don't wanna die

an indie, semi-selective, rp multimuse!

[children-ofthestars]

what the fuck rp starters

“Oh look, carnage.”

“I found you beat half to death in a dumpster. When I said I would call 9-1-1 you punched me in the face and said no before passing out.”

“Holy shit you look terrible.”

“Can’t go to my place, I’m making poison in my kitchen.”

“This is the tenth half-eaten corpse I’ve seen. It’s still kinda horrifying but less horrifying than the first time I saw one.”

“Yeah, that’s right, go wander off and commit murder somewhere else.”

Everything about your life makes so much sense now.”

“I don’t know, that sounds like a ‘fuck off’ kind of growl.”

“There’s a girl snorting cocaine off the counter in the bathroom. Just thought you’d wanna know.”

“I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news: some of this blood is mine. The bad news: most of it is mine. And I’m going to pass out.”

“After the fight some dude catcalled me on the way home so I turned around and spat a bunch of blood at his feet. Never seen someone regret doing something so fast.”

“Is that a fucking dragon?”

“That is genuinely disturbing.”

“Don’t smile. You have the smile of a serial killer.”

“This is surprisingly not the worst thing we’ve done. This is like, maybe halfway up the list.”

[littlelovelymemes]

*   —  —   VERY SERIOUS RIP VINE SENTENCE STARTERS

‘  when will you learn? when will you learn that your actionS HAVE CONSEQUENCES!  ’ ‘  can i get a waffle??? can i PLEASE get a waffle!!!  ’ ‘  go suck a dick, suck a dick suck a motherfucking dick  ’ ‘  you better stop! biTCH STOP  ’ ‘  do you ever like wake up and do something and you’re just like what the hec– fuck is goin on  ’ ‘  what’s good, brah you don’t know me! you don’t– WHAT IS GOOD! YOU DON’T KNOW! YOU DON’T KNOW ME! ’ ‘  it’s summer i got my hat on backwards and it’s time to fucking party  ’ ‘  anyone ever tell you you look like beyonce?  ’ ‘  I LOVE YOU, BITCH. I AIN’T EVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU BITCH  ’ ‘  BITCH I HOPE THE FUCK YOU DO YOU’LL BE A DEAD SON OF A BITCH, I TELL YOU THAT  ’ ‘  and they were roommates!  ’ ‘  oh my god, they were roommates  ’ ‘  oh my god, i love chipotle chipotle is my liiiiife   ’ ‘  this bitch empty YEET!!!!  ’ ‘  WHERE ARE THOOOOOSE  ’ ‘  THEY ARE MY CROCS  ’ ‘  bitch disgusting  ’ ‘  yeaaah. yeAAAAAH.  ’ ‘  so no head?  ’ ‘  THIS IS WHY MOM DOESN’T FUCKING LOVE YOU!  ’ ‘  i’ll kill you. i’ll kill you. i’m not even worried about it.  ’ ‘  ahh, fuck. i can’t believe you’ve done this  ’ ‘  aHH STOP! i could’ve dropped my croissant!  ’ ‘  what’s up me and my boys are going to see uncle kracker  ’ ‘  give me my hat back, jordan!  ’ ‘  do you wanna go see uncle kracker or no!?  ’ ‘  i sneezed! oh, i’m not allowed to sneeze?!  ’ ‘  look at all those chickens  ’ ‘  i smell like beef  ’ ‘  i gotta go home cause i forgot to… vacuum my room  ’ ‘  actually, megan, i can’t sit anywhere. i have hemorrhoids.  ’ ‘  is there anything better than pussy? yes! a really good book  ’ ‘  mom, i’m peein on myself  ’ ‘  sorry, i’m on the toilet. i hope the ice cream don’t melt, bitch  ’ ‘  honestly i don’t remember, i was probably fucked up. yeah, i was crazy back then  ’ ‘  I WON’T HESITATE, BITCH!  ’ ‘  just shut up and die slowly, okay?  ’ ‘  two bros chillin in a hot tub five feet apart cause they’re not gay!  ’ ‘  mother trucker, dude! that hurt like a butt cheek on a stick!  ’ ‘  i said WHOEVER THREW THAT PAPER, YOUR MOMS A HO  ’ ‘  you remember one time i liked you? GOOD! cause it never happened  ’ ‘  if your name is junior and you’re really handsome, come on raise your hand  ’ ‘  i’M WASHIN ME AND MY CLOTHES, BITCH! I’M WASHING ME AND MY CLOTHES  ’ ‘  waddup i’m jared, i’m nineteen, and i never fucking learned how to read  ’ ‘  whAT THE FUCK IS UP, KYLE? NO WHAT’D YOU SAY? WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE! STEP THE FUCK UP KYLE  ’ ‘  oh my god why can’t you just take the fricken compliMENT  ’ ‘  is that a wEED? i’m callin the police!!!  ’ ‘  yo, drink this vodka down the hatch c’mon  ’ ‘  it is wednesday, my dudes. aaaaAAAAAAH  ’ ‘  there is only one thing worst than a rapist… a child!  ’ ‘  get to del taco, they got a new thing called fre shavocado  ’ ‘  *to the tune of ghostbusters* i’m an adult virgin  ’ ‘  hi my name is tre, i have a basketball game tomorrooooow  ’ ‘  babeyou’reafuckingbitchiwantyoutogetthefuckoutofmycarcauseiwannabreakupwithyou i fucking hate you   ’ ‘  todays forecast we can clearly see that somebody got me fucked up. FUCKED. UP.  ’ ‘  whAT’S UP FUCKERS  ’ ‘  FUCK YOU, THAT’S WHY  ’ ‘  he needs some milk!  ’ ‘  you are my dad. YOU’RE MY DAD! boogie woogie woogie  ’ ‘  yEAH NO SHIT, HONEY  ’ ‘  oooooh my boy going to prom. fuck it up! fuck it up! fuck it up!  ’ ‘  hey, how you doin? i’m doing just fine. i lied. i’m dying inside  ’ ‘  honey, you got a big storm comin  ’ ‘  i wanna fucking DIE  ’ ‘  road work ahead? uh yeah i sure hope it does  ’ ‘  the yo-yo master did not answer, he just kept on yo-ing  ’ ‘  welcome back to me screaming  ’ ‘  you know sometimes i think to myself what are you waiting for you dumb stupid fuuuuuuck!  ’ ‘  do you ever shut the fuck up?  ’

[platonicrpmemes]

Platonic Requests for Affection

“I’m so tired… ”

“I don’t want to be alone.”

“My hands are shaking.” 

“Don’t get up. I’m comfortable like this.”

“Please stay. I’d like some company.”

“Could I get a hug?”

“Would you pet my hair?”

“Will you sing something for me?”

“I just want to be close to someone for a little bit. Is that okay?”

“Can I lay my head in your lap?”

“You can touch my hair but don’t mess it up!”

“Here, lay down in my lap.”

“You know, you’re pretty comfy.”

“Come here, ya big lug/small fry.”

“Just take my hand. It’ll be better, I promise.”

“I’m not letting go.”

“I’ll hold you as long as you need.”

“It’s okay to stay, you know.”

“I’m so happy you’re here with me.”

“Your hugs are warm. We should do this more often.”

[fantasticmemesandwheretofindthem]

RP starters inspired by ESC 2018 Grand Final songs Feel free to change pronouns !

“I’m not your toy.”

“What you see is what you get.”

“Don’t make me tear my heart out.”

“I tried my best and I came so far but you will never know cause you let me walk this road alone.”

“The world gets back up with the smile of a child.” / “Il mondo si rialza col sorriso di un bambino.”

“I know it hurts so bad but it feels so good.”

