“may your trials end in full bloom”
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@the-moon-between-us
“may your trials end in full bloom”
Post TLG Shane and Ilya have to stay with Yuna and David for a few days because the repairs to the cottage weren’t finished by the time the season ended. The first night, Shane tries to initiate sex but Ilya shuts him down. Shane is worried that something is wrong but Ilya is like “You’re too loud, they’ll hear” and Shane spends the next 10 minutes trying to convince Ilya he’ll be quiet (“I’ll be quiet. I’ll suck on your fingers to keep quiet, Ilya.”). Meanwhile, down the hall, Yuna and David are having the exact same argument (“No, David. You’ve been so loud since Shane moved out. The boys will hear.” “…I can’t make noise if you sit on my face.”)
hollanov is batshit crazy about each other and the centaurs are mildly concerned about it but they seem well-adjusted regardless and it helps them win games so whatever. they do have a bit of an existential crisis about it though. like are they supposed to be that obsessed with their partner too? to which their partner say if they were that clingy the partner would be very scared.
#myshane loves the pwhl and the pwhl loves him back. in montreal, he would go to every victoire (triomphe?) game that he could given his schedule. he has jerseys and gets wedding invites and the entire roster's numbers in his phone. they adore him and he loves being around people who share his love of hockey without being boisterous dickbags
this leads to a full fledged uprising when shane gets run out of montreal though. they're so pissed off because really?? you got rid of your best player because he's GAY? the victoire no longer even associates with their nhl equivalent. it doesn't exist in their minds. meanwhile ottawa's pwhl team is already best friends with the centaurs and is just excited to have another addition that happens to be shane thee hollander
oh my god i submit a new bit to the shallergies council: ilya ends up doing a lot of footwork in asking about allergens as an act of service because shane has literally had to do this his whole life. so like. take a break. let me grab this one.
to the end result that it's not uncommon for shane to be like, "wait, can i eat this?" about things during team bbqs or something because he was over having fun with a ginger ale and ilya got the rundown because he wanted to know anyway.
but this also then evolves to a game of shane pointing to things that are OBVIOUSLY not safe and asking "can i eat this?" and ilya going "no. bad." purely as a bit. (like bowls of peanuts/cake with slivered almonds on it). and it's just a way of making an important part of their life also feel less heavy. like when it comes time to actually eat, the question is genuine and important, but if they're mingling and just passing by, it's just a funny inside joke.
and it's one ilya reciprocates, too. he has no allergies, but he still points at things and is like, "can i have this?" and shane just "nope. not allowed. forbidden.". and it's a joke.
to THEM.
for everyone on the outside of this dynamic who just overhears them, they're??? what the FUCK is y'all's dynamic?? how are you both equally wildly controlling of each other?? how does that even WORK??
oh MAN ilya does it with a receipt one day and shane is VERY OBVIOUSLY JOKING when he goes, "hell yeah. good for you. fiber, probably." and ilya locks eyes and opens his mouth, and now shane is in this parking lot trying to wrestle this receipt away from him the same way he does shoelaces from anya because he canNOT be sure that ilya won't fully commit to the bit and eat this receipt right here right now.
a concept: heavy rainfall when you’re tucked up in bed. like if u agree.
hi. did you know australia has a fairywren species called the superb fairywren
and another species called the splendid fairywren
...and one called the lovely fairywren
They just named these by showing pictures to some elderly woman and noting down her first delighted exclamation.
I just imagine that once they're on the same team Hollanov aren't really interested in like romantic PDA, but they are VERY interested in being physical with each other in the way athletes are. The first time Shane knocks helmets with him on the way into the tunnel, Ilya freezes, smiling with so much delight that Bood has to be like "Tighten up Cap! You see him all the time!" The first time Ilya snaps a towel at Shane has him laughing like Ilya is a physical comedy genius. The first time Shane chirps Ilya for missing a pass on the power play and Ilya puts him in a headlock to mess up his hair and then they start roughhousing like kids they both get so hard in their pants they better thank god for jock straps and cups. Like, this is their language. Camaraderie, fraternity, chirps, roasting, wrestling—now they get to have it together, for once.
On-ice things too!
fist bumps at the boards when one of them scores
Ilya getting to yell at the ref on Shane's behalf when he takes a cheap hit
Shane giving the hardest check of his career to the d-man that gave Ilya a minor concussion in the last game against them. The guy practically backflips but he's fine and the gif of Shane's snarling face goes viral
When Ilya loses a blade on the power play one time Shane's the closet one who can tow him to the bench (this goes VERY viral)
SICK PRETTY SHOTS on said power play, showing the world how fucking stupid everyone was to allow them to get on the same team
Real Hockey Fans who know real details should add more!
Okokok if I may :)
Locker Room / Bench
Guys tape everything—wrists, fingers, knees, ankles—and Ilya having strong opinions about how Shane tapes his wrists wrong and physically taking his hand and redoing it. It takes forever. You have to hold the wrist, keep tension on the tape. Shane spending the entire time staring at his face like he's having a religious experience.
