The Opponent

A literal barrel of sunshine. *Contents may vary.

[the-opponent]

THE GREATEST (OR POSSIBLY STUPIDEST) IDEAS OF 2021

X-Men The Movie vs. Street Fighter The Movie

The Shitty Bee-Gees

The Four Horsemen, but it's four dudes in horse suits

Frank And Cents, a Christian-owned combination hot dog stand and bank

Bob Ross for MS Paint

Where In The World Is Carmen San Diego Comic-Con?

A Mega Man fan game that changes the robots into humans and vice versa

Relient K.K.Slider

Chess with fog of war. The board is twice the normal length but the same height. Your pieces are aligned on a random column along the board but in the same order, so you don't know where the enemy's pieces are horizontally relative to yours.

Your own Death Battle series except it's all about why you're stronger than any fictional character

The song "Love Is In Danger", except the one in danger is me

Sworded cables

Wrestling dream match: Mr. Ass & the Booty Man vs. the Johnsons

XXXML

Repurpose the big fighting game tournament stages for these real-life fights. We can hire some people to construct a big cage to keep the audience safe, and make it eight sides to make sure there's no corners for the players to hide in.

AR glasses plugin that shows Twitch chat so you never miss anything

Kommunity: The show Community, but with Mortal Kombat characters. Nothing else is different

A Netflix adaptation of Kid Dracula that is like Muppet Babies, stock footage and all

Space Jam 2: Time Jam

Tune Squad vs. Time Squad

Game Center CX, dubbed by the MXC people

Fist of the Three Kingdoms

Ring King of the Monsters

Power rock remix albums of Final Fantasy songs called Power Fantasy

Mega Paint, a Mega Man-themed Mario Paint

Weight loss idea: VR Trash streams

Get the Demoknight into Samurai Shodown

The Quiet Man as a survival horror game

The Atari Jaguar console mold was famously used years later for dental imaging cameras. Dental offices should use Jaguar controllers instead of telephones.

Instead of "I Voted" stickers, issue "I Gloated" stickers

Video game about running a surreal public transit system: Polybus 

Urban Champion vs. Eternal Champions

Second Most Extreme Elimination Challenge

Play NES Battletoads and NES Double Dragon at the same time with one controller  

[the-opponent]

THE GREATEST (OR POSSIBLY STUPIDEST) IDEAS OF 2020

Monday Night Sakura Wars 

MUGEN with every military fighting game character

M.B.A. Jam, and the competing series, Wall Street Hoop

Chicago Gaiden, a show about all the stuff you don't see during all those Chicago TV series. 

MKUltraman 

Jonny Quest 64 

Top Ten Exploding Superman Planets 

Just start World War 4 and make everyone wonder what happened to 3. 

Secretary of Save States 

A hack of Arkanoid that changes the ball to the DVD logo 

Frogger at accurate scale 

An isekais anime that starts with the guy who was in the other world coming back, and they spend the whole series dealing with the aftermath of their absence. We only see the other world in flashbacks. 

SD Mr. Peanut

North and South America should merger and become Super America. There should be some cyberpunk movie where that's the backstory. 

In a JRPG, the more you use a specific character, their model slowly becomes more muscular, and vice versa if you stop using them regularly.

Crossover between Shin Megami Tensei and the Left Behind books 

Nidhogg with digitized graphics 

Prince of Persia 1 remake with digitized graphics 

An MMO not set in a high fantasy world

Extreme Trains, the mature edgy reboot of Lots and Lots of Trains

A sequel to North & South, set in the present day and called Northwest & Southeast

Job Simulator, but unironic and without the comedy. You have to actually do work, in real time, or else get fired. The Desert Bus of VR games.

WMAC Masters with eSports 

ROM hack of Ninja Gaiden to insert Richard Harrison: Ninja Gordon 

ROM hack of Castlevania to change Dracula to Count Chocula 

Using Poké Balls like golf balls, where you have to drive harder for better capture rate 

Locke's Pants: Put padlocks all over the corduroys. It's the new fashion thing.   

Spaghetti Code Geass

A Vtuber that is just a Monty Python-style portrait where only the lips move and the head occasionally bobs around a little. 

A western cartoon in the vein of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, except in place of the author's love of references to 20th century western rock bands, it has references to 20th century Japanese city pop bands. 

