Dealing with mental illness
Growing up, I knew I was a little different. I had ADHD, took ritalin and went on with my life. As I went off of it in high school, my ADHD had seemingly subsided. But other things started happening. I started experiencing severe anxiety and depression; I missed school for long periods of time. I could barely make it through each day. But there were great times, too. The end of high school and beginning of college seemed to be marked by the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. I always wondered, are my emotions just stronger than everyone else?
Now, I donât have an answer to that question, but I do know my emotions are at least different from a lot of people. After a debilitating anxiety attack during this yearâs fall semester, I went home for my personal well-being for two weeks. During that time, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It was pretty shocking. I am different, I thought. I always had heard about bipolar disorder and how crazy people were on it. One second theyâd be crazy angry, and the next second theyâd be overjoyed. Uncontrollable. Uncivilized. But after just a little bit of research, I realized something: Iâm not alone.Â
There are 5.7 million Americans over the age of 18 diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Thatâs 2.6% of the population â and those are just those who are diagnosed. There are so many people out there like me â people that I meet, even â and I donât even know.
Sure, itâs hard realizing that you have a real mental disorder. It was scary to me that during my first âmanic episodeâ (a stage where you experience extreme highs and lows and exhibit erratic behavior) I couldnât explain why I was feeling the way I did. In fact, most of those couple weeks I spent at home were a blur. Everything ran together. I donât know if that was because of my mental state or if I just blocked it out, but it was hard to come to terms with.Â
Personally, Iâve never exhibited judgement on to those who have mental illnesses. But once I was diagnosed, I really felt different and alone. But thanks to the wonderful support of friends and family, I have an incredible support group. They make me feel normal.Â
After realizing that a lot of people donât have the support system I do, I decided to channel my problems into something positive. I started the Mental Health Awareness Club at Michigan State with a couple friends, and itâs really helped me use my issues to educate others and help them know that itâs okay to not be okay.Â
I donât tout it like itâs something great, but I try to be open about my mental health. Because itâs just like any other illness. Would you be afraid to tell someone you have Crohnâs Disease or a bad back?Â
Through it all, the best way I have been able to cope was to see that Iâm not alone and that people will support me. If you have any friends struggling with mental illness, all I ask is that you be there for them. If you have a mental illness yourself, remember youâre not alone. You are never alone.
