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“What do I need to do to relax?” Tarot Spread

1: “What do I need to let go of?” 2: “What would make me happy right now?” 3: “What do I need to get rid of?”

Just a simple three card spread I threw together a while back while sipping tea (okay, it might have been coffee). Thought it was appropriately café themed!

felinepurrrstory

Rosa Bonheur (1822-1899) was one of the most famous animal painters of her time, most celebrated for her artistic realist paintings. She was openly lesbian, living with her partner Nathalie Micas for over 40 years until the latter’s death, and later had a relationship with American painter Anna Elizabeth Klumpke until her own death. Rosa was known for her short hair and wearing of men’s clothes and professed to despise males and proclaimed the superiority of the female sex. Once, when a male acquaintance spotted her accompanying a mutual friend’s husband, he remarked that the scene was sure to arouse the wife’s envy. Bonheur retorted: ”If you only knew how little I care for your sex, you wouldn’t get such queer ideas into your head. The fact is, in the way of males, I like only the bulls that I paint.” A cat (and dog, horse, deer and sheep) lesbian icon! Above: Anna Klumpke, “Portrait of Rosa Bonheur,” all others by Rosa Bonheur.

alliluyevas

National Geographic on Facebook: this is a facial reconstruction of a teenage girl who lived 9000 years ago based on her remains!

half the comments: men criticizing her looks and saying she’s unattractive and mannish

alliluyevas

anyway this is the reconstruction and I always enjoy seeing the faces of prehistoric humans and how much we have in common over thousands of years despite how incredibly different our lives are. I support her and I think she looks wonderful.

silmarillion-separatism

She looks like what I’ve seen of Lexa on the 100. And fierce 💜😏

lookataleaf3000

my religion is other women. this isn’t tongue in cheek. my religion congregates around a fire, in a cramped room we booked to talk, in an idling car for way too long, in someone’s living room, in the cold because there’s more to say and hear. there is a spark of divinity i know to look for when she says something she’s never said out loud before. there is a spiritual rumble in the dehydrated voices of women who aren’t used to saying so much. when i hear another woman articulate something i’ve never been able to, that’s the voice of my god speaking to me. its ancient, forbidden knowledge, and it fills my body with my self. there’s power in our warm red blood.

problematicparrot

Finally, a sane celebrity who doesn’t bend the knee to feminist bullshit.

Source

ren-of-rationality

My god I love her.

mango-thot-deactivated20190520

I know people are gonna get salty af about this but by God she’s RIGHT.

When Brad Pitt did Fight Club, he was cutting weight for every single scene to maintain his physique at 155. I’ve you’ve ever cut weight, you know how horrible that must have been. He did it because they needed a “look”.

Changing Tatum said his Magic Mike body doesn’t last for more than five days. He starved down and dehydrated his already fit physique for a “look”.

The male soldiers on Spartacus: Blood and Sand were eating pretty much chicken and veggies for every meal to maintain a “look”.

Why is this such a big deal? Because all these characters are considered physical goals for men. These are actual unobtainable physical standards for men. Male body image issues get swept under the rug so often that some people don’t even think they exist.

meleg-vagyok

As a guy with an ED, it’s really nice to hear people talking about men’s body image issues, but I kinda feel like saying men are just as objectified as women misses the point somewhat. Objectification has to do with much more than just unrealistic standards of beauty, and while both men and women in the acting business endure horrifying things to maintain the desired “look,” women are forced to do so while also experiencing a number of other injustices. Like, for example, I’m sure both Chris Evans and Scarlet Johansen were submitted to really concerning shit for Avengers, but only Scarlet received highly invasive questions about her body, and only Scarlet’s character was used as an interchangeable romance prop, and only Scarlet did so just to have her character written off by male fans as nothing more than eye candy.

I’m really not trying to say that men don’t experience huge body issues, hell i’ve lived them for the past 3 years, but we need to address that there is already a thoroughly ingrained system of prejudice in place working against women, and that means that they experience objectification often invisible at first glance. Support men and help us, but remember pain is not a competition, as others are in need of urgent care.

(Also, p.s., to those using this to bitch about feminism, feminists are the people pushing the hardest for men with body issues, so don’t fucking use me as a prop because you don’t like women organizing. Fuck you.)

eggz1st

louder for the people in the back

pinkpurplebluexxx-deactivated20

I agree with the last two posters here. The look men are meant to attain is created by men. It is a power fantasy. The look women are expected to achieve has nothing to do with power or agency. It is to do with being sexy and appealing for the straight male gaze. Obviously men suffer under these ideals too, because it’s never good to make people feel under pressure to look a certain way, but as the above poster said, feeling pressure to do with body image is not the same as objectification. Men are very very rarely objectified because even when the actors bulk up for parts they are not objects in the scenario. The look is part of their character (which serves to make them more powerful and also will often make the entirety of the female characters fall at their feet). It is not their defining trait.

