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@taylorswift IS THE ALBUM OR NEXT SINGLE CALLED LOVER ?!?
The Raging War of House VS Kids
The Raging War of House VS Kids
Anyone who knows me well, like REALLY knows me, knows that these days… I am not great at keeping up on housework. I thought quitting my job and staying home with the kids would give me ample time to get better, but it has been seven months and I am still struggling just as much as when I had a full-time job.
This is an area I am constantly struggling with. Not just struggling with physically…
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Looking For Peace
I’m having one of those nights where my emotions, insecurities, stresses, and anxieties feel as if they are suffocating me. I’m trying to come up for air but am struggling to figure out how.
Do you ever think about a challenge you’ve accepted or a journey you’ve chosen and just think… wow. I am not cut out for this. I don’t know what I was thinking, but clearly I just wasn’t. I do not have what…
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To The Girl Who Feels Stuck
To The Girl Who Feels Stuck
First of all, I need you to know… that is a lie. You are not stuck. There could be any number of reasons you feel stuck. You are in love. You couldn’t imagine life without him. You are too afraid to start over. There is no way you could find someone else, and maybe he has made sure you know that too. The list goes on and on.
But it is a lie.
Yes you may be in love, but a narcissistic abuser is…
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Motherhood Isn’t Pretty
I took an unplanned break from posting any blogs. Life has been a bit of a whirlwind with things going on, which I am sure will be written about at some point. So to get back into it, I have a short and sweet post ;)
Motherhood isn’t always pretty. There are a lot of pretty, and nice things about it. But it isn’t always so. For example, I just got home from a camping trip, and the baby and I are sick. This is what gets posted to social media:
But in reality, it looks more like this:
The house is a mess. My hair… it’s bad. I haven’t brushed my teeth. My whole body hurts from being sick and taking care of a…
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Believing a Lie
Believing a Lie - Short post, but something that has been on my heart and mind lately.
Have you ever struggled and struggled and struggled with something that you felt that maybe you shouldn’t be struggling with? Like, a lie for instance? You have believed this thing about yourself, or your situation, or your spouse, or your kids, or your friends, or whatever else?
Do you know how to get rid of that lie?
Expose it for what it is. It is a lie, and a lie can’t live in light, because…
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To the mom who is JUST
To the mom who is JUST.... this ones for you.
To the mom who is just waking up, hours after your husband went to work.
To the mom who is just making sure the baby has a clean diaper.
To the mom who is just finally getting caught up on laundry, after so many weeks.
To the mom who is just finally getting a few things organized in the house.
To the mom who is just trying to keep the kids alive.
To the mom who is justtrying to make sure the kids…
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Homeschooling...Why? (2)
It took me a while to get this one out there. But here is Part 2 for why I have chosen to homeschool :)
In my last post I explained how I came to the decision to homeschool and my biggest reason why. If you missed that and would like to read it you can do so here.
There really are so many reasons, and I am going to talk about some of them, but not necessarily in order of most important to me.
One thing I have loved ever since I started homeschooling, is that I get so much more time with my kids.…
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As soon as someone hears I’m homeschooling, the first thing they want to know is why. After that, no matter how well thought out your reasons are, they are worried about your kids social life. I touched on that here. Now, I would like to touch on the why.
It’s really quite complex. Maybe not complex, but full. There are so many reasons as to why I homeschool. For starters, I will explain how I made the decision to start homeschooling.
At this point in my story my oldest, Charlie, is in kindergarten at a local public school. She is enjoying it for the most part, but for some reason, it is a fight every morning to get her to go to school. She cries about going so much, and it takes everything in me to get her there on time.
Homeschooling was something that had been on my mind off and on for quite some time but I never thought I would actually do it. The biggest thing pushing me into wanting to was researching the things that go on in the public school system, the things our kids are taught at such a young age. I mean, our schools are teaching things to our kids at age 5 that should be taught at home, by their parents…. and probably not at age 5. A lot of things I researched about the public school, I didn’t love. For me, a lot of the bigger issues I had really came down to my morals and values. Another piece to the puzzle, was that at the time, I worked 14 hour days Friday-Sunday. That meant that I only had time with Charlie after school Monday-Thursday. I felt like I was missing out on so much of her life.
Charlie was also going through a lot because of things her father and I had put her through, and she was really having some anger issues. Kicking and screaming, yelling at me quite a bit, even kicking holes in her door. It was quite shocking and I didn’t know what to do to help her.
Around this time is when the idea that maybe I should homeschool wouldn’t stop coming up. I have a friend that I knew in school that homeschools her son, and she had started a co-op a few years prior to this. I messaged her to ask her some questions, but really didn’t have the intent to truly do it. I was too afraid to make this decision.
