dommy

id have to say, world peace

[thatguynameddom]

10.6.25

lol.. even longer since the last time.

ive felt the need to come here and type everything out for a few weeks now..

things in life were going so well.. i KILLED it while my manager was on maternity leave and shined so bright in front of the *right* people. i felt so great for three months (all of summer) and was on such a high.. until a few weeks ago when i found out my brand might get sold to a different company.. come to find out - heres a backstory.. i had an offer at a place.. signed the offer letter and then ONE DAY AFTER my current employer messaged me and matched the other company i had already signed with.. so i UN-signed my offer letter with the first company and then went with my current company.

…the irony of it all is that.. the company that i “un-signed” the offer letter to.. is the company who is buying my brand and putting me in the nervous spiral of worry with my job security.

i love my current job.

my coworkers are amazing.

my manager is so sweet and is extremely knowledgeable.

my vp is amazing.

so much queer representation at work.

and i dont want to get a new employer..

this is me putting it into the universe now, yes tumblr, you are the universe.. but please, if my brand gets bought.. please help me just get restructered into a different position within the same company. it makes me sick to my stomach thinking it might have to change so suddenly.

~

on other news jaelynn just came to visit me last weekend and my heart was so happy to finally have one of my very best friends come visit me and see my new world here in nyc. and jae out of all people? like shes the silliest friend i have, always making me giggle and such a wonderful friend. im so grateful for her. 

ashley comes to visit THIS WEEKEND and itll be her first time here, i cant wait for her to also see everything.. it makes me so happy because ashley and jaelynn are true family to me.. so its like bringing a piece of home here to nyc even for a little bit.

and then jade anne comes to visit me in november!! im actually stunned that so many people are coming in such a short time frame. jade and i havent had one-on-one time since? i was 20? almost a decade? i cant wait to show her a fun little weekend getaway, just us, its going to be great.

~

ive also been in such a creative rut.

ive been so anxious lately that im getting so overwhelmed with life, its exhausting to keep up with every aspec of life. quite often i feel like im neglecting two or three sectors of my life because im trying to keep up the other seven of them. i want to start getting back into zoning in on my creative side.. whether thats sewing.. or interior decorating.. or drag.. or outfit videos.. i need to do something to start fully feeling like dommy again.

~

another major thing i want to voice outloud so that i can type it out and keep myself accountable for the next time i come here to post.. but ive been really isolating myself from my friends the past few months.

im not even sure what is it, because if they were here in person i would be so happy and talk their ear(s) off and kiki away.. but when it comes to texting ive been so bad. im not checking in on friends even when i know i need to. ive been so frazzled and focused on myself and i even feel like leo and i’s relationship has changed a little bit and that breaks my heart so much.

actually - pause - sorry that was importante, i just rubbed leos face and told him “i love you tinky”

im going to try doing better.

i need to.

i need to stop being such a bitch at times.

i need to start making more time for my friends.

i need to be more considerate.

im clocking myself.

im happy my friend (le) is keeping me in check with things like this and letting me know when ive dropped the ball.

i want to make a pact to myself that i will start sticking to plans and reaching out to make plans with friends.. all of them.. kel, phoebe, gigi, le, carter, viktor, ambrosio, julian, and more to name! i need to start showing them that i care and want to be there for them.

~

also is literally anyone out there? who sees this? i hope no one? i hope someone? i hope multiple people? who knows.. who cares at the end of the day.

i need therapy.

you need therapy.

WE ALL NEED THERAPY.

~

oh yikes.. also.. this is news. BIG news.

but back in june i came to the realization that i am over aaron. i messaged him and told him.. and not to be rude or rub it in his face by any means.. but i meant it in a way of “we can finally be just friends and i can come visit you and you me / vise versa” but it went into a conversation of him (aaron) confessing that hes been leading a really nice guy on since the FIRST month he moved to chicago.. and this aligned with with aaron got super distant and was treating me like absolute shit. and it solidified my feelings towards it all.. i was over him going into the conversation and then to know that hes still out here knowingly playing with peoples hearts/emotions.. this boy isnt the boy i once loved. re-read that again. he isnt him anymore.. and he isnt changing back to him ever again. and im okay with that. i cherish the moments i had with him. its a love i will never forget.. ever.

but it feels like the biggest weight off my shoulders to not think of him.. i have always wanted (and still do for any good takers out there) to find a husband and build a beautiful healthy relationship an build a family and life together.. and i always was like “well, of course itll be with aaron” hes the only person ive seen in that place.. and now theres a white space.. with a huge grey question mark on it. and i havent felt that in so long?

like.. dom.. the one who begged for aaron back AFTER being the one who dumped him.. is now over him again? its such a relief to let go of those feelings.

