What ails you, my dear?

Hello there, dear friends! The name is Sylvester McMonkey McBean, and I'm the best fixer you've ever seen. For I know precisely why you're so unhappy, and that I can fix- I'm the Fix-It-Up Chappie. #thefixitupchappie #Sylvester McMonkey McBean M!A Status:... kofiwidget2.init('', '#46b798', 'A3735NA');kofiwidget2.draw();

[classic-spinner]

Oh fuck-! Where is my purse?!

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

Babe, I’ve had your purse for the past three hours.

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

So, what did you think? Was it worth the trip and the massive insulin spike?

[classic-spinner]

And then some. I have never seen anything like it, that was amazing.

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

You’ll never forget it. Mostly because it’s burned into your retinas, but also because… yeah, it’s an experience the first few times. I’m usually working around the city when this thing lights up. I’m… glad you’re here this time.

[classic-spinner]

Me, too. Thank you for coming. I know you don’t care for Christmas, but I’m so happy you came anyway.

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

... Me, too.

I like Christmas more now that you like it.

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

So, what did you think? Was it worth the trip and the massive insulin spike?

[classic-spinner]

And then some. I have never seen anything like it, that was amazing.

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

You’ll never forget it. Mostly because it’s burned into your retinas, but also because... yeah, it’s an experience the first few times. I’m usually working around the city when this thing lights up. I’m... glad you’re here this time.

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

So, what did you think? Was it worth the trip and the massive insulin spike?

[classic-spinner]

the-fix-it-up-chappie‌:

This tree gets bigger every year. They’d go broke buying ornaments every single year.

-and so, without any further ado, let us light our Christmas tree one more time for Christmas Eve, to guide Santa to our little town and bring the spirit of Christmas home once more!

-the Major of Whoville presses the big red button beside her and the massive tree bursts into a sea of glittering light-

Oh wow….

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

... yeah, it’s... amazing.

[classic-spinner]

Hello, Whos of Whoville and beloved guests from far and wide! Welcome to our humble town as we celebrate the most wonderful, magical time of the year: Christmas!

Come on, come on…! -finds them a spot and pulls him in close- Wow… look at that tree… It’s enormous…!

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

Tell me about it. That things probably older than the town.

I know a guy who would be thrilled to know they chopped it down.

[classic-spinner]

We want to thank you all for coming to the final and most beautiful event of the season before the big night, and for your generous donations of ornaments and decorations that once again adorned our lovely tree!

Oh, I thought they had a set they used…

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

This tree gets bigger every year. They’d go broke buying ornaments every single year.

[classic-spinner]

Hello, Whos of Whoville and beloved guests from far and wide! Welcome to our humble town as we celebrate the most wonderful, magical time of the year: Christmas!

Come on, come on…! -finds them a spot and pulls him in close- Wow… look at that tree… It’s enormous…!

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

Tell me about it. That things probably older than the town.

I know a guy who would be thrilled to know they chopped it down.

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

classic-spinner‌:

the-fix-it-up-chappie‌:

classic-spinner‌:

the-fix-it-up-chappie‌:

That… is really specific. You really can find an ornament of anything here.

I love that green color, though.

…. it’s red, sugar.

I know what I said.

Another reason Christmas sucks, by the way. Everything is very grey this time of year.

… -tries and fails not to laugh- You poor thing…

Your laughter really sells your sincerity, babe. It really does.

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

classic-spinner‌:

the-fix-it-up-chappie‌:

That… is really specific. You really can find an ornament of anything here.

I love that green color, though.

…. it’s red, sugar.

I know what I said.

Another reason Christmas sucks, by the way. Everything is very grey this time of year.

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

classic-spinner‌:

the-fix-it-up-chappie‌:

I don’t know, but she’s an amazing cook. I don’t know whether it is because it’s an accurate timing method or whether her food is literally blessed, but I’ve always been well fed.

Have you found the perfect ornament? Remember, if you don’t like anything here, there’s literally 60 other ones in Whoville we can try.

No need! I found one!

-holds up a classic car shaped ornament- Look! It’s a 1933 Fjord Phaeton!

That... is really specific. You really can find an ornament of anything here.

I love that green color, though.

[classic-spinner]

So do you celebrate Christmas at all?

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

Not usually. I’ll go home sometimes and see my mother, but I usually go the day or so afterwards so I can avoid the obligatory Christmas Service and Nativity play. Not that the Church doesn’t do an adequate job every single year, but I am usually not willing to get up at 5am to drive an hour for it.

[classic-spinner]

I take it your mom is more religious than you are.

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

The Pope takes religion less seriously than my mother does. I partially blame her using different prayers to measure cooking time for my lack of culinary skills.

[classic-spinner]

… how does that work?

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

I don’t know, but she’s an amazing cook. I don’t know whether it is because it’s an accurate timing method or whether her food is literally blessed, but I’ve always been well fed.

Have you found the perfect ornament? Remember, if you don’t like anything here, there’s literally 60 other ones in Whoville we can try.

[classic-spinner]

So do you celebrate Christmas at all?

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

Not usually. I’ll go home sometimes and see my mother, but I usually go the day or so afterwards so I can avoid the obligatory Christmas Service and Nativity play. Not that the Church doesn’t do an adequate job every single year, but I am usually not willing to get up at 5am to drive an hour for it.

[classic-spinner]

I take it your mom is more religious than you are.

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

The Pope takes religion less seriously than my mother does. I partially blame her using different prayers to measure cooking time for my lack of culinary skills.

[classic-spinner]

So do you celebrate Christmas at all?

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

Not usually. I’ll go home sometimes and see my mother, but I usually go the day or so afterwards so I can avoid the obligatory Christmas Service and Nativity play. Not that the Church doesn’t do an adequate job every single year, but I am usually not willing to get up at 5am to drive an hour for it.

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

So we’ve hit Jo-Jo’s Hot Cocoa, Red Thread Gingerbread, and Granny Annie’s Dandy Candy, Shandy and Brandy Stand.

So my blood may be syrup right now, and if we move on to Brook’s Cookie Nook, I will probably hit terminal blood sugar and die. That being said, what’s next?

[classic-spinner]

I think we should head over to the tree in about an hour, so how about we find one of the ornament shops? I love kitschy Christmas ornaments, and there’s an empty spot on my tree for-

Excuse me~! Christmas pictures for the holly jolly couple~?

… -turns to Sylvester with a smile- …?

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

… okay, fine.

[classic-spinner]

Okay, cuddle close, turtledoves!

-proceeds to get very, very into her job-

A-ha! Got the perfect one! Here you go! Merry Christmas!

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

-takes the picture and tips their photographer-

... Huh. Not bad for a street hustler.

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

So we’ve hit Jo-Jo’s Hot Cocoa, Red Thread Gingerbread, and Granny Annie’s Dandy Candy, Shandy and Brandy Stand.

So my blood may be syrup right now, and if we move on to Brook’s Cookie Nook, I will probably hit terminal blood sugar and die. That being said, what’s next?

[classic-spinner]

I think we should head over to the tree in about an hour, so how about we find one of the ornament shops? I love kitschy Christmas ornaments, and there’s an empty spot on my tree for-

Excuse me~! Christmas pictures for the holly jolly couple~?

… -turns to Sylvester with a smile- …?

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

... okay, fine.

[the-fix-it-up-chappie]

So we’ve hit Jo-Jo’s Hot Cocoa, Red Thread Gingerbread, and Granny Annie’s Dandy Candy, Shandy and Brandy Stand.

So my blood may be syrup right now, and if we move on to Brook’s Cookie Nook, I will probably hit terminal blood sugar and die. That being said, what’s next?