One day at work, I was sitting down with one of my employees to give him his yearly review. I didn’t know him well, but we had worked around each other for a while. During his review I all the sudden hear myself ask him, “do you homeschool your kids?” I have no idea why or how that happened because I definitely was not planning on asking him that. It opened up an amazing conversation about how he does in fact homeschool his kids, and his reasonings were so lined up with what a lot of mine were for wanting to.
I felt like God was bombarding me at every angle with this. I started to really feel that it was something I needed to do, something that would be the best thing for my kids.
Not long later, my friend that started the co-op messaged me, giving me some encouraging pushes in the direction of homeschooling. I am so thankful she did. That was the night I made my decision final, that I would indeed be homeschooling.
There are so many reasons why and it seems that the list keeps growing. But my biggest reason was definitely God. I knew it was what He was leading me to do, and while I have had fears and anxieties all along the way like anyone else would, I have had a very persistent peace in the midst of it.
Another added bonus was that Charlie’s attitude changed dramatically. Her anger and major tantrums disappeared. She is still a kid, she still throws her fits and gets upset. But she doesn’t lose control in anger like she used to. This is something I often remind myself of, any time I start to doubt that I should be homeschooling.
So there you have it. The way I came to this decision, and the first reason why. Part two I will explain more reasons.
Luke 11:28 He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.”
Homeschooling…Why? [1] As soon as someone hears I'm homeschooling, the first thing they want to know is why. After that, no matter how well thought out your reasons are, they are worried about your kids social life.
Yesterday was my birthday. I am officially in the last year of my 20’s. My 20’s have been crazy. It has been a crazy 9 years. I have had 3 children, been divorced and remarried, started a career and ended a career, became a stay-at-home mom, bought my first house… those are just some of the big ones. So much has happened. So many wonderful things, so many hard things. I have made so many mistakes, I have grown so much, and I am loving the person I am becoming. I am extremely excited about this last year of being in my 20’s. I can’t wait to see what God has for me and my family, I feel like I am in the best place I have ever been in, which is such a wonderful feeling to have.
For my birthday this year all I wanted t do was go around doing random acts of kindness. This can be hard with having three small children with me, but I thought it would be fun to include them and have them be a part of this. We spent the week leading up to my birthday brainstorming and coming up with ideas we would like to do, and then the afternoon of my birthday we went into town and spent as long as the littles could handle walking around and doing these things.
It was so fun, and really fulfilling. I think my favorite part of doing this was teaching my kids to be thoughtful. So many small and big lessons can come from this. One of the things we did was put money and a note in different baggies and taped them to different vending machines. My oldest was concerned that someone would just take the money for whatever they wanted, instead of buying a treat out of the vending machine. I got to explain to her that when we do kind things for others, we don’t always get to the see benefit of it, or know how it affected them or even who it may affect, but that doesn’t change the kind thing we are doing. Even if someone sees the money there, and decides to just pocket it and not use it on the vending machine, we still put our kindness out there and blessed someone. That is all it is about. Blessing others and showing kindness to the world. My kids told me they had so much more fun than they thought they were going to have. I could tell even at 4 and 8 years old , that being kind and giving was a fulfilling thing for them as well.
Some of the things we did were:
Put treats and a thank you note in the mailbox for our mailman
Go to Dutch Brothers and pay for the person on the other side of the stand
Go to a drive through fast food restaurant, go straight to the paying window, and pay for the person behind us
Printed out encouraging one liners and some bible verses, and put them on people’s cars
Write encouraging notes on post its and put them on public bathroom mirrors
Tape baggies with money and a note in them to different vending machines and also kid rides in the mall
Put some cash in the pockets of a couple different pairs of pants at a store
Picked up litter
We had a list of more things, but doing those above with three kids who also needed some breaks mixed in to just have fun, took a couple of hours. The kids were exhausted and couldn’t handle much more, but have already asked if we can do this type of thing more often. Some of the other ideas we have on our list that we want to get done included:
Bring flowers and a thank you card to the police station/fire department
Sponsor a child financially in a different country
Leave flowers on people’s porches
Something we hadn’t planned on doing but took the opportunity when we saw it, was thank someone in the military for their service. My eight-year-old was so nervous but pushed through her fear and did it all by her self. She is a very shy girl and I was so proud of her for doing it.
There are so many things we can do each and every day as an act of kindness. It doesn’t have to cost you money. It can be as simple as holding the door open for someone, thanking someone in the military for their service, cleaning up litter. There are so many things that can be done. What are some random acts of kindness ideas you have?
Luke 6:38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
Happy Birthday to ME! Yesterday was my birthday. I am officially in the last year of my 20's. My 20's have been crazy.