~

bon iver just came on and i realized i need to stop talking about my ex..

~

adreonna is in college and is thriving after her breakup and is doing college the right away. i love her so damn much and am so proud of her. i honestly cant wait to see her start to flourish and i hope she does great on her first semester. go HAWKS :-)

jazzy recovered great and is still planning to play sports, how could she not? shes literally the mvp of everything in life.. shes growing up to be such a beautiful young girl. oh my goodness and dronna and jaz came to visit me in nyc this july and it was such a great time. we got to have some amazing sibling time. i hope things get better for jazzy especially with her feeling isolated from her pos dad lately.

peypey is now playing the french horn and is growing up so fast.. a little feisty but i need to remember to check myself with him because he is and always has gone through so much with his dad. i hope he starts to become more social and expressive with how he is feeling.

momma dom has been going through this entire year and we have had our ups and downs but i do think and hope that she is on a upward trajectory. i always want better for my mom. i wish she would get into therapy and stop drinking so much. i wish i could be there for more support, in person.

i love all of my siblings and my mom, so damn much. i hope they always realize that i am in nyc and living my life so far away from them to be an example that they can also get out of iowa and follow their dreams no matter their circumstances.

~

i must go walk leo now, its getting late and im in the office tomorrow. im going to go in dressed all nice and cute, i got a massage and a haircut this weekend, i went on a few runs, worked out.. the whole nine yards. my mind needed a mentally relaxing weekend.

this is me signing off

xoxo

dommy

[thatguynameddom]

5.10.25

its been quite a while since ive been on here..

so much has happened to me, to my family.. so right now in this moment i want to wish for my mom to find a new job, for my sister to get through her breakup, my other sister to recover well from her injury, and for my little brother to always stay safe.

xoxo

dom

[tayloreverett]

[thatguynameddom]

2.13.25

its begun, the new year is here and im happy to start 2025 with getting a new job and getting out of such a shitty place i was in. being discriminated at a workplace was a complete spiral for my mental health.. but now! now miss thing i started a new job (got a raise), my new manager is amazing, the workplace is filled with gays and it makes me feel so at ease and that i can just be myself.

im also traveling next month to seattle for work and im super excited! ive started a career.. and i genuinely cant wait to see where it takes me.

im excited to get back to myself.

getting back to working out, eating healthier, smiling more, focusing on making a better future for myself. at this point i feel like i owe it to myself.. this time to learn who dominick is again. to transition into the next version of dominick, a more evolved version.

im in my room and im staring at this new moon lamp my mom got me.. and im fucking twenty eight years old and its twenty twenty-five.. gurl. i am so grateful for my siblings, my mother, my sweet leo, and all of my wonderful friends.

i know every year has its ups and downs.. but i really hope this year is good to me..

..and i know it will be. i just also need to stick to my goals and get back into focusing soley on dommy (and leo).

this may all sound out of order but its what im thinking of. ok?

until next time..

xoxoxo

dommy

[thatguynameddom]

11.25.24

today is a day i wish i had a journal

————— wow girl.. it is literally 2.13.25 and i just reopened tumblr and this draft popped up. i wonder what i want i want to journal about..

[pastart]

Niv Shank (2020)

[boyzandflowers]

/KONSTANTIN

[thatguynameddom]

10.30.24

pt two.

okay again.. its been four months since ive come back to write anything.. i almost feel like ive avoided it or i thought it was silly for a moment. but its so nice to get my thoughts out here. it always feels like im on stage and telling millions of people my entire story.. giving all the emotion, expression, and hand gestures.. and every one has headphones and sunglasses on. its amazing.

so, im here again to catch you up on how im feeling. i thought i was being dumb when i talked about how much i missed my ex. but its so true. i still cant go a few hours without thinking about him.

