Hey, uh, I wanted to get this out of my chest.
How do you start this “statement”? Uh-
Your body is a strange thing, isn’t it? You feel whole, you feel as though you are one full thing, that you control every aspect of your body. You control your own movements, but really—when you think about it, like really think about it—that’s all you can control. You don’t control the pace at which your heart beats. You don’t control the rushing of your blood inside your blood vessels. And you certainly don’t control the feeling of pain, or happiness, or the coldness of the air around you.
You don’t get to control what lives inside you, either.
Most people brush off our internal system as something built like a machine. Predictable and mechanical. Like it was made for very specific functions, doing very specific movements, at very specific times. To an extent, they are not wrong. But many do forget that it takes more than just peristaltic movement, for example, to digest something. It takes acids, chemicals, and sometimes living microbes. That’s also if you’re healthy. When you’re not, you may never know what is wrong in the human body until it is too late.
For the longest time, I was one of those people. I used to think of the body as self-contained. A closed system. Skin as a boundary, something that kept the outside out and the inside… contained. Safe, perhaps. Or at least, separate. I was a veterinarian, so I learned pretty quickly that though our bodies may seem self-contained, they carry tiny, microscopic living things that we may never see, or never know if we, as humanity, did not have such morbid curiosity of our bodies. Animals don’t have that problem. They don’t feel the crawling things in their skin or the breathing things under, simply because they do not know. They’re lucky beings, I suppose.
Animals carry things. A lot of farm animals do, as they are herbivores. Ruminants, specifically, carry tiny microbes that ferment plants inside the rumen. They break down fatty acids and work with the reticulum to break down the fibres. It’s easy to brush off the fact that these things are alive. These living microscopic beings are essential to the ruminant’s digestive system, and they mostly work in a sort of… symbiosis that benefits both parties. I was alright with those—I’ve never thought about it for too long, unless it was for an exam or some checkup. But some living beings—those crawling, small, horrid things—live inside other beings to burrow their way out of the parts inside us.
Parasites are… more varied in the realm of medicine I work in.
Parasites are not hard to understand, even if the person has limited knowledge of what they actually are or do. By definition, any living organism that needs other organisms as a place to live temporarily or permanently is a parasite. They can be in the form of worms, protozoa, or bugs. They’re nasty little things. I’ve had a dislike of worms since I was little; I was uncomfortable with how they squirmed, moved, and burrowed. Even as a child, I remember feeling… uncomfortable watching them. As though they didn’t belong on the surface of the world. As though they were meant to be somewhere else. Somewhere hidden. Suffice to say, I was not a particular fan of worms or parasites, for that matter, and I try to avoid cases that may deal with internal parasitic symbiosis.
Unfortunately, in my line of work, these cases are more common than you’d think, so I always end up with them no matter what I do. Best case scenario, a simple medicine is needed for a simple microorganism. Worst-case scenario… well, the parasite will try to overcome the host’s response, and the manifestation of this response is in the form of parasite adaptations, both morphological and biological in nature, as well as the parasite’s ability to avoid the host’s response. The simple fact is, cows die more often than not.
I consider myself unlucky to have been called about a case of a dying bull.
The man who called was tall, a little too lanky, and almost sickly pale. There was an awkward energy to him that’s rather striking, with watery blue eyes and a stench that I brushed off as the usual farm smell—though, in hindsight, it lingered longer than it should have. It was the scent of decay, with a mix of manure, so you can understand why I didn’t think much of it. When you’re in a field like mine, those smells tend to accompany you during work. I… I think his name was John Amherst.
The bull was already dead by the time I arrived. That, in itself, was not unusual. By the time cases like that are reported, intervention is often no longer an option. The owner, John, said it had stopped eating, grown restless in the days before. There had been weight loss, though not enough to raise an alarm until it was too late. It always seems to be too late.