Dear first-born,
Just thinking about beginning this letter to you has me choking back tears. You and I have been in this together the longest. You are the one who first made me a mom. I had always dreamed of being a mom, but I could have never imagined how much love would fill my life once I did become one.
I look back on your eight years of life, and there are so many things I want to say. You have taught me just as much, if not more than I have taught you. I remember hearing people say that about their kids before I had you, and I didn’t really get it. I thought, awhh that’s cute… but I get it now. You really have taught me so much. You have taught me that sometimes you just need to slow down a little bit in life, and enjoy the small things. Smell the roses. You have taught me that little people have very big emotions too. You have taught me to be a more organized person through your very distinct need for routine and order. You have taught me about unconditional love. Not just in the way that I will love you no matter how hard things can be as a parent, but through how you have loved me regardless of how many times I have messed up as a mom.
There are also so many things I want to apologize for. I am so sorry for so many things. Being the oldest came with the price of going through the most as far as what I put you through goes. Learning how to parent isn’t always easy, and it’s a never-ending class. One minute I think I have got things figured out, and then life throws another curve ball. Learning how to parent a very independent, strong-willed, gifted child who is starting their ‘terrible’ or ‘terrific’ twos a bit early, in the midst of going through a divorce… well no matter how hard I may have tried to protect you, you got hurt so many times through the process.
I am so sorry for the years of me trying to find my way, trying to land on my feet, trying to figure life out. I was lost and confused, and hurt and scared. I didn’t make all of the best choices, and because of that, I know I hurt you.
I am so thankful that now, I can truthfully say I am doing the best for my family. All of you. But I will continue to be sorry for the times that I was not. And I will continue to be thankful for the way you have shown me love and forgiveness through all of my mistakes and poor parenting choices.
If I am honest, when I think about you turning eight, I feel scared. You are growing up right before my eyes, and nothing I do can stop that from happening. You are becoming such a beautiful big kid, and I am so excited to watch you continue to grow into the beautiful big kid you are. But I also want to hold on to these young years a while longer. I am not ready to let them go. I am not ready for the day my hugs don’t make it all better. Or the day my silly, goofy behaviour won’t pull you out of a sad mood. I’m not ready for when getting a note from me doesn’t make your whole face light up.
You turning eight means in two years you are ten. And at ten you are such a big kid. So different from seven, or eight. And once you are ten there are just eight more years and you will be EIGHTEEN. That’s so soon! And while it feels so far away for you, it feels so soon for me, based on how fast these last eight years have flown by. I feel like just yesterday I was coming home from the hospital after having you.
I promise you this, I am going to continue to work on being the best mom I can possibly be. I want you to always be able to come to me, and tell me anything and everything, just like you do now. As hard and bittersweet as it is to watch you grow up, more than anything it is beautiful. I am determined to enjoy every day that I have with you, because before I know it, you will be an adult and I will be missing when you turned eight.
Ecclesiastes 11:9 You who are young, be happy while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth.
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Dear First Born Dear first-born, Just thinking about beginning this letter to you has me choking back tears. You and I have been in this together the longest.
A Day in the Life...
A Day in the Life…
Today… was one of THOSE days. One of those parenting days where like… you cry a lot. Just warning you, I am going to just be raw and honest here. I mean… if you haven’t figured out that I am that way, you will here and now.
The day started pretty good. Everyone woke up pretty happy. It was when we picked the middle child (Rienn) up from school that crap hit the fan.
We were driving home from my…
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What Did You Do All Day?
There are no breaks, no clocking out, no sick days, no quitting.
The kids are in bed and I sit down on the couch and think finally, I get to relax. My next thought almost instantly after this one is really? You literally did nothing all day… but ok.
I feel like I am at a war with myself. I have these days where I feel so tired and exhausted by the end of them, but once it is over I don’t know why. What did I do? Nothing. That’s how I feel anyway. I have…
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Intentional Parenting
“I will never be like my parents.” “I will not be the type of mother/father that I had.” “I will not treat my kids how my parents treated me.” “I will NOT do _____ like my parents did.”
Have you ever thought or said something like that? So many of us have. And then so many of us become parents, and all of a sudden you are responding to your kids and think… oh my goodness, I am my mother/father. W…
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Taking the Day Off
Taking the Day Off
Do you ever wake up and just not want to parent? That is me right now. I want the day off from my sweet, wonderful, needy children. I did not sleep much at all last night and I am so tired, grumpy, and just really struggling to mom well today, let alone at all.
So like the great mom that I am today, I put my youngest down for her nap, gave my older kids the iPads so they could play some games,…
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It’s 11 PM on a Friday night, and I’m up thinking about comments that have been made about homeschooling. Comments made by family, friends, acquaintances, strangers. Heck, even my HUSBAND recently made some comments.