The thing where your teammate finishes taping your stick because you're still messing with your skates. Deeply domestic. Completely normal hockey behavior. Ilya doing it for Shane without asking because he knows exactly how Shane likes his blade wrapped from years of studying him as an opponent. Shane does not Trust anyone else to even touch his stick
Ilya starts stealing Shane's sticks during morning skate and refusing to give them back until Shane physically wrestles them out of his hands.
Sharing a water bottle on the bench. Deeply unsanitary. Completely normal. Something you only really do with guys you're comfortable around. Ilya grabbing Shane's by mistake the first week and Shane not even mentioning it.
The thing where after a bad loss nobody talks. The room is silent except for tape ripping and gear getting packed away. Ilya sitting down next to Shane, shoulders touching, and saying absolutely nothing. Somehow that's the most anyone has said all night.
Sharing an iPad on the bench, shoulder-to-shoulder, drawing routes on the screen with gloved fingers. One of them grabbing the other's arm to point something out and not letting go because they're both still watching the clip.
The full-body lean that happens after a brutal shift. Just putting your entire weight onto the guy next to you because you're too tired to hold yourself up. Ilya doing it once without thinking and Shane automatically widening his stance to take the weight.
Ilya grabbing Shane's elbow during a TV timeout and physically moving him six inches to the left so he can see the whiteboard. Shane just lets himself be repositioned.
Guys smacking each other on the ass after a good play is so normalized in hockey it's practically invisible. The first time Ilya does it to Shane they both feel like they're getting away with something.
The way players grab the backs of each other's necks to get their attention. The way they grab cages to be heard over crowd noise. Ilya catching Shane by the visor and pulling him closer until they're practically nose-to-nose to say something, and Shane immediately going still.
Getting your jersey number called for a penalty and having to go to the box and your linemate skating you over, just a hand between the shoulder blades guiding you to the box door, and Shane doing this for Ilya once and Ilya looking back at him through the glass from the penalty box and Shane just tapping his own chest twice like I've got it, go sit down (I realize they're both centers but maybe occasionally Ilya plays wing, like mentioned about All-Stars in that bed convo w Sveta)
The two of them coming back to the bench after a shift and immediately starting to explain what they saw at the exact same time. "The weak-side D keeps cheating—" "I know, if we swing lower—" Neither of them stops talking. Somehow they're still having the same conversation.
Every winger they've ever played with eventually develops the same thousand-yard stare while Shane and Ilya spend an entire TV timeout discussing a faceoff they already won three minutes ago.
On The Ice
The thing about Shane being able to look completely bored while doing something physically absurd. Ilya being one of the only people who's ever been able to tell the difference between Shane coasting and Shane being fully locked in because he's spent years reading him from the other bench.
Now he reads him from the same bench. At some point Ilya realizes he can tell whether Shane is nervous by whether his right leg is bouncing. Shane is Hockey Jesus and therefore never nervous about himself, obviously. But teammates doing stupid shit? Suddenly the leg is going.
Shane automatically skates over to grab the extra guy after every scrum because nobody gets to cross-check Ilya except him.
The first month they accidentally keep ending up in the same support lane in the neutral zone. Both of them trying to do the responsible center thing on the breakout, swinging to provide an outlet, reading the same play developing and arriving in the same spot. One goes low to support the defenseman. The other is already there. It takes a month of bumping into each other before they stop thinking the exact same thought at the exact same time.
pThe breakout where Ilya is supposed to be the outlet but gets tied up on the wall. He manages to free one arm and taps his stick twice on the ice. Don't go middle. Go wide. Shane reads it instantly.
At some point they've developed an entire private language of stick taps that nobody else understands.
When the power play isn't working, they have entire conversations between whistles that are maybe thirty percent words and seventy percent stick taps, glove grabs, shoulder shoves, and pointing at patches of ice.
The Ovi-Backstrom thing, neither of them is permanently Ovi and neither of them is permanently Backstrom. Some shifts Shane is the shooter. Some shifts Ilya is. Some shifts they're both trying to set the other guy up. Figuring out who's who isn't really a system so much as a running conversation.
Shane pinching at the blue line, which coaches have spent his entire life trying to discourage. Ilya rotating back to cover before Shane has fully committed to the pinch. Making the decision for him before he's made it himself.
The first time they line up together for a defensive-zone draw and Ilya casually puts a hand on Shane's back and shifts him six inches to the right. It's not even a weird thing. Players reposition each other all the time. Shane still short-circuits because nobody has ever moved him before. He's always been the one directing traffic.
Shane taking a defensive-zone draw because it's on his strong side. Ilya automatically drifting to the wing. No discussion, no ego, just both of them recognizing what gives them the best chance to win possession.
Which is maybe the strangest thing about them. They've both spent their entire lives being THE centerman. The guy the play runs through. The guy who takes the draw. The guy who decides. And now they keep finding themselves yielding little pieces of territory to each other without even thinking about it.
They both tap their sticks on the ice in the exact same rhythm before a faceoff. Someone points it out. They deny it with suspicious speed. (They are the Exact Same People It's Creepy).
Both of them mutter constantly during games. To themselves. To the puck. To nobody. For years they did it from opposite benches. Now they're muttering at each other halfway through shifts, sometimes English, sometimes Russian, and their wingers genuinely cannot tell whether they're communicating or just happening simultaneously.
