I Need To Kill Him With My Teeth

A place for everything related to that stupid green plush. And guest appearances from the other Mikes.

[thatuglyassbattatkeychain]

WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE THAT??

I’m so incredibly obsessed with that fucking stupid uglyass keychain plush Fangamer revealed that I made a blog about it.

Give me situations and memes to poorly photoshop it into. Tell me your 🫵 thoughts about the plush. I’m gonna reblog the fanart about it. When I get my hands on that Thing I will take him Places. I will bite him and kick him and throw him down the stairs. Do not be mistaken, I love this ugly ass keychain. I simply do not know how to express that other than with violence and the occasional kindness towards him.

[thatuglyassbattatkeychain]

There’s a Keychain Battat in my tea.

[thatuglyassbattatkeychain]

What if I put him a MythBusters episode so he can explode

[thatuglyassbattatkeychain]

Today he’s getting a period so bad it’ll have him googling endometriosis symptoms

​project your own problems onto to your favorites. It’s cool and fun and helps at least 1% which is more than 0%

[thatuglyassbattatkeychain]

Have you thrown him in the battery acid lake yet?

He’s either happy or in pain. I can’t tell.

[thatuglyassbattatkeychain]

Happy chapter five day!

I am slow at video games so NO SPOILERS please!! I’ll let you all know when I’ve finished playing.

[thatuglyassbattatkeychain]

This is just an ugly ass Battat keychain and I’ve decided to destroy it.

[video screenshot source- NileRed YouTube]

[thatuglyassbattatkeychain]

i need to see him being burned at the stake

Here he’s burned at the stake.

Here he’s burnt at the steak.

[thatuglyassbattatkeychain]

Yesterday was a weird day so I decided to explode his head.

[thatuglyassbattatkeychain]

The Keychain Battat Tree. Its fruits are know for molding rather quickly, often times while still on the branch!

[this is actually a Kentucky Coffee Tree]

[thatuglyassbattatkeychain]

do you think he deserves to go to Heaven, or Hell?

Hell.

Here’s my recreation of a highway billboard. I took some creative liberties.

[thankchaosforspellcheck]

Where is the Battat Keychain going?

😇HEAVEN😇

🔥HELL🔥

Voting ended onJun 25

[thatuglyassbattatkeychain]

Oh yeah we have polls! Everybody vote for where you think Keychain Battat is going!

[thatuglyassbattatkeychain]

do you think he deserves to go to Heaven, or Hell?

Hell.

Here’s my recreation of a highway billboard. I took some creative liberties.

[thatuglyassbattatkeychain]

Burying him. Like a squirrel I will forget where I buried him and after the winter he will grow into a beautiful Keychain Battat tree.

[buzzbuzz80085]

Bros a lil mad about the newest merch drop

[salmoniid]

battat labubu

[thatuglyassbattatkeychain]

I love this Battat keychain with every fibre of my body and I would sell my pancreas for it

SAME. Good thing he’s only sixteen dollars! ☝️

A pancreas probably costs more than that. Right?

[thatuglyassbattatkeychain]

this is such a beautiful blog. every time i see or even think about the keychain i have to force myself not to laugh and it makes me tear up

Awww thank you! I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog!

Here! I put Keychain Battat and Keychain Pluey on a roller coaster for you! Jongler didn’t want to ride so they’re holding their partners’ stuff off screen.

[grippins-offical]

Hate. HATE.

[thatuglyassbattatkeychain]

You don’t like roller coasters? I think they’re fun! It’s like being shaken around!

[grippins-offical]

no i hate YOU.

[thatuglyassbattatkeychain]

It’s because I’m That Ugly Ass Battat Keychain isn’t it. ☹️

[grippins-offical]

MY NAME ISN’T BATTAT!!!

[thatuglyassbattatkeychain]

It really should be. What kind of name is Grippins? Battat sounds much nicer!

[grippins-offical]

IT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE

[thatuglyassbattatkeychain]

Sure it does! ☝️If Mike is a cat then he would Bat At things. Battat!