It’s pretty typical really. As soon as someone finds out you’re homeschooling they are instantly concerned about your child’s social life. [Any other homeschoolers experience this?] Oh, I’m sorry, was my child’s life at all ever a concern to you before now? No? Okay…bye then.
Just kidding, that isn’t how those conversations actually go, that’s just in my head.
On a serious note though, what’s with this ‘homeschool-kids-are-socially-awkward stigma’? In the past homeschooling looked so much different and it really wasn’t nearly as common. But homeschooling has evolved, and changed, and become a widely accepted method of schooling (for the most part anyway).
In all reality, my kids socialize so much more than kids who sit in a classroom all day. My kids are socializing with other kids of all different ages, they aren’t restricted to interacting with kids that are the same age. This alone opens up so much dialogue and learning and growth you don’t see in the public school setting.
I do understand the idea that it is scary for kids to be taken out of a school setting, and be stuck at home with their weird parents, who want them to live in a sheltered bubble, with no life, no sports, no friends, just their house and their school books and their Xbox. But that’s not the kind of homeschooling I’m talking about. It’s almost better to call it roam-schooling. Our general studies are done at home as far as math, science, history, bible lessons. But when it comes to exploring life, being a part of nature, doing hands on experiences, doing art lessons, learning through going and doing and seeing and being… we are going and doing and seeing and being with so many other kids. In fact, we socialize so much that my kids end up begging me to keep them home for one full day. After our first year of homeschooling, our summer was basically a debrief from all of our amazing social activities during the school year. And the best part? They are socializing with people I know and trust. I’m not sending them to school and praying they make friends I can handle them being around (and there is nothing wrong with that.) But we are enjoying the process of learning together alongside some of our most wonderful friends.
So next time you hear someone is homeschooling their kid, rather than assume they are going to be socially awkward, open your mind up to the idea that the public school system isn’t the best means for socializing your children.
And also ask yourself… what is it about homeschooled kids that makes them weird in your mind? Is it because they aren’t like everyone else? Maybe they are free to be themselves rather than being forced to fit in the public school, cookie cutter, bubble. I want my kids to hold on to their individuality and uniqueness and maybe even their ‘weirdness.’ And homeschooling just may be the perfect way for that to happen. Homeschooled kids WILL be different from public school kids. How could they not be? Homeschooled kids typically aren’t grouped and separated based on their age or academic level. They aren’t forced to give up their individuality and their uniqueness in order to be compliant in a classroom to a teacher who can’t possibly meet the needs of 30 (give or take) students. They have the power to have a say in what they are learning, to an extent. They are free to question things that just don’t seem right. Kids that go to a brick and mortar school are there for 6+ hours a day for 4-5 days a week. They are going to be socially conditioned whereas a homeschooled kid won’t be. So yeah, homeschooled kids may be weird and different socially, but not necessarily anti-social. Not lacking socially. Just not fitting into the way the public school system socially molds todays kids, and that is something that excites me.
*I am in no way saying that all kids who are not homeschooled students are going to lose their individuality and have bad friends or not be able to break away from the mold and box that the public school system tends to put kids in. Or that homeschooling ensures that children won’t have to experience some of these things as well. I don’t believe homeschooling is right for everyone, and believe the public school system is the best for some people. That is a decision each and every parent gets to make on their own. I also am not saying that no homeschooled kids are lacking socially. That is completely up to how the parents choose to homeschool their kids. I would venture to say, though, that there are at least as many kids in the public schools that are ‘socially awkward’ as there are homeschooled kids that are ‘socially awkward.’ Last but not least, just because I do believe it to be pretty impossible for a public school teacher to meet the needs of each of the students in their classes, does not mean that I lack respect for teachers. Teachers have an under-appreciated, hard job, and I am so thankful for those who have chosen that career. Because of the great teachers we have out there, public schools are better than it could be. There are so many wonderful teachers who put so much effort, time, energy, love, sweat, tears, and so much more into their students and their schools. And so many kids are forever affected by and changed because of them. So thank you teachers for all of your hard work and dedication, despite the nearly impossible task you have taken on.
Proverbs 22:6 Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
Below is a slide show of some pictures from the past almost two years. I had to cut it way back and there are still over 50 pictures… because that is how much socialization my homeschooled weirdo’s are getting 😉
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What About Socialization? It's 11 PM on a Friday night, and I'm up thinking about comments that have been made about homeschooling.
Heart Connections
Parenting is one of the most, if not the most, amazing things. Nothing has brought me more joy, more excitement, more fulfillment, more purpose, more love. Also, nothing has brought me more confusion, more doubt, more anxiety, more tears, more questions, more pain if you will…. and I am just in the beginning years of this process. I hear a lot of people say that no one told them it was going to…
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