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Felicity turns two tomorrow and I’m so upset. I can’t even believe it. I wish I wasn’t always so sad about my kids birthdays but if I sit here and think about it I’ll cry 😢 obviously I don’t let them know I hate their birthdays, but I freakin hate their birthdays haha

Around Christmas time I freaked myself out reading stories about women that had babies and found out they had skin cancer..so I went and had a mole check. The dermatologist ended up shaving off 7 moles! I was so freaked out but everything came back normal. I’ve always been so thankful that the kids are healthy but as I’m getting older I am so so thankful for my health too. I’ve always taken it for granted but not anymore! I want to be around forever!!! For real though PSA get your moles checked! It was scary to even hear they looked a little abnormal and even though they were okay I’m glad they’re off of me now.

I’m taking 5 classes this semester (3 online because I hate leaving the kids) and I’m Tristan’s room mom. I graduate (fucking finally) this fall and walk in the spring and it’s so weird. I’m so happy to be almost done but I’ve been going since Tristan was a newborn in 2011 so it will be weird when this chapter is over!

One of my best friends moved to norcal over the summer and my other best friend has been living in napa going to school since fall so I’m soooo freakin lonely😭 thankfully my best friend comes home in April but it’s so annoying only having Cody to hang out with hahaha. I have other friends here but I just like to hang out with my best friends that ditched me😭😭

We are going to Vegas with Tristan’s best friends parents in February and I’m so excited! But I’m nervous because I’ll be leaving the kids for 2 nights and I’ve never spent a night away from felicity 😭 I wish I could be more comfortable leaving them but I never am.

I can’t shake the last 5-7 lbs I wanted to but honestly I don’t care that much anymore. I looked back at postpartum pics the other day and yikes man haha. I’m just happy with where I’m at 🤷🏼‍♀️ I do want to get my hair a little lighter but being blonde is expensive. Not trying to pay 150-200 for a haircut and color 😭

Felicity is still breastfeeding 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 girlfriend is almost 2 and I never thought I would last this long haha. After how hard it was for us in the beginning, I’m glad it was so worth it. I’m sad to stop but I’m over it too haha. But she literally nurses as much as a newborn if I let her and she screams when I put away the boob haha. Boob monster

We are hopefully buying tickets to Oahu this week to go on spring break with my family! I was born in Hawaii and we used to visit every year and I miss it so badly. I really am hoping we are able to go for sure because I can’t wait for the kids to experience it💚

The boys made me laugh so hard I kinda peed my pants today 😂 I always brag about how awesome my bladder control is after having 3 kids but apparently it’s not that great😂

I’m so glad they have such a funny sense of humor

Tristan drew a pic of our family where felicity is the smallest obvi and then Cody is the biggest

Codys moms cousin (who I’ve met twice in the almost 10 years we’ve been together) commented this on a family pic Tristan drew at school.

I get easily annoyed with fb posts but wtf I feel like that’s a rude ass comment???

1. You don’t know our family sooo don’t be acting like you know our dynamics 2. I’ve taken a million child development courses so don’t be trying to educate me 3. Sorry but I am a better parent than Cody is, lmao tru tho and 4. He drew him the largest because he IS the biggest.

I deleted the comment 😂

I’m so nervous about Tristan going to school for 6 hours it makes me want to puke 😩

Ever since he was like 1 I seriously knew he would be okay in school because he’s so damn independent haha

But still after 2 years of him only going 3 hours a day I’m so nervous 😢

In a group text with a couple of his friends moms they were saying they were looking at baby pics right now and I’m like umm definitely not doing that! First grade is like a real kid now 😭

#tristan

I haven’t had a period since August 2014 😱

I got pregnant September 2014 with Liam, pumped for 1 year, right away got pregnant with felicity, then have been breastfeeding for 17 months. I have not missed having one 🙃

I just wanna shop and shop and shop and spend tons of money on myself 😩

Felicity is just. Like. Tristan. Was. She’s super insane and totally independent. Liam’s always been my stage 5 clinger which I lovedddd and he’s still like that! But with that came the crying 24/7...which he still does 😂😭

All she wants to do is run away and it makes my life a million times more difficult hahaha

I am hiding from felicity right now while she plays unsupervised lol

She is seriously crazy with breastfeeding now. She screams at me if I try to put my boob away and if I’m sitting down she comes right over to me and claws nonstop at my shirt. I have scratches all over my chest right now😮

Tristan keeps getting invited to play dates and birthdays and I’m like damnit 😩 I was quiet as a kid and didn’t like most people (things haven’t changed haha) so now that I have a super extroverted kid that has so many friends I’m just likeeee 🙃

Felicity is finally walking at 14 months! she walks like a little robot haha. She has 6 front teeth and 2 molars coming in.

