and following me outside
- Introverted, not one for small talk
- Fights with Spy frequently
- Takes calls in a phone booth from a mysterious contact (usually stressed or arguing with whoever is on the other side)
Name: ??? (Wiped from database)
Frequently seen: Where you least expect him, his smoking room
Important things to note:
- NOSY, always sneaking around in places he doesn’t belong
- Egotistical (like his son), but has skills to back it up
- Playboy, especially popular with women
- Smells like a casino (not sure if he washes his balaclava)
- Fights with Sniper and Scout frequently
- Has his own lounge and doesn’t use the rest of the base services unless absolutely necessary
- Prissy and dramatic, usually the one to complain about meals or other merc’s habits (as if he doesn’t reek of tobacco)
- Strangely familiar? (Have we met before somewhere?)
Name: Hector Esteban San Juan Guerrero
Age: ??? (How does one age military macaws?)
Frequently seen: In his birdcage, perched up on the base’s roof, flying around the halls
Important things to note:
- Has an electric shock collar around his neck to prevent escape (Clever.)
- Mercs seem to be unaware of his past or intelligence (with Demoman as an exception)
- Very bad at keeping his normal parrot facade. (Bad at spying on the mercs too.)
- Somehow has contraband snuck in his cage??
- Has a close relationship with Demo
- Has a habit on taking on dump on Merc’s heads (Bastard probably thinks it’s hilarious)
- Easy to subdue due to smaller size
- Huge smoker in the likes of Spy