Change Daylight Savings Timeses to move the clock back one hour in the spring too 

A battle royale game with 100 battle royale games 

A Twitch channel that just streams automated Desert Bus gameplay 24/7.  People watch it and it actually runs the full game endlessly. Then at some point a year later, the game suddenly and seamlessly changes. The bus takes a turn that wasn't there before and goes on a trip to a mysterious city. It stops, the passenger gets off, and it was actually a super long build-up to a completely unrelated game announcement.

High visibility lights: It's like Hi Fis for your eyes.

Third World Martial Arts Council Masters (WMAC Bum Fights)

Blue's Cluedo

Minnesota Fats vs. Virginia Slims

Police Quest, except with Robocop 

Ashita no G.I. Joe 

Mod NBA Jam to turn every player into cartoon characters, so we get the Space Jam video game we should have gotten and didn't. 

An episode of Ed, Edd n Eddy called Ed And The City

The Zombie Survival Guide, but with the zombies replaced with ninjas 

Ballz 3D with roll-back netcode

Fire Emblem: Three Stooges 

A hot-blooded shounen protagonist who makes no sound. He thinks everyone around him is deaf.

Double elimination kumite 

Mabel Syrup 

ROM hack of Wario Land 4 with Wario replaced with Abobo 

OnlyEnemies 

Time Gal Godot 

Dril of the Jungle 

A shmup where the bullets are taxes 

Duke Nukem quotes voiced by Johnny Bravo 

A Jurassic Park dating sim, but it has only the human characters and the dinosaurs are never mentioned or seen 

Medical-grade Big Van Vader mask 

Robocop vs. Robotech 

A show that combines the melodrama of Godfrey Ho ninja affairs and the production values of tokusatsu      

Final Fantasy, a new game with no relation to the NES game, because they felt the need to reboot continuity. Then a few years later they come out with Final Fantasy 2 (not II). 

Testosteraunts 

Crazy Climber game set on the Sheraton

Superhero who only fights Twitter parody accounts 

In fighting game, when time runs out, the round doesn't end, but both players' life starts draining until someone dies. 

Beat-them-up based on Surviving Edged Weapons 

Captain Planet beat-them-up. It would have to be a five-player game, and when the boss comes out, they all combine to be Captain Planet and all players control him at the same time. 

Metroidvania that uses the layout of Legends of the Hidden Temple 

cat Videos, a site that collects all the YouTube videos with the word "cat" in its URL 

Second to Last Blade 2 

Set of Survival Arts tournaments called the Survival Series 

Rainbow Edition Gradius with no limit on Options    

Kemono Friends but with deep sea life, the most messed up version of Spongebob Squarepants imaginable 

Open-world football game based on 17776 

An Even Better Tomorrow 

Spite Court 

Musou game based on Parliament fights

Bad Dudecember, the sequel to Karnovember

[the-opponent]

Attempted a ROM hack. Fitting three letters into a single 8x8 tile is hard.

Apply on any Arkanoid 1 NES ROM: http://theo.minuspoint.com/files/Arkanoid_DVD.ips

[the-opponent]

[the-opponent]

THE GREATEST (OR POSSIBLY STUPIDEST) IDEAS OF 2019

Stephen King-sized beds

Neo Turf Shockmasters

Rival Schools with elementary school students

Rival Schoolhouse Rock

Capcom vs. SNK: Millennial Fight 2000

A fast food restaurant called Legendary Wings

Internet of Barbie Tingz

Visual BASICs of CQC

Track and Field Programmable Gate Array

Child Predator, a movie about the Predator's offspring

A movie about Africa with no black people in it. Just rivers and animals and stuff.

Shit-canceling headphones

Reverse G-Gundam where tiny androids pilot humans

A horror game called There's No Such Thing As Satchmo. Your goal is to disprove Satchmo's existence while also being stalked by Satchmo.

Make a brand new NES game, manufacture cartridges for it, and sell it only at yard sales and flea markets and pretend it's actually an old game.

Wrestle Kingdom Hearts

A marathon, Wacky Races style: One where you still have to run, but everyone is encouraged to cheat and sabotage the other runners.

Brak Mirror

Zombie Goasts 'n Goblins

Mortal Kombat DLC for Surgeon Simulator. No tools, you just punch all the organs out of the way and rip the organ to transplant out with your bare hand.

