your blog. confuses me. /notneg
Yeah, it's been getting a lot of off-topic attention lately. I promise I'll get back to rating cute viral videos of ACTUAL animals soon!
Out of character under the cut. Formerly is-it-cute-gf-au-edition. As long as you aren't in the app, you can view this blog in chronological here.
Hi! Just going to make this my pinned.
THIS BLOG IS UPDATING AGAIN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A WHILE! The timeline below is accurate, but out of date!
What is all this Ford Pines nonsense?
So, @jellyskink is a gravity falls fanartist who's responsible for the "Domesticated Ford" au. It's a horror/dark comedy "bad ending" AU for the show Gravity Falls. In it, Bill Cipher manages to make a deal with Fiddleford McGucket, and uses his body to imprison Ford Pines for years until he has been brainwashed into complying with Bill's demands.
Ford opens the portal, Bill enters Earth, and Ford becomes his personal property - his "pet." He's constantly tortured, but is so brainwashed that he still craves Bill's attention and love. Just like in the show, Bill Cipher and his gang are stuck in the weirdness bubble, but in this AU, the bubble is slowly expanding. Ford is trying to find a way to prevent the bubble from completely destroying the universe as it expands, but when he's not doing that, he's fawning on Bill.
Ford is so deeply delusional and dissociative in this AU that he honestly wants to be with Bill, and can't comprehend how bad his situation is. This is probably for the best, because his situation is really, really bad.
A couple of other AUs have come up - namely, @alexthebordercollie's Hand of God, a different Bill Wins AU in which Ford is functionally a god now. That Ford likes Domesticated!Ford and seemingly wants to adopt him as his own. It's all very messy.
What is this blog?
This blog is based on "is the animal video cute?" style blogs that check viral animal videos to make sure they are actually cute, not abusive. (For example: dog clicker-trained to jump? Cute. Dog baited into fighting a raccoon? Not cute.) The idea is, Bill Cipher puts Ford in pet show contests because he thinks it's funny, and these clips have gone viral online in-universe. This blog is a "pet rater" blog that got sent a bunch of Ford Pines content.
Real life me is so deeply uncomfortable with online discourse that I don't even link my fan blogs to my main. The fictional character of Pet Rater Guy, though, is the sort of person who gets baited by online trolls REALLY easily and keeps getting in over his head when it comes to The Disk Horse.
Who am I?
I'm a fanfiction writer who wrote some stuff based on Jellyskink's AU, and we became friends!
PET GUY TIMELINE
Pre-history: the blog is new, but in-universe, it's been reviewing pet show content for years.
Pet Guy starts reblogging Ford Pines content at the request of fans. Pet guy calls out these posts as problematic.
Pet Guy ends up in a nasty fight with in-universe Jellyskink, a Ford fan who is clueless about the context of the photo and videos she posts.
Pet Guy begins attracting more attention from people who are pro-Ford and pro-Bill.
Pet guy's anti-abuse posts attract the attention of a godded Ford (@chiphersconsort) from another dimension.
Pet Guy gets very scared and drunk.
Pet Guy has cordial interactions with this deific Ford, which get out of hand because of Pet Guy's intoxication. Pet Guy gets transformed.
Pet guy wakes up to find that he's a hungover raccoon. He keeps blogging as before.
A weird Cipher Loyalist @phosphorwings shows up in Pet Guy's comments and reblogs, but they seem to be on good terms with the god that cursed Pet Guy, so Pet Guy tries to be polite to them.
Pet Guy (who is a raccoon) sets up a side blog @totallynotstalkingmothguy to monitor the Cipher Loyalist.
Despite this side blog, Pet Guy and phosphorwings begin to become friends, in no small part because chiphersconsort makes it very clear that Pet Guy is to be nice to phosphorwings. Ciphersconsort knows about the side blog.
Pet guy helps Phosphorwings understand internet context such as memes, as well as internet safety and etiquette such as how to deal with trolls. He mentions on the side blog that ciphersconsort gives him psychic head scritches when he's "a good boy."
Phosphorwings becomes upset at an anonymous ask that suggests he has Stockholm syndrome; in his very emotional reply, he insists that "his muse" is wonderful to him. Pet Guy posts "...His muse?" On the side blog, a then later reblogs it with, "I don't remember posting this."
Phosphorwings begins to post references to his life that make it appear he is in a severely abusive relationship. Pet guy gets concerned and asks chiphersconsort for "divine wisdom" in the tags of a post. Chiphersconsort informs him he's handling it.
Pet guy now regularly refers to Chiphersconsort as "god." Pet guy is regularly getting asks about him being a "lap raccoon" or other pet-related jokes. He has been accused of wanting to crawl in chiphersconsort laps and has replied that "wanting that would be weird".
Chiphersconsort posts a picture of the chaos moths that he uses to find outbreaks entropy, the apocalyptic force that is currently destroying his dimension. Phosphorwings and Pet Guy are both really excited. Pet Guy asks for a copy of his research notes, which he receives.
Phosphorwings and another mutual, @ranchsoda92, invite Pet Guy to play DDnmD together. When Pet Guy protests that none of them know where he lives and he doesn't know where they live, ranchsoda92 tells him to open his window.
Several hours later, Pet Guy posts a series of frantic and cryptic posts on both blogs about having been at Phosphorwings's house.
In response to Pet Guy explaining what non-sexual BDSM is to phosphorwings, someone asks if Pet Guy a kink question. Pet Guy answers. This becomes an entire subject of conversation.
Chiphersconsort makes a series of posts that showcase his extremely concerning relationship with his husband (his dimension's Bill Cipher). Pet Guy is very upset and concerns.
Chiphersconcert has a manic episode and becomes disconcertingly affectionate toward Pet Guy, including posting a screenshot of an unpublished ask suggesting PG ask "god" to "do freak shit", left over from the BDSM series. He also offers to do horrible things to the various anons who have said upsetting things to Pet Guy. Pet Guy tries to manage this situation.
Chiphersconsort recovers from his mania and seemingly forgets who Pet Guy is altogether. Pet Guy is relieved. He also forgets who Phosphorwings is again and reblogs several of his previous posts expressing confusion.
Chiphersconsort offers to GM the next game of DDnmD. Pet Guy attends. To manage his panic, Chiphersconsort uses magic to calm him down. This backfires by making Pet Guy extremely high and silly.
Chiphersconsort wipes Pet Guy's memory.
Pet Guy enters a private chat with the DDnmD squad. He announces that he isn't going to publicize any information from the chat but that it's "wild." He uses this chat to confirm that he is getting regularly memory wiped.












