ALXNDRBJRS @the-greatalejandro - Tumblr Blog

Dear notes: Letter to my son

Dear son I know this is too much for you to take in but eventually you'll get what I mean (and what the society doesn't). Remember those women with cloaks over their head? They aren't as scary as you think, you may have seen on TV mugshots of similar people but no, they don't carry deadly and explosive things. It doesn't matter who their God is and how they say their prayers but they are also good people and they don't love to kill. That guy with long hair and shiny things in his tongue you see in church isn't a freak. He just loves that get-up and he just feels doing it but it doesn't make him any less of an upright person or someone who went to school. He knows how to smile too even though he does a sharp look every time. Isn't it amazing how those skulls on his arm were inked? You can have one when you're old. Don't ever think God will get mad or punish you if you don't follow what I say. It's okay to do bad things at times but as long as you don't hurt anyone, even God- you know He get hurts too when you're being a bad boy. Remember, when you're having a bad day it's not because God doesn't love you. It's because you had too much days playing with your stuff toys and they too need a break. You still have tomorrow to play with them. And also, you don't need to memorize those long words and prayer your Religion teacher taught you. God can read your mind. He already knows what supper you want for tonight, how happy you are about your bubble bath and how sorry you are for poking Lara's eye. Just talk to Him often, He listens any time of the day. No. Your seatmate in prep school didn't have dirty skin. He was born with darker skin because it looks good on him, and he wasn't sick or something. You don't have to worry about having your arm touch his or giving him a hug. He smells good just as you do. You don't have to play baseball if you aren't really good at it. Just because your boy cousins love to play outside doesn't mean you can't stay at home and do coloring books with your sister if that's what makes you happy. It's okay to cry when they tease you about it, you have your sister to back you up. You should only play sports if you love the game, not because you have to prove them that you are strong and manly. Kissing isn't just for a boy and a girl, like what your mom and I usually do. You can tell your bestfriend you like his hair and his eyes too and it's never awkward at all. Your 'crush' doesn't necessarily have to be a girl and I wouldn't get mad at you for that. You can love anyone, son and you can be friends with anyone. Just never, ever be selective based on what society thinks is normal and 'okay' because I just want you to stay who you are. And be happy for what you are. Love, Dad

XVIII

I get used to only having simple mini-celebration every 12th of August since I don't really ask for big extravagant parties or whatever way that such would be costly or hassle on my part. A full round of 365 sunshines, sometimes a gratified and fulfilled sigh of having been able to live longer replaces that birthday hype, which I'm better off. And the eighteenth was my favorite kind of different.

The cake I never ate.

Thank you for being there Tay! I know you could've had your bed rest in Dalaguete instead.

My birthday actually marked the start of our midterm exams for this year's acad calendar and prolly in the next years to come. This ain't a reason not to celebrate though. (First) We went to a pizza parlor for lunch. We needed a happy tummy because maoy. (Second) My blockmates surprised us since we were both celebrating our birthdays during the week. (Third) Them! Insert some other friends. We played kinect at Songhits after and went to knockbox.

By the weekend, the real party has just begun. Brace yourself with our Cable Car snaps. (Above) The bartender gave me a flaming tower martini (or was it vodka) for free! Birthday boy perks.

The best girls I have known.

Highschool never ends, and no, I beg not to say it's cliche. Dream team!

Fake boyfriend duties! I sucked at being Wong's bae during that night- ended up winging her with a stranger though.

The best birthday present from the team. Reminded me of the invested responsibility and independence thereof as I hold legality. Cheers to a high spirited mature Alex!

Dear notes: Letter to the wrong person

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On with your red-checkereds, I guess you were when my sight must’ve been locked on something, to someone I have never seen genuinely tantalizing as ever that made me wonder what degree of stars you were, beautiful creature I may say, made of. I second thought of my hormones having humor but I wouldn’t deny about your eyes and your geeky-ness perfectly tailor-fit for what I thought was my fetish in a sense of without malice- you know, someone whom I would want to cuddle up all day, flirt. But nah-uh, you will eventually be forgotten I rather opt.