The line change where Shane is jumping over the boards and Ilya is coming off and for one second they have to occupy the exact same piece of ice. A hand on an elbow. A shove at the hip, crawling over each other. Alternatively, one of them trying to get on the bench where the other is already sitting, and like missing a little, so now Shane's dragging Ilya over the railing by the back of his jersey like a feral alley cat
Shane bodychecking Ilya into the boards during practice and then immediately grabbing his jersey to make sure he's still upright.
Ilya scores goals that look psychic because he knows where Shane is going before Shane does. The back-door tap-in where Shane hasn't even looked at him yet and Ilya is already there, stick on the ice, because he read Shane's shoulder angle and knew the pass was coming. Shane doesn't even have to find him. Ilya is just always in the right place because he's been studying Shane longer than Shane has been studying himself.
Goals / Celebrations
The goal celebration where Shane grabs Ilya's face in both hands and shakes it around viciously.
The chest bump that turns into Ilya holding him there for half a second longer than necessary because they're both laughing too hard.
When one of them gets named first star, the other immediately interrupts the interview by spraying him with a water bottle
Shane grabbing the back of Ilya's helmet and shaking it the way you'd ruffle someone's hair if the helmet wasn't there.
After wins Ilya getting Shane in a headlock and dragging him halfway across the ice.
Video / Meetings
The video session where the coaches are breaking down Ilya's one-timer and Shane keeps quietly finishing the explanation because he's spent years trying to defend against it. Ilya turning around to stare at him. Everyone else in the room already grinning, Shane having absolutely no idea what is funny.
Shane flicking the back of Ilya's helmet every time he says something stupid during film review.
Both of them are notorious video guys, which means they keep accidentally finding themselves alone in the video room after practice. At some point they stop pretending it's an accident.
The power-play meeting where the coach draws something up on the whiteboard and Shane reaches over, moves the bumper route two feet, and looks at Ilya. Ilya nods. The coach just sighs and updates the diagram because unfortunately they're right.
Rose Landry: The only person who still thinks about that cringy thing you did 10 months ago is you.
Shane Hollander: No, Ilya reminds me every now and then.
Idk guys i kinda think they, like, like-like each other
I love how it doesn't matter what expedition it is.
They all turn into excited kids when they meet penguins.
The Penguin: GIANTS! no way! I’m gonna wave at them THEY WAVED BACK! Holy Shit they’re dancing with me! My Wife is never gonna believe this OMG I got to dance with a Giant today so cool.
The Humans: Penguin! No way! I’m gonna wave at it IT WAVED BACK! Holy Shit it’s flapping with me! I got to play with a Penguin today; so cool.
ilya post wedding blackout drunk finding a random tweet thats a sneak pic of shane from that 2016 aquarium with shane holding haydens baby. the original tweet is years old, from 2016 around that time frame, and no one is super sure how he found it, not even ilya, but he quote tweets with “will be getting him oregnant tomingr he will habe a real bany once o am done with him” and it goes stupid viral even outside of the hockey sphere. svetlana quote tweets that with a 5 minute long video of him typing out that one tweet typos and all, nodding confidently to himself before hitting post.
Actually, I do want season 2 to blow its music budget on a mainstream song. But it’s not Diamonds by Rihanna, and not even because I dislike the placement of that song. I want them to blow all their money to get the Centaurs’ goal song, DJ Khaled’s “All I do is Win,” because I want the absolutely rancid vibes of Ilya scoring a hat trick and then just skating dejectedly back to the bench while that song plays as their fan (1) cheers, because yeah Ilya got a hat trick, but currently the score is 10-3.
#a whole montage of the centaurs just losing and losing and losing set to this song...CAN YOU IMAGINE.#cross-cut with shots of ilya all alone in his house in ottawa watching tv. and seeing the metros win and win and win... OUCH#i'd simultaneously be cackling and crying for my guy. oh ilya. :(
@booksandabeer you always see my vision! Honestly, let's flesh out this montage more: Not only are the Cens losing and the Metros winning, but this montage is also them like hooking up in their brief moments and driving home in the middle of the night and Shane almost hitting a deer on the highway (someone else gave me that idea, can't take credit, maybe it was you lmao!) and phone sex and video calls in their arena parking lots and abandoned lots near their arenas and Ilya biting spitefully into a McGriddle as Shane drinks a black coffee and them kissing desperately in Ilya's's entryway with Ilya falling to his knees and Tanner Dillon sending such a wide pass to Ilya that it might as well have been to the other team and ripping ripping ripping into Shane's pre-maid Macros friendly tasteless meals and Shane climbing on top of Ilya while he's still in the driver's seat in his driveway kissing all over his face and then the song cuts out to them collapsed on the couch snoring and sleeping with like a western conference game on the TV
this is how new yorkers @ mamdani
Man I miss free the nipple. Its getting warmer and we don’t even have free the nipple anymore
I love this image immensely because first and foremost I find it incredibly funny to apply in dire situations. But second and second-most because on occasion, in certain circumstances, it represents a truth and gospel unmatched by any other statement on the internet.