Got My Balls Snipped At Claires

Wyrd, Scottish, he/it, 26 Icon: https://picrew.me/image_maker/1629476

[captain-price-returns]

[possessionisamyth]

If you live in the USA and you're pleading for donations to pay your rent, bills, or get food then dial 211! Please dial 211 before the last minute!

It's a toll free service with people who will help you find programs in your community to pay those bills, find food, and find housing! They will give you numbers to call so you can get help.

It is not 100% foolproof. Their job is to direct you to a program they believe will help your current issue, but it's still a step up from praying random strangers online will give you enough cash before a deadline! The added benefit of these community programs, which get funded by the local government most of the time, is if there are more people using them then they can get more money to help more people.

You're not taking resources from other people if you use your community services. Your taxes pay for them. Use them.

Dial 211 first to see if they can help, and if for some reason they can't, then make your donation posts!

https://www.211.org/

[dcmcboxers]

Hi I work for my state's 211 service. It really breaks my heart how many people only know to call us at the last minute. 211's can provide a whole wealth of resources to use before things ever get to a cut off utility, eviction, or homelessness!

I can't speak for all 211's but most should also have a website detailing all the agencies in their database. if you don't like phone calls, this can be something to reference instead.

If you don't have health insurance but you need to see a doctor, reference 211! We list clinics that provide free or discounted general care, vision, and dental services to low income households and people without insurance! Many hospitals also have financial aid policies that can severely reduce your bill if you had an expensive procedure!

If you're stuck in a dead end job or need educational resources reference 211! There are a lot of programs focused on providing basic adult education as well as trade skills or other high demand fields! State governments are generally more interested in funneling people into work than providing benefits, but you can still use this to your advantage especially if you have some form of disability but are still able to work. That includes if you're neurodiverse or have mental health issues! Most of these programs are extremely underutilized.

If you believe you qualify for public benefits but the bureaucracy of the process is in your way, reference 211! There are agencies specifically geared towards helping people obtain the benefits they qualify for- for free!

If you need help with your taxes-

If you need help finding a pro bono lawyer-

If you need help finding affordable housing/section 8 housing-

If you need help finding food pantries-

If you need help paying for your prescriptions-

If you need help obtaining disability aids or assistive technology-

If you need help finding transportation options-

If you need help following a natural or personal disaster (like a home fire)-

If you need help repairing a home you or your family owns or it needs modifications to be accessible-

If you need Queer resources-

Reference your 211!!!!!

I had no idea what 211 was before working for it but I wish I had. I've learned so much about what resources are actually available to the community even in a ho hum area of the country like my state. I've saved my partner literally thousands of dollars just from the medical resources I've gathered.

Not enough young people know about or utilize these services but they are there for you!

P. S.

This isn't an intended use of 211, but I like to reference the agency listings when I look for jobs. Many of the agencies listed are non-profits which, while they certainly are not perfect, generally have lower barriers of entry to decent paying jobs with benefits. The work environments tend to be much kinder and at least pretend to be forward thinking. You're more likely to find jobs without as many people applying as well, especially if they're only advertising their positions through their own website.

[sameenbyhat]

Homepage

Get help paying bills, finding food, and locating other resources near you. Call 211 now for confidential help from a caring expert.

[brosser-les-dents]

Oh my goodness. Sharing this because maybe your state has something to help you see a dentist! If it's been a while, please see I'd you have any dental services in your area. It's really so important to see a dentist.

[heedra]

In elementary school, my best friend and I had this game we would play where we were school supplies living inside a child's desk and going on slice-of-life adventures inside it. And I remember that a key component of our school supply society was a sort of religious schism that existed around the purpose and nature of the giant hand that occasionally reached in to grab different citizens, use them, and then return them, because most school supplies considered this an auspicious and enviable moment of being selected for a greater purpose and allowed a glimpse of a vast truth, but pencils considered it a horrible portent of doom because they always got sharpened during it and came back smaller and closer to death. We were third graders btw.