- listen, i watched the movie “How To Be Single” and theres a moment where the main girl.. she runs into her ex.. who she dumped.. but wanted him back.. but he had another girlfriend and didnt want her back.. she runs into him and his family.. the mom hugs her and says “youre better than her”.. implying shes better than the new girl. and that its truly how i feel like its going to be for me. i dont think anyone can live up to him -

i was scrolling through photos today to post some pictures for my sisters birthday post and saw so many memories of him.. it shattered me. made me teary eyed within seconds.

maybe this is my karma? every single boy (and girls lol) in my life has always been so obsessed with me and wanted me back. now the tables have changed and i dont know what to do about it.

its not that i see this as a game by any means.. i see it as i am deeply still in love with someone and my heart is crying out for his constantly.

i did stop talking to him. i also stopped talking to my last ex, too.

im genuinely to grown to be treating some people that i love and care for wrong. i need to own my mistakes and lay in the bed ive made.

i feel shitty yet optimistic everyday. i feel crappy for how i treated aaron and how hurt i am in myself that i didnt stick around for him when he was at a low point in his life. i shouldve stuck around. i shouldve been there and stayed like a good partner would. im optimistic because im really dissecting how i used to act and be and how i need to change, in hopes of me being ready for a relationship when the time comes.

for now, theres still only one boy on my mind. and until next time..

by the way, this is so funny to me.. my twenty eight year old self, still writing posts on tumblr. life is silly, but i cherish this page like a diary.

A + D = <3

xoxo

dom

[thatguynameddom]

10.30.24

wow.. its been quite a while.

first and foremost it is my little sisters 18th birthday and i want to send her the happiest birthday wishes!!

this deserves it own post.

if you ever somehow read this, bubba loves you dronna.

xoxo

[thatguynameddom]

6.17.24

i am honestly so frickin’ funny and dramatic.. but i really feel everything im saying and typing in these moments.

if you cant read yourself, how and the hell are you going to read somebody else

can i get a gaymen?

<3

xoxo

dom

[thatguynameddom]

6.17.24

its weird, i was having a talk with one of bestest friends ever (illia) and he was saying how he doesnt want to meet his next boyfriend at a bar.. like its just not the place. he said that he is going to focus on himself and the right person will come at the right time and the right place.. and that he wants to do things hes interested in and go to new places that make him happy and that person might also be there.. and into those places and such.. you get the jist!!!

but, it had me thinking, ive been on the prowl lately, i really do want a boyfriend, i want someone to share my life with and get to know eachother on a deep level, and i want someone who is just as interested in me as i am them.

…so i thought.

i mean look at me? im still constantly thinking of my ex’s (both good and bad) - and of course theres a main one - but its because i cherish a deep connection with the people i decide to date. i cherish those memories. i cherish them because theyve all been my best friends and helped me get through so much.. but here i am, still mourning the love of my ex, A. im not ready to date anyone.

i had a realization that.. and not just a light bulb in my head, but a slap in my frickin’ face.. i need time to heal. i need to focus on myself. on my health. on leo. on my financial status. on elevating my life here in nyc. indulging myself in new hobbies. to get into therapy. focusing on my friendships. i need it. i knew i needed it. but now.. i want it.

i want to find out who dominick is again. what is this next chapter going to be like? who will i be in it? not saying im going to be able to forecast anything but.. i want to be able to guide myself in the best possible way.

i need this time alone. i want this time alone. i need this time to heal. i want this time to heal.

xoxo

dom

11:37pm

[thatguynameddom]

5.21

a lot has happened in the past few weeks..

i have honestly had such an adjustment to my emotions and how low i was feeling. a few weeks ago, my friends and i were talking and one of them said “why are you trying so hard for his love?” and something in me.. just.. clicked.

i have seen this boy beg for me back, on his KNEES, begging for me to take him back.

and now.. fastforward, here i am, begging for him to love me back in a way that he doesnt love me any more. why was i trying so hard for someone that clearly has changed their mind completely on me? why was i trying so hard to explain to him how much i love him? shouldnt he know this? and i shouldnt have to beg for that love.. if i do, then the love is not there any longer.

ever since this conversation with my friends i really havent been sad about things not working out again. im learning to let go and move on. im not forgetting about it by any means, at least not for now. but i am understanding that one person should never have to beg someone to love them. if someone wants to be with you, youll know it, youll feel it, and itll feel so correct. the sad part is.. i felt that love from him for over four and a half years, so i can tell its gone.

