Sweetheart, I was so afraid to love again... because I know I'm only someone who only disappoints. For the longest time now, one of my biggest goals in life has been to actually make someone happy, for once, and never disappoint them. Despite my thinking it was impossible, I still hope, and wished, and set that goal. I knew it was something that'd keep me going. Keep me alive. I've always been told how useless, and powerless my very existence had come to be, and I told myself that more than anything.
Love was never an option, not for me. I can't even make anyone happy. Why would I be so full of myself as to openly search for such things as love? No one could love someone like me. Such things I deemed impossible. When you first asked me out, I knew I'd always treat you right, that I'd wanna be with you every night. I was falling, and I had no idea. Everything in the world I'd come to know was tossed, and turned, and flipped upside down. I felt the need to simply frown. How could I be so selfish as to unconsciously think even for a moment, someone could love me? No. Lies. Never... Sweetheart, you turned my never, into forever. What can I say? You love me, and that was all it would've taken for me to fall. Fall hard. Yet there was so much more than that. Your smile, your laugh. the way you talk, and walk. Everything about you screamed 'perfection' and I wanted to give you nothing but my affection, and ever lasting attention. I felt you deserved at least that, even if I could give you nothing more. You're someone who can't hurt, and harm. That's such a precious thing, love. A dying art. Do you know how many people actually think the way you do, and somehow see enough good in everyone to treat them all as though they're precious to you? Now matter how much they hurt ya' too?
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard, and seen. I love you for you, and no one can intervene. Especially not you, sweetheart. Every time you're with me, I never want to part. I'm explaining everything here and now, but such a thing as love can never be explained. I don't need any reason to love you, but I have my own, too. You think I'll leave, and that makes me unable to breathe. You've become irreplaceable. You may think I don't really need you, but you can't seem to get it through that stubborn head of yours that you are all I've ever wanted, and all I'll ever need. Now why would I leave? I'm not around just to make you feel better. If that'd been whats going on, I would've never even bothered to get to know you at all.
I love you! Love you dearly. Yet you questioned such things, and say you're the biggest mistake I'll ever make. That I should go, before I'm ruined, by you. Well fucking hell, I must be dreaming. I was ruined long ago, love, no need to worry. I make my own mistakes, and you're not one of them. Never will be. If you think I'll be "ruined" so be it, let me be ruined. I'd rather be ruined, and still able to call you mine than ruined by the love I'd of lost if I ever cared about whether or not I'm fine... Sweetheart, I'd go to the moon and back for you. I always want to be wherever it is you are. I will never, ever, let you go. I love you, and always will... no matter whether or not you love me, too.