“It feels like I’m stuck here in time while I’ve been trying to forget you.”

“It is my guide, an immensity that never leaves me.” / “É mia guida nell’immensitá che non mi lascia mai.”

“Face the fear and hold your head up high.”

“Will you stay or walk away?”

“This yearning that burns knows no bounds or distances.” / “Ky mall që të djeg nuk njeh kufi as largësi.”

“I’m not afraid to grow old if I have your hand to hold.”

“I’ll live a hundred thousand years.” / “Je vivrai cent mille ans.”

“I love beyond the bones.”

“You know you got a talent - whatever it may be.”

“Why have you been coming home so late in the evening?”

“Your hope calls you a liar.”

“That rebel fighting inside of you has been there all along.”

“I wake up with a smile because you exist.” / “S osmehom se budim zato što postojiš ti.”

“Don’t you think it’s just a waste of time when we’re always fighting over material trivial things?”

“Now it’s time to give me back what you took away from me.” / “Most már ideje visszakapnom amiket elvettél.”

“Don’t believe in everything that’s offered to you.” / “Ne verjemi v vse, kar ponujeno ti je.”

“I know that in you I can find the voice that can cover me when the weather turns bad.” / “Sé que en ti puedo encontrar esa voz que me abriga si el tiempo va mal.”

“Do you believe in the things we dreamt we’d discover?”

“Tonight I’m making friends with all the creatures that are hiding there under my bed.”

“I’ve already promised that one day I’ll change or try to be better.” / “Eu já prometi que un dia mudo ou tento, ser maior.”

[hellyeahrpmemes]

※ MORE SHIT I HEARD AT COLLEGE ※

a thrilling saga of shit i’ve heard at college, continued; these are all from my second semester of sophomore year. feel free to change names/pronouns/etc.! more ‘shit i heard/said’ starters!

“Please clap for me.”

“I’m gonna be playing Spanish Sims.”

“Why do they need my middle fucking initial?”

“Just support me as a friend!”

“I don’t care if you think I’m being whiny as fuck, because I probably am, but still.”

“Scandal: professors are people.”

“We’re fucking men here, we have full-sized Rice Krispy Treats.”

“I ate a lot of yogurt, I had great digestive health.”

“There’s a shoe in the kitchen…?”

“I don’t really eat meat, but I’d fuck with some Chick-Fil-A.”

“I could write a whole thesis on how men ain’t shit.”

“I actually started an illegal gambling ring, once.”

“You called me a raging bitch yesterday, so…”

“I’m so lazy, I don’t want to do anything – ooh! fidget spinner!”

“What the fuck do I look like, Cracker Barrel?”

“Fix my flatbread motherfucking pizzas!”

“Did I tell you the bread story?”

“These fancy rats don’t like crust on their bread.”

“I said that’s not gonna happen again, and it happened two more times.”

“He’s seducing this nice lady.”

“My sheets are still pink. Will anyone know why? The answer is no.”

“Why would you lick a Bible?”

“If it makes you feel better, I won’t kill you and bring you back to life.”

“I don’t cuddle my box of tampons on the beach with my white dress and my white bikini.”

“Now I know where to hide my dead body.”

“I was a bigger fan than you, sorry to break it to you, suck my ass.”

“His hair looks like french fries.”

“Not my salad bar.”

“Wow, that’s not very delicious, it tastes like sand.”

“I have simultaneously the best and worst idea ever.”

“This man’s dick just won the Super Bowl.”

“Wait, don’t laugh yet.”

“Groutfits are the future of this generation, don’t at me.”

“It smells like poots in here.”

“I just had this horrifying vision of dropping my Chipotle.”

“I didn’t want lettuce, I wanted guacamole…! I mixed them up in my head… now I’m pissed.”

“I’ve just been here for a really long time.”

“You think I want his hand up my butt right now?”

“Queso doesn’t belong, even though queso always belongs.”