Liam’s been fully potty trained for about 3 months now and the past 2 days he kept peeing himself. He’s been super naughty and not listening this week soo idk what’s going on there. He’s so sweet though and asks to cuddle with me every single day 😭😭

It’s been slowly warming up and I’m so sad. I cannot stand the heat and am ready for fall already. I die imagining the 90-117 degree temps that we get here in the middle of summer.

I avoid grocery shopping so much now and it’s really bad. I go and spend $150 and then I come home and it’s like I didn’t even buy anything at all. And lately the kids have been really hard when we go🙄

I can’t believe Tristan’s going to be in school for like 6/7 hours this fall! I’m sad but it’s going to be so nice being able to get more stuff done during the day! In TK and kinder he went for like 2 1/2 hours and it was right when the babies napped so I would just come home, put the kids down, have lunch and then it was time to wake them up and go pick up Tristan already. Socrazy to have a first grader.

The past 6 years it’s kind of just felt like Cody and I have been frantically taking care of 1 baby, then 2 babies, then 3 babies hahaha

But during the past few months it has felt like things are shifting. there are certain times where it totally feels like we’re a ‘real’ family and not just tired & stressed parents running after babies. when we’re in the car and Cody and I are sitting next to each other and the kids are all talking and laughing with each other makes me happy. And we are doing a thing every other Sunday where we go to a pizzeria haha and the boys and Cody go play games while felicity and I watch, and we just eat together and it’s so fun 😭😭

I go through different moods like every week and it’s annoying. One week I’ll just feel so happy and so thankful for my kids and Cody, and then the next week I feel awful and just want to be alone and let all my chores go. Am I bipolar or is that mom depression lollllll🙂🙃

Ugh Cody’s stuck at work an hour and a half away sooo I have to go to Tristan’s open house by myself with the kids 😞 I feel so guilty when I can’t just focus on Tristan. Plus I hate being judged/looking like a single mom with 3 little kids🙃

inahiddenplace

being an adult is just… calling people that’s literally it… just calling people you don’t want to call about problems you don’t want to have to be solving.. it’s disgusting

the-pickety-witch

Lol yesss and giving them all your money 😭

Girlfriend NEEDS to pop another tooth or something. The past week/2 weeks she has wanted to nurse as much as a newborn. But a newborn with teeth that bites. And stabs her toe right in my eye. And claws my chest. And backhands my phone across the living room 🙃

Also...the boys have the flu.....for the 50th time this year.....it’s ridiculous at this point haha.

Cody just confuses the shit out of me. When we first got together we were young but we always said we wanted four kids. Well we had 2 and when Liam was like 4 days old I bugged him asking him if he ever wants another baby and he said he was done. He didn’t say it in a mean way or anything but I was hormonal and couldn’t stop crying imagining that being the last time I ever had a newborn. Why I was thinking of more babies when I had a brand new newborn...who the fuck knows. Deep down I knew I eventually wanted another kid in our family so it hurt me. Well I didn’t dwell on that for a long time since 20 months later felicity was born haha. So after having her I felt our family was complete. Cody and I said we didn’t want anymore and I was 99% okay with that. That 1% is only because I feel like even if I had a hundred kids, a little part of me would always be sad about never being pregnant or having another baby ever again. I don’t know if that ever goes away?

So we go to my in laws party this morning and Cody’s talking to some guys and they’re all joking about him getting snipped. He always jokes about it and says he wouldn’t be able to do it because it’s scary haha

But then tonight we went out with our friends and not even hours later he says he would be open to another kid. So I’m kind of in shock and I’m like “what?! You always say you would go crazy with another kid?!?” And he’s like “once you have 3 another one wouldn’t be so bad”

Like what.

Does anyone else get that feeling/vibe right before one of your kids get hurt? 🙃🙄 I can almost always sense it before it happens hahaha

“Mom..you haven’t exercised in a longggg time.”

-Tristan

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