The-Fallen-Seraph

She was an angel craving for chaos He was a demon seeking for peace

[the-fallen-seraph1]

#MissingHerPart6 - Hari Raya Aid Fitri

#MissingHerPart6 - Hari Raya Aid Fitri

Isn't she look so gorgeous in that black dress. Oh how I wish last year I can visit her for Hari Raya, now I even miss her even more.

It's too sad because of the pandemic everything was ruined. I could have already been there with her and celebrate Hari Raya or spending time with her on normal days. I already plan everything for us, hotel, place to spend together, to visit and for our date. But now the plan is just a dream for me.

I don't think blaming the pandemic causes our relationship to fall apart because without the pandemic I couldn't have met/known her.

Even tho during the pandemic and LDR, we still did a lot of fun thing from a video call, playing video call games, exchanging funny picture & sexy pictures together. We did manage to have fun together 😇 it's full of joy and laughter. Oh, I miss that kind of memories. How fun it is if we are in the same place together. I cant imagine how fun it is. We could have to stay until the end of our life. I mean with her kind of attitude its better to be nearer to her and much easier to know how she thinks and her emotions

It's hard to maintain LDR, if one is too busy, and one is needed to take care of carefully like being there for her, I mean not just being there, we did that but we were lacking in communication during that period and she always misunderstood all the time but it's my fault didn't tell her anything about it, about the surprise present for her. She wasn't a type of really patient one. I should have just told her. But actually, she was a bit of patience it's just that the delivery of the present taking forever to reach her. I feel disappointed and heartache.

#to be continue & edited** so busy with hari raya

It

[the-fallen-seraph1]

#MissingHerPart 5 - No One Can Ever Replace you

#MissingHerPart 5 - No One Can Ever Replace you

Things could not be any better than they are now, with you in my life. You are my inspiration and you're the one who stands by me through everything and gives me a shoulder to cry on. Most of all, you make me know that I am loved. There is no one that makes me feel whole the way that you do. You mean everything to me.

There is nothing that I would not do for you, and there is no one else I would want to share my life with. You are the reason I get up in the morning and the reason I go to work, and you make me look at life from a new perspective. I have never met anyone as wonderful as you are. I really miss you when we are apart.

There are so many things that I am grateful for now, I can't even count them. You have been there for me through thick and thin. I thank you for giving me the opportunity to get to know you and for always being there for me. You mean so much to me; it's unbelievable that I have found someone as wonderful as you are. Even when I am down, you are always there for me and help bring me up again. Things have been so hectic lately that I could not have wanted anyone else to be there for me but you. You have been the stable force in my life, and this is just a note to let you know how much I love you.

You are the sun, the moon, the whole universe to me. I love you for who you are and how you make me grow when I am with you. There has never been anyone else I can depend on when life gets tough except you. There are many times when you seem to feel what I'm feeling, even when it wasn't necessary, but I thank you for it, and now I know how important I am to you. In all the relationships that I've had before, there has never been one that turned out to be true love. There are so many things I could thank you for, but that would be impossible because there are so many I wouldn't know where to begin.

I know that our love is true love. No one could ever replace you and, if anything happens to us, I don't know what I would do without you. You are my life and everything revolves around you. You hold my whole life in the palms of your hands. You make whole life light up when you enter it, and you shine on me just like a star, but then you are a star, you are my angel. There's nothing in the world that can replace you.

[the-fallen-seraph1]

#MissingHerPart4 - The Gothic Girl That I Love

#MissingHerPart 4 - The Gothic Girl That I Love

It's been a week now without her. I miss spending time with her. I wonder if there is a miracle that we can turn back in time where I can bitch slap my past self and fix my mistake.

She always right, I know it's my fault but I shouldn't make her mad or silent her. I should had just say sorry and be there with her and maybe play game with her but no I didn't. I was so selfish.

I can't stop thinking of you, every day when I try to forget about you, there is always that one thing or two that make me keep remembering about you.

I miss everything that we used to do together, sharing story every night till dawn, playing games, watching movies and most important one is i miss your undying love, your sweet attractive voice, your smile that melts my heart and touches my soul

I wish one day I can meet you

[the-fallen-seraph1]

#MissingHerPart3 - Darkness Within

#MissingHerPart3 - Darkness Within

Depression,

It’s so difficult to describe depression to someone who’s never been there because it’s not sadness. I know sadness. Sadness is to cry and to feel. But it’s that cold absence of feeling that hollowed out feeling.

The evil monster called "depression" has appeared again crawling out of her shadow and started to overwhelm her. It always randomly appear out of nowhere like an evil witch trying to ruin your life every time you were happy. I didn't know what to do at that time. If I can just hug her, kiss her forehead and hold her hand and sit beside her and wait for her, I will do it, but neither of that thing I can do at that time. I only watch her helplessly holding my phone and hopefully my video call won't get disconnected.

I can't even say anything, every word I said is meaningless, every piece of advice is just making things worse. All I have to do is just being with her, stay for her, and pray that it will go away. A lot of tears in her eyes started to roll down on her sweet cheeks, she cried so hard that time, I feel so uneasy and my heart aches to see her like that. I want to hug her so badly. As time passed so slow, 11 pm 12 pm until 2.30 am dawn. Eventually, after a few hours have passed, her depression goes away and crawling back into the darkness inside her shadow again.

It was painful to see her like that, but it's more painful for her to had the depression that overwhelms her entire mind and soul. I wish I was there to protect her, to hug her, hold her hand and whispered that everything will be alright.

[the-fallen-seraph1]

#MissingHerPart2 - Dream of the world

#MissingHerPart2 - Dream of the world

She was an angel in disguise. A beautiful one. She is the most adorable angel I ever had.

The first time we meet she was really in a broken state that hard to be fixed nor heal. The hole in her heart was so big, I filled some of that gap and help her in every way I can. I give her all my time, all my sweat and love to give her life back, every morning, night and dawn I always there for her, every moment of that time my heart slowly starts to fall in love with her. I said to myself "I can't wait to see you shine again one day, oh my sweet stranger".

After a few weeks has passed, all my time I spend with her was worth it, I make her shine once again, her heart was fully healed and I feel so happy and joyful that words can't even describe. We started to fall in love, I finally find my soul mate that day. She is the love of my life, the keeper of my soul, and the realization of my dreams. My life would be empty without her.

Ohh sweet bloody memories. I wish I can repeat or loop the time, replay again and again for that moment to feel her happiness, watch her smile and hear her voice

[the-fallen-seraph1]

#MissingHerPart1 - A really dark day without her

#MissingHerPart1 - A really dark day without her

The hand of the bloody gothic girl that I miss n love so freaking much. Never forget that I am an idiot. I didn't meant to said something really rude ill-mannered thing to her which I cant be forgiven. Never once I make her feel so betrayed and hatred toward me. I wish one day she can forgive me and accept me back and when that time comes I will be the new man for her. I will make her my everything. Give all the blood that I can offer, all my time and all my life. No more games. No more useless stuff. No more no time for her.

But to be fair even if she didn't accept me again. I won't regret the time both of us spend together. I enjoy the time with her and feel very happy. I never had someone like her before back then.

I wish we could have met, so I can hold her warm hand and bring her out of her lair.