[zerosocialskillz]

I'm pulling these tags out prev

[androidboy]

this is what it’s like trying to piss in peace but u have pets

[parkchanwoohoo]

Heard this stupid dad joke that killed me: Which Chinese word takes the longest to write? "Friend" (朋友) because it takes two months just to write half of it

[parkchanwoohoo]

Which character is faster, hot (热) or cold (冷)? Obviously hot, which has 4 legs to cold's 1

[parkchanwoohoo]

Why do Chinese vampires hate spicy food? They only drink 不辣的

[claire-witch-project]

[arekayic]

etho’s jealous over grian choosing mumbo…

TRANSCRIPT UNDER CUT

ETHO: Should we change our name to— to, like—

GRIAN: MEGG?

ETHO: —GGE, since I’m an afterthought always?

GRIAN: AWW…

ETHO: I shouldn’t be coming first, really…

GEM: No, no, you’re EGG. You ignore him, he’s got Mumbo brain!

GRIAN: MUMBO JUST TURNED UP, DUDE!!!

MUMBO: I do feel really…

ETHO: It’s fine.

MUMBO: I do feel really bad.

GRIAN: Mumbo turned up! I don’t even know why he was HERE!!

GEM: You’re going to have to put a mustache on, or something, Etho.

MUMBO: Yeah, I mean Etho’s got, like, the—

ETHO: I think he’s attracted to mustaches, and I gotta get—

GEM: Yeah…

MUMBO: Yeah.

ETHO: —A really thick one.

*CLIP ENDS*

[sharkchunks]

I just spent a few minutes looking at the maps of where flock cameras are in my area, and when I found a restaurant or store I know with one nearby, I wrote their corporate site to let them know I’d not be going there again until the cameras were gone.

It didn’t take long but it felt like some tiny bit of good to do. Pit the corporations against this shit, they have far more power than I ever will. Just a thing for spare time if you feel the need to DO something but can’t find a way. Worked for me at least.

If you do- Be polite, send nothing that police could call a threat, and maybe remind them that Flock has been caught using these to spy on children and such. Why would anyone take their family to a big corporate owned restaurant when that’s happening? Things like that.

Be safe and stay sane.

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Not a joke, not unreality, and likely not an original idea but if anyone needs a way to pass a couple minutes it feels good. Fuck this bullshit to hell.

[feminarchyboss]

we all got that 1 friend that brings a sadomasochistic vibe 2 the hangout

[duchessvongooseberg]

buckle my shoe 😊

[adonischildsupportcase]

[anglerfl3sh]

I love post like "you all are against rich people until they're a fictional character" because it's completely true. I am against rich people until it's a fictional character. I don't think liking Scrooge McDuck makes someone a class traitor

[brightlotusmoon]

[lunnefisk]

harry dubois would end death note in one episode. he'd be unkillable bc he has no fucking idea what his name is and then he'd go drink driving and accidentally run light over and the killings would mysteriously stop

[sylvansylvain]

Harry: Kim, what's following that kid?

Kim: ...

Harry: What?

Kim: What are you talking about?

Inland Empire [80%]

Looks like you're the only one who can see it.

Harry: The... bone monster?

Kim: The bone monster.

Harry: Yes. The bone monster.

[rockergiirl]

THE BONE MONSTER - As you approach it grins, watching you watching it.

THE BONE MONSTER'S KID - "Good morning officers."

YOU - Continue looking at the bone monster.

THE BONE MONSTER - It tilts its head to the side quizzically at you.

YOU - Tilt your head in response.

THE BONE MONSTER - It begins leering over you, grinning even harder.

THE BONE MONSTER'S KID - The kid turns towards you.

PERCEPTION [LEGENDARY: SUCCESS] - For a moment he looked at the bone monster, and then to you.

THE BONE MONSTER'S KID - "Is there a problem, officers?"

KIM - "You will have to forgive my partner, he has quite an active imagination."

THE BONE MONSTER - "You hear that? I'm just a part of your imagination."

INLAND EMPIRE - I don't think he's a part of your imagination.

[meow-moment]

This man... He can see Ryuk? But how? The only explanation is that he touched my Death Note, but I've had it with me all day! Did he sneak into my room last night while I was asleep? But, all my security measures were intact... And he seems confused, is he putting on an act? Let me see if I can...

"Pardon me officer, I don't think I caught your name?"

"Uh, well that's the thing, I, uh, don't actually remember it at the moment."

Damn him! He knows I need a name to kill, and now he's taunting me! He can see Ryuk, too, so one wrong move could end me! I might have to make the eye deal at this point...