Ys IV-2: Son of the Mask of the Sun

Dry Ice Climber

Essential Oreos

A shmup based on Fight of Gods, like King of Fighters Sky Stage:  Flight of Gods

Donkey Kongtra

A RPG where the six stats are: Luck, Skill, Concentrated power of will, Pleasure, Pain, Reason to remember the name

Spice physics

Piper's Pit Fighter

Non-alcoholic Gatorade

Randomizer that combines Twilight Princess and Metroid Prime

A sequel to Kirby's Dream Course, except with Samus

A reboot of Comix Zone with manga

Carl Sagat

Fortunado, the most underrated Ninja Turtle

Neo Turf Masters randomizer, with procedurally generated courses

A futuristic reboot of Castlevania set in space, where the Vampire Killer is a laser whip and Dracula is basically Darth Vader

A car alarm that shouts "Oh, my car!"

Martin Luther King Kong

A fighting game with every character of a certain natural element, like all ice characters, etc.

Ironic Maiden

A hack of California Games with all the characters changed to California Raisins

Fighting game based on live-action Sailor Moon

Rockman & Fortenite

Have Jesus turn a watermelon into a winemelon

A game in which killing every NPC is possible, but extremely difficult and unintuitive to the point where it's not worth the effort. Doing it anyway will result in being subjected to a rant about how Under***l sucks.

Goddammit! All Berries

Halftime shows for boxing main events

High-Yeast Investment Program — "Profits are going UP"

Virginia Beach Boys

Shannon Lee commentates Evo

SNK Middle Managers

Slot machine that pays out in Fruit Roll-Ups

May-December Romance of the Three Kingdoms

A flamethrower park, where people can rent flamethrowers and go into spaces filled with kudzu and destroy things without risk

Mood vapes: The color of the smoke reflects your mood

The King of Fighters 2098

Alien vs. Predator vs. Plants vs. Zombies

Josie and the Pussy

A mod that changes Ryu's Shoryuken to Right You Are, Ken

A game jam with the only restriction that all of your sound effects have to come from arcade Final Fight. You're not allowed to modify the sounds in any way but you can use any music you want.

A Smash Bros. Ultimate mod that replaces Joker with Joaquin Phoenix

A MUGEN with every fighting game clown character ever

A storyline for Capcom vs. SNK 3: Ken's ending has him buy out the rights to the Masters Tournament so Neo Turf Masters can have its old name back.

Survival Arts & Crafts

Trusting a doctor named Ed to treat your ED

Lisa Lisa Frank

A recurring pair of beat-them-up enemies named Args and Kwargs

Reverse Zombie Nation, where the head of a famed American soldier goes to Japan to save them from aliens.

Surviving Perfect Weapons, a film about protecting yourself against Jeff Speakman

A licensed sequel to Space Harrier for the British home computers called Time Harrier, similar but jankier gameplay set in multiple time periods that make less sense as it goes on

Cobra Unit boss named The Shame, who runs around yelling "The Shame" all the time

Neural network that vomits those stupidly long light novel titles

#NotAllTerrainVehicles

Floating Point OPeration Wolf

Ys Howard

Start a city named Die, and make it a sister city to Hell, Michigan

Godfrey Ho movie based on The Super Spy

An arcade game that does nothing but arrest you. No gameplay or graphics or sound or any other kind of interaction, just put in a credit and the police come and take you to jail.

Shitpostopoly

A modded battle royale game server that, when two players are left, immediately delete all items from the map and both players' inventories, set them to full health and 0 armor, give them five seconds of invincibility, and force them to melee while the Mortal Kombat theme plays.

Bionic Kim Kommando

A Transformers game but they never change into the robots. They're always the cars and it's a Twisted Metal crossover.

A character in a Japanese game with an R in their name, but the game randomly changes it to an L sometimes so you're never sure what their name is.

[officialunitedstates]

How many computer monitors does your employer give you?

0: You are a hard worker, perhaps a farmer or a fireman

1: You are not valued at all in your job.  You should quit immediately

2: Not bad, but they’d fire you as soon as the next recession hits

3: You are an essential employee that is loved and cared for

4: You are overworked and underpaid

5: Quit immediately; your employer has no financial sense

[pixelclash]

“COMING SOON FOR YOU!” - Total Carnage (Midway - arcade - 1992) 

[the-opponent]

Everyone born on September 11, 2001 are now 16 years old today and in high school. They’re all at the perfect age to awaken to their destinies and go on adventures. They all have the potential to be anime protagonists.