For a case like this, a necropsy is needed to identify what was wrong. Parasites are strange like that. You’ll never know what crawls inside your intestines until you rip them open. I remember the body was still warm when we started the necropsy. That detail stuck with me. I wrote it down, even. Time of death, estimated to be about 15 minutes ago. External condition: no obvious lesions and no trauma. It looked… intact. Whole, in a way that didn’t quite match the circumstances. Cases like that, though most of them were medical, were always complicated. This one, however, wasn’t just complicated. It felt… wrong, somehow.
The bull lay there, unbreathing, its eyes glassy with the absence of life. As I stared into its eyes, there was movement in it that unsettled me. You have to understand, this was not the first time I had dealt with eye worms—it’s common in cattle worldwide—but the length of it, the way it was moving seemed calculated almost. I could almost hear the treacherous squelching of their wriggling, moving across the retina like a worm on a mission. I shook my head, trying to clear it, and my gaze pulled away from the spiralling thing. John asked me what was wrong before I realised I had stepped back and offered me water, but I refused politely. I wasn’t sure it would stay down.
I decided to make the procedure as quick as possible. I focused on the bull’s abdomen, taking my equipment out. The incision was made along the midline, clean and practiced. The blade met little resistance. That, too, struck me as unusual. There should have been some tension in the tissue, even post-mortem. A little more of that twitching muscle memory, especially on an animal as muscly as a bull. Instead, it parted too easily, as though the structure beneath had already begun to give way.
Not the usual expected sharpness of rumen contents or the sourness of digestion interrupted. This was something older. Sweeter. The kind of scent that clings to the back of your throat and settles there, refusing to leave. Rot, certainly, but not the kind that comes after death. The kind that begins before it. I paused, only briefly, before continuing. The skin was reflected, the muscle exposed—and even then, I could see it. Subtle movement beneath the layers, a shifting that did not correspond with my hands. I told myself it was post-mortem activity. My reassurance fell flat as my scissors got deeper.
The gastrointestinal tract of the bull was bloated. This, in itself, is normal: microbes emit gas that is now trapped in the corpse of this poor animal. But the stomach… it shifted as I exposed it. Not from escaping gas. Not from handling, I don’t think. From within. I have performed enough necropsies to know the difference. When I incised the rumen, the contents did not spill so much as… give way. They writhed. They moved and squelched and gurgled and I swear, they squealed. I could not stop cutting away the stomach, and what I saw was… I can’t explain it.
The first thing that hit me was the stench of rot. It should not have been possible. The bull has only been confirmed dead about less than an hour ago, so it could not have been decomposing already. But I know that scent well. It was the smell of lifelessness, of flesh turning into ash once more, of living beings eating their way in. Or, I suppose, in this case, they were eating their way out. I shuddered, but this comes with the job, I told myself.
As I continued my incision, I began to see what was inside more clearly. I can’t really identify which organisms I saw. Maggots, certainly. That would have been explainable. Flies lay eggs quickly, and in the right conditions, infestation can begin sooner than most are comfortable admitting. But these… These were too numerous. Too active. And among them, something else. Longer forms. Pale, threadlike bodies coiling through the mass, distinct from the usual larvae. Worms, yes, but not in the way I had ever seen them. They moved with a strange cohesion, not separate organisms so much as a single, restless thing given many shapes.
I became aware that John had not spoken in some time. I turned to him, looking for a trace of fear or disgust in his eyes, but there was nothing. He was still the strange pale man, and I did not realise at the time, but he smelled of the same rot that had infected the bull. I turned back to what I could only call a nest of maggots. In the midst of them, I saw worms, but I did not know where the maggots started or the worms ended. They were moving in spirals, and I watched and watched as more came poking out of this poor bull’s stomach. I could not pull my eyes away. Their wriggling created fractals that, if it wasn’t gruesome, were beautiful.
