The Orford

21, they/them. honestly guys i'm just scared and itchy

[the-orford]

great news! today is my 2 year alive-aversary. today is 2 years since i decided to keep living. here's what's happened since then:

-i moved to the city i've always wanted to live in

-i found a partner who loves me as i am and doesn't tear me down

-i booked the job i've spent my whole life chasing

-i've made new friends who love me

-today, i had a really good dinner!

it was so hard to make the decision to keep going. but i look at myself today and i am so glad i did! i don't wanna miss a thing. anyways thank you for reading love you 🫶

[thepursuitofunderstanding]

Home is not where you were born; home is where all your attempts to escape cease.

Naguib Mahfouz​​​​​​​​​

[the-orford]

this is really nice and it's interesting because after i moved from my hometown i noticed a huge change in myself. i suddenly stopped needing to be a shark, moving at all times. i was content and happy.

i'm visiting my hometown now for the holidays, and the shark mentality is back. and i find myself saying "i want to go home" when i am in the place that was supposed to be my home. my destructive behaviors (drinking, drugs) are amplified here, and all i want to do is run and drive fast with my music blaring.

but i don't feel that way when i'm home. and that's nice. home is finding stability as an unstable person.

[the-orford]

i made something. it's good to be creative again ❤️

[the-orford]

so in my final interview the boss man asked me why i know im not a quitter and on a whim i grabbed my antidepressants and held them up

i got the job

[the-orford]

i think there might be a pigeon in this station. i can't see it though

[the-orford]

i believe i may be a combination of if amir valerie blumenfeld wasn't evil and insecure jake

[the-orford]

imagine i work for the census bureau and knock on peoples doors and say FEDERAL AGENCY OPEN UP and it's just me, a they/them twink in big sunglasses

[the-orford]

had an anxiety attack on the plane and they gave me the hard stuff

[the-orford]

[juniperjellyfish]

Dramatically draped over the couch like a Victorian widow.

I am eepy

[the-orford]

the way i wish to write novels and poems and stories and live my escapist fantasies and leave them on the page

[the-orford]

my cishet partner just called vogueing "the gay person gritty"

[baursakpenkulpinai]

[the-orford]

can't decide if i want to watch it be pretty or go in and get smashed against the pointy rocks like a yoga ball

[the-orford]

it's crazy cuz this is my first time back in almost 10 years and i am loving the energy (the energy being this isn't twitter)

[the-orford]

for those who don't know this is basically what my gender identity boils down to

[the-orford]

Become less annoying

yknow i took adderall for that and tbh it didn't go great

[the-orford]

thinking about many things:

-i would be such a good muppet

-

-

-that's about it