i have nothing to say but that wont stop me saying

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2 49 am

back on my bullshit. back on my retard. wish I was dead. always get like that when sad. hate this room. tired. good night. I need help too sometimes. love my dogs.

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and how do you expect to help your wife with such contentious riot. have you gone daft

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I don't know how to help anyone

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seething

there's so much I want to say but too much stupid stupid stupid in me to say it. I cried a whole lot this morning. I don't know what to do anymore. haven't had any inspiration for music lately. I want to rip out my teeth. I'm terezi now I'm blind. stupid

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kitchen

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court of owls

please listen to my music please listen to my music I am so desperate to have my music heard please. I want to be good at art and I want it now. I just want good drawings of my OCs. I want to roleplay shit. but I'm so lazy. that's what all my issues boil down to. I am so stupid and lazy. I keep throwing things in here like I'm expecting a solution. solve my issues tumblr. go on. I am very stupid

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face reveal at 100k

watch out I'm about to bring a fucking hammer to my internal clock. take that you motherfucker. let me sleep for longer I don't need to be waking up at 8am I'm on holiday ASSHOLE!!! big concern for your health! ever growing. I will never be as talented as some people and maybe that's okay. I am struggling to get to grips with how I feel about my music. I wish more people listened to it oh I DESPERATELY wish for that. sometimes I feel like all of my creativity goes to waste on people who don't care or people like myself who don't appreciate it as much. not Libby. she makes everything I do feel valid. WONDERFUL gf. still. I feel creatively uh oppressed. sounds pretentious. I'm really oppressed by my own dumb shit. I don't have the initiative to practice art. I wish I did. always working on my music though. please listen to my music. I want everyone to hear and talk about my music.

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hello you very very pretty girl

I love you very much and very very much and so so much forgive me for my vile shit attitude I'm just confused and very scared

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ten

slams hand into forehead until vicious self hatred is sated in rp

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ten minutes have passed

slams head on desk in rp

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ten years have passed

I wish I knew how to talk like other people can. it would be nice to be secure in what I say. fuck you Elyot. I wish I knew how to talk to sad People. I wish I knew how to talk to sad people. I wish I knew how to talk to sad people. fuck school. fuck my room. it's so annoying to look at. I wish I wasn't so stupid. I wish I had some knowledge in me to understand the outside world better. everywhere I go has closed doors. sometimes that's okay. fuck you winter. fuck you winter. go to sleep. you too. I wish I had some useful talent. why can't I express myself. I can never really do that. you're an ornament Charlie you can't change anything. read Homestuck. I'm losing interest in things. I don't want to go to college. it's such an inconvenience. I hate the people there. Juno was nice. very good film. I wish I could talk about things. bluh. bluh. lots of wishing today. git fucking gud you piece of shit.

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23 hours. Thursday. 19 days until Christmas.

what am I intending to cover in this one. I don't know. Christmas. that sounds good. I would honestly tear up if I heard Christmas music playing and it was snowing while I was out with my friends. Elyot (that wonderful terrible boy) proposed we all go on holiday to Japan later in our lives. he speaks Japanese and has friends there we could stay with. that's such a wonderful beautiful idea to me. I'm imagining filming it, then I would edit it, put in funny bits and lofi chillhop music for the slow bits like the plane there. oh what an idea that is. ore wa ochinchin ga daisuki nandayo. I love all my friends I wish the KCT group had better computers I would love to play roleplay focused games with them like Gmod murder and Barotrauma. the Bois collective group is great and all but they fail to see the fun in roleplay scenarios. I would LOVE to make a game LOVE LOVE LOVE. someone ask me about my ideas. I have never felt closer to making a game then I do now. RPGmaker, decrypter, possible spriter and a whole bunch of other people I'm sure would be happy to help. I LOVE MOONSETTER. ohHH IT IS SUCH A PRETTY AND LOVELY SONG HOMESTUCK HAS SUCH GREAT MUSIC. I think homestuck is becoming s special interest again. I feel dissatisfied completing this. But I'm happy with a host of other things. And that is the killian experience

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go to bed what are you doing sleep it's 4am you're going to regret this tomorrow retard

yeah

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15 minutes until Friday. it's Thursday

I can't wait to do my fucking quadrilogy of dnd campaigns it's gonna be so great I have names and basic plots for all of them already it's gonna be lit if it ever happens which it won't also hi!!!! Hi Libby!!! If you're reading this you're my best friend!!!!' If you're not reading this you're still my best friend hi!!!!

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23 hours and half an hour. Thursday. I'm so so hungry

oh. I'll say this before I forget because if I leave it I will forget because I am a bit of a stupid fucker. I love this icon the one I'm using I use it for discord too it's so comfortable I'm so attached to that one still image of Terezi. segue. you know kin. I wish I did. It makes no sense to me but I want it to so badly. Sometimes I've thought about Terezi and thought "kin?" But I truly can't know. I don't get kin. Terezi is probably my comfort character. Comfort character. Not sure I fully grasp that either. What the fuck do I grasp. I'm not very smart

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23 hours. it's Thursday. hello

oh. hi what's happening. I think I'm making this for myself but everything I do has to be for other people. I don't make jokes for myself. I don't make jokes. I'm so hungry. I have to be funny to be someone. Wow what a fucking start you hunk of garbage. fuck