I began to notice that not only were the worms constantly burrowing, but my eyes had identified some that should not be there, in the stomach. It was one thing for a stomach to contain this many worms and organisms, but… You have to understand, these worms usually follow a certain classification. Some are based on its morphology, others are based on its predilection. They did not follow these rules. They coiled into each other like starving beings, slick and wet. It was almost as if they were singing, gruesome spicules harmonising under the pretence of beauty. It was not beauty. It was filth in its rawest form.
I do not know how long I stared. I do not even know when I came to.
But I snapped out of my trance as I felt something crawling up my arm.
At first, I thought it was external. A stray insect, perhaps—something from the grass, disturbed by the procedure. That would have been… normal. It was not.
The sensation did not remain at the surface. It pressed. It dragged. A slow, deliberate movement against the skin, leaving a trail of cold in its wake. I looked down. My hands… I had not realised where I had placed them. They were deep within the open cavity, submerged past the wrists in the shifting mass of rumen contents and living things. The gloves I wore were no longer clean, no longer intact in any meaningful sense. They were coated, obscured—no, moving.
For a moment, I did not understand what I was seeing.
A pale, threadlike body drew itself over the back of my hand, its length folding and unfolding as it moved with unsettling purpose. Another followed. And another. They were not simply clinging. They were climbing. I recoiled then—violently, instinctively—but the motion only seemed to disturb them further. The mass within the carcass shifted in response, a ripple that travelled outward, as though my movement had been felt. Several of them had already reached my wrist. I remember making a sound. I cannot say what it was. It did not feel like something I chose to make.
I tried to shake them off. My hands, my arms, jerked with a force that bordered on panic, but they did not fall away as easily as they should have. Their bodies bent with the motion, adhered, and maintained contact in a way that felt intentional. One brushed against the exposed skin just above my glove. I froze. It lingered there for a fraction too long. Long enough for me to feel the subtle pressure of it against my skin, the faint, searching movement as it traced the boundary between covered and uncovered flesh.
I tore my hands free from the cavity. The motion was wet. Resistant. When they came away, they did not come alone. I stumbled back, breath catching somewhere between my throat and my chest, and watched—unable to do anything else—as several of the things clung to me still, their bodies coiling slowly, persistently, as though reluctant to let go.
I gasp out a breath I did not know I was holding. John was still there behind me, as if he was watching. I didn’t care enough to look back at him, but I swore there was a hint of fascination.
I quickly found a place to wash my hands, and I scrubbed them as much as I could, trying to rid myself of the grime, slime, and itch that was slowly consuming me. I quickly told John that he should do an infestation cleaning to prevent infections, but I don’t think he was listening. He just looked at me with those blue eyes, as if wondering if I had seen anything strange. I wasn’t going to tell him about the strangeness in the bull’s stomach. In fact, I wasn’t going to come back.
So I gave him some places to call that can help sterilise the farm and left.
I still feel itchy in my hands. I thought it would fade with time, that it was nothing more than irritation from the work, something I could wash away and forget like I always have. But it didn’t stay there. It lingered, then spread—not across the skin, but beneath it. I noticed it first when I was alone, sitting still, when there was nothing to distract me from the quiet of my own body. A faint shifting. Subtle enough that I almost convinced myself it wasn’t there. Almost. But once I noticed it, I couldn’t stop. It wasn’t just my hands. It was deeper than that. Somewhere inside me, where I cannot see, where I cannot reach. And I realised, quite suddenly, with a clarity that made my breath catch, that whatever had been in that bull… I may not have left it behind.
Sometimes I hear the wet sound of the maggots singing to me about their filth. There is no beauty in it. There is only decay and squealing of the human body. What is made from the Earth shall rot.
(//if u see this in ao3 its cuz i wrote it a while ago LMFAO)
Ill have to get Sasha to research this one, as i dont trust Tim to try and Woo someone to get the answers. Nonetheless, reading a statement about bugs and worms under skin brings back memories I wish i had burried.