The Day Between

Not Quite Sunday

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Work from Home

Touch me the way I want it. Don’t make me ask, that releases a tension I want to feel — the throb of a full-bodied longing for you. Touch me. Touch me the way I want it.

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Beginnings

I choose to begin again because that’s life after all. When we decide not to start we begin to die. Everything begins again and again: the sun tulips in Spring wet white snowfall my lover’s eyes as he wakes. I lean in to kiss him. Let’s begin, once again. It’s the only way.

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Relationship

I thought about what might happen if I stay a little longer. A little longer past the inner child wounds and hurt, a little longer past the ego bursts, a little longer past the annoyance and the discomfort and the boredom and the desire for more more more. So many times I fled in the midst of this — I stopped, I retreated, I threw up my hands and I said “That’s enough for me!” But then I…

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I am a runner

I don’t think I ever had a choice when it came to running. When I was 6 or 7, I begged my mom for a solid week to allow me to do gymnastics or ballet. I don’t know where I got the bug to ask for either of those things, but I knew that my body was meant to move in remarkable ways. As a middle kid of twelve, there were a few barriers to me doing something out of the norm of the family and beyond…

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After the 100 miles

Once I completed my Leadville 100 summer, I was back in my dusty old Subaru and on the road back to Minnesota. Today is a Friday, October 27th, and it’s been about 2 months since I pulled back in front my South Minneapolis house, turned off the ignition, and sat in the humid car for just a second more. “I have to water my plants,” was somehow my first thought. In the 99 degree midwest heat, I…

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100 miles

During the Summer of 2023, I found myself in a 1980’s built cabin on the edge of a mountain in Alma, Colorado. I was at 11,000ft altitude. I was out of breath taking the laundry up the stairs from the basement to the ground level. And I was deliciously happy. Because I was training for the Leadville 100 trail run. This was a footrace in Leadville, CO that takes you from the town of Leadville,…

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Reverence for my dusty Subaru

I’ve driven her ten thousand miles from the cooling song of April into the earthy soil ways of May then along the slow stovetop burn of June into the rasping caverns of July and August. She’s parked now, somewhere in Nebraska a state stretched out in an impossible yawn of flatlands tinted with cow pat and rest stops. A mostly silent companion as her radiator tinkled with anticipation…

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Notes from the Trail

My feet carried me here: a long, loping trail snaking its way upward into the heartbeat of a mountain. My feet hear the rumble of a cyclist long before my eyes spot him. We breathe heat in unison as he passes, my legs leaping the to the trail’s edge to lean against an aspen’s white chocolate bark. Her leaves dance with alpine wind, the shake of schoolyard games. I am flung back through…

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Mountain Woman

Today I met a mountain woman and she told me she gets the sickness when she goes down in altitude, not up. I understood that to be the sign of a broken alpine heart.

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I am a sunlit island

When I wait for you my thighs quiver, my lips rebel and do the same. Crash of heart against ribs, never-ending ocean waves; the heat of divine magic rises from between my legs. I am a sunlit island, born from volcanic fury, brimming with wild life. My breath leaves lung in a slow dance as if each exhale were dressed in a gown of gossamer. I won’t be still. Even as I wait, the…

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We are mountains

I painted for an hour when my mind would not sit still and every little brushstroke brought me flow up until the thunder started rolling the lightning slashed the sky so I wandered to the kitchen for cup of coffee, slice of pie to look out beyond the fir trees at the mountain standing tall– I wondered if it mattered my mind couldn’t relax at all. But then I felt the mountain rising…

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My beauty

I used to be afraid of bees from when I was three because a whole swarm stung me. But at thirty three, I realize that each bee mistakes me for a flower.

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I've become a person who

waves at trucks and cars as I walk down a mud-dirt road; drives in silence along mountain passes and fir tree forests; watches the sun play games behind the clouds and dance back out again; goes to bed early in order to wake with the precious dawn; takes up space sitting and standing and even roaming the grocery store; says hello to birds and excuse me to groundhogs and good bye to each…

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My Origin Story

I was once water tumbling from mountaintops. Forever in my belly: the surge and urge to move forcefully rushing knowing how to go but not sure where I’ll arrive. I once tumbled blindly crashed into rock and branch: I didn’t linger, I snaked obstacles, forged on trusting the free fall. The trees all knew my name watching gleefully as I rushed and gushed toward home.

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Taking my Mind for a Morning Walk

There’s debris in my mind and all the dust its kicked up is sending me sideways into the past and its rust. I’m finding odd thoughts about the what ifs and shouldas and wiping down smears from all the if-only-I-couldas. My left side is bogged down with the wreck of what was and the right side is clogged up with the future’s odd fuzz. So I go for a walk and look up into the trees so…

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Acceptance

I want us to see the world through the lens that is each other. Do you see the vibrant rainbow fly; can I see the clouds that must precede it? Do you see the ways the genders bend; can I see the love that you’ve created?

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Date night

I like when we have big conversations in small moments the ones nestled between the roll of the die as the trivial pursuit board laughs at our not-so-youthful faces scrunched up in competitive storytelling. I like when beer slides past our tongues and we loosen up enough to bob our shoulders playfully to Prince. I want to bump knees under the table as the French fries drift past us our…

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