I know nothing about you on that while but it seemed like you’re a little magneto, made me do stolen glances every other second. Later did I know that was it: I was crazy about you. But not too much. More like my favorite eye-candy, a sweet delight literally that I would want to indulge myself when it’s handed out but like any other treat, I just can go by without having a piece. But nah-uh, you will eventually be forgotten I rather opt.

Fair enough.

I don’t really need you. But I want to know you, and you to know me. I had my delusions take control over and that was the craziest thing I did from being the craziest me to a stranger I barely know which is you. That moment when I knew my only option is just so- so- so wrong but I took my chances anyway because I had my brain thinking that maybe it’d work out for the two of us? that maybe there’s chemistry, that maybe there aren’t compatibility issues after all? Never in my life I have chosen to be dumb for a while, but not for that moment.

I don’t really need you. But why I dared to move the heavens and the earth just to break down the walls of unknowing is something I can’t figure out. I did the worst way I could do just to make you want me. I knew this would make me drown in poison. But the plot-twist was, I thought it was going to the right direction. I couldn’t get any dumber on that moment.

Of course, befriending you was like a tickle in the groin. You had me the hype of getting in JW342MC on those two days every week. It has been running months now getting-close did we get to know and your openness over how I am to you is just that flabbergasting. In that moment, you made me happy. But thoughts still do haunt me about everything about it not likely to happen if I didn’t choose the wrong option, the fact that it’s just so- so- so wrong. I couldn’t get any dumber on that moment.

Never I knew, as I was getting to know you, little by little, you were breaking my heart. It hurts that each day we’re together were the times that I give you the privilege to fill the list of reasons why it can never be us. Never I knew that from knowing you I would say that the wrong option taken was worthless, that everything I did was just a boomerang to me. Have you ever gone to a trip, let’s say, to Neverland- but along the way had yourself wishing that you shouldn’t have made your way on the road after realizing such destination doesn’t exist? That the idea of journey was an illusion’s foolishness and make-believe? I couldn’t get any dumber on that moment, for real.

Why it's time for girls to run to 'guy' bestfriends

Sisterhood is overrated. Girls are undoubtedly the hardest-to-fathom creatures yet to exist. They tend to presume and assume (at the same time) every situation as how their intuition understands it. Really. Some things that aren’t meant the way it should be are being comprehended in a ‘You get me?’ that only their girlfriends can decode. ‘You feel me?’ or ‘You know how it is, right?’ statements in addition. And they use these phrases every single time whenever they can’t suffice any more words to describe how they’re feeling and when they fall short of emotive expressions to make their friends empathize to the pain they’ve been going through (considering in heartbreak situations), which isn’t really necessary and shouldn’t be a moral obligation of your not-so-into-your-lovelife friends.

But nevertheless, I get it.

Girls are girls and every herd of them in circles is unbreakable especially in times when someone needs a shoulder. They overreact and do all things altogether and to them, it’s just the way it is. But all this time, I’ve been wondering why a pat-in-the-back and a ‘I understand you’-seeming nod is the kind of comfort that girls seek with their clique when they can turn to someone who can show them the other side of the story. Just maybe, asking answers from people who think the same way as you do is the wrong move. Sometimes the persons you run to and their perspectives on things do matter. You can’t put at stake an HONEST answer just so you could find someone who would show you that the universe agrees on you and feels the same way, when you’re really wrong.

For this reason, having an ideal friendship with the opposite gender comes into play. No, I’m not talking about girls befriending gays nor having the other person fall in love with the other one but I’m talking about GBF (Girl-Boy Friendship). I believe what ‘guy’ bestfriends advice is genuinely what’s honest. Because when girlfriends are more concerned of making you feel better, guys are more concerned of the truth. They’ll tell you whether you’re being ridicule or not without a second thought. But if he frequently responds like “OMG your ex is such a dick” and simply agrees to whatever you say, then you’ve chosen a douche instead of a real one. Guy best friends are hard to pick but few have been lucky.

You can’t generalize all guys to be potentially real nor can’t you generalize all girls to suck at being honest. But one thing’s for sure, when you’ve had enough comfort from the people you usually go with but still feels confused and in pain in the long run—then probably, you’ve heard the wrong words from the wrong people all along. It’s time to find someone who does not only understand you but also understands the situation you’re into and knows what to say better.