Just think about it for a while: If you were born on 9/11, you were born on one of the most significant days of the 21st century, if not the most. Things like that don’t happen often in the world, so it only makes sense that the circumstances of your birth would grant you some kind of special gift. It’s a much better possibility than the reality that you’re the poster child for the remembrance of the hardest-hitting attack on American soil in history, and odds are you’re more sick of it than anyone else in the world.

Consider this: in the video game Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow, a guy was born the minute Dracula was killed for the 15th time, for real this time, and the magic powers he was born with lead him to believe that he’s the new Dracula. There were also a few other guys born that exact moment, but they’re all losers.

In short, a few guys were born the minute Dracula was killed for good and they got magic powers for it. Just as there are certainly many people who were born the second the symbol of the United States’s commercial power was killed, they too should also get some kind of supernatural abilities.

So if you’re tired of having to not forget something you were too young to remember in the first place, look at the other sides of it that you aren’t even considering. Just think, you might be destined to fight Dracula. Heck, you might even be Dracula. Isn’t that exciting!

I’ll be sure to check back on you all next year and see how you’re doing on your journeys. You have some big shoes to fill, and I know you can do it. Good luck!

[the-opponent]

Happy birthday, 17-year-olds of destiny! I want you all to know that there are people all over the world who still believe in you and have faith that you’ll succeed in your missions, whatever they may be. You’ve had a lot put on your shoulders over the past year, and we’re all doing what we can to cope. Come next year, you will all be adults, the very first to enter the professional world with your unique situation. As one who was clueless to what was happening on that fateful day 17 years ago for several hours due to poorly communicated explanations over the school broadcast systems, I can’t start to imagine what you’ve gone through your entire lives.

Just a cursory glance at what’s happened over the last year is enough to see that this is a real trial for most of you. A lot of you are now at the time in your lives where you’re searching for purpose, something to give your mission meaning after it’s done. Never forget that you have people all over the globe supporting you, and they will be more than happy to aid you in any way you need if you reach out to them. Remember: This is for everyone, not just your own kind. Be safe out there, and good luck!

[the-opponent]

Welcome to adulthood, destined ones! I hope you’ve been doing well.

I’m not going to sugar-coat it. This has been one of the most challenging years for all of us this decade, and to think it’s almost at an end. But we’ve all heard all about it all year, so I’m not going to say a word more here. We all need each other more than ever before, and as much as I’m loath to admit it, we need you and your gifts more than you need us. 

You’re all adults now. You’re legally able to vote and do many things that will likely have a very different meaning to you than it does to everyone who came before you. Most importantly, you’re all eligible to vote. You’ve been told all your lives about how crucial your decisions are to the entire country’s future, and for certain, the gravity of that fact hasn’t yet sunk in. And I have to confess, at this stage, I don’t have much more to say that I haven’t said already. All I can say is: We still have absolute faith in you, and we’ll support you whatever you decide.

Thank you for your unwavering bravery. I can’t say it enough. Good luck, and vote responsibly!

[the-opponent]

If you watched the Smash Bros. Ultimate announcement today and don't know who Terry Bogard or what Fatal Fury is, please educate yourself at your earliest convenience with this tape from 1995.

[the-opponent]

[bison2winquote]

Visit Original Link

- The first rendition of the Star Spangled Banner to ever be featured in a video game, Double Dribble [Arcade] (Konami)

[screenshotsofdespair]

[obscuritory]

I have never played a game that I didn’t see some level of value in. This includes “terrible” rip-offs. Each one of them has presented some type of different view of looking at a game. Even if you’re trying really hard to fit in, and make a game that everyone else is making, some little bit of your own touch is going to get through. I’ve received quite a bit of inspiration by playing “bad” student games because somehow they always manage to present something new that I would not have thought of. Even if, on surface, they look “bad”. Even spectacular failure can be inspiring. All this adds to the pool of creativity. A very bad game can inspire a good one.

Nathalie Lawhead, from “If “games are art”: challenging the toxicity of gamer culture and preconceptions of what a game is”

[the-opponent]

[the-opponent]

And to think people used to respect this site.

[the-opponent]

Happy 2nd birthday, Nintendo Switch! 

[the-opponent]

[the-opponent]

My favorite Reggie Fils-Aime moment.

[the-opponent]

[the-opponent]

How to improve Tetris 99