Whereas look at women in film and television. Even women playing superheroes can’t be too muscular in case (heaven forfend) they turn off too many male audience members. Women that are powerful and heroic have to be sexy as well. Unless a woman is a villain, (and even then look at how female villains are often sexualised because so many male writers are incapable of writing a woman with the same depth of a man, therefore they think her only possible power is sex appeal), female characters will usually be expected to be passably attractive to male viewers no matter what their role.

(There are definitely exceptions to this, but it’s a big enough problem to be a trend and get noticed).

I should also point out that the ideal for women in film and television seems to serve to make them seem more vulnerable and powerless, which is in direct opposition to the ideal men are supposed to attain.

Remember that seeing someone as sexually attractive does not always mean objectifying them. Yes, a lot of female viewers (and viewers of other genders too for that matter) drool over Chris Evans as Captain America. Many women find Evans as Cap very sexually attractive. But he is not an object in this scenario. He is a powerful, charismatic, heroic, three-dimensional character who also happens to be very hot. (I can’t deny it. He is a handsome man.)

Captain America (unlike many female protagonists) is not expected to be hot at every moment he is on screen. He is allowed to experience other emotions and his appearance is not the priority. It is just an occasional bonus for those that appreciate such things. It’s like when Daniel Craig’s Bond steps out of the sea in that iconic shot. Yes, that scene definitely is pleasing to a lot of female viewers, but a) there are also plenty of scenes where Craig’s Bond is shown in a non-sexualised, completely human manner, and b) watching that scene Bond still holds the power. You couldn’t watch that scene and say Bond is lacking in power or agency, could you? It is very clear he is in control.

Check out this quote I found on the subject from everydayfeminism:

“Objectified men seem to be saying, “Come hither; look what I can give you,” while objectified women seem to be saying, “This is yours for the taking.”

Back to the objectification of women in media, even women in pain, being tortured, are sexualised. To the extent that the noises they make while in agony must sound appropriately sexual and their dead bodies must be displayed in a disturbingly ‘tantalising’ and sexual way, sometimes even in lingerie for no apparent reason. Even dead, a woman on the screen must be hot. She becomes the ultimate object. In death her being arousal achieving decoration matters more than her personhood. This is the state of affairs on tv and in film right now. A woman cannot escape objectification even when suffering immense trauma. No matter what is happening in her story (and often on tv at the moment that’s not a awful lot) she is expected to be sexy.

Another point I wanted to bring up, is that in this society men do not need to be attractive to be respected or hold power. There is pressure for men to look a certain way, absolutely, but they are still seen as full human beings no matter how they look. (This is also why so many male actors will be working past middle age and the roles for women will become very scarce indeed).

This is long, so I will end my ramble now, but to conclude, in my opinion, yes, women are capable of objectifying men on an individual level. This is bad. But it is not a societal norm which impacts the day to day lives of men or their positions in society.

To summarise: women in film = body first, personhood second, men in film = personhood first, sometimes (but not always) attractive body as a juicy bonus which also serves to fulfil a male power fantasy.

It’s not even nearly the same.

akay4

Male “objectification”: Guys, you should try to look like this.

Female objectification: Guys, she needs to look like this for you.

alleiradayne

So I sow the original post with only the first to additions and was going to go on a long fucking diatribe how the objectification of men and women in media is drastically different but the root of both are the same.

And then I found the previous three additions which put words to my thoughts very well and now I don’t have to spend hours of my life–which I was fully prepared to do–on typing a novel about all of this.

clexsah

Theyre in LOVE LOVE

sloppity-bilepiper

wenchyfloozymoo

loving-women-is-rad

protect normie butches and gnc gays in general from being transed i beg of you

haemosexuality

“I identify… as tired”

heaven-ly-mind

Eternal beauty

just-shower-thoughts

The significance of muscle memory is really highlighted when you move your apps around or change your password.

pettycentral

yekkes

Women identify with monsters because they are driven to feel as though they are not human

naamahdarling

Exactly. At least monsters have sharp teeth and can defend themselves.

Also, expression of pure rage.

femmegenderbf

monsters don’t have to be feminine and pretty and can eat the men who attack them

yekkes

Not to derail either of these comments but let’s also examine their underlying sentiments a) women’s affinity with monstrousity is related to the degree of defenselessness and inability to express anger. Monsters are big and scary, monsters offer a metaphorical protection to what we see as a real threat (men) b) Monsters are free from the shackles of compulsory femininity which women can feel so alienating they identify with the inhuman. Anything which does not have to perform the constraints of “woman” is therefore freeing.