Spooky Scary Government

Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

[soulsingerinasessionband]

my main goal

[soulsingerinasessionband]

is to blow up

[soulsingerinasessionband]

and then act like i don’t know nobody

[soulsingerinasessionband]

[getweirder]

someone who’s chaotic good (me) should never be allowed to run a bakery by themself (my job)

[sexy-androgynous-satan]

Why

[getweirder]

well I work for a bakery inside a grocery store and we end up composting a Lot of stuff because it’s a commercial chain and they don’t care because capitalism

so every night an hour before closing, I look thru all the stuff to see what expires the next day, and I make it “free samples”

then I hang around by the cookie table and the donut case and whenever kids come around talking to their friends abt “if they don’t buy this, they can afford that,” “do we have enough money to buy donuts?” etc, I chime in and I’m like….

hey…free samples over there take as many as u want…..take the whole thing….just eat them before u leave the store…..go…run…eat pastries….be free

[kelssiel]

you are exactly the kind of person i wanna see running a bakery

[getweirder]

someone who’s chaotic good (me) should never be allowed to run a bakery by themself (my job)

[sexy-androgynous-satan]

Why

[getweirder]

well I work for a bakery inside a grocery store and we end up composting a Lot of stuff because it’s a commercial chain and they don’t care because capitalism

so every night an hour before closing, I look thru all the stuff to see what expires the next day, and I make it “free samples”

then I hang around by the cookie table and the donut case and whenever kids come around talking to their friends abt “if they don’t buy this, they can afford that,” “do we have enough money to buy donuts?” etc, I chime in and I’m like….

hey…free samples over there take as many as u want…..take the whole thing….just eat them before u leave the store…..go…run…eat pastries….be free

[kelssiel]

you are exactly the kind of person i wanna see running a bakery

[c-bassmeow]

I need more empanadas and less anxiety 

[jadenvargen]

i like elephant seals IN THEORY cos they look so goofy but every time i watch any documentary about them all they do is fuck and fight extremely graphically and disgustingly to the death so i’m deeply afraid of them

[smugbots-and-such]

I just googled “why do elephant seals fight” and got a video of one bashing himself in slow, rhythmic, dead-eyed crashes against a truck only slightly larger than itself while said owner just stood to the side, a defeated, perplexed look on his face

[smugbots-and-such]

[adainesjacket]

@lottiesnotebook GALON

[nozominomi-deactivated20171121]

[fauxfable]

where can i buy this hoodie???

[cesaray]

[showerthoughtsofficial]

Characters in first-person games never blink.

[crowexe]

they blink when you blink stupid

[eternalgirlscout]

me: *happens to stand between multiple light sources and casts two shadows because that’s how shadows work*

my brain, still to this day, every single time:

[urbanism]

!!!!!!!!!!

[fukkce]

[zamzamafterzina]

Now that i think about it, if avengers and the mcu took place in the 90s who would eddie murphy play? like there is no way he’d play a supporting character esp to a white guy in the 90s….hmmm he’d probably audition and try hard for t’challa, but they’d probably give him blue marvel…but that character didn’t exist in the 90s…and there is no way he’d play Hiemdall lmao.

[threesideddream]

I literally just passed this when I was on imgur

[bbcwhereareyou]

I’m dumbfounded by how on point this is?

[crossed-quills]

This is so spot on I cant even

[trash-inu]

wowwwww…I would have loved to see that movie in my childhood!!!

[thebuttkingpost-deactivated2021]

Oh my GOD I need all of this

[trilllizard666]

keanu reeves as a magic guy is giving me Constantine movie flashbacks

[babyanimalgifs]

More dog snaps

(#1 @marupgoma_c)

[takashi0]

@darkvioletcloud

[unfortunately-awake]

[thestereotypebuster]

Converse are neither waterproof, nor warm, nor comfortable but dammit if they don’t look good

[thestereotypebuster]

I love my 1920s factory worker shoes

[thestereotypebuster]

My chiropractor says the lack of arch support is ruining my knees

[doctorbobkelso]

[acitywithoutwalls]

the only true ally

[usbdongle-deactivated20200531]

please be gentle to your pets, they trust you so much and believe that whatever youre doing for them is the best thing. they trust you to be kind and benevolent. small critter or otherwise, you have the trust of this animal, and i implore you to be gentle and decent. don’t betray that trust

[dumouwin]

fucking,,,, just found out jack spent like 30 mins in walmart smelling shampoos bc i asked him to grab me some when he went but forgot to tell him what brand,,, like who the fuck,,,, why is he the way that he is,,,, he fucking got the right brand too that’s the worst part like IT WORKED

[dumouwin]

akshsjaka I HATE HIM