“I thought I got a 100 but I got a 33.”

“I wonder if the ice is slippery.”

“The only ticket I’ve ever gotten was from a bicycle cop.”

“Muffin men stay there for muffin conventions.”

“I just paid a stranger $10 to paint my tits, happy Mardi Gras.”

“I cut my finger on a chainsaw, but it’s fine.”

“You’re so optimistic, and I’m, like, dying.”

“Get off of that zebra, young woman.”

“My parents didn’t let me watch the Teletubbies because they thought I’d be brainwashed.”

“Did you just say swag? You just imploded your whole argument.”

“He’s perfect in every way, he loves the Lord, except the Lord is Satan.”

“I have a problem with authority.”

“I don’t make these rules. Nuns make these rules.”

“The only things in that town were a movie theater and a pecan store, and we’d already been to the pecan store.”

“Be right back, I have to go fight a war. Should only take a few hours, though.”

“If you put purple on anything smelly, it’s lavender.”

“I can’t see, you can’t hear, and what can’t Jess do…? Math.”

“Are you shitting me? They called at 10 o’clock to say the dog has diarrhea?”

“I’m gonna punch a child.”

“I’m stressed, I’m stressed, I’m so fucking stressed (hell yeah).”

“Who the fuck is in Mountain Time? Utah? Dakota, North and South?”

“She’s a certified side hoe.”

“There’s no crying in the club. Fortunately for me, this is not the club.”

“I asked the void to rate me on a scale of one to ten.”

“Oh, no… don’t defile the fruit…”

“Did you just call a hospital a medical salon?”

“That sad moment when you’re bleeding to death and you can’t eat peanut butter crackers.”

“They called me the flea, I ran so fast.”

“Today, instead of carrying a plastic fork with my Lysol, it’s a napkin. We’ve changed secondary weapons.”

“I injured myself snapping too violently.”

“Son of a fuck cracker.”

“Don’t be alarmed, but has anyone seen my gun?”

“My whole life, I’ve always thought that those orange strips in salad was cheese. Turns out, it’s been carrots this whole time.”

“Jesus is one, he’s two.”

“Science is dead now. No more science.”

“I mean, you could also, theoretically, have sex in the woods.”

“I just wanna make movies and cry.”

“Hi, I’m depressed, but my name is David.”

“I thought there was one… turns out that there’s five.”

“My name is Kathy, I’m a pissed off soccer mom, why is my child not starting? I paid all this money.”

“We could all bring cardboard cutouts of ourselves, and it wouldn’t be the same.”

“I’m five. Six on a good day.”

“I can’t catch a break – everything just breaks.”

“I strive to be the best-smelling person people know.”

“I did a push-up yesterday.”

“Not to be dramatic, but I’d rather die than walk across campus.”

“Y’all look like scary-ass nuns.”

“Wait, that’s not in Hamlet.”

“Our lord and savior is Nicolas Cage, fuckers. Get it right.”

“It’s always tracksuit weather.”

“I owe you either an Icee or my firstborn, whichever you’d prefer.”

“Okay, Black Panther characters, let’s see. We’ve got T’Challa. We’ve got… bad T’Challa.”

“Without sororities, the glitter industry would’ve been dead years ago.”

“Honeymoon is just a nicer way to say fuckfest.”

“Oh my god, someone wants my drugs.”

“I was driving here to take this exam, and a car accident happened right in front of me and almost hit me, and I almost wanted it to hit me so I didn’t have to take this exam.”

“He has the emotional range of a teaspoon.”

[thanatophobes-blog]

woolfcried (carina):

         ‘i appreciate the FAITH, but i think i can manage that much.’

“You’d think that, wouldn’t you? These people would bite your head off at a second’s notice. I wouldn’t let my guard down.”