and for now, i want to focus on myself.. giving myself time to process and fully move on before i actually move on, rather than lying to myself and others saying that everything is okay.

im sure my friends are so tired of hearing me talk about this sitiuation.

this post is definitely more of a random spurt of thoughts. but wow. i had been asking him for months to take me back, trying to make things work, offered to relocate myself from a life i just started in nyc.. and for what?

its hard to determine how long to hold on for. how much love can you try and hold onto before you realize your hands are empty? who has the answer for this? tell me world, how long is too long? why do people let go of true deep love? will he come back around when im moved on? will he regret not taking me back?

im sure youve heard my heart crying out for love and help.. now i feel like my heart is just whispering.. for guidance.

until the next time..

xoxo dom

[thatguynameddom]

4.28.24

i move to my second apartment in nyc on wednesday and im shocked.. that means itll be the start of my second year.

what a year its BEEN. the ups and downs.. the connections both good and some bad.. the phases of friend groups.. friends coming to visit.. my mom and siblings coming to visit.. its all amazing to look back on.

its been an emotional year for me. a lot of learning about myself and becoming more authentically dominick than ever before.

brooklyn has treated me so well so far.. and ive read somewhere that “your first year in a new state is the roughest/toughest and then your second year is when you really get grounded”.. so, with reading that, i really hope that everything comes together and gets even better.

its just.. crazy to think ive already been here a year.

wow.

[mirandabarnes]

[anancientheart]

i believe you can always get back to yourself. you can always soften into being again. no matter how long you might be stuck in a pattern of unhappiness, of being jaded, of feeling guarded from the world in some way. there is always a path back. give yourself a chance to find it.

[ripe]

☁️ cloud timelapse / 04.27.20.

[thatguynameddom]

4.24.24

hi..

you know? i talk about how i am sad all the time.. but i genuinely am so grateful for so many things in my life.

i am grateful for…

- my loving and supportive mother

- my healthy and happy younger siblings

- my close friends that are always supportive with me (unless they know im being stupid.. then they call me out on it)

- my wonderful leo, my sweet little devil handsome boy (my only piece of home here in nyc)

- that i live in such a wonderful vibrant chaotic queer city, the biggest city in the world.. NEW YORK CITY.

- getting the chance to work in the empire state building and the opportunity to start my career in such a cutthroat environment.

- having to be able to travel to Paris, London, Dublin!

- to have lived in Texas, Iowa, Missouri, Oregon, and New York.. i dont think i appreciate it enough, being put all over and having to start somewhere new - it sure in hell has grounded me and helped me be very adaptable and efficient in new surroundings.

- to have experienced true love in my life.. i hope that true, deep, crazy, easy, romance filled love comes to me again.

- (this one may sound very… whats the word im looking for… narcissistic.) for my looks. i really look in the mirror lately and love what i see. ive been working really hard on trying to not talk negatively to myself, to not touch my face to not have my highly sensitive skin break out, trying to keep myself eating healthy and consistently working and hydrating (as always). but i really do feel like me and my siblings are all so beautiful from our mom and its a really nice feeling to begin to really love what you see in the mirror.

- for my ability to push forward.. ive hit (what i thought was) rock bottom a few times in the last two/three years. ive been very in touch with my emotions and acknowledging when its good for me to take a mental health day. life is fucking tough.. and i push through.. and come out stronger and wiser each and every time.

- for the drive and determination i have to make my life better. i am the first person in my family to graduate from a university, the first to accept a salary job at such a young age, the first to up root and move my life across the country to follow my dreams. i have goals and i want to make my mom and siblings proud.. but most importantly i want to be there for myself and teach myself that i can do it. i can do anything i put my mind to.

this was a little cliche, but who the fuck is reading this besides me.. (and maybe jaelynn hehe if youre reading this i love you bestie… and i read your blogs too, its our secret).

again, in the twenty-seven years ive been on this darn planet.. ive learned that i.. know nothing. i have so much to learn. i have so many ways of thinking ahead of me. i have learned to be grateful for what i have and to tell my loved ones that i love them deeply, always.

mom, alexus, adreonna, jazilyn, peytin, leo.. i love you all so so so so very much.