---------------------------------

LOGIC [Medium, failure]: This bone monster is obviously Kira. You are fucked.

Try to make Kim see the bone monster. [Suggestion, Legendary]

Attempt to arrest the bone monster.

Put yourself between the bone monster and Light.

Ask Light for some money.

Try to play it off as a joke and leave quickly. [Composure, Formidable]

[transcyberism]

> Attempt to arrest the bone monster

PERCEPTION [EASY: FAILURE] - You can't tell what gender it is.

YOU - "Excuse me, sir-- or, uh, madam?-- Bone... person..."

THE BONE MONSTER - It laughs, a deep, gutteral sound, like air escaping from the lungs of a corpse. As its jaw moves, you can see rows upon rows of sharp teeth inside its gaping maw.

COMPOSURE [CHALLENGING: SUCCESS] - You stand your ground and manage not to freak out.

YOU - "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to come down to the police station. You... uh, match the description of a suspect... I think."

THE BONE MONSTER - It lets out a loud, phlegmatic belly laugh. "What are you going to do, arrest me?"

AUTHORITY - Damn right you are. Cuff him.

YOU - "Yes, as a matter of fact, I will. You are under arrest on suspicion of being Kira. Put your hands forward, wrists together."

KIM - "How exactly are you going to handcuff a hallucination, Detective?"

THE BONE MONSTER - It laughs again, like this is the funniest thing in the world, before obediently sticking out its arms.

THE BONE MONSTER'S KID - His eyes go wide and his face goes pale as you place the cuffs on the monster's wrists, before his gaze darts to Kim.

KIM - He is staring at the cuffs. He looks bewildered. "Are those handcuffs... floating?"

-----------------------------------

Shit! Ryuk, why did you have to comply?! Is this a game to you? No matter... They still don't realize that I'm Kira, not Ryuk. All I have to do is stay calm and act surprised. I'm sure Ryuk can just escape later, once he gets bored. And this other cop obviously can't see him, so it seems it's only the first one who has touched a Death Note... I just need to make it seem that he's the only one who can see Shinigami. Then I'll seem innocent, and he'll be the suspicious one!

"How did you do that? Is it some kind of magic trick?"

--------------------------------------

SHIVERS [Heroic, Success]: As intimidating as it looks, the bone monster isn't the real threat.

Deduce who the real Kira is [Logic, Godly]

Ask Light what he knows about the bone monster.

Tell Kim I-told-you-so.

Convince Light you are a sorcerer [Drama, Impossible]

Ask Light if he has any cigarettes.

[behindnightmaresanddreams]

I don't know shit about Harry's universe but I wanna see where this is gonna go. I vote cigarettes next.

[optimisticlucio]

[nattousan]

[life-is-molasses]

[inkjie]

soliloquy by an immortal cave painter.

pencil, ink, and ochre on paper

[lizbukchoy]

me and a friend had a running joke about editing the gif of kermit and christian bale nodding at each other for a number of years, and i found the folder of edits and feel like this is maybe a place for them.

[forcekenobi]

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine

[forcekenobi]

sorry. only semi-related but i simply wasn't ready for "the sun is a distant gorilla". thank you NASA

[hyperchaotix]

[icarus-suraki]

[dateamonster]

secret organizations for studying paranormal phenomena are always calling the creatures they find like "specimen 58008" or some fake latin taxonomy or something vague and ominous like "the red angel" or whatever and thats all well and good but i want a story about a bunch of cryptozoologists going around naming things the way people name like actual birds and lizards and shit.

i want to get lost in the woods and meet the ring-tailed tree creeper and roger's false elk. i want a character who is desperate to prove this monster is actually a distinct species from that very similar looking monster so they can name it after themself. i want two field researchers narrowly escaping an encounter with some ten foot tall thing made of carnivorous vines and one of them is like wow wait til the guys back at the lab hear we got that close to a lesser thorn-backed bone eater 🙂 and the other scientist is like.,...... 😰lesser?

[dateamonster]

thank you for appreciating my boobs calculator joke but the real overlooked gem of this post is rogers false elk. basically this entire post was just an excuse to come up with a hypothetical monster called rogers false elk. its just so pleasing to me. does nobody care him? does nobody but me care for rogers false elk?