[thanatophobes-blog]

bluclightning:

Chloe laughs a bit. “They just wrote it and said ‘close enough’.”  She shrugs a bit. “Um, an asshole. Clearly. A literate asshole, but still, an asshole nonetheless.” She begins to hum a song absentmindedly as she began looking around, walking ahead, attaching her flashlight to her jacket. A sudden breeze can be felt and she looks up. She shrugs and continues to walk.

“‘Close enough.’ Words of wisdom.” He nodded. “Hm, yeah, I could see some douchebag running in here just to do some stupid semi-Shakespearean graffiti then running out. There’s better things to do in here than that.” Rafe looked around at the walls, nothing seemed out of place, it looked normal. But, something had to be here, right? “Find anything yet?”

[hyliaschampion-blog]

&&. I WAS IN A CONFIDENTIAL MUSICAL PRODUCTION (where no one seeing the musical knows what the musical is until the musical actually starts) OF THE PISS MUSICAL (Urinetown) AND IT WENT WELL!! more free time now….

[delzinrowe]

[insp]

[thanatophobes-blog]

bluclightning:

“Agreed. Let’s blow this popsicle stand.” Chloe tucks her handgun away and adjusts her beanie, beginning to walk further into the cave. She stumbles upon some graffiti and laughs. “’You shall not pass’. Pfft… ‘Heed my warning, for you too, shall perish with your greed’. Okay, Shakespeare, what are you, my mother? God, whoever recently wrote this deserves a punch straight to the dick.”

Rafe ran his hand back through his hair in an attempt to fix it up, it worked, for the better part of things. He chuckled at her comments. “Jesus, sounds like someone was reading too much Lord of The Rings. But, I think Shakespeare would be more along the lines of, ‘thou shalt not passeth’. They were close.” A quick laugh at his own joke. “Why even come in here just to cover the place with graffiti anyway? Makes no sense.”

[thanatophobes-blog]

bluclightning:

     Fuck! She definitely wasn’t prepared for that reaction out of Rafe. Now she was gonna have to try and come up with a funny joke. She hums and thinks for a moment then lights up. “According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means, to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”

It was funny, it did get a quick ‘pft’ noise out of him, maybe a small chuckle after he rethought the joke in his head, but it wasn’t as funny as he had hoped it was going to be. “Tsk, I expected more from you honestly. Something... gut-wrenchingly funny. Guess not. I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you one more try to make me laugh. And I mean laugh, full on.”

[thanatophobes-blog]

bluclightning:

Chloe smiles, clapping her hands. “Hella yes! You kicked the shit outta that guy! That was cool! Now, doorstep here won’t be in our way.”

“See? Someone here knows talent when they see it. Thank you.” Rafe chuckled. “Come on, better to keep moving than to deal with more people like ‘doorstep’.”

[thanatophobes-blog]

bluclightning:

“Douche. The answer is douche.” Chloe responds. “The joke wasn’t even meant for you, actually… I… I know too many rich assholes.” The joke was supposed to be for Nathan Prescott, resident rich asshole in Arcadia Bay, but she’d have to settle for Rafe. Way to go, Price.

“Wow, thanks. Not like I haven’t heard that one before.” Sarcasm dripped from his voice. At this point, jokes like that were somewhat commonplace. “Actually... Hm, you know what? Try again, tell me a new one. Really. Impress me, I’d love to see you try.” Rafe tapped a finger against his lips. “Go on.”

[thanatophobes-blog]

“I want some goddamn acknowledgement!”

[thanatophobes-blog]

bluclightning:

“What rhymes with ‘woosh’ and describes you as a human being?”

@thanatophobes (Rafe)

“You know, I don’t want to ask but I expect you’ll tell me anyway.” He sighed. “What is it?”

[thanatophobes-blog]

@woolfcried | Canon Quotes!

“Well, remember where we are. This crowd didn’t get rich by playing fair.”

[thanatophobes-blog]

@princessoffell | Canon Quotes!

"I'm looking for something fun to do. How do you like to spend your free time?"